FabSwingers.com forum: Organised socials

By *bbaddon OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Im not really a regular user of the forums, so I dont know if this has been covered before. The thought occured to me after I discussed the possibility of attending an event.

Why are there so many new socials (daytime, singles etc) popping up that completely disregard the need for some form of vetting?

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By *ilthyfucks69Couple
over a year ago

Neverland

I should imagine it would be a worry for the social organisers but you can't live your life worrying what if.

If we lived our life thinking what if and about all the possible outcomes, I'd never try anything new, never drive etc

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not really a regular user of the forums, so I dont know if this has been covered before. The thought occured to me after I discussed the possibility of attending an event.

Why are there so many new socials (daytime, singles etc) popping up that completely disregard the need for some form of vetting?

Further to that, they are providing a loop-hole that can be exploited, meaning anyone who attends one then gets verifications, which then allow them access to the larger socials. even in my limited time on here, I know there have been problems with socials being in the press. I cant be the only one that thinks there could be a problem?"
no different to being verified by any other means? Webcam, social coffee etc... not everyone meets and gets straight down to it. Verifying is essentially to prove the person is real and that they turn up.

I'd say 50% of the people I have met on fab aren't who they claim to actually be. Job/single/married etc.

I think the more you involve yourself in the scene, the more you will be able to spot the ones who need to be kept at arms length!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I've always said, for us, the only veri worth taking note of is a play veri, until someone has that, we are wary.

It is difficult to get started, its a bit of a "chicken and egg" scenario, cant get veried until you have a meet, cant get a meet without a veri.

But I can also see where the OP is coming from.

And then there are the organisers, who are trying to help those who are looking for that first step-up.

No matter what, you aint going to keep everyone happy lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always said, for us, the only veri worth taking note of is a play veri, until someone has that, we are wary.

It is difficult to get started, its a bit of a "chicken and egg" scenario, cant get veried until you have a meet, cant get a meet without a veri.

But I can also see where the OP is coming from.

And then there are the organisers, who are trying to help those who are looking for that first step-up.

No matter what, you aint going to keep everyone happy lol.

"
I agree with the play veri.

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By *arren e treggidenMan
over a year ago

pembroke dock wales

"I've always said, for us, the only veri worth taking note of is a play veri, until someone has that, we are wary.

It is difficult to get started, its a bit of a "chicken and egg" scenario, cant get veried until you have a meet, cant get a meet without a veri.

But I can also see where the OP is coming from.

And then there are the organisers, who are trying to help those who are looking for that first step-up.

No matter what, you aint going to keep everyone happy lol.

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By *arren e treggidenMan
over a year ago

pembroke dock wales

I organise socials play nights and club meets people who turn up at socials are normally ok socials are vetted to a standard I did a non vetted social sent 40 invitations 5 people turned up so the experiment told me most people are full of poo and if anyone gets a veri off me they deserve one I don't veri. Easy because I respect people on here I have been around a wile so know the score

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

"I organise socials play nights and club meets people who turn up at socials are normally ok socials are vetted to a standard I did a non vetted social sent 40 invitations 5 people turned up so the experiment told me most people are full of poo and if anyone gets a veri off me they deserve one I don't veri. Easy because I respect people on here I have been around a wile so know the score"

Totally agree with you there, Warren.

You can usually tell who's serious about coming to a social, just by what they write on a thread:

"Count me in" = "Cat in hell's chance" of actually turning up

With a bit of common sense you can often "filter" the good 'uns from the rotten eggs

If we were to restrict all socials to verified fabbers though, then it becomes a closed shop (I won't use the C word

)

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By *arren e treggidenMan
over a year ago

pembroke dock wales

Totally agree with you there, Warren.

You can usually tell who's serious about coming to a social, just by what they write on a thread:

"Count me in" = "Cat in hell's chance" of actually turning up

With a bit of common sense you can often "filter" the good 'uns from the rotten eggs

If we were to restrict all socials to verified fabbers though, then it becomes a closed shop (I won't use the C word

)

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By *ackInBlackMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I'd say 50% of the people I have met on fab aren't who they claim to actually be. Job/single/married etc.

I think the more you involve yourself in the scene, the more you will be able to spot the ones who need to be kept at arms length!

You are spot on there M/s Mav

The more socials you attend, the more you will be able to spot the wannabees, bullshitters, and those who never intend to meet at all

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

Hi, We meet wannabees, bullshitters and alike, only because we are having a cold drink before the beach, we say out of 15 single men who wanted to meet only three turned up this year, but its not only men many couples said lets meet up then go cold.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Totally agree with you there, Warren.

You can usually tell who's serious about coming to a social, just by what they write on a thread:

"Count me in" = "Cat in hell's chance" of actually turning up

With a bit of common sense you can often "filter" the good 'uns from the rotten eggs

If we were to restrict all socials to verified fabbers though, then it becomes a closed shop (I won't use the C word

)

You have to balance between making it easier for newbies, against the security of events etc.

Personally, I would rather security (vetting, or what ever you would like to call it) was tighter, with newbies encouraged to go to more club-based events to pick up play veries.

