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Confidence deflater

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield

So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Then people wonder why men don't like sending a face pic first.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

I’d say don’t take it to heart but I’d feel the same. Sorry that happened to you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See it as a lucky escape from someone with an ugly personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See it as a lucky escape from someone with an ugly personality. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

they are projecting themselves

thoughts like that go in the fuckit bucket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Not as bad as getting I don't meet old dogs....which I got about ten years ago...God knows what she'd say now lol

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you? "

I'm not really though. Like I say the old read but not replied I've learnt to take on here. But that's someone actively going out there way to complain about the looks of guys who've sent her face pics and confirming to me my belief that I'm an ugly bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See it as a lucky escape from someone with an ugly personality. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

Ouch!!!

Funny but ouch!

Bet she wouldn’t be in your fab top 10 though mate, thing is the ratio inflates SOME women’s view of themselves and they believe that they attract the cream of the crop, and in all likelihood in the real world they definitely wouldn’t.

Note to all women I said SOME!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you? "

Not everyone is and it can knock people's confidence.

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally

Ouch!!!

Funny but ouch!

Bet she wouldn’t be in your fab top 10 though mate, thing is the ratio inflates SOME women’s view of themselves and they believe that they attract the cream of the crop, and in all likelihood in the real world they definitely wouldn’t.

Note to all women I said SOME!"

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Block them so you don't see future status updates OP.

It is hard not to take it personally and I'd probably feel the same way. Don't let it get you down for long though

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

It's a shitty status to post, but just ignore it, OP. She may have been referring to other people anyway, not that it makes it any better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lucky escape. You really don't want to meet anybody like her. Far too many of the women on here have inflated egos and opinions of themselves because there are so many guys trying to connect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This can be a tough site to be on, try not to take things personally from complete strangers x

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Can’t deflate what I don’t have

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By *moothpussyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal-looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

OP, you're a very, very handsome man! I know it's hurt you and that's understandable. However, I think you may have a touch of low self-esteem, perhaps try building that up. I will say it again, you're a beautiful man.

As others have said, you've had a lucky escape from someone with a very ugly personality. Xxx

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

That’s really shit. It’s easy for people to say don’t take it personally but I can see how that would affect someone’s confidence. I’m pretty thick skinned but it would probably get it to me a bit too. Like someone said before a lot of people think they’re the bees knees on here and expect people to jump through hoops for them. Would you want to meet someone like that?

And for what it’s worth I think you’re a good looking guy.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Personally, I think you look great and most certainly not deserving of that kind of status update, which makes me think it did not relate to you but somebody else.

Does that make it ok? Not in my world. I cannot understand people wanting to undermine other people's confidence regardless of what they look like or how they present. I just do not get it.

OP, move on to more deserving people! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That’s really shit. It’s easy for people to say don’t take it personally but I can see how that would affect someone’s confidence. I’m pretty thick skinned but it would probably get it to me a bit too. Like someone said before a lot of people think they’re the bees knees on here and expect people to jump through hoops for them. Would you want to meet someone like that?

And for what it’s worth I think you’re a good looking guy. "

Nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That’s really shit. It’s easy for people to say don’t take it personally but I can see how that would affect someone’s confidence. I’m pretty thick skinned but it would probably get it to me a bit too. Like someone said before a lot of people think they’re the bees knees on here and expect people to jump through hoops for them. Would you want to meet someone like that?

And for what it’s worth I think you’re a good looking guy. "

bit like women not picking you eh Nora

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Some people are shit!

I was told this morning that I shouldn’t list myself as “athletic” when I’ve never seen the inside of a gym!

I just laughed

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I put face pic on my profile people stopped messaging. Can't change the way my face looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you?

I'm not really though. Like I say the old read but not replied I've learnt to take on here. But that's someone actively going out there way to complain about the looks of guys who've sent her face pics and confirming to me my belief that I'm an ugly bastard"

You look like Jamie Dornan. You're not ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lucky escape. You really don't want to meet anybody like her. Far too many of the women on here have inflated egos and opinions of themselves because there are so many guys trying to connect."

