FabSwingers.com: Zee (43) , Woman in Stamford, East Midlands, UK

I do not meet spontaneously...so asking if I'm free today means you haven't read my profile and I will ignore.

If you aren't a site supporter, cannot accommodate and only want to meet in the daytime...respectfully, sod off.

You are a walking 'ick' to me.

I do not add randos as friends. I don't want just any old someone looking at my bits and bobs.

If reading this is too much effort for you, then obviously I'm not interested.

I will not exchange phone numbers...only if we meet and things go well.

I'm looking for charm, manners and a subtle, dark/naughty streak. I do not respond well to vulgarity. Hearing "I want to shove my tongue into your gaping arsehole" from a total stranger is slightly alarming and pretty gross.

Tall, well built guys....

Dark hair with a hairy chest and wide shoulders will get my attention.

I don't like a clean shaven pubic area.

You don't need to be carrying a six pack, 'dad bods' are fine by me.

Not into thin guys at all. Sorry...cry about it all you want, I like what I like.

I'm not overly kinky. I'm quite vanilla actually.

I'm looking for some regular sex with someone reliable.

I want an FWB who can accommodate occasionally.

Any more than 20 miles and it's a no...unless you're spectacularly appealing.

If you've got to travel for hours, it's a definite no...because it's never going to be regular.

I am exceptionally fussy.

I've been here before, I know the score.

I'm a keen blocker so if you find yourself blocked, don't take it personally...you're not my thing and I just know you'll likely keep messaging even if I say no thanks.

I'm not into sexual gymnastics, I'm heavier than I look. I don't want to hear "I'll carry you" or "lift you and fuck you" no... You won't.

What you will do is slip a disc and then you're no good to me.

I'm curvy, a little on the chunkier side, I have a tummy.

I'm very body confident so I'm not offended if a soft, untoned body isn't your thing

I'm short, to the point and love a good sense of humour...if you can't have a full blown conversation, real back and forth... I'm not interested.

I like to really get to know someone before I'd consider meeting.

I'm not spontaneous, I'm more careful these days... So meeting tonight or tomorrow is never going to be an option.

If I met someone on here I could fuck and date, that would be a huge bonus.

Don't worry, I'm not looking to fall in love with someone. But having a good distraction in my life is what I need and I miss having someone to eat out with.

I should stress... I am not looking for a relationship.

If you don't attach a face picture with your message, I'm just going to delete it.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THE FOLLOWING..

You're Bi.

You meet with TV/TS but your profile says your straight. :-/

(I'm not judging, just not interested in guys who are into this)

You're a lorry driver "in the area"

You're working in the area and staying in a hotel.

You have pictures of you inside many different women...unprotected.

You want to know if I'm ovulating... Yuk.

You are attached in any way.

Being filmed.

Also not interested in talking about intimate sex details with someone I don't know. If we click, then we can discuss the finer details.

Safe sex is a must, can be renegotiated if things go well and become regular.

I should add, I'm not one for dressing up. Stockings and suspenders are not my thing. I find them uncomfortable...plus my legs are not long enough. Stockings make them look even shorter.

I'm more comfortable in a flowy, mid length dress, bare feet, no underwear.

When I'm very very comfortable with someone, and I know them well, I'd consider dressing up. Oh and heels? I'll wear them but don't expect me to walk anywhere in them. My high heel days are done.

I'm going to add my status updates here, since people seem to enjoy some of the weirder ones I write ha!

7/06/26 Controversial? People go on about hygiene, I mean obv, but, you're fine with licking ass and sucking & fucking a D thats been inside an ass....LOL

16/26 The sentence "snap me because I've got no messages left" is guaranteed to dry a woman up faster than an ice cube in an air fryer. Yuk.

29/06/26 I keep getting asked "why no skinny guys" simple answer....I don't want to break you. Lol.

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