 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Not our writing found in another forum but had to take and post
I have learned much during my time in the lifestyle and wish to share it with my fellow single guys in hopes the site can become less stressful and frustrating for everyone. This is primarily aimed at the single guys that don't seem to understand the nature of the site as I know there are plenty on here that are great people!
Huge, well structured, wall of text incoming so prepare yourself!
=================-------------------------------
GUIDE FOR SINGLE GUYS
by Mr O.
=================-------------------------------
What’s the matter Billy? Getting ignored 'constantly' and getting down because of it? Thought this site was an easy way to get sex on demand with as many women as you want? Well unfortunately here is a nice reality check:
Imagine you saw a diamond sinking in a bog filled with faecal matter and urine. The diamond is worth LOTS of money and you definitely want to get it but have issues with the faecal matter and urine surrounding it. This is what women and couples on here have to deal with on a daily basis. They receive an absolute SEA OF SHIT in their inbox with the odd diamond that sometimes they miss due to it being absorbed in the sea. Please memorise the following points:
-----
1) YOU ARE THE MAJORITY ON HERE AND HAVE NO POWER
That means that you are the least desirable entity on the site. The BOTTOM of the food chain. You have to REALLY stand out from the crowd to get any sort of attention.
Go right now and search for men looking for women against women looking for men. Do not be surprised at the head count difference. Infact it is MORE then likely you will get a nice round '600' result for men seeking women. This is not the actual figure. This is the LIMIT to search results. I have no idea how far beyond 600 the actual numbers are but at a guess I would say 900+.
Couples and single ladies hold the power here. It's a simple fact. You should be thankful they even allow you to sign up here as a single male. If you can't stand this fact go back to the nightclub scene as the ratio is probably more balanced there!
-----
2) THIS IS, FOR THE MOST PART, A MATURE ADULT SITE
What that means is that most people on here do NOT respond to 'wanna f**k tonight luv?'. I should imagine that there ARE a few people here for purely endless multiple partners but I believe they generally get spammed to hell and back by mails, if you want to play sex lottery then go ahead.
You will find your experience here MUCH more enjoyable if you treat it as a social facility to meet interesting and mature people with the POSSIBILITY (NOT CERTAINTY) of having a play together at some point. As mentioned in point #1 if you are just looking for a shag you will probably have much more luck at a night club.
Most people are here to make friends and generally enjoy intimacy as sober as possible. Not get rat arsed and shag anything that moves. If enjoying the social company of one or more mature adults followed by getting intimate with them while mostly sober intimidates you then you may wish to return to the nightclub scene.
-----
3) SORT YOUR PROFILE OUT
Your profile defines who you are and what you are looking for. Get photo verified for god sake it's not bloody well hard! Do NOT upload a damn cockshot picture and set it as your primary and only image. So many single men do this... WHY? Do you think the women won't believe you’re a man or something? Get some damn tasteful body pictures up instead.
As for the text part- clearly define your availability, how far you can travel, when/if you can accommodate and anything else you feel that might make you unique and stand out. In other words JUST BE YOURSELF. If you are not yourself you will just find when you do meet up that you are very uncomfortable.
-----
4) THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN INSTEAD OF YOUR PENIS
This is a proper pro tip that I would highly recommend any of the younger single guys, in some cases the older ones! Rub one out to your favourite porno BEFORE contacting anyone on here. You will find that you will engage your brain rather than your penis when writing the mail and you will often find you’re really not interested in the couple or women that seemed so appealing an hour earlier due to their sexy pictures saving both you and them time and energy.
-----
5) FIRST CONTACT
The vast majority of the time YOU will have to do the chasing, with a nice profile you will occasionally get chased but it's rare. BEFORE YOU MAKE FIRST CONTACT READ THEIR FREAKING PROFILE IN FULL. If it specifies near the bottom age 30-45 and you are 29 for example then DO NOT contact them unless their profile states otherwise.
If you meet their requirements fully and send a first contact email MAKE IT FREAKING WELL POLITE AND WELL MANNERED. DO NOT put 'nice profile lets f**k' or anything that is classed as a 'one liner'. Set the subject as something like 'Pleased to meet you' and then the email structured in the same way you would write a business email. Express your interest in a few polite paragraphs and leave it at that. These are real people at the other end of the email not some random blow up dolls with internet access ffs!
