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Worst Possible Musical Idea….

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Inspired by the episode in After Life wherein a character hilariously revealed that they had headlined in, Taxi Driver: The Musical(!!!)

Good folks, can you come up with a more dreadful idea for a film to musical conversion?

I’m thinking Schindler’s List would be pretty bad for starters…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Exorcist might not work too well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to see The Wolf of Wall Street as a musical.

Just imagine all the fucks in songs haha

As for a worst, The Predator? I mean it's supposed to be invisible yet its going to sing about stalking them?

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pulp Fiction.

Jules: That is a tasty burger, where did you get it?

Brett: A Pizza Hut, A Pizza Hut. Kentucky Fried Chicken and A Pizza Hut

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth


"The Exorcist might not work too well "

Miss Saigon. No, that already is the worst musical in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carrie would be blood-y mayhem.

Jaws the Musical would be a de-fin-ite

disaster.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Carrie would be blood-y mayhem.

Jaws the Musical would be a de-fin-ite

disaster.

"

I can almost hear the musical number in Jaws, ‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat, a bigger boat, a bigger boat!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Human Centipede: The Musical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Human Centipede: The Musical

"

Ooft *holding in puke emoji*

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting.

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By *erbert the pervertMan
over a year ago

party in your panties

Jim’ll fix it the musical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."

Nonsense!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jim’ll fix it the musical"

I must have missed the film that preceded it

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Two Girls One Cup: The Musical….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Battlefield Earth: the musical. The film was utter tripe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two Girls One Cup: The Musical…."

Just: NO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two Girls One Cup: The Musical…."

Sounds shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tinnitus: the musical

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Jesus, my dark humour is going to all the wrong places with this…..

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Inspired by the episode in After Life wherein a character hilariously revealed that they had headlined in, Taxi Driver: The Musical(!!!)

Good folks, can you come up with a more dreadful idea for a film to musical conversion?

I’m thinking Schindler’s List would be pretty bad for starters….."

Funny you should mention that...here's my take on it (Mel Brooks and Springtime for Hitler springs to mind)

Why, oh why

am I full of glee?

Is it because

Of the drudergery.

Filing and polishing

For the artillery.

Bullets and belts

From the iron foun-dary

I don't get paid,

Nor holidays due

Frost bitten, malnourished

And bunged up with flu

Been stuck here,

Since last January

When some joker said

"Work sets you free"

...Then, why, oh why

Am I so full of glee?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"The Exorcist might not work too well "

Jim Stein and Meatloaf might disagree, if they were still with us.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Top Gear: the musical

I'm really looking to writing The Stig's solo parts.

(Staples a handful of blank sheets together)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!"

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bicycle thief….

(Subtle humour…)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."

I challenge anyone to a fight who says SouthPark the musical is not actually a fucking first rate musical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson"
agreed!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up…."

I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma

"Lambs shall sleep,

Lambs shall sleep!

Needing you, oh Chainti,

In your woven fiasco,

Watch the pouring,

That trembles with love

Floral with notes.

But my secret is hidden within me,

My shame no one shall see,

No... no...

Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,

When the light shines.

And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!

(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)

Vanish, tonight!

See, stars! See, stars!

At dusk, I will cook!

I will cook!

I will cook!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Two Girls One Cup: The Musical….

Sounds shit "

I'll drink to that!

I can see the posters now

"Two girls one cup, brought to you from the people who brought you, the Broadway smash Blue Waffle"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chopper. 'If you keep stabbing me, you're going to kill me' would be a No.1 hit.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Hitler in springtime

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"just enter the code below, on iTunes for the Remix of Boney M's Brown girl in the ring"

#2g1c

(for an exclusive set of t-shirts and mug)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Chopper. 'If you keep stabbing me, you're going to kill me' would be a No.1 hit."

as would Rod Stewart's corker "The first cut is the deepest"

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson"

Or "Going Underground"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Would love to see The Wolf of Wall Street as a musical.

Just imagine all the fucks in songs haha

As for a worst, The Predator? I mean it's supposed to be invisible yet its going to sing about stalking them?"

Can you imagine Jordan Belfort, sing and dancing ala Gene Kelly past his scammed customers begging on the street singing "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf?, big bad wolf?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….

I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma

"Lambs shall sleep,

Lambs shall sleep!

Needing you, oh Chainti,

In your woven fiasco,

Watch the pouring,

That trembles with love

Floral with notes.

But my secret is hidden within me,

My shame no one shall see,

No... no...

Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,

When the light shines.

And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!

(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)

Vanish, tonight!

See, stars! See, stars!

At dusk, I will cook!

I will cook!

I will cook!

"

I’m booking my tickets for this now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long."

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’."

even better..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two Girls One Cup: The Musical…."

I one up that one man and jar the musical

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Jim’ll fix it the musical

"

Kate Bush and "Sat in your lap"

"Some say that temptation is something sat in your lap

Some say that temptation is something that you never have"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’."

Yes! I can see it now.

"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.

Yes! I can see it now.

"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.

"

Actually howling!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….

