FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging club nerves

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We are enjoying our new lifestyle very much and are intrested in going to a club.

But our nerves are getting in the way.

Is it as scary as we imagine lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only went for the first time a month or so ago. I was very apprehensive about even though I trusted A implicitly to look after me given he had been before. I was too nervous to play but had a great time just meeting people and exploring the club (Ab Fabs). No really did mean no.

Find what seems the right club for yourselves and perhaps go with a similar idea of having a good social.

Going through the front door the first time was the most nerve racking bit for me.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same for us

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"We are enjoying our new lifestyle very much and are intrested in going to a club.

But our nerves are getting in the way.

Is it as scary as we imagine lol

nope..... I always equate going to the club in the same way that you would go to a pub, where you can just sit and talk to people and let your hair down....

the biggest thing is walking thru does doors for the first time, everything after that is a breeze...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we was a bit worried when we first went to a club, but once your through the door you will see there is nothing to worry about, you will have eachother to turn to not that you will need any protecting, just go with an open mind and enjoy, there is no rule saying you have to play and remember no means no,

some cples don't play on first visit but just enjoy the open social side,

go for it and enjoy you wont look back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are enjoying our new lifestyle very much and are intrested in going to a club.

But our nerves are getting in the way.

Is it as scary as we imagine lol

No it isn't scary at all .

It's what you want it to be , you are in charge of that which you seek from it .

You will love it

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

It's easy to say "don't worry" but we remember our first visit very well, and also the number of times we drove past too scared to make a he move.

However, once we did pluck up the courage (about 3 years ago) we realised that there really was nothing to be worried about. It's a relaxed and safe environment and nobody will force you to do anything that you don't want to do . You can watch, soft swing, have sex in public or in private, or simply chat to like minded people.

Enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for your thoughts all.we are sure its only a matter of time lol before we do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are enjoying our new lifestyle very much and are intrested in going to a club.

But our nerves are getting in the way.

Is it as scary as we imagine lol

It is the nerve racking the first time... I had to take a friend with me my first time.. But I had a few drinks and loved it!

The second time I went alone but, got talking to a lovely couple so arranged to meet them there. Also a very good night

go for it, you won't look back

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

Imagine you like karaoke and a friend whose never been asks you about it. You would say it's a good night out in a pub or wherever, no-one has to sing if they don't want to, not everyone is glamorous or young, but everyone has a good time. If you go a few times you might decide to sing.

For "sing" substitute "swing" lol.

My OH says that when we started in April of last year she thought it would be a treat for me. Now she knows that the females have the power and often the most fun.

Any good club worth its name employs hosts who know how to look after newbies. Don't wait too long; just go.

Him

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By *allyandJonCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We can empathise it took us years to gather the courage but there really is nothing to fear it's ordinary folk in a laid back surroundings and every night is different and there's always something to discuss. Wish ed have done it years ago and you make your own biundaries and mzke a slow start.You'd enjoy chameleons it's not far give it a go were going on the 3rd april

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a question i often ask people in a club is 'what did you think a swingers club was before you got involved in the lifestyle' - i used to think it was a free for all orgy - people shagging everywhere and anywhere an everybody - how wrong was i - they are a place to meet like minded people - where if you want you can go to a playroom and have some sexy fun or go and spectate - or you can choose to stay in the lounge/bar area and chat -

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all, thanks for all your lovely responses. This is the Mrs, I'm still not sure about it. I get so nervous on a social meet, let alone walking into a club.

Still If anyone told me seven months ago that I would be doing what I'm doing now I would have called them crazy. Just need to get these nerves under wraps x

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I was exactly the same the first time Mr took me to a club.

I felt sick with nerves, but it loved it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was exactly the same the first time Mr took me to a club.

I felt sick with nerves, but it loved it

i used to be like that - now i get excited about club visits

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I was exactly the same the first time Mr took me to a club.

