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Kink/BDSM Fetsih

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By *ravis1973 OP   Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re not allowed to mention other sites

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Here! Just Browse the Search and tick one of the kinks they give (like blindfolds or spanking) - though better imo is ticking 'SM' as it's the best approximation to 'fetish' and you don't have to search in turn. Not everyone sees that trick though sadly (and they leave SM to what they see as the hardcore), so some people remain hard to find. Also sadly others tick SM (along with everything else) without a clue about what it means.

If Fab wanted to improve their kinky credentials (and they may not want to of course) I would drop SM and add both Fetish and BDSM instead. People are far less likely to just tick them then, and it would be really useful to searchers too. And obviously, people can elaborate on their interests in their profiles!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's definitely not inactive as pretty much all the club events and munches are listed on there and it's how I've kept up with them in 3 different regions in the UK. I've got 181 friends on there and there's only a small handful that I haven't met in person.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"It's definitely not inactive as pretty much all the club events and munches are listed on there and it's how I've kept up with them in 3 different regions in the UK. I've got 181 friends on there and there's only a small handful that I haven't met in person. "

It may not be easy to find and meet people, but its a great site for events and munches which is where you will eventually meet people.

Otherwise this site and using filters.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

FL isn't really like fabs, it's not for messaging people you don't know. It's more for social events and club nights. Get yourself to some of those.

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By *aiseaneyebrowMan
over a year ago

Fylde

In my experience it’s a case of socials. The online world isn’t hugely successful if you’re after in person activity.

It’s a weird area and the dynamics are fraught with cliques.

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By *asycouple777Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Like to try more of this

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Like to try more of this"

--Like people say, the other site is good for advertising gatherings and events (which can be done in the forum here too), but though on here you do have to through profiles working out who giveth and who receiveth (which I forgot to add above, and some people aren't that clear!)... it's still a better place imo because of the numbers here. And for sure it has a less cliquey feeling too (though kink can be like that of course).

Imo our pics are easier to manage here and view too (though neither sites are perfect, the Aff sister-site Alt(aka Bondage) is prob best for that and camming too, but is too expensive for the amount of ppl on it imo.)

So this place wins for me.--

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By *addyandbabyCouple
over a year ago

Bideford


"Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck"

Fet is a networking site. Bdsm can be dangerous if not done right. Not talking about a bit of kink in bedroom. Though that can be worse. Tie in the wrong place, hit in wrong place, with wrong thing..

It is about getting know and events.

Fab is good for light bdsm and kink ( though i know loads of people on both sites).

If quick hook up is what you are after don't do kink. Trust is important.

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

My ‘fetishes’ aren’t listed so I look on other sites, there are active ones if you know where to look

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck"

How the hell did you get F..... past the filters ?

Ive had more meets and made more friends there than fab tbh. True its mostly Americans on there. Alt used to be ok .

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck

How the hell did you get F..... past the filters ?

Ive had more meets and made more friends there than fab tbh. True its mostly Americans on there. Alt used to be ok ."

--Do Fab need to filter FL? FL is free too (with the usual pay option) so is not really a classic advert as such. Fab aren't competitive as such too.

I'm on Alt as well - it's good for arranging photos and a good laugh for camming sometimes (both being free, but it costs too look at profiles), but there's a lot of North Americans on there too (made some friends of them from though.)--

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mention my kinks here and I know other people don't on their profiles. There are some kinky people here but we are all (whispers) underground . I have a FL profile but I can't get to events much so it's kinda pointless.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I don't mention my kinks here and I know other people don't on their profiles. There are some kinky people here but we are all (whispers) underground . I have a FL profile but I can't get to events much so it's kinda pointless. "

-Is that the London undergound?

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck

How the hell did you get F..... past the filters ?

Ive had more meets and made more friends there than fab tbh. True its mostly Americans on there. Alt used to be ok .

--Do Fab need to filter FL? FL is free too (with the usual pay option) so is not really a classic advert as such. Fab aren't competitive as such too.

I'm on Alt as well - it's good for arranging photos and a good laugh for camming sometimes (both being free, but it costs too look at profiles), but there's a lot of North Americans on there too (made some friends of them from though.)--"

Ive not looked at Alt for ages now tbh . Naming websites is banned on fab or at least gets your message blocked. There again photos have rules which i know are applied inconsistently . Munches etc and the whole bdsm community are much more accepting and non judgemental than most people on fab . It might not be a popular thing to say but its definitely true in my experience .

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By *ubmissive guyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think the UK is crying out for a decent, fetish friendly site. Like FAB but for kinksters FL is useless and if you do find someone local. You click on there profile and they havent been online for `10 years. A lot of people suggest clubs and munches, but not everyone, is confident enough for that and think they travel miles and just sit in the corner on there own all night There used to be a few decent UK fetish sites and they were free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mention my kinks here and I know other people don't on their profiles. There are some kinky people here but we are all (whispers) underground . I have a FL profile but I can't get to events much so it's kinda pointless.

