FabSwingers.com forum: Messages??

By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Right guys it's a known fact that the ratio of men to women on here is nuts and that ladies do get swamped under with multitudes of messages and the fact is that they cant possibly read them all let alone answer all of them.

Anyways knowing your message has not been read and most probarbly lost in the multitudes,

When is the right time to send another polite message or if you do send one are you not nagging or too pushy??

Kinda a hard one if your a single guy messaging xx

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By *attoo manMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

Well said sir. I would like to know the answer to that also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All depends if you have read the profile at all or just looked at the pictures and what they are looking for ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

So kinda damed if you do and damed if you don't irrelevant if you can see the message has not been read?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So kinda damed if you do and damed if you don't irrelevant if you can see the message has not been read? "

Yep that's the way of the site unfortunately

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Never mind it's the end of the world this June again ha ha

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Chances are they checked your profile out and decided you weren't for them and consequently didn't bother opening the message.

I wouldn't let it bother you, but also I wouldn't bother with the follow on email.

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx"

Yep I would look at the profile first and if it interested me I may open the message if not I'd leave it unread and bulk delete whenever I bothered next.

I have often read a message then marked it unread if it didn't interest me to bulk delete later to save the other person seeing that I have read it and taking that as an invitation to keep on messaging hoping for a reply. Persistance isn't cool

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By *aut-eWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx

Yep I would look at the profile first and if it interested me I may open the message if not I'd leave it unread and bulk delete whenever I bothered next.

this for me too.

Some people come across as quite stalkerish when they wait for you to come online to send a message asking why you’ve not replied, kind of answering their own question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's simple really, if your message title stands out, you've included a face pic & the profile pic appeals your message is likely to be read, if not move on X

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By *aut-eWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"It's simple really, if your message title stands out, you've included a face pic & the profile pic appeals your message is likely to be read, if not move on X"

Spot on

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

So what would the ideal message heading be, do blokes go vulgar or polite?

In they're profiles do they go all filthy or just keep it normal and straight to the point or hope that they're copious amounts ov cock and naked body shots do the selling for them does that work?

Or is it better to drop the cock pic and just send decent recent facial pics?

Just a curious orange see

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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx"

Even if it’s been deleted unread it’ll say deleted.

Personally I always try to delete the ones I’m not interested in so those that check their sent box can see it’s been deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show they've read the profile is always a good start, do they meet what's being looked for. So message a liaison looking for a guy 6'4" if you're only 5'6" etc

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

"Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx

Even if it’s been deleted unread it’ll say deleted.

That's very curtious and makes perfect sense fp

Personally I always try to delete the ones I’m not interested in so those that check their sent box can see it’s been deleted. "

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By *aut-eWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"So what would the ideal message heading be, do blokes go vulgar or polite?

In they're profiles do they go all filthy or just keep it normal and straight to the point or hope that they're copious amounts ov cock and naked body shots do the selling for them does that work?

Or is it better to drop the cock pic and just send decent recent facial pics?

Just a curious orange see "

And there lies a conundrum, everyone on here is different and has their own preferred approach, my suggestion would be to read the profile, if it says to send a face pic then do it, if it says to put a certain subject title to prove you’ve read their profile then.... you’ve guessed it, do it. It doesn’t guarantee a message back however you are a bit closer to being noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple really, if your message title stands out, you've included a face pic & the profile pic appeals your message is likely to be read, if not move on X

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The issue with first messages is quite simple, don't be a dick! Don't have one in your public pics, don't act like one, don't talk like one and don't think with one and chances are you might just get your message read. Your message title needs to be something relevant and eye catching in amongst the sea of "Hey" "Hi" "How are you" and your message should never include anything sexual. Sure this is Fab but it's not a sex catalogue, women are human beings with feelings

and anything that sounds sleazy or is something that you would never say in a pub as your opening gambit should not be in your message.

