FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Wales

Block

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is this site really as dire as I've found please someone restore my faith!!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's what you make it tbh, I use it to keep in touch with a, few good friends but we don't meet via the site anymore. If Ch3wy had his way the profile would have been deleted long ago. Hopefully you'll find a, way that suits you, whether that be via clubs, parties or socials or just more rigorous filtering X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We spoke on forum before I think. There are some good ones on here. Yes you have to shift through a lots of shit.

Good ones generally go to group socials as bad ones can't hide. Look up Bridgend social or Newport. The couple that run them are great. Good people go too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Is this site really as dire as I've found please someone restore my faith!!!!!!"

Its not the site that is the problem.

Its some of the people on it.

However, not everyone is a timewaster.

One definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome", so if you use the site in the same way all the time, expecting your experiences to get better, then you will be disappointed.

Go to socials, clubs, parties and other events, mingle, make friends, network, and from there you should have a better friends base from which to choose your playmates, who hopefully will be people you can trust.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancubsaMan
over a year ago

Newport


"Is this site really as dire as I've found please someone restore my faith!!!!!!"

That's because you haven't met me yet!

In all seriousness, i don't understand why all the dickheads get the meets. I don't meet that often probably because it becones a lot of hassle, not in the case of putting a lot if effort in but more so messagaing people and it not getting read even when you've spent a decent amount of your time being genuine and "original".

Going to socials is cool but sometimes still get left in the dark maybe because i don't know anyone and they are all chatting about their previous socials and meets etc. But that said, I have met a few lovely people and some not so.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancardiff7Man
over a year ago

Near Cowbridge

Like most things in life you tend to get out what you put in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As stated above, its hard to put so much effort in, chatting only to be dropped. Busy lives demand honesty and openness but some people are just players with no real intentions.

The socials seem a good way forward, but there's an element of clique about them, I've been told. It seems to hold true as some status are more like fbook buddy bragging than nsa fun. As a quiet individual. I find that off-putting. Shame.

I guess the only way to change is to try socials, along with an alternative site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are loads of genuine guys out there but sometimes we get tarred with the same brush as others. Thing to remember is, this is a swinging/sex website so even the good guys are looking for fun! Wether thats with a regular meet or multiple meets or even group meets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Depends what you define as 'fun' really

I'm yet to find a 'good guy' yet

What is disheartening to me is when you complete a profile, state needs/wants yet folk totally ignore

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Define "good guy" many people have different definitions of it to be fair. The swinger lifestyle isnt for everyone just remember to not to take it too seriously. I have found good guys on here so its possible. Like others said actual socials are good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not new to any of this what I am new to is the hastle I'm getting I've never known that ever before on any of the other sites unfortunately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you maybe I'll try that x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not new to any of this what I am new to is the hastle I'm getting I've never known that ever before on any of the other sites unfortunately "

Top tip then is to avoid all Psychos! Lol! Thats what I plan on doing these days as some women can be just as bad to be honest...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx"

Giving off mixed signals can be an issue, your profile says you are happy to go to socials, but on here you say you aren't?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx

Giving off mixed signals can be an issue, your profile says you are happy to go to socials, but on here you say you aren't?"

Another issue with some on here, very mixed signals...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Some people find it hard to light a candle, but easy to curse the darkness.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people find it hard to light a candle, but easy to curse the darkness."

They also blow the candle out just so they can try and show whos in control/in charge..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's such a shame when people feel entitled to whatever they please but dont know a good thing when they see it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Tbh I would have been but after I've msgd a few the attitudes I've got I wouldn't want to go alone x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Guess we're all after different things honesty is a must for me and there's not a lot here lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Tbh I would have been but after I've msgd a few the attitudes I've got I wouldn't want to go alone x"

No need to go alone, watch the thread advertising a social, message some of the ladies who put their names down explaining your nervousness, meet up as a small group for pre-drinks (this is already a regular thing), and then go as a group.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Guess we're all after different things honesty is a must for me and there's not a lot here lol "

Unfortunately with a site so inundated with guys (many not as "single" as their profiles would suggest!), dishonesty is something we have come to expect.

That's why we treat every new profile with suspicion.

We tend not to bother with guys unless we have met them a couple of times at socials. At least there we can see how they interact with people, and although not a sure-fire certainty, the more socials you see a guy at, the less likely he is to be attached, there are only so many "lad's nights out" that a wife will believe lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's not them being attached bothers me it's the honesty of the meets etc lol thank you for your advice tho xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx"

Why don't you have a look at who's down to attend, and message someone to see if they will meet you before so you don't have to walk in on your own? You will also have someone to talk to then if it takes you a while to warm up.

