FabSwingers.com: BagPuss (53) , Man in Bolton, North West, UK

Age: At the point of knowing better but can’t be bothered to say ‘I told you so’.

Height: 5’10” (6’5” in the right shoes)

Body Type: Dad bod deluxe – soft in the middle, hard where it counts…..Urgh. Still have bits that bend ok.

Location: Your wildest dreams (or just outside of town, will stretch to two buses if your worth it)

About Me:

I’m like a fine wine: slightly fruity, aged to perfection, and best enjoyed with company. I’m here to make friends lol, memories, and maybe some questionable decisions that we can all smile about later. Sex is not guaranteed, if I’m interested then I’ll leave my underpants on the table, fold them 3 times and leave them in your hand bag. I’ll expect them returned, washed and ironed with a hint of lavender.

By day, I’m a mild-mannered professional (think Clark Kent if he had a Costco membership). By night, I’m open-minded, respectful, and down for whatever consensual chaos the universe throws my way. Non consensual my end if that’s your preference.

Looking For:

Fun, laughter, adventure—and genuine people who understand that pineapples don’t belong on pizza. I appreciate good vibes, safe/hard play, singles and couples who don’t mind a bit of sarcasm mixed with their sensuality.

Kinks/Turn-ons:

Laughter, clever banter, people who cry after an orgasm, eye contact across a crowded room…not a prison cell and maybe a little role play (I do a mean pirate impression—“Prepare to be boarded!”)

Hard No’s:

Drama, disrespect, disingenuous people, and people who clap when the plane lands. Also dislike women who aren’t shallow.

Safe Word: Banana Pancakes (in Portuguese)

Humour is probably the only thing I might have that you may think is in some weird way attractive….shit….that even made me laugh sarcastically as I wrote it. My dad thought I was funny, he’d take me out as a kid, point at me and say, ‘is this a joke?’ (Is my punctuation ok?)

God I’d love a shag…even a quickie in a bus shelter near you, you don’t have to come.

Let me go down on you and I’ll hum blue Monday by new order on your clit.

Let’s connect if you’ve got a sense of humour, a sense of adventure, all your own teeth and maybe a hot tub (hot tub is negotiable).

Message me and I’ll play hard to get.

Looking For

Meeting

Interests