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"Vanilla" girlfriend wants to go to a club.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My girlfriend has zero swinging experience but is intrigued about a swingers parties and would like to go to one.

I suppose my question is were is the most friendly non pushy place to go. I really do not want her to be scared off.

We live in London. Thanks for your help in advance.

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

Ab Fabs couples night on a Saturday is a good place to start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My girlfriend has zero swinging experience but is intrigued about a swingers parties and would like to go to one.

I suppose my question is were is the most friendly non pushy place to go. I really do not want her to be scared off.

We live in London. Thanks for your help in advance."
let her go then but if she's vanilla tell her to take strawberries

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By *edcaseCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Xtasia....West brom..just like a normal club aswell with a dj etc x

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I like JayDees near St. Neots.

Friendly place that doesn't take itself too seriously. A dressed club, no membership and £21 entry.

If you don't like it you haven't spent a fortune

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Xtasia....West brom..just like a normal club aswell with a dj etc x"

Totally agree! There are many great places!

If she wants to feel like she is in a high street nightclub but with a naughty twist, the you can't go wrong with Xtasia!

If she wants to see hot fucking action, and orgies etcetera, then I'm sure you can get this at any club up and down the country. And in London, you've got more than your fair share down there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try Eureka. It was our first club as non-swingers. On a Saturday night it's like a naughty nightclub where the swinging isn't too in your face.

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

I would agree with Eureka. Otherwise I would suggest the Vanilla Alternative. It is very like a normal club. Very classy. I would think it would be a perfect first club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd try Le Boudoir with her, feels a bit like a nice bar rather than a swingers club so maybe a good place for a first introduction to the scene.

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By *elticcurlsWoman
over a year ago

london

I'd agree with Le Boudoir or AbFabs being a good option for a newbie. Wherever you go, I'd suggest going on their Couple Only night (usually Saturday) so as not to be overwhelmed by single guys. Best of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been to both chams and Xtasia with non swinging friends who wanted to tick it off the bucket list, both we friendly and inviting

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"I'd agree with Le Boudoir or AbFabs being a good option for a newbie. Wherever you go, I'd suggest going on their Couple Only night (usually Saturday) so as not to be overwhelmed by single guys. Best of luck."

Yes, good advice. Couples nights are a lot less pressured. She is unlikely to relax if followed around by the wanking dead!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not far from you and have been to VA and Eureka daytime.

VA is about 1 1/2 hours away so really needs an overnight, we stay at wyboston lakes which is a nice weekend away anyway,.

VA is very relaxed and non pressured in the bar area, nothing scary or pressured, not in your face.

The play area are clean and open, so you feel safe but they are darkly lit so you can be intimate without being on display.

Eureka is by brands hatch, so much closer.

We did enjoy our day time there but did find the single men to intrusive to allow us to relax fully and play.

You also have pleasures near Maidstone, not been but seems positive from reviews.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleasures near maidstone is a good plaace to start, saturday nights are couples night, plenty of good people to chat to and play if you and the girlfriend fancy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hydro near to Heathrow, it's very friendly it's open from 10.30am until 8.pm tomorrow and it's very friendly and a good place to take her for the first time

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"Pleasures near maidstone is a good plaace to start, saturday nights are couples night, plenty of good people to chat to and play if you and the girlfriend fancy it"

Pleasures is on our bucket list for this year. Is there a good mix of different people there? We don't go for body beautiful but don't want to be the youngest either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love vanilla in my coffee

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By *howdown1Man
over a year ago

Wellingborough

same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy Valentine's suckers

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple. "

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead. "
you shouldn't generalise though and getting personal in forums is frowned upon many here wank so its actually a factual statement to call them wankers really

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By *ovis69 and green eyesMan
over a year ago

valleys


"My girlfriend has zero swinging experience but is intrigued about a swingers parties and would like to go to one.

I suppose my question is were is the most friendly non pushy place to go. I really do not want her to be scared off.

We live in London. Thanks for your help in advance."

Xtasia is a very good place, like a night club & you don't have to play if you don't want to.

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead. you shouldn't generalise though and getting personal in forums is frowned upon many here wank so its actually a factual statement to call them wankers really "

As a couple, the amount and behaviour of single men has a big impact on our enjoyment of a night. That is why it is mentioned so much

We go to a club with a steam room. Unfortunately I rarely can actually use it because 99% of the time as soon as I go in men are in and out to check for action so it never gets hot in there. I tend to go for a swim and no one disturbs Mr! I have also seen it where there was a corridor to the ladies with blokes standing against the walls each side wanking so it is uncomfortable squeezing through just to get to the loo. That was nasty.

