FabSwingers.com forum: Malicious or not?

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

So here's a scenario to put you. I'm not going to go into much other detail other than what's posted in this question.

If an acquaintance (not known very well at all) in real life sends you a message with a couple of photos attached. The message basically says that they thought you should know that one of your family members has a profile on a website called (insert name of popular paid content website), with a link to her profile.

The woman with the profile isn't doing anything illegal or wrong and is old enough to have photos like this. Obviously you would probably rather not see them though.

So my question is do you think the guy sending the message was being malicious or shit stirring sending it in the first place?

Hope that makes sense

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I can’t think of any other reason to be doing that in the situation you describe where it isn’t a safeguarding/welfare issue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shrug shoulders and move along. If anyone is doing anything "wrong", he's the one paying for access, bet his mrs or friends and family don't know about that do they?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely malicious and shit stirring.. especially if you didn't have access to the site yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

So yes, just to clarify this post isn't about the profile itself or the morality of selling nude images on the Internet.

I didn't particularly want to see these photos but as long as she is safe what she does is her business.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"I can’t think of any other reason to be doing that in the situation you describe where it isn’t a safeguarding/welfare issue "

This is what I thought. I'm not entirely sure what reaction this person wanted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I can’t think of any other reason to be doing that in the situation you describe where it isn’t a safeguarding/welfare issue "

This

Though OP the only person that knows the answer to your question is the one that sent the message.

Try and suss out their motives.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"I can’t think of any other reason to be doing that in the situation you describe where it isn’t a safeguarding/welfare issue

This

Though OP the only person that knows the answer to your question is the one that sent the message.

Try and suss out their motives."

Exactly yes. To be honest I'm pretty fuming with him but don't want to absolutely go to town on him if he was genuinely (although misjudged) trying to help. I just can't understand what good he expected to come out of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

Hah he sends the message to someone that’s on Fab lol

Presumably he is paying to see her content otherwise he’d not be able to take screen shots of it - double standards

Much depends on the context of the message sent - was it akin to here check her out or beware in case she does this when your kids are around

Either way an easy response is ‘so what’ she’s not doing anything illegal (unless she doesn’t declare her revenue to the tax man)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You only need to read the responses to the "would you tell (insert partner) if you saw their husband/wife on fab?"to know that people are more than happy to involve themselves in others affairs without knowing anything about it. I suspect that he thinks he's doing it in your best interests but people rarely are, they delight in drama.

If you feel the need to say something to him just tell him you're grateful for his concern but in future you'd appreciate it if he took that concern up with the person directly.

Of course if they're concerned the person might be in danger that's different

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless this person is working with the profile owner to drive up more subscriptions then it's a bit hinky. Like someone discovering you on here and purposely trying to out you publicly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Exactly yes. To be honest I'm pretty fuming with him but don't want to absolutely go to town on him if he was genuinely (although misjudged) trying to help. I just can't understand what good he expected to come out of it"

Leave it till you feel better able to chat about it casually

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Hah he sends the message to someone that’s on Fab lol

Presumably he is paying to see her content otherwise he’d not be able to take screen shots of it - double standards

Much depends on the context of the message sent - was it akin to here check her out or beware in case she does this when your kids are around

Either way an easy response is ‘so what’ she’s not doing anything illegal (unless she doesn’t declare her revenue to the tax man)"

No no, he's not on fab (as far as I know). The message wasn't sent on here. It definitely wasn't that context either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say yes they carteing shit

And stirring the pot

trying to case problems whare there isn’t any

it’s the person body if they want to put content out good on them if they comfortable with that

If anyone has a problem with that then that’s they probably

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t understand why people can’t just let things be - unless it was your partner of course.

Then really , if they’re only an acquaintance, it’s none of their business

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been a wanker I'd say not is business probably been turned down I'd certainly be having a word.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t understand why people can’t just let things be - unless it was your partner of course.

Then really , if they’re only an acquaintance, it’s none of their business "

Drama. Then they can put on their caring and concerned face while they support you through the fall out. Plus it's a great story to tell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you ask him why he sent it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely malicious and shit stirring.. especially if you didn't have access to the site yourself "

This

Plus they're an adult and you said doing nothing wrong, you needed to know why?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t understand why people can’t just let things be - unless it was your partner of course.

Then really , if they’re only an acquaintance, it’s none of their business

Drama. Then they can put on their caring and concerned face while they support you through the fall out. Plus it's a great story to tell "

True , so very true

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would keep proof of what this 3rd party has sent you as they might be building up to something else.

Or they are just a arsehole.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Did you ask him why he sent it? "

Yes. He said he thought I'd want to know what she was up to. He's been very much of the I'm helping you out, if I was in your shoes I'd want to know etc. I'm not buying it though, I think he's being an arse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Shit stiring

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Did you ask him why he sent it?

