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Dear Deidre...

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

Yes, she's back again, after a world tour taking in the fleshpots of Turkey, Thailand and the USA, Deidre is back to put your problems in perspective.

For those that haven't had the privilege before, Deidre is an agony aunt, but with a difference.

She doesn't sugar-coat it, she shoots from the hip, believing that the truth will set you free.

So, if you have a problem, maybe a personal issue, or a difficulty with the opposite sex, in fact anything at all, tell Deidre, and let her point you in the right direction.

Remember, she can be a bit...erm… forthright in her advice so be prepared for some "tough love".

(Disclaimer... the OP would like to publicly distance himself from any advice given, no responsibility can be laid at his door for any... issues, you may encounter if taking Deidre's advice)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dierdrie,

I have been away from site for a while now and have not had sex in 4 years! I can not figure out what is going on, I am clean, honest, approachable etc, etc and even manage two and half inches when aroused. I still have ALL my own teeth and am not a bad looking guy.

Please help, my ball sack is now so large that i have to sit on it!!!

Yours in hope,

Large Penis. (Mr)

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Dierdrie,

I have been away from site for a while now and have not had sex in 4 years! I can not figure out what is going on, I am clean, honest, approachable etc, etc and even manage two and half inches when aroused. I still have ALL my own teeth and am not a bad looking guy.

Please help, my ball sack is now so large that i have to sit on it!!!

Yours in hope,

Large Penis. (Mr)

"

Deidre says...

Having read your problem, I was at a loss to understand why you weren't more successful...until I re-read it, especially the bit where you reveal the length of your appendage, then sign your name as "Large Penis"....suddenly it all became clear.

You are deluded dear, locked into a fantasy world where you think you are "clean" and "not bad looking"... I hate to break it to you, but you are probably one of those unlucky souls who has a face only a mother could love.

All is not lost however, you could still make a good living as a circus freak, or sell face pics for people to hang over the fireplace to keep the wee ones away, every cloud and all that!

And.. there is one more piece of good news, you will never be short of a space-hopper to ride with your inflated scrotum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I missed the Dear Deidre posts when away

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Deirdre,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 10 months now, apart from being gorgeous he has a huge cock, I can’t keep my hands off him, on an average day we have sex at least three times, and each time is more intense than the prior one. It’s particularly fast hard sex, in fact we’ve destroyed three beds, and ruined the baize on a snooker table.

Anyway my question is do you know if Tesco still have the two for one deal on pasta?

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deirdre,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 10 months now, apart from being gorgeous he has a huge cock, I can’t keep my hands off him, on an average day we have sex at least three times, and each time is more intense than the prior one. It’s particularly fast hard sex, in fact we’ve destroyed three beds, and ruined the baize on a snooker table.

Anyway my question is do you know if Tesco still have the two for one deal on pasta?"

Deidre says...

Well, good for you hun, it's nice to hear someone's enjoying themselves.

Although, I don't think its pasta you want, I'd suggest heading to Boots, they've got a two for one offer on lube.

Now, stop showing off, this is a problem page, not help for shopping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Deirdre,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 10 months now, apart from being gorgeous he has a huge cock, I can’t keep my hands off him, on an average day we have sex at least three times, and each time is more intense than the prior one. It’s particularly fast hard sex, in fact we’ve destroyed three beds, and ruined the baize on a snooker table.

Anyway my question is do you know if Tesco still have the two for one deal on pasta?

Deidre says...

Well, good for you hun, it's nice to hear someone's enjoying themselves.

Although, I don't think its pasta you want, I'd suggest heading to Boots, they've got a two for one offer on lube.

Now, stop showing off, this is a problem page, not help for shopping."

Thanks for the reply sugar il bear the lube in mind lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Deirdre, having been a wanker since i was 10 years old my willy has a slight twist to the right.

If i use my left hand will it straighten out evetually?

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deirdre, having been a wanker since i was 10 years old my willy has a slight twist to the right.

If i use my left hand will it straighten out evetually?"

Deidre says…

Dear banana dong, didn't anyone ever tell you to "swap hands at 100"?

You could try and use the left hand to straighten it out, but knowing how much you boys like to play with yourselves, bare in mind if you keep getting it wrong, and swapping from hand to hand, you may end up with a cock only good for opening wine bottles with!

