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"I was the OP on the disability thread. I think this would be a really great addition to the site, I didn't realise how many people on here are dealing with health issues." I know, I have noticed it more + more on Fab. Posts being started on the forum (which could go in the new message board!) and on people's profiles | |||
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"Love the idea, as someone who has a few invisible illnesses be nice to chat to others who are like minded and have the same Issues. Molly XX" Hi Molly
We have talked quite a bit about various things on + off for a while. I probably drove you guys mad because I'm a big talker  lol
You probably don't remember but right at the beginning Daisy spoke to you about me playing (months ago now), at the time it was on our profile but since been removed. We didn't go into detail but maybe after seeing my post/suggestion it makes a little more sense why we have been a bit reluctant to go with you + Mike to clubs. I am always here to talk
MrD xx | |||
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"I can see pros and cons for the idea of a disability sub forum. It will make it easier to find old topics of a similar nature and potentially make contact with others in similar situations. As an archive, that’s probably very useful. The downside is that only those users who actively visit the disability sub forum would see new posts for help or info. You potentially miss a wider audience of both disabled and non disabled users who may have valuable contributions to make. It’s possible that even disabled users won’t regularly visit those forum posts once they have the info they need. Posting on the main forum may also educate others on the issues at hand who otherwise wouldn’t visit the sub forum. So, not saying it’s a bad idea, but the division could be problematic. Perhaps a place to archive old threads of this nature for easy access ?" To be honest I wasn't really thinking about it being to look up information. From the other thread the idea came from being able to talk generally to others + that a lot of people wouldn't necessarily want to give specifics in public. It was more of a meeting (online not meets) + general chat around a sensitive subject area | |||
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"hi there. as a wheelchair user it would be usfull to find out infomation about swinger clubs. ie acsess,ramps. the loos no go areas ect. i did just post on the forum asking members for any clubs that can accomadte. there is very little info online. only found one club in birmingham that advertises wheelchair friendly. but live in hope "I never even thought of this use for it! D & I are both ambient disabled so whilst we don't need wheelchair access, knowing how many steps a club has, and whether they have handrails etc would be really helpful. | |||
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"hi there. as a wheelchair user it would be usfull to find out infomation about swinger clubs. ie acsess,ramps. the loos no go areas ect. i did just post on the forum asking members for any clubs that can accomadte. there is very little info online. only found one club in birmingham that advertises wheelchair friendly. but live in hope "I know it's a pain, but couldn't you email the clubs you are interested in + ask? Not only would you be getting the info you need but you would be able to share that with others who ask | |||
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"I can see pros and cons for the idea of a disability sub forum. It will make it easier to find old topics of a similar nature and potentially make contact with others in similar situations. As an archive, that’s probably very useful. The downside is that only those users who actively visit the disability sub forum would see new posts for help or info. You potentially miss a wider audience of both disabled and non disabled users who may have valuable contributions to make. It’s possible that even disabled users won’t regularly visit those forum posts once they have the info they need. Posting on the main forum may also educate others on the issues at hand who otherwise wouldn’t visit the sub forum. So, not saying it’s a bad idea, but the division could be problematic. Perhaps a place to archive old threads of this nature for easy access ? To be honest I wasn't really thinking about it being to look up information. From the other thread the idea came from being able to talk generally to others + that a lot of people wouldn't necessarily want to give specifics in public. It was more of a meeting (online not meets) + general chat around a sensitive subject area" I agree whilst I dont worry about giving details of my 'issues' it would be nice to chat to people in similar situations. It can be quite difficult to explain to some people that although I am terminally ill with IPF (Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis) and I am disabled in that I have to use ambulatory oxygen when I am walking around I am actually quite healthy in fact I bet my BP Heart rate and general health is better than the majority of 50 year old men in the country. I'm certainly not in danger of dying on anyone during a meet. Yes, I am dying and if I'm lucky I might get another 2 or even 3 years...then again I might not but I will have plenty of warning before I get to that point because when I start getting close to it I will become more and more short of breath til I start struggling to breathe even with the oxygen. I dont know if disabled people would be more likely to meet but at least I think they'd be more understanding i.e. not say awwww thats sad then run away at a high speed lol. I'm not saying it would be easier to meet someone on a disabled forum just that it might be nice to chat to people in similar situations and discuss the issues we face being 'different' to the majority of others on here without them disappearing as soon as they discover you are disabled. | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ?" I don't think it'd be a question of being allowed as such, it would be a forum for anyone with questions or information regarding disability in swinging to share & talk. | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? " The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. Only the subject is exclusive (health/disability), not who can use it. Every member of Fab is welcome just as they are on other areas of the forum. Being a carer is related to health/disability even if it is not your own. In fact I would say carers browsing the posts could be in a good position to provide some useful help + advice to other members | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. " I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? " No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part + cut off the second which said "Only the subject is exclusive (health/disability), not who can use it. Every member of Fab is welcome just as they are on other areas of the forum." Basically a separate area/message board, just like they have the Bikers + Camping one at the bottom of the forum. It helps keep all health/disability posts together in one place for easy browsing + keeps it out of the main areas where everyone is browsing for a little more privacy (i.e Lounge, Swingers Chat, etc). That way only the people who are interested in posts about health/disability for whatever reason would go into that section of the forum | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part " I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it. | |||
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"raising awareness of issues that people face may help to destigmatise those who are differently abled. The biggest problem is ignorance. Anything that can educate, inform and enlighten others has to be a good thing. I'm all for it!" Seconded! | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. Only the subject is exclusive (health/disability), not who can use it. Every member of Fab is welcome just as they are on other areas of the forum. Being a carer is related to health/disability even if it is not your own. In fact I would say carers browsing the posts could be in a good position to provide some useful help + advice to other members " | |||
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"raising awareness of issues that people face may help to destigmatise those who are differently abled. The biggest problem is ignorance. Anything that can educate, inform and enlighten others has to be a good thing. I'm all for it!" Hear, hear! | |||
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, at the moment. | |||
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"A few people have been talking on the forums about the idea of a new message board where swingers with health issues and disabilities can talk and support each other. https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/896805 I thought this would be a good place to highlight the idea. Great idea. I keep wondering quite how I’ll explain my chronic pain when at a club for the first time (which is soon)! "  | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it. "Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there. Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it. People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not. I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it.
Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there.
Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it.
People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not.
I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born"This is exactly as I envisaged it, somewhere where people can share as much or as little as they wish, ask questions & make friends. | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it.
Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there.
Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it.
People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not.
I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born
This is exactly as I envisaged it, somewhere where people can share as much or as little as they wish, ask questions & make friends."MrD We have always seemed to be on the same page | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it.
Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there.
Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it.
People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not.
I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born
This is exactly as I envisaged it, somewhere where people can share as much or as little as they wish, ask questions & make friends.
MrD
We have always seemed to be on the same page " | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it.
Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there.
Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it.
People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not.
I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born"It seems most posters agree so the only thing left is to ask how we get the site management to set up the disability forum? I for one think the sooner the better | |||
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"Would carers be allowed in ? The idea is to have a small area that people can discuss health/disability "related" issues that may be more personal or sensitive, outside of the main forum. I think I am missing something, do you mean a closed forum ? No not a closed forum. You only quote my first part I did and I did that for a reason. Privacy and personal issues keep getting mentioned as if it was not going to be seen by everyone on the forum. Hence my question. No matter where it is posted on the forum , everyone will be able to see it, including non members so the privacy bit about personal issues that people may not want anyone to see won't come into it.
Yes it is important for people to understand that. All I meant was that people would typically only go to that section of the forum because they want to + it wouldn't be shoved in front of the whole of Fab on the main forum where (I believe) more people would read it just because it's there.
Its more a case of a "quiet corner" but everyone can still see, read + post to it.
People share as much or as little as they wish, this thread is a good example because some have stated their problems while others have not.
I think people who frequent that section will get to know other "regulars" and could start to develop closer relationships. Hence the support element is born
It seems most posters agree so the only thing left is to ask how we get the site management to set up the disability forum?
I for one think the sooner the better "I'm hoping they'll take notice of the thread at some point? | |||
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"So glad I checked the forum. This is a wonderful idea. Count me in. It’s so good to see others on fab, able to be open about disability." Exactly
Hopefully they will take notice of this + start it. I might wait for support to grow + then contact the site admin about it.
I would be willing to act as an additional moderator on the disability section of the forum if it helps with extra workload as I would be frequenting it often | |||
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"So glad I checked the forum. This is a wonderful idea. Count me in. It’s so good to see others on fab, able to be open about disability. Exactly
Hopefully they will take notice of this + start it. I might wait for support to grow + then contact the site admin about it.
I would be willing to act as an additional moderator on the disability section of the forum if it helps with extra workload as I would be frequenting it often "I'd moderate too if it would help, I really think this is important, a way to make the site more inclusive. | |||
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"So glad I checked the forum. This is a wonderful idea. Count me in. It’s so good to see others on fab, able to be open about disability. Exactly
Hopefully they will take notice of this + start it. I might wait for support to grow + then contact the site admin about it.