I've done that before now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx

Why don't you have a look at who's down to attend, and message someone to see if they will meet you before so you don't have to walk in on your own? You will also have someone to talk to then if it takes you a while to warm up.

I've done that before now."

Sounds good it's just finding someone I'd trust xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

We were pretty active socially & then we hid the profile while outside life (moving 300 miles etc.) Was happening.

Now settled & more active but the site does seem rather more full of people complaining rather than extolling its virtues.

So many complain about the quality of those that contact them. Easiest answer is block everyone, grow some & message only those you are interested in.

Who really cares if someone you've never met or spoken to decides to ignore or delete your message its only Fab not real life.

S

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well it's real if you meet them lol

You obviously are not inundated with rubbish msgs

Oh I block regularly to stop the same folk with same useless msgs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll only be inundated if your filters aren't set right, some good advice has been given by those who've been there, it's for you to accept or not but getting funny isn't useful to anyone. I risky understand the real life comment, for most Fab is an addition, it's not real life, dating, seeking a life partner etc... Well mostly not. There's no point passing comment or seeking advice if you're not able to politely read X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely worth getting down to one of the socials. I went to my first recently and it was good fun and met lots of nice people. I was nervous going in but nerves were at ease pretty much instantly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Filters and attending social events seem to be the way forward

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely worth getting down to one of the socials. I went to my first recently and it was good fun and met lots of nice people. I was nervous going in but nerves were at ease pretty much instantly. "

Yeah you met us so of course you had good time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not new to any of this what I am new to is the hastle I'm getting I've never known that ever before on any of the other sites unfortunately "

Thought u only want women

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has one of the abusers commented on this thread?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always send a nice message & face picture, if I don’t get a response I’ll block, I don’t mind being blocked either, it’s what it’s for, thinning the herd so to speak.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have read all and of course thank folk for advice my filters are correct x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this site really as dire as I've found please someone restore my faith!!!!!!"

I wouldn't say it was a matter of restoring your faith, more a matter of changing your outlook on what you want ?

There are good guys, bad guys, invisible bloody guys and clicky guys on here.

Take the advice from other on here, and attend socials. If your concerned of going alone, there are plenty of other single fems that will be more than happy to meet up with you and hold your hand. Yes ! some other single fems on here are really good at making others feel relaxed and welcome.

As for couples, you really have to get used to how some operate on here and how some like to be approached.

like I said, knowing many single females inundated with mail and getting abuse back when saying no, they have overcome their disappointment in the site and used the facilities to their advantage and are having a great time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you just struggling I suppose maybe not for me after lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"Thank you just struggling I suppose maybe not for me after lol x"

We struggled in the beginning to understand the site. Joined thinking its "Just" swingers when in reality its a lot more & a lot less in many ways.

I would say after being here a number of years we are not swingers & have changed our profile to suit what we really wanted & it worked.

It is harder than it should be on here but that's because so many want differing things from the site & meets.

If you do think its not for you though before you give up just have a go & block all single men for a week. Enjoy the peace & quiet & peruse profiles at your leisure. Getting messages deleted unread or read/deleted only pisses you off the first dozen times or so Although I doubt that happens that often to too many single fems on here.

& in answer to your previous question, no our inbox is not inundated with messages but that's because we had to block men from messaging, despite never being interested in meeting them many seemed to think we should for some odd reason

S&H

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a numbers game on here. Sadly the idiots outweigh the keepers. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pidey_1Man
over a year ago

‘west is best’?....But Not Too Far West?!

Anticipation is one thing, frustration quite another....you can find them both here, just perhaps not in equal measure? : )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Thank you just struggling I suppose maybe not for me after lol x"

Quitters never win, and winners never quit.

You have had good advice, but seem trapped in a "poor me" spiral.

Focus... you have all the power, you have something guys want...and please, if I have to tell you what it is then you are a lost cause lol!

Stop chasing a meet, and sit back, take time to enjoy the "scene", make some friends, have a giggle, and then pick your guy, check him out, and if he passes muster...rock his world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Thank you just struggling I suppose maybe not for me after

Stop chasing a meet, and sit back, take time to enjoy the "scene", make some friends, have a giggle, and then pick your guy, check him out, and if he passes muster...rock his world."
... everyone will see who you are at social meetings treat them like we do a night out and make new different and sometimes mad friends and if something happens it’s a bonus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lol oh I'm not sad I just asked a question that's what I thought a 'forum' was for x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single female that’s been on and off the site 7-8 years I completely see where your coming from.

