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Are We a Lost Cause? Lol

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

I'm new on here and starting to feel my way around (sorry for any faux pas along the way)

As a single guy I get the feeling I am the spare wheel here. Is it normal to have had absolutely no female replies, to what I would hope are viewed as polite (if what slightly bumbling) introductions?

Are single guys really not that desirable? I will freely admit I have not been into the swinging thing before, so I don't understand the full details.

I don't want this to be viewed as a childish "why is no one talking to me" post, I'm just trying to get a sense of how it all works

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Its a buyers market, couples and fems have a huge pool to choose from.

Being married will cut your chances, although being honest about it will gain you some brownie points.

Go to socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have massive amounts of competition

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

But none of them are as awesome as me! Lol

Ok well even I don't believe that line ^^^ but I guess I need to work on my USP, so pointing out that I'm probably the tallest guy you'll meet could be an advantage?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First impressions count

There are loads of attractive fit men on here and ladies can pretty much pic and choose

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

So the fact that I'm not anything special in the looks department means I'm destined to be over looked lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not all about looks & tbf you don't look that rough X

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

Thank you!

That's the first nice thing a lady has said to me on here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So the fact that I'm not anything special in the looks department means I'm destined to be over looked lol"

That isn't what I said

You just need to make yourself stand out from everyone else

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

You have not been on here long as well but has already been said there are loads of guys on here so the women and couples who require them can afford to be choosy

As has been mentioned the socials in south wales do help on here

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly


"So the fact that I'm not anything special in the looks department means I'm destined to be over looked lol

That isn't what I said

You just need to make yourself stand out from everyone else"

Sorry I should have made it clearer, I was being self deprecating for comedy effect

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Nice pics. Good written bit with humour! And you have a veri already. You shouldn't have any problems.

Try the socials if can, you will certainly be remembered!!!

Personal preference, what's that on your chin!?

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly


"

Personal preference, what's that on your chin!? "

It's a distraction, you see you only referred to one of my chins so it clearly works

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By *rumph650Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet.

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"

Personal preference, what's that on your chin!?

It's a distraction, you see you only referred to one of my chins so it clearly works"

It distracts from everything!! standing next to you I'd only get the underside view anyway!!

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet. "

Very sweeping statement you are making there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet. "

You can predict that for another guy, you may not get a reply etc but some guy's here clearly do & lots of guys meet. I met a single guy last weekend, to do that I had to reply to his message & we both had to turn up. Btw he's one of several here who do get meets, the best advice any single guy could follow is to be polite, humorous, never whinge or put needy updates up & attend a social or two, although not all successful guy's attend these. As we always say here, you get out what you put in & most women would agree no effort on the profile generally = no effort in the bedroom. All the best in your swinging OP X

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By *rumph650Man
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet.

Very sweeping statement you are making there "

As you may know there are far more women than men on here and as a woman you don't know what the site is like from a mans perspective. I send what I like to think are well thought out engaging messages and always include a face pic and while I might not be George Clooney I like to think I have some physical appeal. However out of the messages I send I'd say less than 10% are even read therefore no decision can be made on their content, and out of the ones that are read id say less than 10% reply. I'm certainly not whinging or being snippy about it I'm merely stating a fact. Those are the dynamics of the site no doubt due to the ratio of men to women.

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet.

Very sweeping statement you are making there

As you may know there are far more women than men on here and as a woman you don't know what the site is like from a mans perspective. I send what I like to think are well thought out engaging messages and always include a face pic and while I might not be George Clooney I like to think I have some physical appeal. However out of the messages I send I'd say less than 10% are even read therefore no decision can be made on their content, and out of the ones that are read id say less than 10% reply. I'm certainly not whinging or being snippy about it I'm merely stating a fact. Those are the dynamics of the site no doubt due to the ratio of men to women. "

You started by saying there are more women than men on here. That is not the case. Men out number the women and couples by a hell of a lot!

I do know what it's like being a single guy on here, I've met plenty of them and they all tell me. I know it's tough. But if you don't put effort into your profile you won't get any results! Some sort of profile pic would be a great start.

We are not every person we message, cup of tea. Try to choose a profile with interests that match yours. That they are looking for a single guy. Etc etc

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By *rumph650Man
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It's very rare you'll get a reply and it's rare that the ones who do reply will meet.

Very sweeping statement you are making there

As you may know there are far more women than men on here and as a woman you don't know what the site is like from a mans perspective. I send what I like to think are well thought out engaging messages and always include a face pic and while I might not be George Clooney I like to think I have some physical appeal. However out of the messages I send I'd say less than 10% are even read therefore no decision can be made on their content, and out of the ones that are read id say less than 10% reply. I'm certainly not whinging or being snippy about it I'm merely stating a fact. Those are the dynamics of the site no doubt due to the ratio of men to women.

You started by saying there are more women than men on here. That is not the case. Men out number the women and couples by a hell of a lot!

I do know what it's like being a single guy on here, I've met plenty of them and they all tell me. I know it's tough. But if you don't put effort into your profile you won't get any results! Some sort of profile pic would be a great start.

We are not every person we message, cup of tea. Try to choose a profile with interests that match yours. That they are looking for a single guy. Etc etc "

I meant to write ore men than women that was an error, but the fact does remain a lot of messages sent are never read. It's a buyers market women are going to be inundated with messages they can't read them all regardless of how engaging your message or profile is. Maybe if you become more established and you build a group of friends that might change, but reading people's profiles generally single males are in lower demand than couples or single females so obviously it's going to be more difficult for a single male to get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if you get yourself known at socials etc people will open your mail, that's usually the short cut to success, assuming you use the opportunity to chat to people. Some women, who for some unknown reason don't use the message filters will get 100's of messages a day so will only open those from people they know in some way, it's not possible to open & reply to them all. You're right they won't give your message a 2nd look because you're just one of many & others who've made more effort stand out x

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By *rumph650Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

I'd love to go to more socials it's not always possible with work but I'll certainly keep my eyes open for them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd love to go to more socials it's not always possible with work but I'll certainly keep my eyes open for them x"

daytime, evenings, weekends, mid week there's lots to choose from X

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

Socials would be good if I weren't such a social handgrenade

I will see how it goes, maybe after chatting on here I may be slightly less socially inept lol

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest


"Socials would be good if I weren't such a social handgrenade

I will see how it goes, maybe after chatting on here I may be slightly less socially inept lol"
at least it may give you the opportunity of meeting those who post in these forums

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

Yeah I get that meeting people is the way forward but talking to people on here is a good start I guess

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By *aydee65Man
over a year ago

Near Merthyr

I've worked out roughly that I get one reply for every 25 or so messages (used to be 1 in 10 in the early days). About 1 in 10 replies leads to a meet and a lot of the meets will be social. Do the maths.... you need skin as thick as a rhino's arse !!! BUT... there are some lovely people on here so its definitely worth persevering.

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By *huckinsparks OP   Man
over a year ago

caerphilly

I'll take it as a training exercise, as I may appear to be a big tough guy the fact is I'm a sensitive little flower lol

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