We haven't really had any major issues with single men but behaviour such as above or being constantly followed really puts a dampner on the night for me. It isn't sexy feeling like prey.

On the other hand we have chatted to some very respectful men too all of whom would have been very upset to be put in the same category as the creeps.

Are we not meant to mention the issue in case it offends? Is there a more political correct word to use to refer to the troublesome sort of male?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple. "

Because this shows you to have such a nice attitude

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Trademark .

..play nicely please xx

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I'd start her with a couples only night.

The important thing is are you ready. she maybe like a kid in a candy store and want everything she sees and may well get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had both swung before but took our first club night easy. Went to abfab's on a Saturday, looked around and decided not to play with anyone else. Was a good call, have been back for lots of naughty fun since but having a night just to suss the place out was good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do love a vanilla slice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all very much for the advise. I'll look into everything that has been suggested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead. you shouldn't generalise though and getting personal in forums is frowned upon many here wank so its actually a factual statement to call them wankers really

As a couple, the amount and behaviour of single men has a big impact on our enjoyment of a night. That is why it is mentioned so much

We go to a club with a steam room. Unfortunately I rarely can actually use it because 99% of the time as soon as I go in men are in and out to check for action so it never gets hot in there. I tend to go for a swim and no one disturbs Mr! I have also seen it where there was a corridor to the ladies with blokes standing against the walls each side wanking so it is uncomfortable squeezing through just to get to the loo. That was nasty.

We haven't really had any major issues with single men but behaviour such as above or being constantly followed really puts a dampner on the night for me. It isn't sexy feeling like prey.

On the other hand we have chatted to some very respectful men too all of whom would have been very upset to be put in the same category as the creeps.

Are we not meant to mention the issue in case it offends? Is there a more political correct word to use to refer to the troublesome sort of male? "
" the horny ones" maybe or "the major contributors to the running of club "maybe but surely if something is uncomfortable the club sorts it out ?? No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable and at your end surely all you have to say is right guys I need to get to toilet please excuse me

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead. you shouldn't generalise though and getting personal in forums is frowned upon many here wank so its actually a factual statement to call them wankers really

As a couple, the amount and behaviour of single men has a big impact on our enjoyment of a night. That is why it is mentioned so much

We go to a club with a steam room. Unfortunately I rarely can actually use it because 99% of the time as soon as I go in men are in and out to check for action so it never gets hot in there. I tend to go for a swim and no one disturbs Mr! I have also seen it where there was a corridor to the ladies with blokes standing against the walls each side wanking so it is uncomfortable squeezing through just to get to the loo. That was nasty.

We haven't really had any major issues with single men but behaviour such as above or being constantly followed really puts a dampner on the night for me. It isn't sexy feeling like prey.

On the other hand we have chatted to some very respectful men too all of whom would have been very upset to be put in the same category as the creeps.

Are we not meant to mention the issue in case it offends? Is there a more political correct word to use to refer to the troublesome sort of male? " the horny ones" maybe or "the major contributors to the running of club "maybe but surely if something is uncomfortable the club sorts it out ?? No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable and at your end surely all you have to say is right guys I need to get to toilet please excuse me "

That club was very loud so I would have had to shout.

We love Gems which don't have a couples night, it is the club I relax the most at. I have got extremely naughty there, mainly because I feel safe. The owners really look after you, the only issue we had there was the uninvited hand wandering of a couple in the hot tub. The men really do behave and Harry and Ian aren't the type to put up with any crap

By the way, the clubs wouldn't run without the females, otherwise they would be gay clubs and easier to find. You can moan that men have to pay more but you wouldn't go at all if there were no ladies. Supply and demand. I don't see the point of moaning as it won't be changing anytime soon.

However if all single men were respectful you would get more women attending. If more women attended clubs wouldnt have to drop their prices to attract them. So really if you sorted out the behaviour of the single blokes you may get the equality of cost you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Xtasia....West brom..just like a normal club aswell with a dj etc x"

definitely would go with this as there is a distinct separation between the club and the playrooms...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead. "

This is true. As a single guy I'm slightly put off clubs by other single men. I talk to a lot of couples who tell me all sorts of stories of their own personal experiences. I now only go to clubs if I have arranged a meet before hand

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By *expuss2015Woman
over a year ago

Planet Sex

Why not read some of the reviews of the clubs under the Club section. That will also give you some idea what the club is like from the reviews.