Socials are not for everyone. I tried a few times and really didn’t enjoy all of the attention from the single guys there, for me it was like being on fab with no block button! I have also tried with a male friend but as we weren’t an actual couple and new we were on our own most of the night despite trying to make conversation seemed most had their own friends that they stick to. I wouldn’t want to try with other single fems as I’m not really the girlie type and it still dosent stop you being bombarded by single guys. Socials were never going to be for me anyway as I only really meet bi guys and t girls.

A few years ago it seemed the ratios of guys to girls was better, so meeting someone was much easier. Not all but the majority were here because it’s a swinging site. These days there are so many hook up sites fab has just become one of them. Most guys that message are looking for quick hooks ups not a swinging thing so the etiquette has been lost.

I don’t find filtering messages works, I’ve tried but some of my best meets have been people that are newbies or are slightly out of my age range so I’ve always stayed mostly unfiltered on my messages and do it myself by blocking/deleting any messages where the profile is lazy or not what I’m looking for. Yeah it’s slightly time consuming but it’s just one tap and it’s deleted. I also approach guys with profiles I like myself and have had many really good meets that way.

At times it does all seem like a drag but be patient those guys really are out there they are just lost a little in a sea of guys you’d never meet.

I came back after a year hiatus and 4 weeks in I’m thinking I may just give up on fab forever, it’s hard work. I replied to around 5 messages in that time, all but one I blocked after a message or two for various reasons. But one well that turned out to be the best meet I’ve had in all those years on fab. He totally gets what I’m looking for and I’ve had some truly outstanding sex over the last few months.

I think what your looking for is out there but remaining positive is hard when your being insulted and receiving degrading disrespectful messages on a regular basis.

Can see why it’s getting to you but don’t let it, be positive and go look for what you want!

Swinging for me isn’t something you can make happen instantly, for every 10 not so great experiences there is one which blows your mind, that’s what all of us are chasing but despite all of us chasing that they mostly happen naturally or by chance. It’s not something you can make happen.

Patience and determination to get what you want works for me!

Good luck finding what you seek lovely, clearly not sad just frustrated!!!

Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you had bad experience from the group socials. We Can only say about the ones we have been to.

Had no problems with the single guys talked to them just like the ladies and couples there was not overt attention.

At end of day we all have to be within our comfort zone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single female that’s been on and off the site 7-8 years I completely see where your coming from.

Socials are not for everyone. I tried a few times and really didn’t enjoy all of the attention from the single guys there, for me it was like being on fab with no block button! I have also tried with a male friend but as we weren’t an actual couple and new we were on our own most of the night despite trying to make conversation seemed most had their own friends that they stick to. I wouldn’t want to try with other single fems as I’m not really the girlie type and it still dosent stop you being bombarded by single guys. Socials were never going to be for me anyway as I only really meet bi guys and t girls.

A few years ago it seemed the ratios of guys to girls was better, so meeting someone was much easier. Not all but the majority were here because it’s a swinging site. These days there are so many hook up sites fab has just become one of them. Most guys that message are looking for quick hooks ups not a swinging thing so the etiquette has been lost.

I don’t find filtering messages works, I’ve tried but some of my best meets have been people that are newbies or are slightly out of my age range so I’ve always stayed mostly unfiltered on my messages and do it myself by blocking/deleting any messages where the profile is lazy or not what I’m looking for. Yeah it’s slightly time consuming but it’s just one tap and it’s deleted. I also approach guys with profiles I like myself and have had many really good meets that way.

At times it does all seem like a drag but be patient those guys really are out there they are just lost a little in a sea of guys you’d never meet.

I came back after a year hiatus and 4 weeks in I’m thinking I may just give up on fab forever, it’s hard work. I replied to around 5 messages in that time, all but one I blocked after a message or two for various reasons. But one well that turned out to be the best meet I’ve had in all those years on fab. He totally gets what I’m looking for and I’ve had some truly outstanding sex over the last few months.

I think what your looking for is out there but remaining positive is hard when your being insulted and receiving degrading disrespectful messages on a regular basis.

Can see why it’s getting to you but don’t let it, be positive and go look for what you want!

Swinging for me isn’t something you can make happen instantly, for every 10 not so great experiences there is one which blows your mind, that’s what all of us are chasing but despite all of us chasing that they mostly happen naturally or by chance. It’s not something you can make happen.

Patience and determination to get what you want works for me!

Good luck finding what you seek lovely, clearly not sad just frustrated!!!