I felt sick with nerves, but it loved it

i used to be like that - now i get excited about club visits

Me too! I've even been a couple of times alone as he wasn't able to go, had a great time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember the first time I went to a club, took 90 mins to get there then I stood outside for about an hour then turned round and went home

I was so scared to walk through that door, I had no idea what to expect, I though it would be a full on orgy as soon as I walked through the door and I would be expected to just shag everyone

I went back a few weeks later and actually made it through the door

I had a really bad experience with a guy which wasn't good for my first visit and it put me of clubs for a long time, I now use them regular and I enjoy them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'll go to my first club this year. It makes me a it queazy thinking about it.

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi all, thanks for all your lovely responses. This is the Mrs, I'm still not sure about it. I get so nervous on a social meet, let alone walking into a club.

Still If anyone told me seven months ago that I would be doing what I'm doing now I would have called them crazy. Just need to get these nerves under wraps x"

We were the same with nerves....but we thought we'd always wonder if we didn't try it, so went for it.

It's just like a pub with extras...and it's quite strange as you know why you are there but it's not all about sex.

We just enjoyed the environment, having chats with different people and then wandering round watching.

Its nowhere near as bad as what you imagine it to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only been to 2 clubs and enjoyed my time at both of them, They had a bar, A seating area and people chatting to each other just like most normal clubs with the playing area being separate,

One thing I did notice was that couples tend to chat to couples or single Women more unless you stand out as a single Male or the single male approaches them, I don't but that's just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hs the nerves first time we went, it's totally normal to have them. Luckily we bumped into an utterly amazing couple who didn't try to jump into our knickers, instead just made us laugh, showed us about and made us feel at ease. If it wasn't for them I don't think we would be as happy as we are now!! I do hope they know who they are!!

But we like to be the same as them now, and help show people around, ease them in, and just have fun, with no pressure of play. Done it for a few people at _tasia and are always willing to do it again. So if anybody fancies trying it, but doesn't feel up to doing it alone, let us know and we will help you out if we can!

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm worried coz i've rejected loads of guys who i know go to clubs, what will it be like if i see them there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ab Fabs is the only club I've been to so am looking forward to attending some more over next few months.

I'll be nervous, I always am, but it soon eases off and I start to relax & enjoy the night. I'm still a little unsure about the amount of attention I receive so I tend to suss out the scenario in my head beforehand, helps me anyway.

Take the plunge, you have nothing to lose & maybe all to gain...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its nice to read that you all had the same feelings as we do now.

Thankyou guys x.

I hope someone would want to play with us if we went lol

Oh no another worry lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ab Fabs is the only club I've been to so am looking forward to attending some more over next few months.

Take the plunge, you have nothing to lose & maybe all to gain...

If you ever feel like trying _tasia then let me know, I'll hold your hand for a while

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We sat outside our first club visit for over an hour full of nerves and stress that all dissapeared once we got inside

As others have said it's like walking into a bar honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First time I went was so nervous . I phoned the club had long chat they put me at ease .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was exactly the same the first time Mr took me to a club.

I felt sick with nerves, but it loved it

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By *ub... girlWoman
over a year ago

worcester

I to would like to go to a club but don't have the nerve to go alone especially for the first time

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By *oonlightWoman
over a year ago

Lytham St Annes

One thing that will help for a first visit is to check the club you are thinking about's dress down policy before you make it to the door - some have everyone fully dressed in the bar area at least till a given time but others are 'dress down' from when you go in - this can really help people get in the mood but, if you're not expecting it, can be a bit of a shock x

Other than that think whether you want to explore the club quietly on your own (turn up early and the staff will usually give you a friendly tour and calm your nerves) or slip in unnoticed on a busy party night - mostly relax, enjoy just being there and have fun with anything else that happens xx