If you don't get a reply, it's fine. I tend to re-message again though but after 2 or 3 months if I wasn't blocked just in case my message was missed in a bulk delete but it will be a totally different message but still following the same principles. I won't send a third message though, unless I receive one.

Respect gets you a very very long way on here. Too many people on both sides of the equation forget that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what would the ideal message heading be, do blokes go vulgar or polite?

In they're profiles do they go all filthy or just keep it normal and straight to the point or hope that they're copious amounts ov cock and naked body shots do the selling for them does that work?

Or is it better to drop the cock pic and just send decent recent facial pics?

Just a curious orange see

Omg how we hate those words, so much so we rarely do it. But then, as a couple lots of the rules don't seem to apply x

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

Respect gets you a very very long way on here. Too many people on both sides of the equation forget that. "

I'd agree with this. I've found in the past that just because a message hasn't been read it doesn't necessarily mean there not interested. Sometimes the messages just get lost amongst all the others. Try again in a couple of months. If you still don't get a reply add them to the block list so you know not to bother them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A message that obviously has not read one word of our profile woukd get binned straight away. A 2nd message along same lines be blocked.

As a single guy you have to make something stand out, profile, message etc. A profile with nothing filled out is of no interest, a one line message is if no interest, asking to meet now shows haven't read a word.

Make an effort with every message, be polite and remember that as couples and females (the minority) we can be picky.

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Must be my overwhelming uglyness then ha ha as I read profiles, make sure the requirements match, if theres something specific asked for to be put in message headding its done, send a polite message with pics if needed, conversation starts back and forth, if not already done exchange pics, and the convo still keeps up, keep the talk real and only if the ppl your messaging start dirty talk then you do, everything is going fine then bang outs bloo you blocked and this happens with newbies, varied, cpls and singles and thsts even if your message gets read and even if you get a reply. Asbo stupid to me again it just shows that theres sooo many on here varied or not that just enjoy fking decent people about on here it makes folk think what the hell they're doing wrong and also ppl will disagree with this buf it shows that yoh will get blocked for abso nothing at all!!

But yet you see statuses a of ladies and cpls moanibg like fk becase theres no one genuine in here, fed up of smutty messages, and let downs saying they will always answer to messages with pics attached and they don't which proper fks it up for us genuine players so when us singke guys get blamed for this n that a lot of the time is you messing us about not the other way round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The issue with first messages is quite simple, don't be a dick! Don't have one in your public pics, don't act like one, don't talk like one and don't think with one and chances are you might just get your message read. Your message title needs to be something relevant and eye catching in amongst the sea of "Hey" "Hi" "How are you" and your message should never include anything sexual. Sure this is Fab but it's not a sex catalogue, women are human beings with feelings

and anything that sounds sleazy or is something that you would never say in a pub as your opening gambit should not be in your message.

Respect gets you a very very long way on here. Too many people on both sides of the equation forget that. "

Don’t have a dick in your public photos, really ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be my overwhelming uglyness then ha ha as I read profiles, make sure the requirements match, if theres something specific asked for to be put in message headding its done, send a polite message with pics if needed, conversation starts back and forth, if not already done exchange pics, and the convo still keeps up, keep the talk real and only if the ppl your messaging start dirty talk then you do, everything is going fine then bang outs bloo you blocked and this happens with newbies, varied, cpls and singles and thsts even if your message gets read and even if you get a reply. Asbo stupid to me again it just shows that theres sooo many on here varied or not that just enjoy fking decent people about on here it makes folk think what the hell they're doing wrong and also ppl will disagree with this buf it shows that yoh will get blocked for abso nothing at all!!

