FabSwingers.com: Carol (52) , Woman in Rossendale, North West, UK

If you’re looking for a Sarcastic, Sexy Psycho, TADA, Bi, Poly woman - then look no further

I am a 25+vat (see it does go up lol) year old woman and I'm looking to meet men, women, couples.

I don’t do private meets, only club meets. So don’t ask for private meet as “No” or “fuck off and read my profile” tends to offend lol

If you are a single bloke on here, who is married and looking to cheat, Don’t bother messaging me as again a “F*** O**” replies seem to upset people

Also if you don’t have a profile pic - then send me one … I don’t talk to those who I don’t know what their FACE looks like - so nope, this is not asking for a dicpic x

I am eternally single (well it feels like it’s been an eternity and I’m not complaining as it’s so peaceful lol) and am looking to have fun, lots of hot sex and giggles, making friends along the way.

What I want (situations vacant):

* Vacancy - Currently wanted (minimum of two) fuck / schnuggle buddies, ideally local, who can accommodate and who I can actually have a conversation with, curl up on the couch and watch geeky shit, take the piss out of each other and fuck like bunnies.

Why two? 1) I’m greedy and 2) I only have specific times when I’m free and I WANT MY booty calls available when I need them.

* Vacancy- Regular play buddies who can meet me at the clubs and we can play together and separately … make a great wing woman and I enjoy going in with someone as much as I enjoy going in as a single lady.

Applications received via message - if the opening line doesn’t make me laugh … the application is not being considered

I am a switch.

When I am sub - I am a very bratty sub and love to wind Doms up by calling them Good Boy … well it makes me laugh lol. I am likely to flit between calling YOU “Sir”, “Slut” or “Good Boy” dependent on my mood. Usually if I call you Sir, I am more than likely taking the pi**. Also I am not into pain, as I am a sensual sub, so any doms who want to have a lot of impact play, then I am not for you … however, if you want a battle of wits, and want to tame a bratty sub through sensory means … then I will happily let you try - you’ll fail as I can NOT be trained, but everyone loves a tryer lol

When I am being Dom, you will be used to meet my needs, do exactly as I tell you and for as long as I tell you (expect to be restrained and made to watch whilst I get myself off and play with you and edge you for as long as I choose) … you will be there for my amusement only and if I choose to let you cum, you will be grateful and worship me.

And the above reason is why I can’t be a true submissive as my dom side makes me more bratty lol

I’m not a skinny Minnie or a gym bunny, so if that’s what you are looking for, scroll on. However if you want to chat to someone sarcastic, slightly psycho, silly sense of humour … yes I do grab hold of floppy dicks and make the flower pot men sounds - cos it makes ME laugh (and that’s the important bit lol) and sex is meant to be fun… curvy, sexy woman with a hidden superpower, then here I am.

Even mid scream, I am likely to take the piss and laugh … cos again it’s all about FUN! … and it usually results in being fucked harder lol - so win-win!

If you just message me saying “want to fuck” the answer is likely to be no - unless you are hot beyond belief and I’m mega horny … however, I have toys so likely to tell you to feck off anyways - so please be a little more creative in your opening messages :-)

Also if you get salty cos I haven’t messaged you back in a few hours / days - again “feck off”, despite appearances I have a life outside of fab and you will be blocked. I can’t be arsed with stroppy fecking men - if I wanted that I would have stayed married lol - actually that’s a lie cos I truly believe you should ONLY get married if you have a good divorce party planned - I had an awesome one!!

The other reason I am shit at replying is that I am ‘ADohhhh shiny squirrel’, (aka TDAH which means when I mess up and lose shit, forget to message people, over share or forget what I am talking about mid sentence - I can just jump up and shout TDAH) … so I get distracted and then forget very easily - if this is gonna bug you, DO ONE now as I can not be arsed with your stroppy self lol

Now if I haven’t 1) scared you or 2) upset your fragile ego, then message me

Warning most of our chats (on here and in person) are likely to be as chaotic as this profile … “Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid” x

Update to my BDSM Test and yes I know a few friends will turn round and say “told you so” for part of it lol -

100% for Brat (go on say it and get your gloating over with ??), Brat Tamer (don’t agree that this is 100%, I would say more 50-60%), Non-Monogomost (yep true), Voyeur, Exhibitionist (yep), Rope Bunny and then Rigger is 98% x

Need to re do this as I am an avid reader and have definitely had the prey kink unlocked recently … chase me bitch ??

You do not have permission from me to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action. (I suggest the rest of you post this notice.)

*** Any such usage will be considered as a breach of my legal right to privacy and I will prosecute any persons or company doing so.

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