FabSwingers.com forum: If you don’t want to go....

By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

There have been many occasions where I have been invited to go out socially where I really didn’t fancy going for whatever reason e.g tiredness, not really my kind of crowd, my kind of thing etc etc. but I never say I just don’t want to go as have always been worried about causing offence so I always end up making up some poor excuse as to why I can’t go.

What do you do to get out of going somewhere when you don’t want to go ?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I just say I'm busy.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thanks a lot for the invitation but I can't make it this time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s nothing worse than dragging me along to something I didn’t want to got to. My energy is drained just trying to email and make small talk. People who know me will know, my bag of sarcasm is empty by the end of it all.

I just say I don’t want to go or make excuses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say I'm washing my hair ...

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

Yeah all good answers, thing is if o say I’m busy, most of the people I know will ask me what I’m doing, they’re that nosy! And rude really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah all good answers, thing is if o say I’m busy, most of the people I know will ask me what I’m doing, they’re that nosy! And rude really."

Why, what are you doing?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Yeah all good answers, thing is if o say I’m busy, most of the people I know will ask me what I’m doing, they’re that nosy! And rude really."

My nosy social friends will get a aubergine emoji and that normally stops the conversation as they then make their own assumptions

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

"Yeah all good answers, thing is if o say I’m busy, most of the people I know will ask me what I’m doing, they’re that nosy! And rude really.

My nosy social friends will get a aubergine emoji and that normally stops the conversation as they then make their own assumptions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a blunt, brutal honesty. My replies are usually.... fuck off, no way I'm going there.

Who's going? The fuck im going if they're there.

And I have blanket "don't even ask me" policies for weddings, funerals, christenings, hospital, school shows or prison visits.

Get me out of a lot of awkward situations.

My brother has spent the last 5 years trying to get me to visit his house. I ask him "are the kids home? Then no"

I spend so much of my day having to "use my filter" I don't want to have to use it in my down time.

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

Why won’t you go and see your brother if the kids are there ? But good for you for not messing about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why won’t you go and see your brother if the kids are there ? But good for you for not messing about."

One of my brothers kids became a mum last year. He announced to me "Nads, you're a great aunt now" to which I replied "Bruv, I wasn't even a good one to start with"

I work at school during the week, last thing I want to do when I'm not working is be around other peoples kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why won’t you go and see your brother if the kids are there ? But good for you for not messing about.

One of my brothers kids became a mum last year. He announced to me "Nads, you're a great aunt now" to which I replied "Bruv, I wasn't even a good one to start with"

I work at school during the week, last thing I want to do when I'm not working is be around other peoples kids.

Horrible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why won’t you go and see your brother if the kids are there ? But good for you for not messing about.

One of my brothers kids became a mum last year. He announced to me "Nads, you're a great aunt now" to which I replied "Bruv, I wasn't even a good one to start with"

I work at school during the week, last thing I want to do when I'm not working is be around other peoples kids.

Horrible "

Then why comment?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I tend to make the effort if it’s people I care about , I think it’s important. Unless I’ve already committed to doing something else , then I might try and sweep by for an hour.

If it’s just work colleagues or people I don’t care too much about & Id rather not go I just say no, no need to give a reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a blunt, brutal honesty. My replies are usually.... fuck off, no way I'm going there.

Who's going? The fuck im going if they're there.

And I have blanket "don't even ask me" policies for weddings, funerals, christenings, hospital, school shows or prison visits.

Get me out of a lot of awkward situations.

My brother has spent the last 5 years trying to get me to visit his house. I ask him "are the kids home? Then no"

I spend so much of my day having to "use my filter" I don't want to have to use it in my down time.

Prison visits.

I like your style. You have to look out for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah all good answers, thing is if o say I’m busy, most of the people I know will ask me what I’m doing, they’re that nosy! And rude really."

I hate when people ask personal questions like that. I think at that point I'd just say I'm tired and may have covid.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

I just say no thanks. If pressed as to why I simply ignore it or just state because I have zero interest in going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a blunt, brutal honesty. My replies are usually.... fuck off, no way I'm going there.

Who's going? The fuck im going if they're there.

