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rejection

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

why do people get funny when you politely say no thanks ,or should we not bother replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they react like that when you politely say no then no was obviously the right decision. I prefer a polite no than just having the message deleted as I find it rude to just delete but thats just my humble opinion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it would probably be better to politely say no thanks if that's what you wish to do and then block them, if your not interested then blocking saves all of the nasty rejection remarks

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By *ust JoanWoman
over a year ago

caerphilly

I agree in principal whith the 2 reply's to this topic, Casper hit it on the head, but Kev saying block them, well that shouldn't need doing, if someone reply's saying thanks but not really what we are looking for that should be enough, there should be no nastyness at all, just gracefully accept it and move on.

Yes this is a swinging site, but just because that's what it is doesn't mean we all just shag anyone, me for instance have only played once in 6 years, and that is my choice, I have a certain type I find attractive, if I don't see that in someone then I won't just shag them for the sake of it, and Joan is exactly the same.

So if we say no to someone it is because they are not our type, there are plenty of others on this site who's type they will be, so just move on and take it for what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The question of wether to answer with a polite "No Thanks" or simply not to answer at all is a real dilemma.

When we started we always answered politely but honestly and got a lot of very nasty responses. So we stopped answering.

We have been turned down ourselves and have no problem at all with it.

We agree a polite "no thanks" should be enough, but it rarely is and absolutely agree that the people who react badly simply confirm you have made the right decision to turn them down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who the hell turned you down sex seakers ?? were they blind as well as stupid ? lol .. on the subject i send out some messages saying hi etc and try to make it light hearted , i never go in for the kill saying i want you lets shag as it gets you nowhere and even with my light hearted messages i hardly ever get a reply but you then have to think that i am probably one of 100s of messages that they might get so you have to think oh well move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite no is perfect as no answer at all is quite rude or maybe a little arrogant lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a single male and I've had loads of no thanks or ignores.. I am always polite.

I always find no answer a bit rude, but when you get loads of email its impossible, so I understand that.

You'll never please everyone and if they react like that, they aren't worth it, you had a lucky escape.

What would they have been like if you decided we don't want to swing with you anymore?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i appreciate a no thank you reply more than just an ignore and always reply back thanking them for letting me know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to remain polite at all times but if a guy sends me a lets shag now message with no pic attached I figure thats plain rude, so I will often block. If a person has gone to the trouble of writing a polite message introducing themselves I will always respond likewise & explain why they are not for me. So what Im trying to say is Irespond as I receive xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people learned to read profiles then the number of rejections may be lessened. If someone msgs me and obviously hasn't read ALL my profile then I will just delete as I explain in the bulletpoints on there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I find more insulting is if someone msg's us baring in mind we're a couple and we play as a couple only and they ask just to play with one of us i find that very disrespectful. Even more when they get arsey because we say no. I think a lot of people dont read profiles at all, see a pic and automatically think that your up for it with anyone and everyone. The swing scene is all about having loads of fun but at the same time respect must be given to everyone at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a good point made by Cariad. Time for a profile re-write I think...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we found some on here think it is ok just too just delete message with even to common courtesy or decency of saying not for us

But it’s ok as we do not like meeting ignorant people anyway so block them before making the same mistake twice

Ps

We happy with message not for us as everyone knows where they are and agree as not compatible then we block account just to avoid repeating contact which seems the right thing to do

Pps

We are careful to read profiles before sending message but if people send us a friend invite without message or obvious they not read profile and as it says it is just deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/05/11 21:59:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pppppps

Rant over lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think a no thanx reply would be good but im shure its mainly us single guys who dont get them becaus of the amount of mail cpls and single ladys get you cant anser em all thats life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of people dont read profiles at all, see a pic and automatically think that your up for it with anyone and everyone. The swing scene is all about having loads of fun but at the same time respect must be given to everyone at all times. "

Absolutely!

Couldn't agree more.

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By *rs Sugar Mr SpiceCouple
over a year ago

We are about 15 mins outa Pontypridd and we do go to Crawley in west sussex 2-3 times a year so get in touch !!

We like to reply to everybody who messages us either way coz if they can be arsed to show interest the least we can do is reply but we have found that there are a few cpls out there that are not happy wi being told that you are not for us or that you are not what we are looking for they want to know why they arnt for us or why they not wat we are looking for ,now thats when it does get imbarrasing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a young guy on here i get alot of refections,

but im always poilte and always say thank you for replying, always appreicate a reply rather then being ignored xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a fem, I get a shit-ton of messages every day. Realistically, it's not feasible for me to sit and reply to each one or I'd be here til kingdom come.

If they've complimented me or read my profile and messaged, then I'll reply.

If they send a cut & paste job or say something which shows they haven't even read my profile, then they're blocked and deleted. Same goes for crude messages and those who don't fit my criteria.

Harsh, but works a charm. =)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our profile is quite descriptive yet we still get mails from people who are the total opposite of what we're looking for.

We usually reply by saying we feel we are not compatable yet a few cpls reply asking why. What the hell are we supposed to say then? When couples turn us down we thank them for thier honesty and move on. Wish others could do that xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wh would turn you down lol, I'm in the politeness corner but sometimes a tell us about yourself doesn't hurt and makes u feel wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our profile is quite descriptive yet we still get mails from people who are the total opposite of what we're looking for.

We usually reply by saying we feel we are not compatable yet a few cpls reply asking why. What the hell are we supposed to say then? When couples turn us down we thank them for thier honesty and move on. Wish others could do that xxx"
Totally agree, we had a couple last week we turned down, they set up another profile just to send us abusive comments!!! Childish i think!!!!

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