Playing devil's advocate, you've not said the relationship or age of the relative. If he's messaged you saying your 18 year old daughter is doing this and I'm concerned is slightly more valid than I'm concerned your 40 year old wide is doing this.

Thst said, the fact they sent pictures makes me think it's malice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"So here's a scenario to put you. I'm not going to go into much other detail other than what's posted in this question.

The woman with the profile isn't doing anything illegal or wrong and is old enough to have photos like this. Obviously you would probably rather not see them though.

So my question is do you think the guy sending the message was being malicious or shit stirring sending it in the first place?

Hope that makes sense

"
has the person sending you the pics sought the permision of the owner of the pics to re send them ?

is that not a revenge porn and a crime now ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can genuinely never understand why people don't approach the person rather than their friend/parent/partner unless they have an ulterior motive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"So here's a scenario to put you. I'm not going to go into much other detail other than what's posted in this question.

The woman with the profile isn't doing anything illegal or wrong and is old enough to have photos like this. Obviously you would probably rather not see them though.

So my question is do you think the guy sending the message was being malicious or shit stirring sending it in the first place?

Hope that makes sense

has the person sending you the pics sought the permision of the owner of the pics to re send them ?

is that not a revenge porn and a crime now ?

That's something I hadn't really considered but I don't really know the rules around that. I'm not going to report it as she obviously has pics out there willingly and she would probably be very embarrassed if she knew I'd seen some of them. It's definitely something to bear in mind though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can genuinely never understand why people don't approach the person rather than their friend/parent/partner unless they have an ulterior motive."

Why do they need to approach the person either? I don't understand why it's anyone elses business what an adult does as long as it's legal.

Pxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So here's a scenario to put you. I'm not going to go into much other detail other than what's posted in this question.

The woman with the profile isn't doing anything illegal or wrong and is old enough to have photos like this. Obviously you would probably rather not see them though.

So my question is do you think the guy sending the message was being malicious or shit stirring sending it in the first place?

Hope that makes sense

has the person sending you the pics sought the permision of the owner of the pics to re send them ?

is that not a revenge porn and a crime now ?

Can be and also depends on what site it is

And depending on what the person has ticked they could also be subject to copy written laws

And lost revenue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I can genuinely never understand why people don't approach the person rather than their friend/parent/partner unless they have an ulterior motive.

Why do they need to approach the person either? I don't understand why it's anyone elses business what an adult does as long as it's legal.

Pxx"

You make a good point. A genuinely concerned person might enquire as to their welfare I suppose.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itty Kat ABWoman
over a year ago

North Somerset

Shit stirring.. put yourself in your family members shoes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Shit stirring.. put yourself in your family members shoes

Her shoes definitely won't fit me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help."

That is the site yes.

And I agree with that. I thought it anyway but this thread has confirmed it. I'd prefer him to be cunty about it though so I could properly call him out instead of acting like 'I'm just trying to help'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help.

That is the site yes.

I know plenty of people like that. Thankfully I've cut them all out of my life.

She's doing no harm, making good money, don't know her relation to you.

She's an adult and can do what she likes, if we knew alot about people's sexlives we'd be shocked.

You know you were right in what you thought, I'd say it to him when you're calmer face to face.

Do mention he can be suied and prosecutedfor resending those pics with the law now, doubt it'll make him think about what he's done.

Definitely after give him a wide birth.

Don't cut all contact with him as dangerous people like that you need to keep an eye on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help.

That is the site yes.

He's using the 'only trying to help' to prevent you getting annoyed with him. Just tell him in future to go to her with his concerns as you already know all about her activities (even if you don't)

An ex of our daughter's tried to tell us what she was 'really like'. He shut up when we said we already knew.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help.

That is the site yes.

He's using the 'only trying to help' to prevent you getting annoyed with him. Just tell him in future to go to her with his concerns as you already know all about her activities (even if you don't)

An ex of our daughter's tried to tell us what she was 'really like'. He shut up when we said we already knew. "

I have actually already said I know about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Auntie Wendi view is.

If they where really concerned why didn't he see you in person and say this rather in a text.

What other people do is no one else's business. From what you said this is the fan site we all know we can't say.

A great quote from Rupaul.

Mama said "Unless they gonna pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind"

He's shit staring, its a classic passive aggressive move, then they do the infamous I was only trying to help.

That is the site yes.

He's using the 'only trying to help' to prevent you getting annoyed with him. Just tell him in future to go to her with his concerns as you already know all about her activities (even if you don't)

An ex of our daughter's tried to tell us what she was 'really like'. He shut up when we said we already knew.

I have actually already said I know about it"

Shot him down in flames really then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Its malicious and a form of outing meant to harass, cause embarrassment and distress.