Sure, that way its a bit hard to get started, but ask anyone who's been the subject of media scrutiny on here and I think they'd agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only have one issue with any organised social or party and that is where the organizer is in it to purely make a profit.

Only swingers with play verifications/experience should go into organising these events in my opinion and not anyone who wants to make a profit.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"I only have one issue with any organised social or party and that is where the organizer is in it to purely make a profit.

Only swingers with play verifications/experience should go into organising these events in my opinion and not anyone who wants to make a profit.

Its easy to avoid them, any "party" (usually held in hotels) where they charge to cover "costs"... not sure what costs they are talking about but its a nice little earner!

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By *arren e treggidenMan
over a year ago

pembroke dock wales

"I only have one issue with any organised social or party and that is where the organizer is in it to purely make a profit.

Only swingers with play verifications/experience should go into organising these events in my opinion and not anyone who wants to make a profit.

socials i organise are free no costs what so ever my play nights are free the club will be charges to cover insurance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only have one issue with any organised social or party and that is where the organizer is in it to purely make a profit.

Only swingers with play verifications/experience should go into organising these events in my opinion and not anyone who wants to make a profit.

socials i organise are free no costs what so ever my play nights are free the club will be charges to cover insurance

I wasn't alluding to anyone specifically, please don't think I was xx it's been a long time since I went to one about 2 years or so, so I wouldn't know any organisers or how they go about it. It just used to peeve me when you'd pay, to get in then have a raffles rammed in your face, and talk to others there who had never known the organiser to have played on the scene.

Or go to a house party and pay for a buffet that took a fraction of what you paid to throw together and you see 50+ other people who'd obviously paid the same

lol

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By *bbaddon OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Some well thought out responses there.

I can understand that it's hard for newbies, but we were all newbies once, I still say giving them a golden ticket is a recipe for disaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some well thought out responses there.

I can understand that it's hard for newbies, but we were all newbies once, I still say giving them a golden ticket is a recipe for disaster."
people could possibly say your a newbie, as you only have 2 cam veris and the last one was 3 years ago. Unless you have met people and they haven't verified you. Yes, you do have to be careful with unverified and even cam verified people at the daytime socials and singles socials, but these are in a public house, not a private venue and as most of the organisers are aware that people talk and tell people which public house it is in. This has been proven. Whatever social it is, there is still a chance of it ending up in the limelight.

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By *wanseaStudentMan
over a year ago

Wales- Swansea,Cardiff, Newport/ West/East Midlands - Birmingham, Coventry, Leicster.

I have struggled too get meets even though I have some veris, I am a genuine guy looking for that NSA fun. I know there are time wasters and pic collectors that are on here I also know the male female odds are more too males than females which don't help. I didn't know about the forums until a week ago as I'm not really active in the swinging scene so I didn't know about socials etc, however I will be trying too attend social parties and clubs from now on. Be good too meet some of you guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some well thought out responses there.

I can understand that it's hard for newbies, but we were all newbies once, I still say giving them a golden ticket is a recipe for disaster."

How is it giving them a golden ticket? It's no different than if I go for a coffee meet, verify the user that they turned up, looked like their pictures etc. If they then turn out to be a psycho how the hell am I supposed to assess that on a half hour coffee meet when they are just showing their best side?

Veris are just another tool, to be used with common sense. Some unverified people that I've met have been great, however some well verified members have been total twats. Of course they were wonderful according to their veris. Just use common sense.this isn't a club to be taken seriously.

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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

"Some well thought out responses there.

I can understand that it's hard for newbies, but we were all newbies once, I still say giving them a golden ticket is a recipe for disaster.

I totally agree with what you say. I too have met some people with glowing verifications and have wondered if I had actually met the person the verification was written about.

As you say just be sensible and go with your gut feeling

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By *bbaddon OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I understand the point being made about cam, or "coffee" veries, my point was more about the press, and that this is an "easy in" for them, they go to one social, speak to a few people, get a handful of veries, and then they are eligible for the larger socials, which gives them more access. Pics are easy to take in low light, or without anyone noticing, indeed, someone posted on the Swingfields thread about being stood "very near" to the person (reporter) that took the pics that ended up in the paper, and they saw nothing untoward.

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By *bbaddon OP Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Some well thought out responses there.

I can understand that it's hard for newbies, but we were all newbies once, I still say giving them a golden ticket is a recipe for disaster.people could possibly say your a newbie, as you only have 2 cam veris and the last one was 3 years ago. Unless you have met people and they haven't verified you. Yes, you do have to be careful with unverified and even cam verified people at the daytime socials and singles socials, but these are in a public house, not a private venue and as most of the organisers are aware that people talk and tell people which public house it is in. This has been proven. Whatever social it is, there is still a chance of it ending up in the limelight."

My late wife and I swung together, and about 8 years ago we attended a Cardiff social. Whilst there is a gap between then and me coming back on here, I still feel I know a little about the "scene". I do hope you understand it was never my intention to upset anyone, I think anyone who organises any event is to be applauded, I was only trying to address an issue, and by highlighting it, try to generate a discussion which might educate people, as well as possibly throwing up points that could be used to make these events more secure for everyone.

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