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

I'd be miffed if that happened to me. You look a lot like my nephew who I obviously think a lovely looking man.

It's probably no comfort but we sent face photos to someone once and they immediately deleted their profile.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"That’s really shit. It’s easy for people to say don’t take it personally but I can see how that would affect someone’s confidence. I’m pretty thick skinned but it would probably get it to me a bit too. Like someone said before a lot of people think they’re the bees knees on here and expect people to jump through hoops for them. Would you want to meet someone like that?

And for what it’s worth I think you’re a good looking guy.

bit like women not picking you eh Nora "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you?

I'm not really though. Like I say the old read but not replied I've learnt to take on here. But that's someone actively going out there way to complain about the looks of guys who've sent her face pics and confirming to me my belief that I'm an ugly bastard"

Yeah but you're not.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

OP here's a few thoughts.

Whilst it's a shitty status to upload and who says they're particularly attractive themselves.......here's the crunch.

There's no guarantee it was aimed at you. They may have had 100 messages with photos taken so badly they could have been shot using a potato and a lens covered in used engine oil, from people who looked more like Sloth from The Goonies than Brad Pitt and the status was in fact referring to them and not you. Never take anything you see personally. Unless it's specifically directed at you. And then don't take it personally either if you've done nothing to deserve a negative comment. They're just words on a screen.

And its always worth remembering this.

Just because you feel you fit the criteria set out in their profile it doesn't mean that you do.

It might not have been your face photo that resulted in no reply. It could have been something in your message, your profile or your other photos.

You're making an assumption that it was your face with no actual evidence and that creates a self fulfilling prophecy.

Block them, move on and don't give it a second thought.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah right, well don't worry about it mate - a lot of people don't really care about face either, they're just interested in body or dick so don't let it get you down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t let getting you down get in the way of getting it up seems the overall message

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you?

I'm not really though. Like I say the old read but not replied I've learnt to take on here. But that's someone actively going out there way to complain about the looks of guys who've sent her face pics and confirming to me my belief that I'm an ugly bastard

You look like Jamie Dornan. You're not ugly. "

Yes! I see this too

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

That is awful and uncalled for. I have seen a few terrible messages that men are sent from women on here yet it always the men who get slated on fab.

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I feel ya, it can be a major confidence buster. I had one message back recently with “nah too fat for me”.

Keep ya chin up and know for every twunt on here, there’s dozens of decent folk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That why I'm cautious of who I hotlist and what statuses I read. It will drive you crazy trying to find people's logic on here. I've seen a guy seeking redheaded, mature, tattooed BBW but hasn't messaged me. I'm inthat ugly?!!!

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

It would knock my confidence as well, and has happened to me the other way round, status from a man but much more scathing. Easy to say don't take it personally. Yet there are many others who do seem to find me attractive. So, I have to take it with a pinch of salt. We can't all be attracted to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think that nearly all of us have had something like that happen at least once on here. It's hard not to dwell on it and feel hurt, but nobody is right for everyone.

If you lived closer to me and sent me a face photo, I'd be giving you my phone number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always best to take a step away from fab when our confidence takes a hit. You’re more than a face pic, pictured on a swingers site. Never forget that. When you feel confident and great in yourself, you will attract great things xx

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You can’t not take it personally, but you need to try and shake it off.

I know how it feels, and even now 2 years later I still joke about the comment we got about being ugly. But fuck em, they wouldn’t have been a good meet anyway, but it stung when we got it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That speaks volumes about the kind of person they are. Fair enough everyone has different tastes but to put that on your status knowing it will offend people who have taken the time to message you just shows what kind of person they are. Not nice at all.

Lucky escape op, you’re very handsome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That’s really shit. It’s easy for people to say don’t take it personally but I can see how that would affect someone’s confidence. I’m pretty thick skinned but it would probably get it to me a bit too. Like someone said before a lot of people think they’re the bees knees on here and expect people to jump through hoops for them. Would you want to meet someone like that?

