FabSwingers.com: John / Gwen (40) , Man in London, Greater London, UK

Pronouns: They / She

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Vanilla Me

""What makes you different or weird, that's your strength."

— Meryl Streep

Hi, when I'm not playing at being a Penguin, I'm Gwen. And/or I'm John. See my gender bit below! I'm married with 2 kids, and (kitchen table) polyamorous. I'm a switch, able to take on either role for the night, or even switch mid scene. And I'm bisexual, of course. Why rule out entire genders?

I work in the pub trade, so expect unsocial hours.

I'm soft spoken, gentle and easy going in my vanilla life. I'm definitely nerdy and love my Dr. Who and Marvel stuff. I also love reading fantasy, urban fantasy and most of all Terry Pratchett.

I'm left wing and have been actively involved in local politics with the Green Party. Unfortunately, that's had to take a backseat recently.

I suffer from depression and social anxiety, but try not to let it hold me back too badly. The last few years have been one victory after another on that front!

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Gender Me

“This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We've got extra pronouns here.”

-Terry Pratchett

So, I'm bi-gender. Sometimes I'm Gwen, sometimes I'm John.

If you meet me out and about, you'll probably meet John. Because it's easier to exist as John. As John I'm fairly male-presenting, but don't feel either male or female really fits properly. John uses they/them pronouns, but won't get upset at non-malicious he/his usage. In an ideal world, I'd probably be John around a third of the time. It's a comfy sweater gender I can exist in without disphoria or euphoria.

If you are lucky enough to meet Gwen, it'll probably be in an LGBT friendly space. Gwen is definitely a woman, and uses she/her, but won't get upset at non-malicious they/them usage. In an ideal world, I'd probably be Gwen two thirds of the time. Being Gwen brings gender euphoria when seen and acknowledged, and just feels right. It's scarier than being John, because the world is a scarier place for those who don't immediately code as a cis man, but it's worth it, because while the darks are darker, the lights are also far lighter.

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Poly Me

“As we grow older and realise more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.”

-P.G. Wodehouse

I've been poly since October 2016. I've been with my wife since April 2004, and with my other long term partner since January 2017.

Paradoxically, while I do consider my wife is my nesting partner and coparent, I relate to a lot of concepts from the Relationship Anarchy model of polyamory, even if I can't quite fit into it fully. I'm really not a fan of labeling things proscriptively, the relationship escalator or generally putting expectations and pressures on relationships. I'd rather let every relationship grow into what it's meant to be.

I also believe in kitchen table poly. Getting on with my metas and my partners getting on with each other seems like a no brainer to me. I don't need everyone to be best friends and one merged family, but a certain level of respect is important.

That said, not every relationship has to be a Relationship. I'm also open to sex and/or kink with friends, and sometimes even strangers!

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Kinky Me

"Once you put your hand in the flame

You can never be the same

There's a certain satisfaction

In a little bit of pain

-Madonna

My natural Dom style is quite nurturing. I want the best for my sub, and ultimately want them to leave satisfied. That doesn't mean I'm not aggressive; if that's what you need, I'll provide it! I can do firm and controlling, or harsh and insulting, but what I really live for is pushing you are far as you are comfortable going, but ultimately leaving you happy and sated. Even if I put you down in a session, I want to help you build yourself up in life in general.

As a sub, I like a firm, forceful Dom(me) who leaves no doubt in my mind that brattiness won't be tolerated. I want to be teased, hurt, degraded and used, then cuddled and stroked and told how good I was and how well I did.

As a sadist, I want to hurt you in all the best ways, and leave marks for you to remember me by. Let's use traffic light check ins... Green lets me know I can keep going harder!

As a masochist, expect to hear Green too. Along with "no, please stop" or laughing. I like to be hurt and I like to beg not to be. My pain reaction is giggling, and I'm all about the odd "green" to reassure my torturer that consent is still very much active!

And as a hedonist, I want to explore everything two bodies can do to each other!

And as a general kinkster, I love pushing boundaries, trying new things, discovering new fetishes. I'm a try everything twice kinda gal.

Most of all though, I want to learn. I want to improve. I want to be the best I can be, whatever we are doing.

Gender/identity specific update:

As Gwen, I will Domme any gender, but I'm only open to subbing for non-men. Overall, Gwen is more of a Domme than a sub.

As John, I'm open to Domming or subbing to any gender. As John I'm pretty switchy and not overly concerned what my role is. It's all fun!

S/m is fun and fine as either, but I'd probably also be a little reluctant to bottom for a man as Gwen. Similar hangups to subbing.

Looking For

Meeting

Interests