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By *hortarse69Woman
over a year ago

up the valleys ;-)

Dear Deidre....

SInce my clit hood piercing split my hood into 2, it's has ridiculously increased the sensitivity of it and I am constantly moist and leave a slug trail when touched for a few seconds. I've tried using salt on sponges to absorb it but it became irritating.

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deidre....

SInce my clit hood piercing split my hood into 2, it's has ridiculously increased the sensitivity of it and I am constantly moist and leave a slug trail when touched for a few seconds. I've tried using salt on sponges to absorb it but it became irritating. "

Deidre says...

I'm not entirely sure what the fascination is with bits of metal in the body, I recently saw a girl who had so many facial piercings it looked like shrapnel from a grenade!

In your case sweetie, a simple fix is nappies, save the salt for slugs.

A bonus is, with your advancing years, you are ready for when your bladder control goes, so no errant cough or sneeze is going to embarrass you.

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By *rofMan
over a year ago

Around

[Removed by poster at 13/09/18 20:05:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dierdre, i always wanted to try Buckakke. what does it taste like? and do you have a recipie for my nan?

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Dierdre, i always wanted to try Buckakke. what does it taste like? and do you have a recipie for my nan?"

Deidre says...

It depends on who is typing dearie.... if its him, then I don't think you want to try it, don't be fooled, its bukkake (pronounced boo kak ee… not boo CAKE ee lol).

I'm all for sharing with the family, but on this occasion I don't think you Nan would appreciate it, lets just say this sort of facial isn't something your local beauty parlour would offer!

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By *olphinmoonCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff & Edinburgh

Dear Diedre

We have being swinging for three years now but the Mrs still hates flossing with pubic hair! How can I convince her that not everyone wants to be clean shaven like her?

Mr DM

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Diedre

We have being swinging for three years now but the Mrs still hates flossing with pubic hair! How can I convince her that not everyone wants to be clean shaven like her?

Mr DM"

Deidre says...

Fashion comes and goes, long skirts, short skirts etc, and so it is with hair "down there". However, it does seem that its more of a personal thing to do with cleanliness when we are talking about groin afros. I must admit though, it is a first for me to hear of someone taking personal cleanliness to such extreme lengths as to be concentrating of oral hygiene when playing. I would suggest getting her a supply of floss, maybe try the flavoured ones, to wean her off the pubic hair!

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By *itenDaysCouple
over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

Dear Deidre,

I hope you can help me as I’m running of ideas to ease my problem. You see my problem is I am horny 24/7. It’s gotten to the stage now where I can’t even find peace in my sleep. My dreams are becoming more and more erotic which then stays with me all day enhancing my horniness all the more. Any help would be much appreciated.

Mrsnitenday

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deidre,

I hope you can help me as I’m running of ideas to ease my problem. You see my problem is I am horny 24/7. It’s gotten to the stage now where I can’t even find peace in my sleep. My dreams are becoming more and more erotic which then stays with me all day enhancing my horniness all the more. Any help would be much appreciated.

Mrsnitenday "

Deidre says...

I'm not sure I understand your problem sweetie?

So long as you have a good man to...well, scratch the itch, or failing that, a good supply of batteries, then you should be enjoying this period lol.

And, you are on a swinging site, so spread the fun, I doubt you will have any problems finding people to help make your dreams a reality..... just try not to act out daydreams, me and MrDeidre once acted one out which involved him clearing the meal table with a sweep of his arm, throwing me onto it, and ravishing me there and then.... it was wonderful.... but we have been banned from that particular Burger King for life!

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

Bump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Deirdre

You just have to help me, I think I’m becoming addicted to having sex in cars, I don’t know whether it’s the danger element, or the smell of the car, so far I’ve had sex in a Ford, a Vauxhall, and a Nissan, I’ve even considered a Skoda. Any advice you can give would be appreciated, even if it’s only recommendations for a good upholstery cleaner

Lick xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Deirdre ,my willy has started acting like an old dog.

I tell it what to do and the one eyed bastid just looks at me all saggy and lifeless.

There was a time where it was hyperactive and was a right pain to get it to sit and be calm at the time it was very high maintanance and i got frustrated now a yearn for them days back. any advice on getting him more active?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Update.

