FabSwingers.com: J (52) , Woman in barnsley , East Midlands, UK

To save everyone’s time and particularly my arthritic OAP fingers typing the same shit over and over

FAQ answers :

1. No I do not have a hubby sequestered in the attic a la Kathy Bates style in misery.

2. I don’t want to know if you want to shag your mum , you have shagged your mum or you’re still shagging your mum or your dad for that matter, cos that’ll probs be the next one.

3. No I don’t want to tiddle in your gob or have you tiddle in mine , thank you very much.

4. Don’t message me asking if you’ve got a tiny todge, wanting me to bull you up while you knock one out. lol

5. Don’t try to bring my kids into weird shit, that ones not even funny, you should be in rampton if that’s your thing , that’s beyond weird.

Probably time I filled this in so no one feels they’re getting any time wasted. To start with , yes I am single , not being able to accommodate does not mean I’ve a secret hubby stashed away. I just have a personal life that I like to keep private until knowing someone well.

So, erm , I do prefer someone more on the dominant side and to take charge , I spend enough time day to day being the decision maker. I could be one of the nicest people you meet to the right person but along with that comes a smart mouth and the language of a sailor, if I think it I usually end up saying it, have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humour , you could say I’m a bit like marmite ??, you either love it or hate it and there seems to be a lot of people on here do decide they hate it after a taste , so hopefully this will now save anyone ending up seeing there own arse at something I’ve said in jest.

I’ll admit I can be very flaky replying to messages even mid conversation due to , as I’ve said above a busy private life and the fact I’m a 52 year old woman who most days can’t even remember what she went in the other room for or where she put her phone or keys 30 seconds previously, it’s not personal . Anything else , just ask I suppose and I’ll try to type a reply instead of just answering in my head like I seem to often do xx

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