FabSwingers.com forum: Why do guys get such a hard time

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

The cynics amongst you will no doubt say it's either because I don't read profiles properly or I send cut and paste messages asking people to read my profile or even that I just send messages asking people if they fancy a shag

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

Youve got to realise that single ladies and couples get hundreds of mail and cant spend all day replying to mail when they could be haing fun instead.... relax send yr mail, be your self and the meets will happen... get known in the chat rooms and forum and you never know things may improve... good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i very rarely message anyone on here, i just go in the chat rooms, got to know some very nice ladies and couples, may help if you go in the chat rooms, be friendly, give advice if there is a subject you know well etc, just get known for being around and friendly, try going to the odd social, theres bound to be one close to you sooner or later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we will always reply to mail we receive if it is obvious that people have taken the time to read our profile and and the time to write a message. however we get a lot of one liners and cut and paste mail from single males and our profile is very specific about single males. it seems that the vast majority of males who mail us fail to either read our profile properly or just skip straight to the pix. does this result in us "tarring all single males with the same brush"?..probably..not nice but there you go. we also get a lot of friends invites as a first contact from single males with no pix on their profile and no validations. some of them seem to take exception when we refuse them. maybe they'd like a bound album of our private pix!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bound album of private pics...... YES PLEASE hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

You know when Bart Simpson says lovely things to his dog and his dog hears ... blah blah blah blah blah ... ? Well .... that's how your profile reads to me ... after the first line my eyes glazed over .... it's all whingin n moanin and nothing to do with meeting.

I wouldn't mention it except that you say you go ALL out to be pleasant. Guess what ? you REALLY don't ..

Just an observers perception of your profile and you. Hope it helps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

god ... I just read it again ...... It's bloody rude !! dismissive and VERY unfriendly...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"god ... I just read it again ...... It's bloody rude !! dismissive and VERY unfriendly... "
this caused us to read your profile again and grannycrumpet has got a point.it is quite unfriendly. its a cliche but you never get a second chance to make a first impression

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that silly 'Legal' thingy ... well what can I say ...

Bollox

Meaningless tosh

Get rid of it for heavens sake it has no teeth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

ohhhh my good god !!!! yet another one of these posts !!

firstly look at the frequently asked q and a s and then serch for simalar posts ..i assure you there are meny !!!

nope not all guys are the same and i think most will treat each on an indervidual case .but being honest being a married guy doesnt help with finding meets . not everyone swings with single guys ,so youve lost alot of folks rite off . then even fewer who will swing with married guys playing away from home(but there are those who will) ... so you have as you see already a very limited target audience before you even begin!!

then whinging in forums really isnt gonna help u at all!! just seems a) desoparate or b) looking for sympathy .

youve been on site almost a year and have had a meet so you really should know the script by now ! if ppl arent intereste then THEY JUST ARENT INTERESTED !!! move on and why waste energy moaning in forum and use it constructively going in to chat room or putting name down for socials to get face and name known on here in a posative light !

as they say in q and as no one owes you replie or anything on here ! to exspect it isnt showing you ina favourable light is it ????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought some of the comments expressed were harsh and was really rooting for you, as I only meet single men.

But you're not a single man are you, but married, so maybe that could be a factor.

As you're profile tells people like me to move on if we have a problem with your marital status I didn't read further.

Good luck there, think you'll need it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought some of the comments expressed were harsh and was really rooting for you, as I only meet single men.

But you're not a single man are you, but married, so maybe that could be a factor.

As you're profile tells people like me to move on if we have a problem with your marital status I didn't read further.

Good luck there, think you'll need it!"

I agree, the first line is about being married "..and if that's problem, move on"....I wasn't even as generous as the divine ms crumpet to read the whole lot.

There's enough single guys on here that get a hard enough time getting meets and most folk would rather give them a chance way above a married guy.

sorry op, but if you tell a person to move on...they're gonna!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id remove: sensitive to a womans needs" as you are no to your wife are you, cheating on her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On your profile you say your married if that a problem then move on... Perhaps thats what people are doing.. Moving on..