As long as no laws are being broken, or there are no safeguarding concerns then what this person gets up to is their own business. If the sender had a concern he could contact them directly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other view here is somewhat darker. If it's the site I think it is, you don't accidentally come across people by chance. You need to know who you are looking for and know the name etc. How did this guy get hold of this relatives profile name/tags?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"The other view here is somewhat darker. If it's the site I think it is, you don't accidentally come across people by chance. You need to know who you are looking for and know the name etc. How did this guy get hold of this relatives profile name/tags?"

I'm assuming it's the same site, can't mention the sites name but it's the first one that comes to mind. I don't really know how that site works to be honest and don't know how he would have profile details etc, I assumed you just search local area or something.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit like this makes my piss itch. People need to keep their noses out of other people's business.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

"Shit like this makes my piss itch. People need to keep their noses out of other people's business."

Actually you know what I totally agree. Even it is done with good intentions (which I doubt), why get involved? Just stay out of other people's business

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t think of any other reason to be doing that in the situation you describe where it isn’t a safeguarding/welfare issue

This

Though OP the only person that knows the answer to your question is the one that sent the message.

Try and suss out their motives.

Depends on who the woman is and their relation status to you.

If it's a non blood relative maybe he thought you'd find it horny. Some men seem to love sharing pics and discussing 'naughty scenarios'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"So here's a scenario to put you. I'm not going to go into much other detail other than what's posted in this question.

The woman with the profile isn't doing anything illegal or wrong and is old enough to have photos like this. Obviously you would probably rather not see them though.

So my question is do you think the guy sending the message was being malicious or shit stirring sending it in the first place?

Hope that makes sense

Yeah the guy is a dickhead. I would ignore or just reply stating I am not intersting in knowing what porn they get off on and to get a life / grow up with sending pointless messages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Part of me feels if there was any element of safeguarding then the guy wouldn’t have copied and shared photos. Therefore my conclusion is that he’s shit stirring. What a see you next Tuesday

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Just ignore them. Sounds like they are lacking something in their life and trying to stir it up with the messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever his reasoning the blokes a dickhead. If the family member is an adult and isn’t doing anything illegal then it is none of your or his business.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

If she was under age or doing something illegal, I'd understand the concern.

I'm not sure why this would be shared though. If I was concerned about a situation I'd act on it, not share it with all and sundry.

Not under age.

Not doing anything illegal.

Not a safeguarding issue.

Not my monkey, not my circus.

Winston

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It sounds to me like he is just stirring shite and actually trying to embarrass the person who has the account in the worst way possible more than likely because he has been turned down or something along those lines. He sounds like a nasty piece of work if I am honest especially as he sent pics. If he was genuinely concerned he would not have done that. That is done for one reason and that's to embarrass her and try and stir shite for her.

And how he can sit in judgement when he is on whatever site it is himself reeks of hypocrisy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

My response would have been thanks for letting me know, I'll remind her she needs to be safe because there are a lot of creepy and dangerous men online. I'll tell her you were concerned about her safety.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"My response would have been thanks for letting me know, I'll remind her she needs to be safe because there are a lot of creepy and dangerous men online. I'll tell her you were concerned about her safety."

Concerned enough to screenshot her photos and send them to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aui. OP Man
over a year ago

around here

Thanks for all the input everyone. I was pretty much in the he's doing it to be an ass, camp anyway. You guys have confirmed that though.

I am wondering if I do need to have a word with her and tell her to be a bit wary of people and maybe especially him?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats my point, there's no ability to search areas etc, only profile names. He'd need to know who he was looking for rather than accidentally coming across them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had similar with someone in my extended family sending pics to me they found of my ex wife trying to stir it, didn't like it when just asked them why they was looking there and whose cock did they think she was enjoying!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would thank him for his concern and for bringing this to your attention whilst CC’ing his wife.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I would thank him for his concern and for bringing this to your attention whilst CC’ing his wife. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dramalama. Some people like drama, it’s just how it is is op. … and it’s up to you if you want to get involved.

Op. I’ve found ways in how to avoid it, I just point out how they are hypocrites and in no way innocent in anyway.

*referring to people I have trying to ruin my life. But may help you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are no nice reasons for him to send the photos. Best case is he's a judgemental hypocrite - judgemental nevis he feels it's his place to comment on what she does and hypocritical because he was looking there in the first place.

From there we can go through a list of reasons starting with shit stirring and taking in wierd fantasies about sharing naked photos with family members.

My personal reaction would be to tell him

A) there was no need for him to send you these naked pics.

B) If he doesn't think women should sell this type of pic then don't go on sites like that, if he thinks it's OK then grow the fuck up and accept that one of those women could be family or friend.

C) By sending the photos to you he is guilty of 'Disclosing private sexual images without consent, contrary to section 33 Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015' and you'll be reporting him to the police for doing so.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread