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Best Joke Friday...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok lets see the Fab humour today whats your funniest joke ... here is a Scottish wan for ya..

Three mice in a Glasgow Pub having a mouse to mouse talk about who`s the hardest and toughest...

Aberdeen mouse says

"I go up tae mousetraps, rip the cheese oot & and as the bar comes down I Bench Press it 30 times & throw it Across the room!"

Edinburgh mouse says:

I get rat poison, crush it intae powder & snort it!"

Glasgow mouse finishes his beer, gets up and walks to the door..

"Where u goin?"

asked the other two,

"home tae shag the cat"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man sunbathing naked, ends up burning is penis. When he went to the doctor , the doctor told him to put it in a bowl of cold milk to ease the pain.

Later on that day his blonde wife walks in, and finds him with his penis in a bowl of milk. She looks at him amazed and says I always wondered how you re-loaded those things !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two cows standing in a field. One says MOOOO. The other turns around and says "fuck, I was going to say that"!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who is the coolest guy in the hospital?...The ultra-sound guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A blue whale ejaculates 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And people wonder why the sea is salty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?...A stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man and his lady friend walk into a forest on a pitch black nite. The lady lies down, pulls her skirt up and her down and the man goes down on her,

Hes licking away, going hell for leather, saying his abc's and all.

20 mins later and getting no where he says

" fuck i wish i brought a flash light i cant see what im at"

She says

" i wish u brought one too uve been eating grass for the past 20 mins"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the doctors the other day....he told me that I'd have to stop wanking.......he said it was upsetting the rest of the people in the waiting room

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By *andyrackkyMan
over a year ago

South

I bought a 5 litre bottle of Tipp Ex yesterday. huge mistake....

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By *andyrackkyMan
over a year ago

South

I bought a dog from a local blacksmith the other day. Brought it home and it made a bolt for the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I bought a 5 litre bottle of Tipp Ex yesterday. huge mistake...."

Haha I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Magic tractor...............turned into a field .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A time traveller.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a male tea bag

A hebrew

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By *ussiesCouple
over a year ago

gwent

My wife was trying to be sexy last night, she lay on the bed sucking a lollypop and then started slowly sliding it in and out of her pussy. I said " steady love, you'll need that to see the kids across the road in the morning "

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By *eansouth86Man
over a year ago

Dundee

England thought they could win a major competition lol does that count?

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By *eansouth86Man
over a year ago

Dundee

LMAO did I kill the craic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you spot a irish blonde on a nudist beach??

She puts her towel around her to get undressed. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Irishman, An Englishman, A Scotsman are in a bar.....the Welshman's not there.....

cos he's still in France

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By *eansouth86Man
over a year ago

Dundee


"An Irishman, An Englishman, A Scotsman are in a bar.....the Welshman's not there.....

cos he's still in France

"

BOOM!

Come on the Welsh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call the smallest pub in the world?

The Thalidomide Arms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the constipated maths teacher? ?

He worked it out with a pencil

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