-Is that the London undergound?"

Shush!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd forgotten about alt to be honest. I think I came away because I was being contacted by AB's and kinksters in the USA too much.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Re munches etc (what FL is best for), I've thought about them but I'm just not much of a scenester and I tend to play solo too. I'm sure they could be fun though.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Can anyone recommend a really good free or reasonably priced UK fetish site, where people actually meet. 'FetLife' is ridiculously inactive not had any luck

Fet is a networking site. Bdsm can be dangerous if not done right. Not talking about a bit of kink in bedroom. Though that can be worse. Tie in the wrong place, hit in wrong place, with wrong thing..

It is about getting know and events.

Fab is good for light bdsm and kink ( though i know loads of people on both sites).

If quick hook up is what you are after don't do kink. Trust is important."

This. I would be very reluctant to do a lot of BDSM with someone I met off the Internet for precisely this reason. If people aren't willing to go to events, that's absolutely fine but that also tells me that their BDSM knowledge likely just comes from the Internet rather than any in person learning from experienced people and that doesn't feel safe to me. If someone can prove to me they have sought proper, private tuition as an alternative then I might consider it but it depends who that was from.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

There is another app, but I found it was mostly being used for casual dating and 3sums, didn't come across many genuine kinky people and you had to pay to see who's liked you etc. Also began with an F

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Some random thoughts.

For some their BDSM is entwined with sex, which is fine. But if you are single man in effect looking for a sexual encounter with your kink that does not make you any different from all the other single men looking for a hook up. I suspect that women in the kink scene get suspicious of men that promote themselves as skilled kinksters but those men seem more interested in sex than kink.

On a separate point, I have also always maintained there are very competent serious kinksters on Fab.

Another issue is that people on Fab and elsewhere looking for competent kinksters have to go through a load of chaff to get to the wheat and don't always find wheat.

In regard to another point, my own view is tha there are also a significant number of people who don't do public kink and who are competent. For example a couple may become very competent together without public tuition. Certainly from a rope perspective you can have all the in-person tuition you want but without a regular partner to lab with, you won't get far. At the end of the day it is the competence of the person that counts. That includes submissives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be doing it wrong op plenty of munches and events to attend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's definitely not inactive as pretty much all the club events and munches are listed on there and it's how I've kept up with them in 3 different regions in the UK. I've got 181 friends on there and there's only a small handful that I haven't met in person. "

I would agree with this...

We keep up with the Manchester/NW and London scene on there as we cover both.

All just depends what you want from the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The number of times I just delete people who claim to know what they are talking about but just want a rough sex hookup ...

Submissives definitely have a lot more sifting to do in that department but then I can't imagine it being easy for a genuine dom to find the right sub with so many women thinking they've found their kink after watching 50 shades.

Anyhow good luck. I've been meaning to check out fl for a while and brave the social scene. I've always been underground with my kinks till recently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bobby pin on your nipples under your work clothes all day. Then take a photograph and send it to your master.

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

If you're looking for a BDSM themed online chat and hookup thing, then Collar Space is more like your thing. I will warn you though, your chances of actually meeting people from it are low.

The reality of all these sites (including Fab) is that there are far more guys than girls. If you're saying that they're "useless" simply because no-one's wanting to meet you at the drop of a condom packet, then that noise you hear is me playing "suck it up buttercup" on the world's smallest violin. That's the reality for us guys, I'm afraid.

If you want to use FL as more of that kind of thing, you really do do need to look on groups. Many groups on FL for particular interests have "personals" threads, so you can use them to try finding people you're compatible with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The number of times I just delete people who claim to know what they are talking about but just want a rough sex hookup ...

Submissives definitely have a lot more sifting to do in that department but then I can't imagine it being easy for a genuine dom to find the right sub with so many women thinking they've found their kink after watching 50 shades.

Anyhow good luck. I've been meaning to check out fl for a while and brave the social scene. I've always been underground with my kinks till recently "

1000% this!

Definitely not easy to find your submissive as a genuine Dominant (rather than a wannabe who thinks it's all about being rough)

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I tend to switch off when people talk of "genuine dominants" because it is normally used as a self reference. It also imports in my view "one true way".

Dominance can take different forms and different styles, the same with submission. The issue is not a matter of finding someone that is genuine. It is a matter of finding someone whose dominance matches the submission. I always use the car analogy. To say you want a car is not helpful. You need a specification. If a person is looking for a 4x4 it does not help to say sports cars are not genuine cars.

The only part that "genuineness" plays is that people should represent themselves honestly. I have heard too many stories of people representing themselves as dominants only to switch in the relationship and ask to be dominated.

An issue with the word "dominant' (as a noun) is that it has become a porn description. I have seen in a number of threads people seeking dominant men to control their partners sexually. Although in my view this is not dominance, I think the word covers a number of behaviours. This is why people need to do the self analysis and be specific about what sort of submission or dominance they desire.

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