FabSwingers.com forum: What is your best insult without using curse words

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm glad you think highly of yourself. Someone has to.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You spoon

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Tosser

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Bus wankers

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Not mine, Mary Eisenhower, who was known as 'Mamie', was once introduced to Senator Joseph McCarthy, who called her 'Mamie'. She replied "Senator McCarthy, my maid calls me Mamie, the cop outside the White House calls me Mamie and the man who collects my trash calls me Mamie. You may call me Mrs Eisenhower".

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remen a comedian said. I thought I told you to stay in the car and bark at dogs’

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cuntywanksplat

I swear

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother was ao fat her arse needed two postcodes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Douche bag

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ediat.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or peasant!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or arse wipe

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ennysouthMan
over a year ago

Coventry

You move like an injured slug

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Bus wankers"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They threw the best bit away at birth when you were born

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You human question mark

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother should have swallowed

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Not much use in the UK but over the pond they say "You're not being the person Mr. Rogers said you could be"

Cuts like a knife around Pittsburgh apparently

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

You Boris.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did your parents use scaffolding, I've never crap stacked so high

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey laser lips, your mama was a snowblower

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wank stain

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Numpty

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

The Bard gave us so many, these are some favourites…

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!

and just to prove that Shakespeare was way ahead of his time, this from Titus Andronicus

Villain, I have done thy mother.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"Or arse wipe "

Haven’t heard that for years!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries "

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal-food-trough wiper

Love Monty Python

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

Bless your heart

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Bard gave us so many, these are some favourites…

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!

and just to prove that Shakespeare was way ahead of his time, this from Titus Andronicus

Villain, I have done thy mother.

For which came the reply, "you mother f****r!"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cockwomble still my favourite and I know a few

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/22 19:58:25]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ve got teeth like a broken bag of quavers

Your mum has feet like a seagull

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oeBiggs321Man
over a year ago

Reading

I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

I can explain It to you, but I can’t understand it for you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"You’ve got teeth like a broken bag of quavers

Your mum has feet like a seagull "
love that feet like a seagull

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Darling...Awesome is definitely not the word...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Tool

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Darling...Awesome is definitely not the word..."

But I am awesome

ha ha

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tool

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Ya balloon

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather have a wank love!

Please note I've never said that but a friend has and I was secretly howling!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

As Kevin bloody Wilson once said D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twonk

Eejit

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp"

Or licking piss off a nettle

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

"Give my kindest regards to your mother......!"

Whilst giving them the friendliest of smiles I can muster up followed by a very warm but polite wave.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Best part of him/her went down his/her’s dad’s leg.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/22 21:12:49]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should of been a stain on the sheet, or this is why women should swallow.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *tinerant scribeMan
over a year ago

County Durham

May a fish find your backwaters.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

If you were any thicker, you'd clot...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet you rotate the square on Tetris

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet your family tree is a wreath.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once said to an old boss that I couldn't believe he was the quickest and smartest and must have been IVF.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the Dutch call people pancakes if they really want to slag them off.

Without swear words - oxygen thief is fairly succinct.

Wanna go childish old skool - Doofus or Chimp

If they are slightly intelligent then imbecile works well - ironically not so well on actual imbeciles because they won't know what it means

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iking 777Man
over a year ago

wick

You are a waste of your mother's milk

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also what's your village doing for an idiot now you've moved here

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iking 777Man
over a year ago

wick

Did you put it in your diary to get on my tits today

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

You son of a motherless goat!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Philistine….or I just ignore and walk away. Silence works a treat

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you had a lot of practice to become this stupid?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

when a bloke asked me if i liked his castoff(i was seeing his ex)i replied well the first 2 inches are a bit worn but the next 6 are virgin teritory

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

the other great put down is

doesnt your village miss you ?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oam_ShrimpsCouple
over a year ago

NEC Arden

I wish we could become better strangers

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ambozaMan
over a year ago

kilburn park

Soap dodger

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Douche bag "

Douche canoe

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

[Removed by poster at 03/05/22 22:47:48]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

And you're the sperm that won the race

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Sir - thou art a nincompoop and a Saddlegoose!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath

Shame really you sound so nice on the phone,you be ok

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can slowly feel my brain cells doing a synchronised dive off a cliff

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Tosser "

•

I'd be careful with that one.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far too many of these in the Scottish language to even begin.

Dabber, nugget, bawbag just to name a few

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got called a windowsill

Mix between window licker and imbecile

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

So you aimed low & kept digging!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

"If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

I can explain It to you, but I can’t understand it for you"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *torm in a G cupWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

"Hey laser lips, your mama was a snowblower

Number 5 is alive

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

"I wish we could become better strangers"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ambozaMan
over a year ago

kilburn park

Numpty

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your not my type I prefer anyone but you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *dd_soxMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Are you naturally rude* or does it require practice?

*insert your choice of insult here

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had a brain cell you would be twice as daft.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who put 50p in you?

You're like a chocolate fireguard

Wow! Whilst staring at them

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you…..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

You waste of an orgasm.

You've not got a birth certificate: you've got a written apology from DUREX™.

Oxygen thief.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

You absolute pillock

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey laser lips, your mama was a snowblower

Classic short circuit

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

[Removed by poster at 04/05/22 06:44:06]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont generally insult people, if you give them a long enough rope, theyll hang themselves!

I tend to go with sarcasm, works a treat. But it does depend on the situation.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. Not sure where that originated but always like it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

You're the reason they put instructions on shampoo.

I have neither the time or the crayons to explain it to you.