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many use the block button to filter out those that don't interest them

It's a useful tool when used that way

You shouldn't take it personally

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

God no I'm not taking it personally but I read on another thread that ppl don't block for no reason at all when they clearly and obviously do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God no I'm not taking it personally but I read on another thread that ppl don't block for no reason at all when they clearly and obviously do "

It may seem like no reason to you but if that person no longer wishes any contact to take place between them and yourself, that is your reason. It saves them getting messaged by you and saves you wasting your time any further. So both parties benefit from it's use

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

[Removed by poster at 26/03/18 14:31:54]

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

No I've got to disagree; why start convo, swap pics, continue convo and make out your interested then straight outa bloo your blocked now if that ain't being fkd about its deffo being blocked for abso no reason spesh when they're keeping the convo going just to block you, now I for one don't beleive in cock pics or smutty messages but for all my manners and being polite I I just feel there is too many on here varied or otherwise just all to happy to mess ppl about same as moaning like fk about spelling and litriture; so long as you can understand who gives a fk, Welsh we are and Welsh ppl scrutinizing us on our English, wtfffff, just a bunch of picky argumentative tools if you ask me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I've got to disagree; why start convo, swap pics, continue convo and make out your interested then straight outa bloo your blocked now if that ain't being fkd about its deffo being blocked for abso no reason spesh when they're keeping the convo going just to block you, now I for one don't beleive in cock pics or smutty messages but for all my manners and being polite I I just feel there is too many on here varied or otherwise just all to happy to mess ppl about same as moaning like fk about spelling and litriture; so long as you can understand who gives a fk, Welsh we are and Welsh ppl scrutinizing us on our English, wtfffff, just a bunch of picky argumentative tools if you ask me

They probably quite simply changed their mind

Maybe someone better came along who they prefferred so they no longer wished to chat to you

You could drive yourself mad analyzing the reasons why

Being blocked is a clear sign that no further contact is wanted

Move on and find someone who is interested rather than worrying over those who aren't

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

They probably quite simply changed their mind

Maybe someone better came along who they prefferred so they no longer wished to chat to you

You could drive yourself mad analyzing the reasons why

Being blocked is a clear sign that no further contact is wanted

Move on and find someone who is interested rather than worrying over those who aren't

Best thing you can do. If you start over analysing things your self esteem will tale a knock. Just move on to the next luck lady

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Ohhh I'll not drive myself mad with the menial Bullshit in here or be bothered with the clique that ride in here as there is clearly one!

I'm just putting it out there for all the single males on here, proper genuine guys thats it hapoens to ever one and ppl will block you for no reason at all i dont care what they say it does happen all the time, again the same few ppl mostly commenting on the threads In here kinda makes it all seem a tad bias tbh,

But that said as I've already mentioned us single blokes get so much shit on here and called so many thing when in fact lots n lots of the time it's you the varied folk that have been on here a few years that also do a lot of the letting down or don't show and mess us about then slate us, mind what would I know I'm not a swinger no more as I'm single; when on here with ex wife mind I was called a swinger but not no more as single folk can't be swingers I've read in another post which is a ludicrous statement but hay hoo ha ha x

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

They probably quite simply changed their mind

Maybe someone better came along who they prefferred so they no longer wished to chat to you

You could drive yourself mad analyzing the reasons why

Being blocked is a clear sign that no further contact is wanted

Move on and find someone who is interested rather than worrying over those who aren't

Best thing you can do. If you start over analysing things your self esteem will tale a knock. Just move on to the next luck lady

Ohh god I'm not over analyzing I'm just putting it out there for all the single guys struggling is all, I've been on here 10 years to long to analyze anything i just see the site getting worse and worse, I've always paid for my site supported pass but not this time as it's throwing money into the fire the way ppl toy with others on here so fellas maybe here's you answers, some will agree and others won't but me, not 1 fk is given so peace out, live long and prosper and enjoy the games as this site is full ov neverbee players or fly by nighters where they're thought are most Def better than the fact, not to mention the pplgivibg false varies to ppl on here Willy nilly, fk back 15 or so years ago this site was very very fun and my god things have changed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh I'll not drive myself mad with the menial Bullshit in here or be bothered with the clique that ride in here as there is clearly one!