-----
6) STOP CRYING IF YOU DONT GET A RESPONSE
I have seen this so much. If there is no response to their first contact email certain single men seem to get pissed off and start sending arrogant or bitchy emails. DO NOT DO THIS.
They did not respond because of two reasons: 1- they are not interested, no need to dig deep into the reasons but they simply were not right for you so just move on. or 2- they were planning to reply but had to check through 20+ other emails and forgot. You can thank your fellow single guys for point number 2.
If you really can't stand seeing 'read' then get nothing for weeks or 'deleted' without a response then simple fix: DELETE THE EMAIL IN SENT ITEMS INSTANTLY AFTER YOU SEND IT. Then forget about the person you sent it to until they choose to contact you.
-----
7) STOP CRYING IF YOU DO GET A POLITE NO THANK YOU RESPONSE
Christ guys if someone says 'thanks but you are too young' or 'thanks but you are not what we/I am looking for' just ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON. IT IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK ON YOU UNLESS YOU MAKE IT ONE. You will never meet that person in real life and they had the decency to tell you where they stand with you so have the decency to NOT REPLY ANYMORE. Save your time and theirs and move the f**k on.
-----
8) STOP BEING PUSHY
This is a tricky one to describe but it is things like 'we should meet so I can do X on you' and 'I am free tonight lets meet' type things in emails every other line. I have experienced this first hand and it makes me feel uncomfortable so I should imagine it feels the same for couples and women.
THEY KNOW YOU WANT TO EVENTUALLY PLAY WITH THEM SO STOP BEGGING. Just let the emails and other chats flow naturally instead of enforcing that you should all meet ASAP. If they want to meet THEY WILL LET YOU KNOW.
-----
9) HONESTY
This is my little pet peeve so forgive me! As I am openly Bi (on the site at least!) I do get emails from many single guys from time to time that have 'straight' on their profile and when questioned they either stop responding or claim it’s so they can get 'more responses' from couples and women. For the love of god change it. If you WANT to have an encounter with a man sometime it means you are Bi-Curious. If you have HAD an experience with a man sometime and enjoyed it, it means you are bisexual, if you didn't enjoy it then straight is fine AND NO YOU ARE NOT GAY FOR TRYING. Please set your account as appropriate and just maybe people will become more accepting of male bisexuality.
Also be honest in your emails and profile. Don't claim to be someone or something you are not or you will end up associating with people that you are NOT comfortable with. If you are bi or curious and don't want single guys to chase you that's fine. Just block them all using the filter. You can still contact them if one takes your fancy.
-----
10) TURN UP FFS IF A TIME AND DATE HAS BEEN SET
The fabled 'timewaster' syndrome. Yes you were accepted to meet up with a woman or a couple, HAVE THE DECENCY TO SHOW UP. If you are not comfortable with getting intimate with them when the time comes JUST SAY NO THANKS. IT'S THAT SIMPLE. Not showing up leads to everyone getting pissed off whose time has been wasted. I can only assume that some single men don't turn up because they can't handle an adult conversation without the fuel of alcohol helping them out.
Man the f**k up and just meet the person or couple. They will NOT bite you or attack you or anything, you will find they will generally be polite, well mannered and make you feel comfortable. If you don't know what to say just talk to them like you would a work colleague, it's really not that hard. If you are nervous don't worry they/she will understand if they are/she is mature. They have been in your position at some point.
Naturally if they are arseholes in person just walk away and find someone else. If you are not comfortable with meeting strangers without the power of alcohol then I would suggest you go back to nightclubs.
-----
11) NO MEANS NO
I feel this one is relevant so thought I would include it. This is a golden rule in the lifestyle and as a single guy you are allowed to use it as well. If you are really uncomfortable just say 'no thanks' or 'sorry I’m too uncomfortable to do this'. It does NOT make you less of a man. If they point and laugh at you, or humiliate you, for saying such a thing then you deserve better. Leave immediately and block them without second thought. They are too immature.
Naturally if they say 'no' then you better back the f**k down and accept it. If they demand condoms you put a damn condom on. On the flip side if they demand bareback and you are not comfortable with that then walk away. Take control of yourself and always follow the golden rule.
--------------------------------
-------------------------------- |
I have always read profiles and respect is paramount in my opinion and hopefully that does eventually make the swinging be what it should be fun and exciting x 
Can usually tell tho when it's the male half messaging 
xxmiss 