FabSwingers.com forum: Friends With Benefits

By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

Pick someone with experience. You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up -- even better if you've heard she is great in bed. Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver. It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so she is experienced in that department. If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet.

You're not trying to be coy here -- you're looking for a hook-up buddy

Keep it casual. You can hang out with your friend with benefits, but you need to make it clear that it's not a date. For one thing, you should spend more time in bed together than out of it. You can go out for a drink -- but not for dinner , and don't bring your "friend" as a date to a wedding or a part

The joy of a friends with benefits relationship is that you can still have enough time to pursue your own goals or just all of the fun times you have hanging out with your friends. You can keep hooking up with your friend while having plenty of time to do all of the things you love during the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you been googling?

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

no why do you say that this is my impressions with friends with benefits after mine ended about 12 months ago so I am looking for other friends with benefitsit is all about escapism from the normal routine of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you follow that to the letter it's a sure fire way of not in fact finding a friend with benefits

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Not my idea of finding a friend with benefits.

Finding someone who comes with references that they can deliver in bed

Should spend more time in bed than out of it

Limits on interactions out if bed, drinks but no meal

The social aspect is just as important as the sex side, hence 'friend' with benefits. I certainly don't seek someone who puts so much focus on bed and thinks time out of bed should have limitations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you're talking more about fab type friends with benefits which really are more benefits with friends where the relationship is built on sex then friendship

I way prefer real life friends with benefits where the relationship is built on friendship first and includes everything that you do with friends with the added benefit of a physical relationship when two people feel that way inclined!

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

very sorry you feel that way it was not my intention but when you put it on paper it sounds a very very ash and crueljust the way it comes across very sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic, now how do I find one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pick someone with experience. You should try to find someone who you know has had some experience hooking up -- even better if you've heard she is great in bed. Since that's what you'll be doing, it's good to have a sense that the person will deliver. It will also help if the person has had some casual flings before, so she is experienced in that department. If the person has only had one relationship and it lasted seven years, he may not be your best bet.

You're not trying to be coy here -- you're looking for a hook-up buddy

Pardon me, but what a load of old shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s something that can be written down and listed, everyone is different, and therefore their dynamic will be different, and it’ll be what works for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no why do you say that this is my impressions with friends with benefits after mine ended about 12 months ago so I am looking for other friends with benefitsit is all about escapism from the normal routine of life"

Shouldn't a friend with benefits be part of your life? Friend being the clue? Don't you mean a fuck buddy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s something that can be written down and listed, everyone is different, and therefore their dynamic will be different, and it’ll be what works for them "

But fabbers like a clearly defined list of what different kinds of relationship should be

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Fantastic, now how do I find one?

You know how Batman has the bat signal? Well there is also the tit signal. It shines a light up to the sky like this ( * ) ( * ) and the local women come running.

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

well that is the question how do you find one if I knew our would be a very lucky man

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Glad you’ve defined your criteria so clearly. Can’t say they are anywhere close to how I feel.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think you are describing a fuck buddy more than a fwb.

And as for the references no thanks I'll find out for myself if I want to know what someone is like in bed. References from anyone holds no appeal to me I won't listen to them nor talk about anyone I have met either.

A fwb is a friend not just someone I meet for sex. I've had both and I prefer the fwb situation. Fb well they come and go literally.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Id stay away from any man that had been discussing if i was good in bed or not

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"well that is the question how do you find one if I knew our would be a very lucky man"

Well you now know how NOT to find one - so you're half way there

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

I was only asking you a question so I can see different people's points of View

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I was only asking you a question so I can see different people's points of View"

Little tip - if you press the "Reply & Quote" button people will know who you're replying to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was only asking you a question so I can see different people's points of View"

Ahh, ok. It wasn’t really phrased as a question, more of a statement, so maybe we’ve got the wrong end of the stick.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

What question did you as OP?

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

just relax no need to get upset and gets on your moral high ground

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By *azkinsWoman
over a year ago

leeds

That sounds more like a list of demands to me. Well as long as you get your end away it's all good eh?.

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

what are you looking for in a F W B

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

"what are you looking for in a F W B"

Someone who cooks my dinner

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

That's not what I'm looking for in a fwb x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

FWB... in my experience, most only want the B part and don't really want to make the effort for the F part.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

"That's not what I'm looking for in a fwb x"

Sounds more like a plaything to be ready and waiting when OP wants her to be.

Not for me either x

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Good luck finding that woman who wants to be at your beck and call only on your terms.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

" don't bring your "friend" as a date to a wedding

I've done better than that. I gave one away at her wedding in my sucro-paternalistic role.

The icing on the wedding cake was, for me, and those concerned, the carnal knowledge of 3 other females in the fairly small party!

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I was only asking you a question so I can see different people's points of View"

Your opening post was a statement on what limitations should be placed on a friend with benefits arrangement in your opinion. It did come across as a clear cut statement rather than a discussion, hence the slightly ruffled feathers.

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By *allenMan
over a year ago

Thatcham

Is there anyone out there looking for a FWB

I’d be happy to to work on your rules..

Lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

To be honest op youve made it very clear on what your looking for so if thats what you want you stick to it

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

sorry to say I've opened a bag of wormsI did not mean to upset anybody that was not my intention to do so all I can say please accept my apologies

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"just relax no need to get upset and gets on your moral high ground"

Think it’s just the way you’ve worded it OP, sometimes these things sound better in your head than written down

In my opinion you have described a F’buddy rather than FWB but we all have our own ideas of what we want no matter what we call them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fantastic, now how do I find one?