I could agree with you but then we would both be wrong

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *edheadjMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go forth and multiply!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

sarcasm thats quite a step up for you mind you dont get a nose bleed.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete unread ….

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Your life has been a complete waste of sperm and egg

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aked AngelMan
over a year ago

Hampshire / Surrey

Mark the position of your bones cos I am going to mix them!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *r imp miss minxCouple
over a year ago

Colchester

Twunt.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your arse must be jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It’s a battle of wits and your unarmed…

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"You're the reason they put instructions on shampoo.

I have neither the time or the crayons to explain it to you.

I could agree with you but then we would both be wrong

^^Stealing ^^

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Your arse must be jealous because of all thr shit that comes out your mouth x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't engage in mental combat with someone so unarmed x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

You sound reasonable....must be time to up my medication x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've a face like a slapped arse

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *otBrunetteHimCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

Weapon

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

You’re a bigger disappointment than the Cruxifixction.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside

Knobjockey!

You're as much use as a chocolate teapot!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

They named a town after you - Leatherhead.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer da sells avon

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should of been swallowed

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rishsteveMan
over a year ago

carlow

Being thick is a privilege but you abuse that privilege

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

You piltchard

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must be in a constant state of bliss, as you know what they say.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *essicagraceWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Stop being such an expired jar of mayonnaise

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Numbnuts

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should of been swallowed

I’ve used that a few times

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell your mum she can keep the change next time

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

You’re so old, when you were a child even the rainbows were in black and white.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

I have a few. Surprisingly none involved the word cunt.

I'm not saying your ugly, but it looks like you've been bobbing for chips in a deep fat frier.

When the good lord was dishing out the looks, did you think he said books and ask for something by Stephen King.

If brains was rope you would have enough to hogtie a mouse.

If brains were canvas you wouldn't have enough to make spats for a budgie.

"Ooooh, I've just had a thought....."

"Let's hope it doesn't die of loneliness"

"Something just crossed my mind....."

"Not a long journey"

Winston

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

You've a head like a melted Wellington

The tide wouldn't take you out

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

I hope when you go to sleep tonight both side of your pillow are warm!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

She’s so ugly, she looks like her face was on fire and someone put it out with a shovel.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't justify giving you an insult, I only punch up.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would call you scum, but that's an insult to scum.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x"

Quite sweary

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont generally insult people, if you give them a long enough rope, theyll hang themselves!

I tend to go with sarcasm, works a treat. But it does depend on the situation."

The problem with sarcasm is that stupid people don't get it. Depending on your mind set as to whether that makes it funnier or not

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"If you were any thicker, you'd clot... "

love it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

I would really like to agree with you, but then we would both be wrong

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

I know both your kids are 3 years apart, I just thought they might be twins as i can't believe someone shagged you twice

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nn_JamesCouple
over a year ago

the

Stop playing hard to get when you're hard to want.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

Quite sweary

I'm Scottish..second nature

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *idsCouple1Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth

"I hope when you go to sleep tonight both side of your pillow are warm! "

This must be reserved for the worst of people!

Imagine a world where only warm pillows existed?!

horrifying!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *cotty1376Man
over a year ago

PRESTON

Your'e so dumb, you share missing dogs on facebook from other countries

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're the unsightly cousin of the cancer on the piles of the arse of humanity.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Pipsqueak is a favourite.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *969Jay6969Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

There are two things that come from Wigan, beautiful women and rugby players……….

What position do you play?

(usually ends with a slap lol)

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

Quite sweary

I'm Scottish..second nature

•

You'll be telling us that you're ginger with green eyes next!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. Not sure where that originated but always like it. "

Chester Zoo???

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow

You’re so low, you could parachute out of a snakes arse …

God wasted a good arsehole putting teeth in your mouth.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

Quite sweary

I'm Scottish..second nature

You must be one of the polite ones.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

Quite sweary

I'm Scottish..second nature

You must be one of the polite ones.

I only used fuck once there....I must be poorly

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart x

Quite sweary

I'm Scottish..second nature

You must be one of the polite ones.

I only used fuck once there....I must be poorly

Aw naw, go and have a lie down. I will send a nurse to look after you.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Dis yer da sell Avon?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

You Donkeys Dick

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ternal PunishmentCouple
over a year ago

The Abyss

You should have been swallowed

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ashful_at_firstMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

An ex-politician insulted one of my staff years back, I interjected on her behalf - "I`m sorry, Mr_______, it seems that just like when in office, you have nothing of substance to say, goodbye"

Worked for me, round of applause from the office!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you stop talking for a moment while I get some toilet paper to wipe your mouth.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah the wit , or at least half of it!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tory.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mother fucker ..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like a before picture.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 04/05/22 15:08:21]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Everybody hates you...

...you must know that from school.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inker67Man
over a year ago

Halifax

Goodbye !

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sir - thou art a nincompoop and a Saddlegoose! "
and a lollygagger at that by had!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Try harder, you've almost achieved half wit level

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moon chicken

Gollums stunt double

Looks like the Stars Wars canteen in here

Face like a bag of smashed crabs

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Buffoon and stop this buffoonery.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rTongueMan
over a year ago

...

I like twp

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rTongueMan
over a year ago

...

The one I heard aimed at me that had me in stitches was

Quick tell the village we found him

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are hard of thinking.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you….."

My favourite

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

I favourite one is, I hope your mum got an apology from the condom factory

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oah VailMan
over a year ago

Dover

Numpty.

You couldn’t run a bath.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

With the greatest respect(fuck you) ...then finish your sentence.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd get more sense out of Donald Trump

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat (gotta thank dodgeball for this one)

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately