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Definition of a Dom ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m someone who would consider himself to be a Dominant sexual partner, but what dose being a Dom mean?

I have been on the site for a few years on and off, and have seen a rise in both men who describe themselves as a Dom and women who describe themselves to be submissive or as a Sub.

I appreciate that the definition of a Dom would be different depending on who you ask.

For me at least a Dom is a person in my case a male, that can make a partner feel in a position that they feel totally at ease and comfortable in a given scenario so as to want to submit and let the Dom control that scenario.

I personally find that to build that type of trust it takes time and a lot of experimentation on both parts.

Would be interested to hear people’s thoughts on this matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a broad church.

Control. Power exchange. The imbalance between dominant and submissive.

What floats your boat after that depends on the people involved.

Just my opinion x

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By *ara MTV/TS
over a year ago

Aberdare

A good Dom(me) should understand the ultimate power lies with the submissive.

It’s about trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The person in BDSM who dominates or controls yhe submissive/partner. A dominant can be either a full-time Mistress or Master, or simply a top (the person doing the tying up or whipping, etc.)

For me is about getting in my head. Once a Dom can do that I willingly want to submit. Most think its banging a woman hard or throwing her around the bedroom. Its far from that.

Just a look from my Dom tells me if I've been a good or bad girl, he has that much presence about him. Always In total control and also incredibly confident. A narcissist too lol ooops did I just say that hehe but that what attracts me to them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Presence, charisma, respect, trust, and ultimately getting inside my head to the point that all I care about is pleasuring them, and knowing that they can and will pleasure me beyond all others

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By *efByOrgasmsMan
over a year ago

Heads of the Valleys

Million dollar question is and I've been in a discussion about this.

Can people actually do BDSM but without sex involved?

Interested to see people answers to this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Million dollar question is and I've been in a discussion about this.

Can people actually do BDSM but without sex involved?

Interested to see people answers to this."

Have to define what it means to you first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Million dollar question is and I've been in a discussion about this.

Can people actually do BDSM but without sex involved?

Interested to see people answers to this."

For me BDSM and sex go together

. I won't do one without the other. Its why BDSM clubs don't interest me anymore as sex isn't allowed. I need both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've never been into the scene & can't really understand why BDSM can't have sex attached, if it's your fundamental default preference the scene isn't going to work. BDSM is what gets us off. More boxes that aren't helpful X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Million dollar question is and I've been in a discussion about this.

Can people actually do BDSM but without sex involved?

Interested to see people answers to this."

I spent my first couple of years keeping kink separate, Dom on one side and Fwb on the other.

Submission can be intensely mentally and I was happier that way.

Took me a while to combine, but I'm still happy with kink only play. I've had some good laughs in clubs where people try all sorts, completely relaxed as there's no pressure for sex on the agenda.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it's very dependant on the dynamic between two people.

For me, I like a man in a dominant position to be able to read me, understand me, and know me. If someone can get in my head and grasp all of that they can push me and my limits safely and I know I can hand over total control. It's a rare spark that completely does it for me. I am a bit of a masohchist but only when there is complete trust there, as it is a lot to know that somebody will hurt you in the right way with reason and care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

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By *oolybullyMan
over a year ago

Close enough

Confidence, Presence, Trust and discipline.

A genuine sub won't hand control over without these.

A genuine Dom will be clear, concise and communicate well.

Dynamics should be in place early and boundaries set. Discipline must be given to ensure the dynamic stays in place.

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By *nickerlessgirlWoman
over a year ago

bridgend

To answer the original question, a Dom is entirely different to a dominant sexual partner.

A dominant sexual partner is only more assertive in the bedroom. I could and would challenge that. I enjoy being dominated but equally like to take control sometimes.

A Dom in a D/s relationship is so much more. It's isn't just a sexual relationship.

A good Dom is rare and worth his weight in gold!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

"
you obviously haven’t met a dominant woman then...

for a dominant woman to become “sub”, she needs much more than a domineering personality

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By *nickerlessgirlWoman
over a year ago

bridgend


"For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

you obviously haven’t met a dominant woman then...

for a dominant woman to become “sub”, she needs much more than a domineering personality "

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By *nickerlessgirlWoman
over a year ago

bridgend


"For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

you obviously haven’t met a dominant woman then...

for a dominant woman to become “sub”, she needs much more than a domineering personality "

Absolutely agree!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you can put in what ain't there. I mean some people are just naturally more dominant than others in sexual situations.

All the labels and 50 shades of grey crap does my head in.

Communication is the key and eventually try to take it to the max, but keep a safe word in mind.. Because reality isn't always good as the fantasy in your mind.

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By *efByOrgasmsMan
over a year ago

Heads of the Valleys


"Confidence, Presence, Trust and discipline.

A genuine sub won't hand control over without these.

A genuine Dom will be clear, concise and communicate well.

Dynamics should be in place early and boundaries set. Discipline must be given to ensure the dynamic stays in place."

Definitely agree with this. But Trust and Communication are the 2 biggest thing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

you obviously haven’t met a dominant woman then...

for a dominant woman to become “sub”, she needs much more than a domineering personality "

I have met many different guises of lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me being a natural dominant I am completely in control to the point where the other person even thinks that they control but evidently its my choice. What I find in most sub/dom scenarios is that in fact the sub is the dominant force as the dom is submitting to the subs needs and will. It tends to be about what the subs wants and likes and not the other way round and the dom, usually a male, submitting to this as they want to please the sub.

It's such an imbalance.

As I said I am naturally dominant but do not consider myself a dom. Far from it actually. I want to please the lady I am with but in a way that I want to. Aslong as it is mutual and respectful

you obviously haven’t met a dominant woman then...

for a dominant woman to become “sub”, she needs much more than a domineering personality "

And I would actually challenge that and say you obviously haven't met a domanint man.....

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