You know how Batman has the bat signal? Well there is also the tit signal. It shines a light up to the sky like this ( * ) ( * ) and the local women come running.

I've got a crate of Perry, would that work?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Is there anyone out there looking for a FWB

I’d be happy to to work on your rules..

Lol"

Really? Serious question, you'd compromise your own principles and desires for the sake of getting an FWB?

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

yes I probably worded that wrong it sounds like a job description and not a relationship

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"yes I probably worded that wrong it sounds like a job description and not a relationship"

No offence but it doesn't sound like a relationship either

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"sorry to say I've opened a bag of wormsI did not mean to upset anybody that was not my intention to do so all I can say please accept my apologies"

Its just the way it was worded that is all. I hope you can find the fwb that you are looking for and don't be put off posting on threads

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Suppose everyone has their own ideas of what a friend with benefits relationship should be like.

For me it'd be someone to hang out with, have all night sessions - not just having sex, talk random stuff and have a laugh as well and even have dinner together on occasion. Someone to go on field trips with to swingers clubs. Not a monogamous relationship, we'd be seeing other people as well if we wanted to.

A fuck buddy in my eyes is someone you hook up with for just the sex.

Someone else might look at this completely differently though.

What you're describing in your post sounds a bit like a blow up doll though tbh

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Well clearly I've done the friends with benefits thing completely wrong then as I actually liked them for more than aex and if I had needed a plus 1 for anything then I'd have been more than happy to ask them to join me.

Jesus if its just sex then fine, its just sex but to not want to get to know them as well if you both choose to just because of some misguided set of rules.....ludicrous.

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By *exy Two-Shoes40 OP Man
over a year ago

bolton

I am not on here looking for lots of notches on the bedpost, I would prefer a regular FWB because as they say quality over quantity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The joy of a friends with benefits relationship is that you can still have enough time to pursue your own goals or just all of the fun times you have hanging out with your friends"

Not sure what has happened to you in life, but maintaining a friendship with a good sex life AND pursue life goals AND hang out with friends can all be achieved in a proper relationship. Just sayin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Underwhelmed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The joy of a friends with benefits relationship is that you can still have enough time to pursue your own goals or just all of the fun times you have hanging out with your friends

Not sure what has happened to you in life, but maintaining a friendship with a good sex life AND pursue life goals AND hang out with friends can all be achieved in a proper relationship. Just sayin."
pretty much nailed it there off topic name looks familiar

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By *allenMan
over a year ago

Thatcham

It was meant as I’d be happy to let the FWB contact me when the were available, unlike some guys who would constantly ask for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only one problem with what you've written OP, and that is that its completely incorrect. Oh, and its written as a statement rather than a question.

Its not my idea of an FWB, and is nothing like the FWB I have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not on here looking for lots of notches on the bedpost, I would prefer a regular FWB because as they say quality over quantity."

From your opening post OP it sounds like you're more after a fuck buddy instead of a fwb?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Having just found large chunks of your OP on various sites including WikiHow - I'd suggest perhaps formulating your own ideas of what an FWB relationship might be to you would be a good place to start OP, rather than relying on a perceived notion of something that is actually quite an individual thing to many with the only "rules" being those set by the people involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id love a friend with benefits.

Someone who wants to share meals, drinks, nights out, nights in, walks, films and lots of sex too.

Fuck buddy imo is what you described in your post OP but with a few things taken out!

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Had a few fwb. However I always find one person benefits more than the other.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

You know guys, maybe the OP was just trying to strike up a conversation and went about it the wrong way.

These are trying times for people whether you are in lockdown with family or on your own it’s not a situation any of us created and maybe he was lonely and thought he would start what he considered an interesting topic as he isnt arguing with anyone’s opinions on this thread.

Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man from a 6.5 yr relationship would be an absolute stallion 'neath the sheets though. Get him quick before he goes stale

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chance would be a fine thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yawn...

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"You know guys, maybe the OP was just trying to strike up a conversation and went about it the wrong way.

Just a thought

But nobody has been particularly rude nor challenging. He posted quite a strong statement, people disagreed. That is the nature of the forum's, some agree, some disagree.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Where's the benefit to the woman?

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Where's the benefit to the woman?"

Sex with conditions

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By *ixfootinthecityMan
over a year ago

London

Seem to be missing out the reasonably important ‘friend’ bit. You’re not getting a used car, pal.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"Where's the benefit to the woman?"

They can, for instance, get someone who is happy to give them away when they eventually marry someone else!

An inestimable boon!

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

You're not trying to be coy here -- you're looking for a hook-up buddy

That description describes a duck buddy to me.

Friends with benefits I can hang out with & talk to as well as have no commitment sex with. I would take them to a party but I would make it clear before hand if they are coming as a friend or as a plus 1.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I had a FWB but we never got to meet often. My availability always clashed with her signing on days.

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I gad one for about three years then she found a man and got married we still chat from time to time and she’s very happy and I don’t expect anything to happen in the future unless she comes asking me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my friends with benefits know its mainly sexual i dont do emotional connections or drama so the more sex the better after all its why im here i have plenty of real time friends to socialise with but i also find its what most guys are looking for so again win win

fwb = sex and coffee

fb = sex and fuck off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was only asking you a question so I can see different people's points of View"

Your long post didn’t seem to ask any questions though. It read as if that was the only accepted definition of fwb.

Everyone has different interpretations and it is up to the two people involved to agree what they want.

Women now have choices in life and relationships and on Fab women are the ones doing the choosing a lot of the time.

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