I can, replacing the lyrics to Nessun Dorma

"Lambs shall sleep,

Lambs shall sleep!

Needing you, oh Chainti,

In your woven fiasco,

Watch the pouring,

That trembles with love

Floral with notes.

But my secret is hidden within me,

My shame no one shall see,

No... no...

Slicing your mouth, I will taste it,

When the light shines.

And the lambs will observe the silence that matches your whine!

(No one will know this shame and you must, alas, die.)

Vanish, tonight!

See, stars! See, stars!

At dusk, I will cook!

I will cook!

I will cook!

I’m booking my tickets for this now "

Thanks, fancy a glass of wine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We need a playlist;

I won't let the site go down on me.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up…."

Challenge accepted, accomplished and tickets are selling out fast!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.

Yes! I can see it now.

"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.

Actually howling! "

I can hear you down here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn in the USA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swing low sweet chariot

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

Oh God, it would be hysterical.

We could call it ‘FAF? The musical’.

Yes! I can see it now.

"We're having a gangbang against the wall" has to be the biggie from this one.

Actually howling! "

Rita, Sue and FAF too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to get Ring of Fire in there somewhere.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Porn in the USA"

French Kissing in the USA

We'd have to call it "The American wet dream"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Got to get Ring of Fire in there somewhere."

Lord of the rings

or

Freddy got Fisted

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Carrie would be blood-y mayhem.

Jaws the Musical would be a de-fin-ite

disaster.

I can almost hear the musical number in Jaws, ‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat, a bigger boat, a bigger boat!’ "

I see what youi did there with the fin pun.

They could sing those words to "who's afraid of the big bad wolf?/we're gonna need a bigger boat, a bigger boat."

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 14/02/22 21:39:50]

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Carrie would be blood-y mayhem.

"

This could be Cliff Richard's newest project.

"Carrie doesn't shower here any more, not since she bled on the shower floor..."

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Tinnitus: the musical"

that's got a ring to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carrie doesn’t go to the main hall

She’d rather be dead

Than once again have pig’s blood chucked over her head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, on second thoughts, I’ll leave the rhymes to you!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Carrie doesn’t go to the main hall

She’d rather be dead

Than once again have pig’s blood chucked over her head."

Thanks, does this work?

Carrie isn't Prom Queen any more

Not since the porcine blood

over head did pour

Carrie doesn't need this anymore

Being drenched like this

by that fuckin' whore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scream!! You are actually hilarious

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Jim’ll fix it the musical

I must have missed the film that preceded it "
it was called Jimmy Saville: Exhibit A, b, c, d...the MET Police blamed South Yorkshire Police for losing the evidence. SYP denied it and blamed the MET.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Scream!! You are actually hilarious "

Why, thank you (takes a bow and rolls hand to the audience from the stage.)

I'm framing that!

mmmwaa

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up…."

Put the lotion in the basket, opera style

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Silence Of The Lambs: I can just imagine a suitably crass Chianti song cropping up….

Put the lotion in the basket, opera style "

Try this...

"Pass me the lotion

Pass me the lotion

Your feeble screams

Are a drop in the ocean

Please load the basket

Please load the basket

Don't make me scream

Didn't you hear me when

I quietly ask-ed it?"

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Alien

Resident evil

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Alien

"

This one goes to Reginald Dwight

"I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch

I'm a bitch and I'm back

Stone cold slobber as a matter of fact"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"We need a playlist;

I won't let the site go down on me."

Not a fan of receiving oral then?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Porn in the USA"

Louis Theroux HAS to narrate this one.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield


"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."

Wow. That’s a big call!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"The Exorcist might not work too well "

Lennon & McCartney, have got this one in the bag.

"Twist and shout, woo-hoo!"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting.

Wow. That’s a big call!"

Curtain call?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long."

I thought it wasn't Viagra, bloody online pharmacies!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"fabswingers the musical.. I can't believe it's taken this long.

I thought it wasn't Viagra, bloody online pharmacies!"

Stand by your man!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Human Centipede: The Musical

"

"The okey-y" or "Follow you, follow me"

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Trump - The Musical

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Trump - The Musical"

Hasn't that happened yet?

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Saving Private Ryan or maybe some of the dodgy porn parodies. Anyone for Shaving Ryan's Privates the musical.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Trump - The Musical"

"I hear you knocking, but you can't come in"

"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"

"Bye bye baby, baby good bye"

or

"We don't need mass inocul-ation, we don't need no sheeple control. Before I fall, I want to build a Mexi-can wall!"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Saving Private Ryan or maybe some of the dodgy porn parodies. Anyone for Shaving Ryan's Privates the musical."

"On the Beach" by Chris Rea

"Burn baby burn, dico inferno" for the pill box and flame thrower scene.

"Boys, boys, boys" by Sabrina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber makes a pretty awful musical

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex


" The Exorcist might not work too well "
I saw the Exorcist in the west end a few times. It was so good …but thankfully NOT a musical lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brexit the musical

The first act would be confused and misleading

The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...