Evidently you are having a very different experience with your most recent time on here than I am. Yes I can agree with you that I will click on a previously unvisited profile only to find that I have been blocked, but it literally doesn't bother me.

Your comments about the same old commentators on the Welsh pages are also inaccurate. There are a few cliques in South Wales but none of the members of the various ones are posting in here lately. What you are seeing is people who choose to be active on the forums and fewer than 10% of profiles in Wales post here. It's a way to communicate with others and express views and opinions in a conversational way in the absence of face to face contact.

It's a shame you are not feeling as well received as you would like, but when people are giving you non-critical and non-personal reasonings or conjectures about the issues you articulate, there is little else anyone can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh I'll not drive myself mad with the menial Bullshit in here or be bothered with the clique that ride in here as there is clearly one!

I'm sorry OP I was trying to be helful in helping you understand why others may use the block button

Seems you are having a difficult time here at the moment

Hope things improve for you soon

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Noooo not at all Miss P im just a

seeing the same question popping up in other threads, in fact there's one going on right now in the Scottish forums called blocked and its exatly the same, its clear as day that ppl will message you maintain a false facade and keep genuine folk going only to block them for no reason at all it does happen, it is a fact and why ppl do it beggars belief tbh, were expected to be polite and curtious as single men.

Use our manners but in Wales as in other places ppl clearly have no manners, if folk make the effort in making sure they send decent messages it's not much to ask for a yes or no back as all to often your seeing ppl moaning like fk about the messages they are receiving yhat are diabolical but they clearly not taking notice of the tidy messages that ain't smutty off genuine guys, as ppl keep saying patience but none is shown to us when folk ain't got the paitence to even look at messages never mind reply, why are so many so expectant of others when they can't show back the same curtosy, its really not rocket science it's all manners which come freely to us all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

women are very strange creatures . when they want sex all the rules seem to dissapear.

but if the moon is aligned with mars and its a full one and the wind is coming from the east ....you might get lucky !

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

"women are very strange creatures . when they want sex all the rules seem to dissapear.

but if the moon is aligned with mars and its a full one and the wind is coming from the east ....you might get lucky !"

Hahaha buck that's just about right you old fkr lol ha ha you may remember me from many mang moons ago butty it's the Ex Mr Spice Fro Mrs Sugar And Mr Spice?

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

I remember when this was all fields, mushrooms anyone ha hs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

I'd say the same as miss p

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

It's all manners and curtosy which is expected of us tho seldom do we get an equal response as it seems manbers kinda only work the one way but thus is life it's a bitch that smells a funny colour ha ha

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

I'd say the same as miss p

If I remember rightly lovesalicking I messaged you once but had no reply so I gave it some time. To which a nice evening was had

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By *ve 66Woman
over a year ago

Blackwood

Must admit I answer everyone as profile says... wether it's a yes no or you gotta be joking. Then block them so they won't text again

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

"Must admit I answer everyone as profile says... wether it's a yes no or you gotta be joking. Then block them so they won't text again "

Thanks it's called manners, I understand that some don't even deserve an answer but the genuingly nice ones that make a effort they get snubbed terribly and out in the fucktard category, fp it don't seem that there's many like you on here xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

I'd say the same as miss p

If I remember rightly lovesalicking I messaged you once but had no reply so I gave it some time. To which a nice evening was had

I was not so cynical then .. and fab has changed some since then

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

"I'd say don't

I scan through messages and if I am interested I will read and maybe reply else I will just bulk delete now and again

I'd say if you don't get a reply or get deleted, take a hint and definitely don't message again

I'd say the same as miss p

If I remember rightly lovesalicking I messaged you once but had no reply so I gave it some time. To which a nice evening was had

I was not so cynical then .. and fab has changed some since then

Yep unfortunately. I will say though it was easier to start up a conversation a few years ago than now. Fuck it, soldier on

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

[Removed by poster at 26/03/18 17:11:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must admit I answer everyone as profile says... wether it's a yes no or you gotta be joking. Then block them so they won't text again

Manners!!! Wtf where on earth does this sense of entitlement come from? Same old whinging yaaaawn

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"So what would the ideal message heading be, do blokes go vulgar or polite?