You might be honest by saying your married,but this isnt a cheating site,its a swingers site and most people dont want to meet married men without the wifes knowing,although there are some on here who do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friendlyman

Tell me about it no matter how pleasant you are doesn't seem to matter even when they say on profile for you to make the effort !! Damned if you do damned if you don't thats women for you moody mean fickle but so much hard work but occassionally you get a gem lmao

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah the swinging behind the wife's back is not going to help, we are guilty though of not replying to alot of guys messages. We have guys blocked most of the time but on friday we decided to unblock them i was away in Birmingham on a stag weekend and Lolly was on her own so we thought she could do with some company she spent most of Friday night and Saturday afternoon after work going through all the messages she had received and eventually she gave up and went on a girlie night out, im sat here still going through all the messages now and im getting to the point of blocking guys again and mass deleting the messages sorry to admit that but we want to meet folks not wast out time on going though loads of messages.

Im ducking now so the abuse dont hit me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys will usually find it hard here, for a start there are so bloody many of you, then of course it comes down to attraction and so on.

Besides that, not every couple or single fem seek single guys.

All you can do is try, and try damn hard, put in the effort and you may be awarded.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Friendlyman

Just because a woman doesn't want you , doesn't make her mean moody and fickle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

lol yep id call it being selective lol !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I merely make the point that I'm married because I've heard so many women on these sites say they have met a guy who claimed he wasn't married only to find out he was!!!!

You tell me which is worse?

Plus,it's not just men who that......fact .

I take everyones points on board as you have to be responsive to criticism,as long as it is constructive.

Thanks for your comments.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I merely make the point that I'm married because I've heard so many women on these sites say they have met a guy who claimed he wasn't married only to find out he was!!!!

You tell me which is worse?

Plus,it's not just men who that......fact .

I take everyones points on board as you have to be responsive to criticism,as long as it is constructive.

Thanks for your comments."

Well its nice to see you have reacted well to what's been said, you must understand though that many swinger react quite venomously to married guys playing away as its not strictly in the spirit of swinging. I would agree that many seem to turn a blind eye when its a lady doing the playing away. On a personal not we have played with married guys in the past and its always left us feeling very nervous (mainly because many people locally know we are swingers so when were seen out with someone new people know were with play partners) so we avoid them theses days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So we'll be seeing a revamped profile very soon with the silly disclaimer removed as an added bonus ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, like I said........I always try to take criticism on board.I'm not Simon Cowell after all !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well, like I said........I always try to take criticism on board.I'm not Simon Cowell after all !!"

No, he's not married.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if his wife knew - most probably she would join this website herself lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if his wife knew - most probably she would join this website herself lol

And she would get more messages in a day than he's sent in a month

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

its one of those things and you are are really... really not going to like what I am about it say next...

you are right in the sense that you can't tar everyone with the same brush... but in a way its is the likes of you that make it harder for the likes of me.......

I am truely single, in the fact that I don't have a wife or partner, the fact that I have to work twice as hard to gain peoples trust because they have been burned by married men acting as singles and playing away.....

there are a lot of people that won't play with married men playing away... that is life and just accept that,

I know a few married men that do play on the scene, they get the trust of people by allowing them to talk to the other half and making sure it isn't something being done behind there backs......they also make that very clear on there profile as well.... could you do that????

I have to go thru hoops because certain men lie only thinking about there own labido to get meets.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

i reply to most messages even if its a simple thanks but im not intrested

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

makes you think that above message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

It's two things, for us (because no, we don't reply to everyone).

1) volume, it's mad. seriously, we can easily log in after a couple of days to find 100 emails.

2) of those 100 you can absolutely guarantee that 97 of them really have not read the profile or are ignoring some aspect of your wishes (age, likes, etc etc).

That's really what it comes down to we think. Yes, it would be nice if we replied to everyone and yes it would be the polite option but...

We need a life outside of replying to single men. Sorry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immy444Man
over a year ago

bristol

I am experiencing similar rudeness from women,,,i do take trouble to write an informative message. Get asked for pics which are on my profile ..so anyway send them to her IRONICALLY the women asking for pics has none of her at all. So before I get chance to even ask her for maybe one of her only, fairness I was BLOCKED

I did what she asked and then blocked with no EXPLANATION !!!! thats life I guess...not impressed with her

In fact that the second women to ask for pics then BLOCK ME ....am I being ultra sensitive or what ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am experiencing similar rudeness from women,,,i do take trouble to write an informative message. Get asked for pics which are on my profile ..so anyway send them to her IRONICALLY the women asking for pics has none of her at all. So before I get chance to even ask her for maybe one of her only, fairness I was BLOCKED

I did what she asked and then blocked with no EXPLANATION !!!! thats life I guess...not impressed with her

In fact that the second women to ask for pics then BLOCK ME ....am I being ultra sensitive or what ?"

