FabSwingers.com: E (44) , Woman in Brierley hill, West Midlands, UK

Right, my memory has been refreshed as to how intense gentleman, and I use that word loosely, can be on here. So guys here's some top tips that will hold you in good sted for me and probably for other ladies too. So a win for everyone if you choose to take it on board.

1. If I open your message and don't respond straightaway, DO NOT send another message. If you do, I will block you. I have a life so I will get back to you in my own time.

2. If you want a response then send a sensible message, avoid instant smut. Its boring and I will block you.

3. If you want a response, let your first picture to me be a clear one OF YOUR FACE. Dick pics can come later. I need to feel a physical attraction to some level. I'm not a robot.

4. I dont wish to read jokes on the first message. Its sad. Nor do I want to wade through reams of ramblings.

5. I will 100% want to build a rapport before meeting. Again, I'm not a robot. Mental connection is just as important as physical.

6. Age and height is important. The taller the better and as such I won't reply to anyone under 5ft 11. Nor will I reply to anyone over 54. Extra points for 6ft 2 plus. State it on first message if you want to grab my attention faster.

7. Extra points for tattoos and piercings so make that clear on the first message if you want to grab more of my attention.

8. If you don't want to wear protection I'm not for you. I have zero interest in sharing the last girls DNA and juices.

9. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me so its important that you have it.

10. I'm pretty clued up and can feel lies and bullshit a mile off, although I might not let on if it doesn't matter. It will however be noted so dont do it. There's zero reason to lie to me as I'm chilled.

11. If you have a partner in any way shape or form I'm not interested. I'm not a cheat, and for fun or not, I dont wish to be involved with one. I'm equally uninterested if you are 'poly' or 'ethically cheating/dating'. Be single or pass me by.

12. I'm also not interested in any other category but a STRAIGHT MALE. Anything else, please don't message as I won't reply.

13. As much as I love sexting/phone sex etc, I'm only interested and inspired to do so with people I already have some sort of connection with. I dont do this with random men. Please dont ask me to.

14. Please write 'yes miss' in the title of any messages so I know you have read and digested this information. If you stick to the above - I will respond.

And for the love of goddddd, dont call me hun. Or sweetie for that matter. Yak

Have fun folks :)

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