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Man in London, Greater London, UK
Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 17 minutes ago

TickOn mobile site
10Friends only photos

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Women aged 30 to 70. Will meet smokers.

Meeting

Can accommodate. Can travel.

Buttman

53 years old
Straight

5'11"  180cm
Athletic
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
No piercings

Interests

Threesomes, Taking Photos, Safe Sex, Rimming, Oral, Group Sex, Gangbangs, DP, Cuckolding, Anal
I've decided to rewrite my profile and it's quite long so sit back, relax, stick the kettle on and hopefully enjoy!

Lockdown was not my friend! Rather than take advantage of the time and hit the weights, rowing machine, etc, I decided to indulge in cans of lager and build lifesize replica pyramids out of the empties. I have since attempted the rowing machine which after 5 minutes left me in a sweating, rolling heap on the floor crying for help because I thought I was having a heart attack.

I also left the 'roaring forties' and stumbled into middle age and the 'miserable fifties'. Along with the 40's the hair on my head decided it didn't want to grow anymore and disappeared. I tried to kid myself that it made me look like Jason Statham but instead I've been told I look like Dave Courtney. And whilst his books are quite entertaining and he's quite a character I'm not sure whether this is a compliment or not.

As a result I've had a word with myself and decided that I'm not the chiselled Adonis that I thought I was. If I strain really hard, I'm sure I can see what remains of a six-pack but I can't do it for long in case I give myself a hernia.

Although the hair on my head has stopped growing, it hasn't given up elsewhere. I've found that pulling nasal hair out whilst doing 70mph down the A1 is not a great plan and I have no idea why it would want to grow in my ears. And how does 1 hair grow by an inch overnight in your eyebrows? A good side to this is that I'm shaved or neatly trimmed down below. I like to think that it's neat, hygenic and gives the optical illusion that my willy is bigger. However, the truth is that a manky old brillo pad with a chipolata and a couple of walnuts hanging off isn't a great look.

In the absence of flowing locks of hair I sometimes attempt to grow a goatee - probably because after 7 cans of Stella I think it makes me look mature and sophisticated. This doesn't tend to last though because in reality it's patchy, grey and actually pretty shit!

I've also decided that I should be an honest 'single male' and disclose some truths:

1 - I'm attached and she's unaware.

2 - I don't have verifications because of #1

3 - I don't have public pictures because of #1

4 - I can't accommodate (apart from hotel) because of #1

5 - I don't live in London; I actually live in the South East/Midlands so if I wrote to you it's because you're reasonably close.

6 - I work in the Petrochemical industry so spend a lot of time in S. Wales, S. Coast, Teesside, Hull/Grimsby, N. West, etc.

If any of that hasn't put you off then here's a bit about me:

51, 5'11", balding, face only a mother could love, feeling aches and pains from years of rugby, seeks loving home and care after years of neglect. Good with other pets and (reasonably) well house trained.