When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Diana - The Musical’ has swept the Razzies, so can anything else top (bottom?) that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You used the word "musical". That already guarantees the music is going to be crap, and the script and acting are going to be pantomime level.

There are a few honourable exceptions on the music front. There are no exceptions on the script or acting."

Wrong on all counts (in my opinion as HUGE Sondheim fan).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brexit the musical

The first act would be confused and misleading

The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...

When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.

"

I can see the bus ads now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brexit the musical

The first act would be confused and misleading

The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...

When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.

I can see the bus ads now"

But it would only advertise at half the actual price

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Harry Potter

Well someone had to.

Imagine Voldemort swooshing around the dorms at night whispering "Say my name, say my name".

Or Professor Donegal's rendition of "This ol' house" by Shakin Stevens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson"

And of course Go West by the Pet Shop Boys

Fred West, if you rent a room

Fred West, he'll build an ensuite tomb

Fred West, he'll fondle both your tits

Fred West, he'll chop off all your other bits.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Brexit the musical

The first act would be confused and misleading

The second like football terrace chorus across the house of commons floor and...

When you thought it was all over the 3rd act would start and they'd lock the doors so you can't get out.

I can see the bus ads now

But it would only advertise at half the actual price "

and nobody will know when it will finish.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson

And of course Go West by the Pet Shop Boys

Fred West, if you rent a room

Fred West, he'll build an ensuite tomb

Fred West, he'll fondle both your tits

Fred West, he'll chop off all your other bits.

"

Good effort, you should write the whole song.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I Spit On Your Grave: The Musical…..

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Lockdown: the musical

Performed by BoJo & the Clowns. Shirley Serban, others TBC

"It's my party and I'll lie if I want to, lie if I want to"

"Is this the way to Barnard Castle? As being short sighted is a bit of a hassle"

"Stay away, Stay away" by the amazing Shirly Serban. (you've got to see this one!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGVPzrVJS5U

"...selfies suck, when you're stuck

Far from fancy scenery

Now Streetview'll have to do

As a holiday for me"

"Suck it up, suck it up

Suck it up, border's closed"

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Giving Andrew Lloyd Webber any amount of money.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Woke : the musical

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

BLM: the musical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Life and Times of Peter Sutcliffe: A Musical Odyssey

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"The Life and Times of Peter Sutcliffe: A Musical Odyssey"

Rowan Atkinson could have played him. Just think Blackadder II and see the resemblance.

4 Non Blonds should redo this one...

"And I try

Oh my God, do I try

I try all the time

In this institution

And I pray

Oh my God, do I pray

I pray every single day"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Prince Andrew: the musical

"Sorry is the hardest word" Elton John

"Kids" by Kylie & Robbie

"So come on, jump on board, take a ride, yeah

You'll be doin' it all night

Jump on board, feel the high

'Cause the kids are alright

You've got a reputation

Well, I guess that can be explored

You're dancing with the chairman of the board"

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

The News

*it’s quite repetitive, more plot lines than absolutely necessary and way too many characters for my liking.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

What about the weather report?

There's loads of suitable songs.

"When the levee breaks" Led Zep

"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel

"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe

"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)

"Hot in the city" Billy Idol

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff ish / PDI early Nov


"What about the weather report?

There's loads of suitable songs.

"When the levee breaks" Led Zep

"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel

"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe

"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)

"Hot in the city" Billy Idol"

Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not American pie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Les miserables performed at local shopping mall

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"What about the weather report?

There's loads of suitable songs.

"When the levee breaks" Led Zep

"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel

"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe

"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)

"Hot in the city" Billy Idol

Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list "

I did that deliberately.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Probably not American pie "

The history of the song or the film of the same title?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw: the musical.

Watch out, the first 3 rows are “the splash zone.” Audience participation is mandatory

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Saw: the musical.

Watch out, the first 3 rows are “the splash zone.” Audience participation is mandatory "

Tie this in with the Alton Towers ride.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Fred and rose the musical why it'll be a west end smash!!

The finale has to be "I never promised you a rose garden" by Lynn Anderson"

I was just singing this song

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Fatwa: the Musical works out pretty well for Larry David in Curb your Enthusiasm

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"What about the weather report?

There's loads of suitable songs.

"When the levee breaks" Led Zep

"Here comes the flood" Peter Gabriel

"Sunshine on a rainy day" Zoe

"I remember your name" The Beautiful South (for storm names)

"Hot in the city" Billy Idol

Got to add ‘it’s raining men’ to that list

I did that deliberately."

"Gspot tornado" Frank Zappa

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

Finnish skier with frozen penis.

Ouch!

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

What extreme sport would you put your tackle or boobs at risk for?

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth


"What extreme sport would you put your tackle or boobs at risk for?"

And how do you put it to music?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"What extreme sport would you put your tackle or boobs at risk for?

And how do you put it to music?"

...the cold never bothered me anyway. Perhaps?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Putin: the musical.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

JFK: form the assasin's point of view.

There is a song that fits this, even though it was wasn't written for this event.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Predator the musical was good ,

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