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead.

This is true. As a single guy I'm slightly put off clubs by other single men. I talk to a lot of couples who tell me all sorts of stories of their own personal experiences. I now only go to clubs if I have arranged a meet before hand "

If I was a single bloke I would direct my anger at the wanking dead, not those who complain about dodgy behaviour. I am not looking to meet men but in clubs have chatted to some friendly, respectful men who seemed lovely. Some unfortunately are not so lovely.

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think


"Hydro near to Heathrow, it's very friendly it's open from 10.30am until 8.pm tomorrow and it's very friendly and a good place to take her for the first time"

Kestrels Hydro is naturist during the day so wouldn't recommend unless the OP's girlfriend is happy being naked

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

For a first time couple I would certainly suggest Xtasia, a normal nightclub with a very reasonably priced licensed bar. Excellent public and private playrooms.

From London Marylebone you can purchase very cheap tickets to Birmingham and then it's a few stops on the tram. The premier inn right next door used to do discount rates for club visitors too. Really can't be beaten for a first timer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead.

This is true. As a single guy I'm slightly put off clubs by other single men. I talk to a lot of couples who tell me all sorts of stories of their own personal experiences. I now only go to clubs if I have arranged a meet before hand

If I was a single bloke I would direct my anger at the wanking dead, not those who complain about dodgy behaviour. I am not looking to meet men but in clubs have chatted to some friendly, respectful men who seemed lovely. Some unfortunately are not so lovely. "

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"same old story. some couples just slag off single blokes. yet forget a lot of couples have bad attitudes. wanking dead comments dont show you as polite swinging couple.

I'm not slagging off all single men, just a certain type. If you are feeling sensitive about that then why? Most decent blokes realise that there is a certain crowd who deserve to be called the wanking dead.

This is true. As a single guy I'm slightly put off clubs by other single men. I talk to a lot of couples who tell me all sorts of stories of their own personal experiences. I now only go to clubs if I have arranged a meet before hand "

Totally agree with this. I do not think the person earlier was targeting single men as a whole, but typing a select that go round that make it uncomfortable for some people, and that's not just couples.

There are single males, that act alone, that make it uncomfortable too. And yes we've established that couples and single ladies can be pests as well.

When I was a single male, I chose not to be at the clubs, because I saw as what the comment was earlier, the wanking dead.

Totally understand that they are at a swinging club for a reason and when they pay premium they want some action, but it's like anything. Understand what people want and then act on it.

The fact is that many people don't on mixed nights, so minimising risk it makes sense to go on couples night.

I was once in a swimming pool and a woman came from behind and started to grope me when I was with my partner at the time. After being caught off guard and politely declining, she continued to be pushy and grab parts that she shouldn't have. So I fully understand the dilemma and unfortunate tag single men have. But as a single male I could see this.

And equally as a couple, I've experienced the woman who thought just because she was a woman, she had the right to do what she wanted.

So it does cut both ways. But the thread is about a friendly, non-pushy place to visit.

The bottom line is there isnt a guarantee on this, wherever they visit, what night and whether it is mixed/couples only.

But it's advice and guidance to try and mimimise the risk of this happening and the fact appears that it's less of a risk on a couples night.

However, if it was weighed up that there's typically one couples night to 2, 3, 4 or more mixed nights then maybe the stats don't weigh up in favour of a mixed night. After all if an incident happened two out of eight at a mixed night and two out of two at a couples night, then it would suggest that a couples night isn't the best night to go on.

But based on our experience, we would agree and say a couples night definitely has different dynamics and feels more relaxed and less pressured. Though I would have thought this would be obvious without the need for people to feel targeted or insulted. I'm sure that's not the case.

We certainly have no desire to offend, we respect that people are looking for different things and would hope that people appreciate we may not be on the same sheet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ab Fabs on a Saturday night as others have already mentioned or perhaps the The Playgrounds parties at Radlett which are also couples and single women a couple of weekends a month.

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

How did she find out about it?

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By *imnextdoorMan
over a year ago

Redruth

Jaydees st Neots

Far enough away from you so she don't feel like it's to close to home

And close enough so you can revisit another time

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