And I have blanket "don't even ask me" policies for weddings, funerals, christenings, hospital, school shows or prison visits.

Get me out of a lot of awkward situations.

My brother has spent the last 5 years trying to get me to visit his house. I ask him "are the kids home? Then no"

I spend so much of my day having to "use my filter" I don't want to have to use it in my down time.

Prison visits.

I like your style. You have to look out for yourself.

When my brother and best friend were serving I wrote to them everyday so they new I cared. I just didn't want to see them in a cage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to get worried about letting people down which always caused me yet more anxiety.. but as I've got older I realise that others aren't as bothered as i am if I don't want to go somewhere so I just tell them outright I can't be bothered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a blunt, brutal honesty. My replies are usually.... fuck off, no way I'm going there.

Who's going? The fuck im going if they're there.

And I have blanket "don't even ask me" policies for weddings, funerals, christenings, hospital, school shows or prison visits.

Get me out of a lot of awkward situations.

My brother has spent the last 5 years trying to get me to visit his house. I ask him "are the kids home? Then no"

I spend so much of my day having to "use my filter" I don't want to have to use it in my down time.

Prison visits.

I like your style. You have to look out for yourself.

When my brother and best friend were serving I wrote to them everyday so they new I cared. I just didn't want to see them in a cage.

Ahh shit sorry I thought you were joking. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell them it’s not your thing or that you have a meet planned with somebody you’ve meet on fabswingers

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I go to invites from very close friends but that’s all.

I just say I’m busy and if they ask what I’m doing I say ‘I don’t know yet but I’ll think of something’.

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I used to get worried about letting people down which always caused me yet more anxiety.. but as I've got older I realise that others aren't as bothered as i am if I don't want to go somewhere so I just tell them outright I can't be bothered "

Yep, this was 100% me. Even yesterday I told a friend I couldn’t go out a couple of weekends from now (just saw him last week) and he threw a little hissy fit. F sake why can’t people just accept that not everyone wants to do what they want to do and move on.

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I go to invites from very close friends but that’s all.

I just say I’m busy and if they ask what I’m doing I say ‘I don’t know yet but I’ll think of something’. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a blunt, brutal honesty. My replies are usually.... fuck off, no way I'm going there.

Who's going? The fuck im going if they're there.

And I have blanket "don't even ask me" policies for weddings, funerals, christenings, hospital, school shows or prison visits.

Get me out of a lot of awkward situations.

My brother has spent the last 5 years trying to get me to visit his house. I ask him "are the kids home? Then no"

I spend so much of my day having to "use my filter" I don't want to have to use it in my down time.

Prison visits.

I like your style. You have to look out for yourself.

When my brother and best friend were serving I wrote to them everyday so they new I cared. I just didn't want to see them in a cage.

Ahh shit sorry I thought you were joking. Xx

Hey they were teenage scumbags lol. The policies were in place from wayyyy back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like tonight work asked me to go out for colleagues leaving do

I’m honest so I said

Why would I go out with colleague when I don’t like him he’s a lazy little twat

Good Riddance

So that’s a no from me

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

I just say it doesn't interest me. Not having to make up an excuse is so much easier.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I find having no friends makes it easier to deal with these types of situations

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I tell the truth, all of my friends know that I have a lot of social anxiety and fairly limited energy and that I'm rarely more than a maybe.

One of the few perks of being brutally honest around my mental health is my friends tend to be understanding to how much of a struggle I find many aspects of life. I used to name all manner of excuses though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just tell them I don’t want to go and offer no excuse at all.

Dora believes that I may have a touch of the sociopath about me.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

If there's no cake

involved then folk know not to ask

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Sorry I can’t make it, Tag restrictions mean I have to be home by 7pm

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Appreciate the invite but I'm not in the best headspace.

Appreciate the invite but I'm skint.

Both are true when I say them.

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By *awtybikerMan
over a year ago

Barnoldswick

I just say I’m working, being a shift worker has its advantages, as most of my friends and family never know when I’m working or not.

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By *oger Thrice-KnightlyMan
over a year ago

Wigan

You should always go to other people's funerals... otherwise they won't go to yours!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I just say it's not my kind of thing, or I'll see how I feel.

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