I was given a tablet for him he is back to his hyper activity again though sometimes at 3am. The good thing is after about 30 hours hr goes back to his old dog self. Happy days

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deirdre

You just have to help me, I think I’m becoming addicted to having sex in cars, I don’t know whether it’s the danger element, or the smell of the car, so far I’ve had sex in a Ford, a Vauxhall, and a Nissan, I’ve even considered a Skoda. Any advice you can give would be appreciated, even if it’s only recommendations for a good upholstery cleaner

Lick xx"

Deidre says...

I think you might have a touch of mechanophilia, but you aren't hurting anyone, so I don't see a problem there. I'm not sure the smell would do much for me, if MrDeidre's car is anything to go by, half-eaten sandwiches, a couple of the stale pine tree air-fresheners, a damp dog blanket and some sports kit that's been sat there since the 90's (who's he trying to kid?).

I would however, take issue with your car-sex history, I mean, a Nissan and a Skoda, have a bit of class sweetie!

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Deirdre ,my willy has started acting like an old dog.

I tell it what to do and the one eyed bastid just looks at me all saggy and lifeless.

There was a time where it was hyperactive and was a right pain to get it to sit and be calm at the time it was very high maintanance and i got frustrated now a yearn for them days back. any advice on getting him more active?"

Deidre says....

Ah yes, mans best friend, never happier than when he's being played with and petted. Have you thought about waving a stick about to see if that gets him all excited, or maybe a ball with a bell in it? Failing that, take ol' yeller for a walk in the woods with your gun, and send him off to the "farm", poor old thing.

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Update.

I was given a tablet for him he is back to his hyper activity again though sometimes at 3am. The good thing is after about 30 hours hr goes back to his old dog self. Happy days "

Deidre says....

Well, that is good news, I bet it was a Bob Martens worming tablet, nothing better for getting an old dog back with a spring in his step.

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

Bump

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

And grind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And grind! "

Mmmmm id like a little grinding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dierdrie. as i'm getting older I have a problem on saturday nights.

Forplay or Match of the day ? either way she fall asleep halfway through

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By *emon DelightMan
over a year ago

South Wales


"Dear Dierdrie. as i'm getting older I have a problem on saturday nights.

Forplay or Match of the day ? either way she fall asleep halfway through "

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"Dear Dierdrie. as i'm getting older I have a problem on saturday nights.

Forplay or Match of the day ? either way she fall asleep halfway through "

Deidre says...

Well hunny, why not come into the 21st century and do both?

Buy yourself a recording device and tape the footy, then you can please your lady, then watch the football after.... at least one of you will get something out of your efforts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Dierdrie. as i'm getting older I have a problem on saturday nights.

Forplay or Match of the day ? either way she fall asleep halfway through

Deidre says...

Well hunny, why not come into the 21st century and do both?

Buy yourself a recording device and tape the footy, then you can please your lady, then watch the football after.... at least one of you will get something out of your efforts!"

shhhhhh mun she might read this and actually buy one!

i don't really want forplay.....no man does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/01/19 03:08:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Deirdre, I have a sick stalker , I can't help but have to wear a body bag if I wanna get fked , my kids where so nasty to make me look like Freddy Kruger had me , my tits sag and I don't breast feed , I a fat fka but I like cake , he's so nasty he says I'm a liar , I can't help saying if you shag me.you vanish it's just my magic trick , any adv8ve will help "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dierdrie,i noticed that cocks are not pretty enough for the average woman so it got me thinking.

what about growing designer stubble and shave in pretty patterns or gangsta style?

and why not have a sleave aka condom tatoo? (some may be conciderably cheaper than others) shades on the eye as well ? or not?well half of a pair anyway.

its been a long time coming cocks deserve to be in fasion too .maybe more women would find them atractive. yours one eyed willie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I own a car sales and every day this couple keep coming in and having sex in the back of the cars in the showroom. I must admit I don’t mind them doing so as it attracts potential buyers on a daily basis. There were 40 people in the showroom at midday yesterday. The problem I have I’d they play for hours with the doors open and the batteries are going flat on the cars. My question is do you think removing the interior light bulbs could solve this problem?

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