FabSwingers.com: sexyDgirl (59) , Woman in Wormley, Greater London, UK

I thought it was tike to update my update ..after 9 months of being single and a big struggle for me mentally and emotionally..iam finally getting myself bk day by day to who I was before falling in love with someone I gave my heart and soul and my money too from a 6 yrs divorce battle losing everything I had ..I was so in love I didn't think twice about giving all I had even joining fab because I thought he loved me enough to keep him happy ..I had never done it before I met him , but he seemed so proud to be with me and always said I beloned to him..enjoyed taking my pictures..said he loved me and it was the reason I allowed myself to be used in front of him..but over time he hated me more then loved me not sure why ..but iam guessing by the amount of messages I received on here even getting to the too of the hot list he become jealous and soon opened his own account behind my bk to try catch me out..I eventually found out and it killed me knowing from being on a couple profile to him having his own I found myself always going online to see if he was a visa fersa..it killed our relationship because behind my bk he was messaging other girls pretending he thought it was a secret profile that he accused me of opening..when it wasn't..I asked him so many times to delete it because it was causing me really bad anxiety thinking he was chatting to other girls behind my bk which he always denied..but I found our he had even having a threesome when he walked away for the I can't count hoe many like it was a excuse to cheat on me and blame me instead ..after 11 yrs of a roller coaster relationship knowing that I was struggling to hold onto someone I loved so much ..he told me he loved me but also told me he hated me and called me all sorts of names ..I spent all my money which left me with nothing in the end ..and last October he finally let me go just like that without even a goodbye just dissapeard ..pretending he could not charge his phone to then blocking me finally which he did throughout..I always lent him money but he left me begging when I never had any after paying his gear bills ..I always asked him are you cheating and he used to say for fuck sake I said no..but my gut always knew he was lying..I couldn't be myself anymore and I didn't enjoy him wanting to share me only when he was high..in the end I felt I was just for his fun only ..I wanted him to delete fab for me but said only if I had one more threesome..I never believed him because I knew he wanted something else and my money had gone so I was off no use anymore ..I was never his friend on Facebook I was hidden ..a month after he walked away I found out he was with someone new and within a month he asked her to marry him ..and she was added on his Facebook..it broke me because I gave myself away in front of him..I let him treat me like shit, I had to move so many times , he left me in Canada, he spat in my face ..he gave me black eyes on a holiday I paid for from my devorse..and I believed him everytime I questiond him with my doubts ..but 9 months later iam getting myself out of a bad depression , a car accident, losing a job and caring for my son..I couldn't even go outside because of the PTSD I suffered for 11 yrs because I felt guilty for letting myself be used and abused by someone I loved so much..ive now got the best job, got my car fixed and travelling around the country..iam not looking to sleep around I guess I was still looking to see if my ex was still on here but recently deleted his profile ..which in a way made me relize that he has finally met someone that he loved more then he loved me , which I knew deep down I was just a sex fantasy for him ..I allowed myself to let him use me ..maybe he has opened yet another profile with her which after slagging me off to her and her sending me messages slagging my body off..his flying monkey will soon find out all she will be to him is someone he can use until he no longer needs her also like he has done for years as he has told me how many women he slept with and cheated on telling me he would never do that to me because he has all he could ever have and because he loved me ..but its call I wish him and her all the best ..but just to say you lost someone that wanted only you and I never wanted to be shared by other men I only wanted to feel loved by you the way I did for you ..so if you have opened a couple profile then all along your only thinking about yourself your needs ..iam no tramp and please tell your girl to stop slagging my body off as she doesn't know Me as a person only from what your telling her and I know because you slagged all your exs off to me ..and I should have gone by my gut instints and that was I knew you was lying all along and to be called the names you did but at weekends on gear and want meets ..its cool iam in a better place now ..ive moved on iam happy and I've got friends bk that I lost ..i don't feel lonely anymore and iam planning a holiday and many more ..my job has got me bk to that happy place..but to trust anyone now will take me a long time ..thanks to those who have remained my friends the comments about how I look has kept me going because to be put down about my figure destroyed my confidence big time ..take care D

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