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By *tasiaCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Going to quickly add why we felt "Flirts" was such a good idea for the club. Since we took over Xtasia 2.5 years ago, we've built up files of over 4,500 applications to join the club, who have yet failed to attend!! Its a massive number. Many might well be written by folks at 2am, a little worse for wear, chatting about their sexual wish lists, but most seem to be genuine applications from people wishing to come along at some point soon. So, why don't they? We're guessing that nerves is the most important reason, the hardest bit we always tell folks is getting themselves to our front door. If they can do that, then the rest of the night is easy, and they nearly always leave wondering why on earth they were worried in the first place. However it was from this we decided Flirts might work...as a pre-club bar, where folks can just wander in without the "Stigma/Fear Factor" of a club. Its proving to be a good idea already, last night for example we had 6 totally new couples in, who might well have not made it to the club. We'd recommend looking at "pre-club" social meets at a bar, before moving on to a club, to get to know others, semi break the ice, take the first steps. We actually used to do this ourselves as a couple for Chams 15 years ago, lol, and had a great conversion rate. Maybe clubs could arrange something with a local pub, a corner takeover, A-Z on the table, and put a staff member in to act as ice breaker. It might have considerable benefit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I to would like to go to a club but don't have the nerve to go alone especially for the first time "

If you ever want to go to any of the west mids clubs give me a shout I'd be happy to go in with you show you round till you find your feet, genuine offer x

I domt drive so can only help with local clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its nice to read that you all had the same feelings as we do now.

Thankyou guys x.

I hope someone would want to play with us if we went lol

Oh no another worry lol"

People will definitely want to play with you, so hot!!!!

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By *ub... girlWoman
over a year ago

worcester

"I to would like to go to a club but don't have the nerve to go alone especially for the first time

If you ever want to go to any of the west mids clubs give me a shout I'd be happy to go in with you show you round till you find your feet, genuine offer x

I domt drive so can only help with local clubs

Thank you for that offer xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If ever we get the nerve, we could all go together...... I might be in my 80s by the time that happens lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its nice to read that you all had the same feelings as we do now.

Thankyou guys x.

I hope someone would want to play with us if we went lol

Oh no another worry lol

People will definitely want to play with you, so hot!!!!"

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By *_jkCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

First time we went to a club we almost turned round. Took a big deep breath at the door and went in. Love it now and cant see what we were worried about.

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By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

"We are enjoying our new lifestyle very much and are intrested in going to a club.

But our nerves are getting in the way.

Is it as scary as we imagine lol

Nerves is all part of the thrill

You be fine

go for it xxxx

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

First time we went - really nervous! 2nd time we went slightly less nervous, more excited, 3rd time about even, and from then on mostly excited and a little bit nervous - the butterflies are part of the fun, don't know who will be there, or how we will feel or what will happen. It always feels different, but so far everyone we've met have been friendly and easy to talk/play with if we wanted to, or to say thanks but no if we didn't want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The nervousness will disappear as soon as go through the door in my experience as you'll be welcomed with opened arms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If ever we get the nerve, we could all go together...... I might be in my 80s by the time that happens lol x"
_tasia in west brom is perfect, with flirts in afternoon to get to know other clubbers...great idea by paul & flirt ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went for my first time last week. I was a little nervous but once inside it was nothing to worry so much about. Had a great time and I'm looking forward to going back

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By *aul_the_nudistMan
over a year ago

WREXHAM

Im hoping to go this Friday..Fetish at Townhouse. Dont know if I have the nerve to go on own....

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By *awkesWoman
over a year ago

Corwen

I only go to clubs...can't really see myself meeting outside the safety of a club and a friendly no pressure atmosphere. I've met lovely friends which means I never have to go alone ( although I did once) and I've always had a lovely social experience.

I really wish you happy times if you decide to go because I find myself looking forward to each club I go to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all, thanks for all your lovely responses. This is the Mrs, I'm still not sure about it. I get so nervous on a social meet, let alone walking into a club.

Still If anyone told me seven months ago that I would be doing what I'm doing now I would have called them crazy. Just need to get these nerves under wraps x"

Maybe try attending a free social. Nobody dresses down, no play takes place, it is literally a social. Then there is no pressure to play regardless, which can ease your nerves further.

Pretty much everything everyone has said is what we (as hosts at a club) say to new people. We also suggest that nervous people try to arrive as early and close to open time as they can as that gives them opportunity to get in, look round and settle in as best they can before people arrive so they aren't entering a club full of people

Em and Phil xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First time I went was so nervous . I phoned the club had long chat they put me at ease . "

You were nervous and shy! I remember! Xxx

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