And for what it’s worth I think you’re a good looking guy. "

What Nora said

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

OP, I hope you're taking confidence from all the replies (I'd take Jamie Dornan and run with it!!), and hopefully they outweigh the dent from that still shitty status update!

Chin up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

maybe we should just have thicker skin

*this is probably somewhere around in fab today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pronouns

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By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow


"So I sent someone on here a face pic yesterday, local, in their age range etc, and it go read but no reply. That's fair enough, they're obviously not interested, these things happen. But then today that same person had a status about the quality of men they were receiving messages from and asking why they couldn't get messages from decent or at least normal looking men. Hard not to take that one personally "

May not have meant you and they are generalising. These types of comments usually come from those who don’t own mirrors for a reason. Don’t fret just keep going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it was the message you sent with it.

*sips tea*

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Maybe it was the message you sent with it.

*sips tea*"

Literally just sent a face pic and a message saying how are you and tried to tailor it to what they'd said in their profile. I know I sent you a message the other day that was too sexual and I apologised for that. But that wasn't the case this time

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield

Thanks for the messages saying I'm good looking and the ones saying I look a bit like Jamie Dornan. Don't see it myself but I'll definitely take it. Like others said just got to grow a thicker skin on here and not take things too personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have no way of knowing this was about you. She could have literally just recieved a few really wierd requests/photos and forgotten that she'd deleted yours by mistake when the postie knocked.

We all view the world from inside our own head so we are always the main character in the movie we call life and find it easy to forget that in everyone elses we're often barely more than an extra blurred out in the background.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be glad she wasn’t interested. Putting a status up like that shows what’s she’s like xJx

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

It's just preferences.....

We can't be attracted to everyone.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Block them op so they don't appear in future searches. Don't take it personally, I am sure there is someone out there for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe it was the message you sent with it.

*sips tea*

Literally just sent a face pic and a message saying how are you and tried to tailor it to what they'd said in their profile. I know I sent you a message the other day that was too sexual and I apologised for that. But that wasn't the case this time "

I have less of a problem with overtly sexual messages, than I do with creepy ones =)

Self-awareness is the first step to confidence

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

You should be glad lucky escape.

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Maybe it was the message you sent with it.

*sips tea*

Literally just sent a face pic and a message saying how are you and tried to tailor it to what they'd said in their profile. I know I sent you a message the other day that was too sexual and I apologised for that. But that wasn't the case this time

I have less of a problem with overtly sexual messages, than I do with creepy ones =)

Self-awareness is the first step to confidence "

Literally no idea what you're on about. I apologised at the time and afterwards. You're the one who's come onto a thread that has nothing to do with that and literally brought it up again. Maybe take your own advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are on here to meet, some people are on here for the fantasy of meeting, both male and female.

If they're being rude to others then they're here as the latter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not a nice status to put up, it’s cruel we all have different tastes but certainly no reason to be nasty.

However sitting on the fence some people won’t except a polite no Thankyou or not for us reply

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Maybe your message wasn't very good.

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By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"If you're happy with your looks, why would someone else's opinion bother you?

I'm not really though. Like I say the old read but not replied I've learnt to take on here. But that's someone actively going out there way to complain about the looks of guys who've sent her face pics and confirming to me my belief that I'm an ugly bastard

You look like Jamie Dornan. You're not ugly. "

I knew he reminded me of somebody!

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By *osephSamuel90 OP   Man
over a year ago

Warfield


"Maybe your message wasn't very good. "

I said sent the face pic asked them how they are and tailored the message to match their profile. Granted the message could have been shit to them, but does that negate the fact they basically called the men messaging them ugly? It wasn't a status saying 'stop sending me weird messages' it was literally why can't i have normal or decent looking men message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe your message wasn't very good.

I said sent the face pic asked them how they are and tailored the message to match their profile. Granted the message could have been shit to them, but does that negate the fact they basically called the men messaging them ugly? It wasn't a status saying 'stop sending me weird messages' it was literally why can't i have normal or decent looking men message me"

On the plus side fella you have some cracking looking women complimenting you on this thread!

And i agree its shitty but again there are some inflated egos being fanned by sheer numbers of men on here.

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