Could simply be a single man on a wind up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes, I've been blocked after sending pics too.

You live and learn I suppose.

As previously, I'm reading the comments and it is helping to shape my overall grasp of this site....well the constructive comments anyway !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did what she asked and then blocked with no EXPLANATION !!!! thats life I guess...not impressed with her

In fact that the second women to ask for pics then BLOCK ME ....am I being ultra sensitive or what ?"

Maybe they didn't like how you looked, along with 38 other emails that day, so mass blocked them instead of spending 2 hours dealing with it?

Just being a devils advocate, no insult meant. People keep giving the basic reason of volume, and that's what it will always be.

I'd love to see stats for this site, to see the % of single men vs single women vs cpls. If we ever saw those stats I honestly thing every question here would be answered with clarity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immy444Man
over a year ago

bristol

After my rant yesterday about women either not replying or the one who blocked me after she requested my pics I am delighted to say I had two favourable feedbacks this morning. One from a couple on my first ever meet from this site and another from a sweet girl who saw me play for her on webcam.

So not all women on here are ********

only jesting...amazingly had offer to join a future gang bang never done that before ...and the women lives just 20 mins away from me but I have to accommodate one evening which may be on just need to find 2 or 3 other men to join in to please her ...fingers crossed that is not a wind up ...i did verify her by phone and had loads of texts from the couple concerned so could be happy days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After my rant yesterday about women either not replying or the one who blocked me after she requested my pics I am delighted to say I had two favourable feedbacks this morning. One from a couple on my first ever meet from this site and another from a sweet girl who saw me play for her on webcam.

So not all women on here are ********

No not all women are ******** as you put it,there are people who do meet guys,we meeet guys but dont meet a guy just because he has took the time to email us,there has to be some sort of attraction.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

I did what she asked and then blocked with no EXPLANATION !!!! thats life I guess...not impressed with her

In fact that the second women to ask for pics then BLOCK ME ....am I being ultra sensitive or what ?"

that happens to us women too...its the nature of the beast in this game. You need a thick skin and the ability to depersonalise stuff

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uttleyMan
over a year ago

cambridge

Us guys get a hard time????? Really???

Dont think I've ever had a hard time really ok i may take longer than a lady to get a meet or a couple for that matter but what i miss out in quantity i do however reap the benefits in quality.

I've met some truly astounding indiiduals that i would be proud to have as friends anyday.

My advice would be "stop trying so bloody hard to force the issue", "never whinge makes ya look liek a big baby!, always and i mean always be nice be polite and respectful -- even if a lady likes to be called a slut in the bedroom remember she is STILL a lady out of it (neer ever forget this rule or your cock will shrivel and die lonely and unloved as you will get no time from anyone here for that)

and lastly remember this just like you dont fancy every lady walking down the street - sometimes they just dont fancy you - doesnt mean you're a moose just that you arent their type.

keep being nice and visiting chat and you will make many new friends both male and female who may or may not just put in that all important word with someone you like

Right now who fancies a poke im all typed out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Us guys get a hard time????? Really???

Dont think I've ever had a hard time really ok i may take longer than a lady to get a meet or a couple for that matter but what i miss out in quantity i do however reap the benefits in quality.

I've met some truly astounding indiiduals that i would be proud to have as friends anyday.

and lastly remember this just like you dont fancy every lady walking down the street - sometimes they just dont fancy you - doesnt mean you're a moose just that you arent their type.

keep being nice and visiting chat and you will make many new friends both male and female who may or may not just put in that all important word with someone you like

Right now who fancies a poke im all typed out

bravo that man! on all counts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uttleyMan
over a year ago

cambridge

sagaciousness comes with time and experience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immy444Man
over a year ago

bristol

Is the fab equivalent site for saga aged members !!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

ummmmm for me the most important thing is your married and playing away that is not swinging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting how it's the married men that get all the criticism on here though, not the married women