Xx

"

Fab with no block button, fuck that make some female friends and go with them I find women usually hunt better in packs lol it's how I always saw women at the socials anyway, gathered in groups, d*unk and ready to pounce lol

In all seriousness the socials are great once you know a few people who are there and you have other people to sit with

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exybunny84Woman
over a year ago

Newport


"I'd be extremely nervous to go to socials as a single woman tbh

Maybe I was expecting too much from the site or as you say 'the shit' is getting in the way of me finding genuine folk

Thanks all for replying xxx"

I went to my first social on my own a few weeks ago. Luckily I messaged someone before to meet me outside as it was the walking in that worried me. Honestly I had such a fab time- everyone was so friendly and ended up chatting to loads of people. If you ever want to go give me a shout

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s a numbers game on here. Sadly the idiots outweigh the keepers. X"

Completely agree with you there!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As a single female that’s been on and off the site 7-8 years I completely see where your coming from.

Socials are not for everyone. I tried a few times and really didn’t enjoy all of the attention from the single guys there, for me it was like being on fab with no block button! I have also tried with a male friend but as we weren’t an actual couple and new we were on our own most of the night despite trying to make conversation seemed most had their own friends that they stick to. I wouldn’t want to try with other single fems as I’m not really the girlie type and it still dosent stop you being bombarded by single guys. Socials were never going to be for me anyway as I only really meet bi guys and t girls.

Your version is exactly how I feel thank you so much for your reply xxx

A few years ago it seemed the ratios of guys to girls was better, so meeting someone was much easier. Not all but the majority were here because it’s a swinging site. These days there are so many hook up sites fab has just become one of them. Most guys that message are looking for quick hooks ups not a swinging thing so the etiquette has been lost.

I don’t find filtering messages works, I’ve tried but some of my best meets have been people that are newbies or are slightly out of my age range so I’ve always stayed mostly unfiltered on my messages and do it myself by blocking/deleting any messages where the profile is lazy or not what I’m looking for. Yeah it’s slightly time consuming but it’s just one tap and it’s deleted. I also approach guys with profiles I like myself and have had many really good meets that way.

At times it does all seem like a drag but be patient those guys really are out there they are just lost a little in a sea of guys you’d never meet.

I came back after a year hiatus and 4 weeks in I’m thinking I may just give up on fab forever, it’s hard work. I replied to around 5 messages in that time, all but one I blocked after a message or two for various reasons. But one well that turned out to be the best meet I’ve had in all those years on fab. He totally gets what I’m looking for and I’ve had some truly outstanding sex over the last few months.

I think what your looking for is out there but remaining positive is hard when your being insulted and receiving degrading disrespectful messages on a regular basis.

Can see why it’s getting to you but don’t let it, be positive and go look for what you want!

Swinging for me isn’t something you can make happen instantly, for every 10 not so great experiences there is one which blows your mind, that’s what all of us are chasing but despite all of us chasing that they mostly happen naturally or by chance. It’s not something you can make happen.

Patience and determination to get what you want works for me!

Good luck finding what you seek lovely, clearly not sad just frustrated!!!

Xx

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. "

Yep I know I'll probably get crucified for this but if more single ladies & couples blocked everyone & grew some by sending first messages this place would improve overnight.

We've blocked single guys (no interest) the unverified (fed up with fakes). Newbies & stampheads (They don't tend to stay long) & guess what? No crap messages, no fakes & no ghosters. No messages either most weeks but a small price to pay

S

Oh well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

Yep I know I'll probably get crucified for this but if more single ladies & couples blocked everyone & grew some by sending first messages this place would improve overnight.

We've blocked single guys (no interest) the unverified (fed up with fakes). Newbies & stampheads (They don't tend to stay long) & guess what? No crap messages, no fakes & no ghosters. No messages either most weeks but a small price to pay

S

Oh well"

But then they'd have nothing to moan about

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

Yep I know I'll probably get crucified for this but if more single ladies & couples blocked everyone & grew some by sending first messages this place would improve overnight.

We've blocked single guys (no interest) the unverified (fed up with fakes). Newbies & stampheads (They don't tend to stay long) & guess what? No crap messages, no fakes & no ghosters. No messages either most weeks but a small price to pay

S

Oh well

But then they'd have nothing to moan about "

Don't be daft, there's always something for women to moan about!

S

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink.

Yep I know I'll probably get crucified for this but if more single ladies & couples blocked everyone & grew some by sending first messages this place would improve overnight.

We've blocked single guys (no interest) the unverified (fed up with fakes). Newbies & stampheads (They don't tend to stay long) & guess what? No crap messages, no fakes & no ghosters. No messages either most weeks but a small price to pay

S

Oh well"

That's how we do it & it works well X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top