I would be willing to act as an additional moderator on the disability section of the forum if it helps with extra workload as I would be frequenting it often
I'd moderate too if it would help, I really think this is important, a way to make the site more inclusive." | |||
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A big issue for her was privacy, with meets having to be planned between carers lol
Will
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"I would gladly use this if it came off. As a paramedic I often see how people are marginalised due to illness or disability and I suspect in fab/swinging terms its even harder. Id be more than happy meeting people regardless of disability or illness in fact I have once. I had to use her hoist to get her into her bed which was fun to say the least A big issue for her was privacy, with meets having to be planned between carers lol
Will
x"Well she would be in good hands | |||
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"I would gladly use this if it came off. As a paramedic I often see how people are marginalised due to illness or disability and I suspect in fab/swinging terms its even harder. Id be more than happy meeting people regardless of disability or illness in fact I have once. I had to use her hoist to get her into her bed which was fun to say the least A big issue for her was privacy, with meets having to be planned between carers lol
Will
x"That's brilliant! I love that there's people (those with disabilities and those not) that don't let it be a reason not to have fun | |||
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"Having recently been in a thread where a fully grown man thought it was funny to call Diane Abbott a retard, it would be just nice to go somewhere where the language (if nothing else) is automatically just a tad more considered. " Wow. A real peach of a person there.... | |||
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"Having recently been in a thread where a fully grown man thought it was funny to call Diane Abbott a retard, it would be just nice to go somewhere where the language (if nothing else) is automatically just a tad more considered. " What a horrible man, him not you x | |||
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"Having recently been in a thread where a fully grown man thought it was funny to call Diane Abbott a retard, it would be just nice to go somewhere where the language (if nothing else) is automatically just a tad more considered. What a horrible man, him not you x" He was just a middle-aged tv, but people like that can literally be anyone. I was a carer for over 10 years and went out with one afterwards too. The care world itself can be pretty crazy and even prejudiced at times, but at least it's free from crap like that. It's the attitude to life that defines people imv. | |||
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"Think thats a great idea be nice to have somewhere to post about issues that swingers with disabilities may have "if peopke arent familiar with Quest swingers club in Leeds, it us all level access and wheelchair friendly, the owner has MS and is in a wheelchair. Clubs do not tend to consider disabilities *either seen or hidden) in the pay out of their ptenises | |||
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"Think thats a great idea be nice to have somewhere to post about issues that swingers with disabilities may have if peopke arent familiar with Quest swingers club in Leeds, it us all level access and wheelchair friendly, the owner has MS and is in a wheelchair. Clubs do not tend to consider disabilities *either seen or hidden) in the pay out
of their ptenises" | |||
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"Be great idea Could also split into mental support group.. lots of possiblities. Lots of helpful caring folk on here I had 2 lovely chaps keeping me positive this week.. made a difference" Definitely! Mental health problems are a big issue and genuine support is a great thing. But being accused of taking advantage of vulnerable adult I’m very weary of people. | |||
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"A few people have been talking on the forums about the idea of a new message board where swingers with health issues and disabilities can talk and support each other. https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/896805 I thought this would be a good place to highlight the idea. " Gets my support | |||
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"If it helps just 1 person then thats awesome. " It should help a lot more but I see your point. It's been a helpful thread already | |||
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"This is so admirable and a wonderful idea. I would like to add that I'm happy to transport a disabled person to any local meet given time and notice and I say this because people this of this as a cliche but I would be happy to help those who actually need help. I would not be involved at all during any meet. Please feel free to private message me. Anyone who is disabled will of course have a badge to confirm." That is a very nice offer!
See this is a great example of why a disability specific message board would be great... ADMINS please take note
I personally do not feel there is a need for a separate mental health section, most people with physical disabilities also suffer things like depression.
Realistically for a site the size of Fab I do not believe that there would be enough people using separate physical and mental health sections to warrant the extra work, server loads and costs.
At the end of the day a disability is a disability, regardless of physical or mental and we would all be here to support each other | |||
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"I was hoping for more information on the physical access to clubs etc not emotional. On my dark day the thing I want is someone being nice to me purely because they think that on a good day I’d wanna meet up and bang. I know it seem a bit bitter twisted maybe but it’s happened to me on more they one occasion and I’ve ended up feeling worse about myself after explaining I wasn’t interested and never hearing from them again.... After all this is a swinging site." It is a swinging site, however lots of people use it as a forum for friendship and chat. I don't meet for sex, it's nothing to do with my disability, I just got bored with doing so. I still log in daily for the forums, to chat to my friends and see what events are on in the clubs. The club review section on here has all the links to the clubs websites. All the information about accessibility can be found by calling the club. Don't think that because you don't want to have sex you aren't a valued member of Fab. | |||
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"I was hoping for more information on the physical access to clubs etc not emotional. On my dark day the thing I want is someone being nice to me purely because they think that on a good day I’d wanna meet up and bang. I know it seem a bit bitter twisted maybe but it’s happened to me on more they one occasion and I’ve ended up feeling worse about myself after explaining I wasn’t interested and never hearing from them again.... After all this is a swinging site. It is a swinging site, however lots of people use it as a forum for friendship and chat. I don't meet for sex, it's nothing to do with my disability, I just got bored with doing so. I still log in daily for the forums, to chat to my friends and see what events are on in the clubs. The club review section on here has all the links to the clubs websites. All the information about accessibility can be found by calling the club. Don't think that because you don't want to have sex you aren't a valued member of Fab." Ive not managed to find information on most websites so normally just call. Just thought it would be nice to get hints and tips, having to nip to the local Mcdonalds because the club doesn’t have wheelchair accessible toilets can be quite embarrassing 
Personally my main goal here is sex, if I make friends along the then that an added bonus. Without active members the site wouldn’t be the fabulous place it is today ALL members valuable in there own way. | |||
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