In they're profiles do they go all filthy or just keep it normal and straight to the point or hope that they're copious amounts ov cock and naked body shots do the selling for them does that work?

Or is it better to drop the cock pic and just send decent recent facial pics?

Just a curious orange see "

Horses for courses. There's no one-size-fits-all message. Some women/couples will like polite and flirty, and some will like downright filthy.

That's why it's so important to read profiles, not just to ser what they want but to try and work out the tone of voice that'll work for them.

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

"Must admit I answer everyone as profile says... wether it's a yes no or you gotta be joking. Then block them so they won't text again

Manners!!! Wtf where on earth does this sense of entitlement come from? Same old whinging yaaaawn"

Well you'd expect no less yourself as stated but then you say things such as this, its not entitlement it's common curtosy and polite, if some one makes the effort to be polite to you and curtious as stated in spook many profiles, no one liners a or smut then a polite no wouldn't go a miss, entitlement my arse it's called manners which so many moan they want but then refuse to return the gesture, as I've said manners cost nothing either way

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Some clearly have none what so ever it seems

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I'd have to say the angry look isn't a good one on a website for people trying to attract sexual partners. Though I may be wrong

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Angry look????? Why because I'm sticking to my guns on manners? It's a debate can't folk put they're points out there or disagree with out folk assuming or jumping the gun, angry my gooch ha ha now that tickles my ribs it did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you aren't entitled to manners, you aren't entitled to replies, you aren't entitled to anything! None of us are, not you, not me, not them, nobody.

Put simply the people who post statuses of the sort the OP is mentioning are entitled to post what they want on their profile so long as it isn't naming and shaming. And when they are posting these sorts of things, maybe some common sense would say that it might not be a great idea to message them that day.

This is becoming tedious now.

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By *ilthyfucks69Couple
over a year ago

Neverland

I have sent you a private message to try and help op.

However, I have no sense of entitlment but I am a realist. As mentioned above, there is a huge amount of single males in comparison to couples/single females.

I for one, have seen how many messages females/couples get with just the general mind numbing hey how are you messages so you really do need to stand out from the crowd(in the right ways)

I like to think of it as like a job interview, you must sell yourself, be unique and always be patient even if you dont like the response or lack of response you get.

I would insist on not sending a second message if you dont get a reply as this happens to me and it really makes me lose my cool, this is a quicker way for people to filter through just by deleting.

Good luck, and id personally avoid moaning threads as many will simply use this thread to give them an insight into people's personalities.

Mrs

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By *funtimetaff OP Man
over a year ago

From a quiet corner in Porth

Moan nooooooooo it's a typical debate with plenty of different opinions which is good and refreshing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some clearly have none what so ever it seems "

I, Peachy have NONE then. Only one thing turns me off more than desperation & that's entitlement. I'm guessing you signed up to the site agreeing the Fab rules like most of us, maybe read them again. A no reply means NO. Its threads like this that make us blanket block single guys, even though I do meet single guys alone X

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By *ay rickMan
over a year ago

cardiff

You really gotta love this site

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Some clearly have none what so ever it seems

At this point it's worth reminding ourselves of what the Fab FAQ has to say on the matter...

"It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By *ve 66Woman
over a year ago

Blackwood

Manners maketh a man or women... except on FAB it seems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people have very short memories so it seems when bleating on about the manners of others and courtesy etc....

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By *eral SexMan
over a year ago

Port Talbot

"Ohhh well I guess this is your answer, do not send another message at all whether or not your first has been read as if it's polite or not your just keeping on or clutching at straws simples xx"

Maintain you dignity. If they haven't replied to the priceless work of literature that is a fab message, then they didn't deserve that message in the first place. Do not spare them a further thought.

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