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my anaconda don't want none if you got kids hun.


Woman in Horley, South East, UK
Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 2 weeks ago

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Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (MM) Men aged 24 to 42 only. Won't meet smokers.

Meeting

Can accommodate. Can travel.

Elle

41 years old
Bi-curious

5'3"  160cm
Fabulous
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
No piercings

Interests

Voyeurism, Toys, Threesomes, Swingers Clubs, Spanking, Soft Swing, SM, Separate Room Swapping, Same Room Swapping, Safe Sex, Role Play, Oral, Cuckolding, Blindfolds, Adult Parties
Bobypositive fat bbw.

Looking for regular causual LOCAL hook up fun, but you have to be able to hold a conversation and be a bit interesting.

Love a weirdo (but like a good amusing weirdo not the kind who like to collect their toe nails clippings.... in a jar.....since they were 12....)

Are you still reading this far?

What did schrodinger have againts cats?

What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Do you wanna go to candy mountain?

What is pretty big and pretty white and could beat a polar bear in a fight?

Will the questions ever end?

Note:I'm not on here a lot cos life and my random hobbies. I pop in and out.

Note 2: if you call me babe/baby, my dear or even worse bae (*shudder*) I won't respond.

Note the third:(geeze how many of these have I got to add!) I'm looking for reasonably local guys to add to my hareem. So i want some connection cos if you can't hold a good convo there is no point meeting up. I will just delete you if you are too far away.

Fourthly: I'm not into meeting quickly. So don't ask to meet on the first message (I will delete you) I need to make sure you are:

1- not a serial killer

2- my kinda guy

3- that you actually realise how fat I am! (I get so many messages saying "you're not fat you're curvy" when they haven't even seen a pic yet!

4- If I want to see your dick I'll hook up with you. Noone wants a dick pick in the first message (I will mother fucking delete you!)

"Only 2 types of people like dick picks. The stright guys who send them and the gay guys who receive them"

And worse of all...

5-that you are not a take that fan

Aparently there's a big take that following on here.

Not into married guys or guys who are playing away without permission #trashy

(Edit: I will only take HER word you have permission)

I don't respond to winks or one word message or "Hey sexy" and for fuck sake don't ask me if I'd like a massage

(Guess what I'll do.....)

******************

You can stop reading this far. If you like.

Use the word wibble to show you bothered reading this far...

Yes they are magical...

Safe sex only.

No cam. Local to the Surrey & East Sussex

I get that some guys aren't confident so if you want help with your profile or an honest opinion on it with feedback let me know. :)

Oh and I have some narly scars... but chicks dig scars right?

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." Willy w

Waggledagger.

"Smeg" Kryton

"This girl will kick your ass in a heart beat if you mess with her" - Bruce Lee

"Funny and pretty" - the Guardian

"Best granddaughter ever" - My Granddad

"She's the real Massiah!" - Brian

"She drinks and knows things" - Tyrion Lannister

"Well built mare with strong appetite" - Horse & Hound