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe its because the married guys outweigh the women, also if they play as a couple with a couples profile, its 9/10 the bloke chatting not the woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the fab equivalent site for saga aged members !!!!"

no i think its a posh word for saggy tits, what women get when they are "the older" woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"god ... I just read it again ...... It's bloody rude !! dismissive and VERY unfriendly... this caused us to read your profile again and grannycrumpet has got a point.it is quite unfriendly. its a cliche but you never get a second chance to make a first impression"

agrees you never get a 2nd chance with anyone using that profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read your profile and to me it reads like you are looking for a mistress rather than to be part of the swinging lifestyle. I dont have a problem with married men as long as they have the permission of their wives, if they don't then its not swinging it just plain old fashioned CHEATING.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe it would be easier for all if people put "No married men" on their profiles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Plenty do...

...Others may feel that they shouldn't need to...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Plenty do...

...Others may feel that they shouldn't need to..."

We used to put "NO marrieds"....... didn't stop them messaging us.

We look at the pictures..... if not for us..... we delete and block.

We read the message..... if cut and paste or one liner or obviously not read our profile........ we delete and block.

We read the profile........ if an idiot, one liner, married or just a complete tosser....... we delete and block.

The delete and block function saves them messaging us AGAIN or worse, getting the backlash from a "No thanks" where you get the....."well I thought as you were fat, you'd be desperate" or the "your loss you stupid slag" sort of thing!

And another thing..... your married but can accommodate? Are you cheating in your own marital home and the marital bed? because thats beyond the pale and downright disrespectful to the wife you are already cheating on.

Maybe the marrieds on this site (and I include the women in that) should step back, and think how they would feel if they found out that their other half was having an affair........

Not nice is it????

Oh and by the way........ cheating is cheating...... regardless of whether or not you try to justify it by sticking a swinging hat on it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So not all women on here are ********

and there is another here humming and ahhing about sending you a message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it would be easier for all if people put "No married men" on their profiles

ive got that on mine, doesnt make the slightest bit of difference though i guess i would get more messages from them if i didnt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it would be easier for all if people put "No married men" on their profiles

ive got that on mine, doesnt make the slightest bit of difference though i guess i would get more messages from them if i didnt

Same here I put no married people and still got loads of messages from married people, mostly men.

To me it seems that if someone likes your pics they will chance their luck and hope you dont look at their profile to well, or just out and out lie by saying they are single.

I prefer people who are married to say that on their profile that way I have the choice of whether to message them or not, rather then be lied to and find out later.

Since I like trust to be there with anyone I meet, if I find out they are lying I am not a happy bunny and will call a halt to any further meetings or chats.

Shona

x x x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ideally you could filter the searches for those who are ok to meet married singles and those that won't. At least that way those that want to be "proper" swingers can all play together and those that just want a bit of extra marital can play together. Whether you agree with it or not it goes on men and women.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If the Search was a little more comprehensive and on your profile you could tick who you wanted and didn't want to meet, that might go some way.

However, that assumes people being what they claim to be and, according to this thread, many people claim to be single when not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"Been on this site a while and I have to say that us guys really do get a rough deal on here.

I always try to say hello to people but there just isn't the response back.

wrong on all counts,I do make an effort to be pleasant on here,it's a shame more people don't do the same back.

What does everyone else think ?

You can't keep tarring everyone with the same brush!!!"

I see it this way; you have to have a unique selling point! Ask yourself why should a couple or female decide to choose you over any other single guy?. On the other site im on, i made sure my profile stood out from the rest by making sure i had a good headline, so any couples or females browsing, would maybe choose to look at mine before any other. I found a humourous headline on my profile worked well, and drew people in. I havent had the time to do a proper profile on this site as yet, but i know it worked very well on the other site.

Im guessing if you just put single guy looking for fun, there are maybe 500 plus single guys with exactly the same headline, so which one will the couple choose to pick to look at - properly the one that is different from all the rest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it would be easier for all if people put "No married men" on their profiles

you would think that would stop married men messaging but it doesn't...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting how it's the married men that get all the criticism on here though, not the married women

I don't play with married women either who are playing away...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh dear, where is that pit?.......the one that I'm going to be cast into for all eternity !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread