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"Got a problem, and don't know who to turn to for advice? Have an embarrassing situation and don't want to ask friends or family what to do? Then never fear, Deidre is here! Post your quandaries, problems, concerns and questions, and I will pass them on to her and she will endeavour to solve them, no problem too big, or too small. Just a note of caution, she's a plain speaking bird, who doesn't sugar-coat her advice, so if you are looking for tea and sympathy then, in her own immortal words "you are shit out of luck sunshine!" "How can I get a cum stain out of a Kashmir Scarf? It can't be boil washed... | |||
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"Got a problem, and don't know who to turn to for advice? Have an embarrassing situation and don't want to ask friends or family what to do? Then never fear, Deidre is here! Post your quandaries, problems, concerns and questions, and I will pass them on to her and she will endeavour to solve them, no problem too big, or too small. Just a note of caution, she's a plain speaking bird, who doesn't sugar-coat her advice, so if you are looking for tea and sympathy then, in her own immortal words "you are shit out of luck sunshine!"
How can I get a cum stain out of a Kashmir Scarf? It can't be boil washed... "Deidre says... I think the problem can be solved with A. A power washer for the scarf, and... B. A new pair of specs to help improve your aim! However, a thought occurs, perhaps you are just trying to show of your wealth, most of the guys use a sports sock to wank into, you had to go one better with a posh scarf, didn't you?  | |||
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"Dear Deidre. Thinking of buying a new car..?.is it likely or possible that "her indoors" Will have an impact on my decision of engine size, model, or colour" Deidre says... Oh, ffs, man up! Who wears the trousers over there mun? Buy the biggest, flashest, fastest car you can find, and tell her if she doesn't like it, the bus timetables are on the interwebby these days!  | |||
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"Got a problem, and don't know who to turn to for advice? Have an embarrassing situation and don't want to ask friends or family what to do? Then never fear, Deidre is here! Post your quandaries, problems, concerns and questions, and I will pass them on to her and she will endeavour to solve them, no problem too big, or too small. Just a note of caution, she's a plain speaking bird, who doesn't sugar-coat her advice, so if you are looking for tea and sympathy then, in her own immortal words "you are shit out of luck sunshine!"
How can I get a cum stain out of a Kashmir Scarf? It can't be boil washed...
Deidre says...
I think the problem can be solved with
A. A power washer for the scarf, and...
B. A new pair of specs to help improve your aim!
However, a thought occurs, perhaps you are just trying to show of your wealth, most of the guys use a sports sock to wank into, you had to go one better with a posh scarf, didn't you? "It wasn't my scarf!  | |||
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"Dear Deidre. Thinking of buying a new car..?.is it likely or possible that "her indoors" Will have an impact on my decision of engine size, model, or colour Deidre says... Oh, ffs, man up! Who wears the trousers over there mun? Buy the biggest, flashest, fastest car you can find, and tell her if she doesn't like it, the bus timetables are on the interwebby these days! "Thanks for the advice Deidre....just told her I'm the man in this house...I'm in A&E writing this to you. She said you're a cuck from now on and hit me with a saucepan, nurse said it should only be about 5 stitches. Should I take flowers or chocolates home with me ? | |||
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"Dear dedrie , i'v just been removed from asdas by security, apparently someone saw me shove a carrot up my ring, but honestly I was only shoving the farmer Giles back up, and nothing else like sexual plessure. Yes I should have wiped it b4 returning it to the shelf. What do you think will happen now? " Deidre says ... You'll probably get done for "outraging public decency".. and quite right too, a carrot, I ask you, bloody pervert... don't you know you are supposed to use a cucumber for that sort of thing, why do you think they come ready-wrapped in their own condom ffs? | |||
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"Dear Deidre. Thinking of buying a new car..?.is it likely or possible that "her indoors" Will have an impact on my decision of engine size, model, or colour Deidre says... Oh, ffs, man up! Who wears the trousers over there mun? Buy the biggest, flashest, fastest car you can find, and tell her if she doesn't like it, the bus timetables are on the interwebby these days!
Thanks for the advice Deidre....just told her I'm the man in this house...I'm in A&E writing this to you. She said you're a cuck from now on and hit me with a saucepan, nurse said it should only be about 5 stitches. Should I take flowers or chocolates home with me ?"See, this is where you men haven't thought things through, have you? You put a woman in the kitchen and tell her that's where she belongs... but its bristling with weapons, full of sharp knives, and heavy pans!!! I'd go with choccies myself, she might just show you where to put the flowers when you meekly say "where do you want these love?" | |||
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"Dear dedrie , i'v just been removed from asdas by security, apparently someone saw me shove a carrot up my ring, but honestly I was only shoving the farmer Giles back up, and nothing else like sexual plessure. Yes I should have wiped it b4 returning it to the shelf. What do you think will happen now? Deidre says ... You'll probably get done for "outraging public decency".. and quite right too, a carrot, I ask you, bloody pervert... don't you know you are supposed to use a cucumber for that sort of thing, why do you think they come ready-wrapped in their own condom ffs? "thanks for the help cucumber it is from now on | |||
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"dear deidre ive just swapped mrs tampon for party popper,can you give me advice of where i could possibly hide?" Deidre says.... To quote many a bad guy from the movies "You can run, but you cant hide"... probably cos you are shit at hide'n'seek. I hope she sees the funny side, or else the next time she gives you a blow job.... well, I think you get the idea! | |||
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"Got a problem, and don't know who to turn to for advice? Have an embarrassing situation and don't want to ask friends or family what to do? Then never fear, Deidre is here! Post your quandaries, problems, concerns and questions, and I will pass them on to her and she will endeavour to solve them, no problem too big, or too small. Just a note of caution, she's a plain speaking bird, who doesn't sugar-coat her advice, so if you are looking for tea and sympathy then, in her own immortal words "you are shit out of luck sunshine!" "My wife has eloped with my best friend. How do I win him back? | |||
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"Dear Derdrie, I Saw buy 2 get 3 packs of condoms in tesco. Do i go for it or will they perrish before i get to use them?" Deidre says... Well, after some research, I've found that the lifespan of a condom is 5 years... so yes, you'd be wasting your money!  | |||
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"Dear D ,i've been on google maps all day looking for gobblers knob but cannot find it. any ideas of where it is? " Deidre says... Sounds like it might be near Three Cocks, just past Lord Herefords' Knob. Also sounds like you might need to get out more! | |||
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"Got a problem, and don't know who to turn to for advice? Have an embarrassing situation and don't want to ask friends or family what to do? Then never fear, Deidre is here! Post your quandaries, problems, concerns and questions, and I will pass them on to her and she will endeavour to solve them, no problem too big, or too small. Just a note of caution, she's a plain speaking bird, who doesn't sugar-coat her advice, so if you are looking for tea and sympathy then, in her own immortal words "you are shit out of luck sunshine!"
My wife has eloped with my best friend. How do I win him back?"Deidre says.... try wearing stockings and heels, it worked for her! | |||
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"Dear Deardrie I woke after drinking heavily in the pub bar. I was holding three darts and had noticed according to the score board I'd scored 197 in a single visit to the oche. Well this is record breaking and I want to know how to go about getting my achievement officially recognised by the darts foundation?" Deidre says... Throwing hedgehogs at the dart board is frowned upon in polite society! The only people who would be interested are countryfile! | |||
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"Dear Deirdre I like this girl at work , should i send her a photo of my knob to show her that i like her ? " Deidre says... Yes, that's just what every lady wants, a pic of a knob, its true what they say, its the small things that make a difference! | |||
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"thanks deidre for your sound advice , i went to the local library and photo copied it as i like 2 other girls and the lollypop lady on the way to work ... thing is tho i think i left a bit of a skid mark on the photo coppier in the library and they wont let me back in .. can you return my books if i send you them please . " Deidre says... Well, I'm not sure I want to be associated with someone who defecates on public property, but so long as you've not borrowed those "adult periodicals" again I guess I can help you out. | |||
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"Dear Deirdre, I wanted to say that this is the best thread I've seen in this forum for ages, but I'm worried everyone will think I'm being a suck up. What should I do? "Deidre says... I wouldn't worry what other people think sweetie, just live your life how you want to, now that you have decided to come out of the closet you will feel so much better. | |||
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"dear deidre ive just swapped mrs tampon for party popper,can you give me advice of where i could possibly hide? Deidre says.... To quote many a bad guy from the movies "You can run, but you cant hide"... probably cos you are shit at hide'n'seek. I hope she sees the funny side, or else the next time she gives you a blow job.... well, I think you get the idea! " | |||
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"dear deidre my mrs says my cock is like a tic tac,and is now wondering why her mothers breath always smells so minty,doyou have any advice for me on this matter?" Deidre says ... Tic tac? I don't think its the taste she's on about tiny! Swap the MiL's toothpaste for a tube of fish paste, that'll give the wife something to think about, and take her mind off your small problem! | |||
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"Dear deardrie I know someone that has really fowl body odour people pull faces when she goes near them,they also talk behind her back she always looks unwashed and her clothes gruby, she doesnt seem to know or perhaps she doesnt care, should i tell her?" Deidre says ... I'd just sign her up for as many bathroom freebies from catalogues, womens mags and pet stores as I could, and if she doesn't get the hint at the mailbox full of trial samples, then just hose the skank down and use a yard brush and some domestos on her! | |||
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"Dear Dedrie I have a butch sister working for a drugs baron in Guatemala. A brother who has a very bad ingrowing to nails in fact gangrenous. A child who is a prostitute and he can,T get enough work. My question is. Is it too early to put on the Christmas sprouts?" Deidre says ... Too early? dear god woman, its way too late, everyone knows that good sprouts should be boiled to a mush, gas mark 5 at Easter, and turn them down to a simmer from late September! Bottom marks for home economics, you are deffo no domestic goddess! | |||
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"Dear Deadre, my husband has this female friend who is rather plane speaking and likes to stick her nose into other peoples business, she means well but is a bit rough round the edges, should I be worried about them two together? "Deidre says ... I wouldn't worry sweetheart, this other woman sounds like a real diamond, a girl after my own heart, the kind of friend who tells it how it is without beating around the bush, just be glad he's got her to steer him in the right direction. | |||
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"This is just so funny.  "Deidre says... Shame on you for taking delight at others misfortunes madam! It's ladies like you who need a bit of a spanking to show them that not everything in the garden is rosy, and I know just the guy to administer it! | |||
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"This has had me weak laughing, FairPlay our Deirdre is on top form well done. " we use to have dear deidre before, but I think she give out some wrong advice and layed low until now. nice to see her back giving shit advice !! I mean good advice . | |||
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"Dear Dedrie I have a butch sister working for a drugs baron in Guatemala. A brother who has a very bad ingrowing to nails in fact gangrenous. A child who is a prostitute and he can,T get enough work. My question is. Is it too early to put on the Christmas sprouts? Deidre says ... Too early? dear god woman, its way too late, everyone knows that good sprouts should be boiled to a mush, gas mark 5 at Easter, and turn them down to a simmer from late September! Bottom marks for home economics, you are deffo no domestic goddess!" Thank you Dee you're a goddess | |||
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"Dear Dedrie I have a butch sister working for a drugs baron in Guatemala. A brother who has a very bad ingrowing to nails in fact gangrenous. A child who is a prostitute and he can,T get enough work. My question is. Is it too early to put on the Christmas sprouts? Deidre says ... Too early? dear god woman, its way too late, everyone knows that good sprouts should be boiled to a mush, gas mark 5 at Easter, and turn them down to a simmer from late September! Bottom marks for home economics, you are deffo no domestic goddess! Thank you Dee you're a goddess" Deidre says... Thank you dear, one does what one can to lighten the burden for the little people. | |||
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"Dear Deidre Please can i borrow Ken need some books explaining thanks Audrey "Deidre says.... Wrong one hun, she's been gone a while. | |||
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"Dear Deidre.... Once again I'm in desperate need of advice and find your sporadic clinic hours unbearable. I am being tortured by her indoors and you are the only person I can talk to for strength and support. Due to the sporadic hours would it be possible to have a signed photograph of you and some dirty gusset knickers to put in my secret cupboard in the garage...that way I'll be able to take respite whilst resting my ears from the horrible cow! Yours in earnest Cuck" Deidre says.... I have a busy schedule my dear, so just keep checking the thread for updates. I don't give out pics or items of clothing, what do you think I am, some sort of lending library? I'd say you need to take control in your own house, and teach your wife some manners, sounds like she's been having it her own way for far too long! | |||
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"Dear dedrie, I'm a shy sort of a guy, sometimes woman or fuck i'v said it now. I would rather speak to a male about these problems, are you still married to dear dug ? Many thanks lillibob" Deidre says... So you are saying you are Arthur in the week, and Martha at weekends? It takes years of gossiping... erm, I mean training to become as adept as I at giving advice, so you don't need to bother anyone else, just say what you feel, and if you feel the need to dress up in your wifes clothes then take a cold shower! | |||
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"Dear Deidre.... Once again I'm in desperate need of advice and find your sporadic clinic hours unbearable. I am being tortured by her indoors and you are the only person I can talk to for strength and support. Due to the sporadic hours would it be possible to have a signed photograph of you and some dirty gusset knickers to put in my secret cupboard in the garage...that way I'll be able to take respite whilst resting my ears from the horrible cow! Yours in earnest Cuck Deidre says.... I have a busy schedule my dear, so just keep checking the thread for updates. I don't give out pics or items of clothing, what do you think I am, some sort of lending library? I'd say you need to take control in your own house, and teach your wife some manners, sounds like she's been having it her own way for far too long!" | |||
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"Dear derrière How the flock do I stop my flapping phone from autocorrecting my pistes? It's really annoying and irritants and makes know insence Yores Rough" Deidre says... If modern technology is too much for you, then try what they used when you were a lad at school, and write it out on a slate with some chalk, before typing it in and proof-reading it before sending. Alternatively, just audition for the role of the French Policeman in the internet version of 'allo 'allo | |||
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"Dear deidre I haven't had sex in 4 months and feel as though I am going insane. My right arm is no bulkier than my left arm and people are suspicious. What can I do" Deidre says ... To throw people off the scent, just tell them you sent for a bodybuilding manual, but they only sent the first half! As for the insanity, don't resist it, enjoy it, lets face it, you are in good company on here! | |||
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"Dear Deidre I have a big black dildo I no longer need its gone to small for my over stretched pussy iv tried wrapping it in cling film to bulk it up with no success so I need a new one I was thinking would you like it for ken its well used but still in good working order" Deidre says... I'm a big fan of recycling, and can always be relied upon to help people re-use items in a new and surprising ways. In this case, you just need to get an oversized washer that will fit snuggly over the dildo, and then push it down until it wedges near the base... et voila, as the French say, a great anal dildo for you! I'll send you a catalogue of "Super-size" marital aids that someone sent me once as a joke, I'm sure you'll find something to fit in there my dear, only, don't try order the big red one in the picture on page three, it will probably fit, but it's better kept for it's proper use as a fire extinguisher! You are the second lady (I use the term loosely) to mistakenly assume that I have a partner called Ken, the last Ken I had in my bedroom was Barbies boyfriend. | |||
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"Dear deidre, Yesterday my Mrs said to me; the neighbours dog has shit on the garden. "Can you get a spade and throw it over the fence into there's"? Problem is now, my neighbour has got my spade and there's still shit on my lawn. What do I do?" Deidre says... Ah yes, I can see that your wife must have had a momentary lapse of judgement and credited you with more than a single digit I.Q., poor woman. Best plan is to place the dog shit in a paper bag, place the bag on the doorstep of your neighbours front door, set light to the paper bag and ring the bell. When you neighbour is busy trying to put out the fire by stamping on it, you can use the ensuing mayhem as a diversion to jump over the fence and retrieve the spade... and if there is time, smack the dog with it on your way back. | |||
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"Dear dedrie, I'm a shy sort of a guy, sometimes woman or fuck i'v said it now. I would rather speak to a male about these problems, are you still married to dear dug ? Many thanks lillibob Deidre says... So you are saying you are Arthur in the week, and Martha at weekends? It takes years of gossiping... erm, I mean training to become as adept as I at giving advice, so you don't need to bother anyone else, just say what you feel, and if you feel the need to dress up in your wifes clothes then take a cold shower!"  | |||
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"Dear dedrie , i'v just been removed from asdas by security, apparently someone saw me shove a carrot up my ring, but honestly I was only shoving the farmer Giles back up, and nothing else like sexual plessure. Yes I should have wiped it b4 returning it to the shelf. What do you think will happen now? Deidre says ... You'll probably get done for "outraging public decency".. and quite right too, a carrot, I ask you, bloody pervert... don't you know you are supposed to use a cucumber for that sort of thing, why do you think they come ready-wrapped in their own condom ffs? "I actually dropped my phone laughing at this | |||
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"dear deidre ive just swapped mrs tampon for party popper,can you give me advice of where i could possibly hide? Deidre says.... To quote many a bad guy from the movies "You can run, but you cant hide"... probably cos you are shit at hide'n'seek. I hope she sees the funny side, or else the next time she gives you a blow job.... well, I think you get the idea! "Well you can run but you will die tired is what I am thinking lol. Fair play this is the beast thread I have ever read on here I am in stitches x | |||
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"Dear deidre I haven't had sex in 4 months and feel as though I am going insane. My right arm is no bulkier than my left arm and people are suspicious. What can I do" Sounds like the next time you get laid it will feel like you are cheating on your wrist mate lol | |||
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"Dear Deidre I have a big black dildo I no longer need its gone to small for my over stretched pussy iv tried wrapping it in cling film to bulk it up with no success so I need a new one I was thinking would you like it for ken its well used but still in good working order Deidre says... I'm a big fan of recycling, and can always be relied upon to help people re-use items in a new and surprising ways. In this case, you just need to get an oversized washer that will fit snuggly over the dildo, and then push it down until it wedges near the base... et voila, as the French say, a great anal dildo for you! I'll send you a catalogue of "Super-size" marital aids that someone sent me once as a joke, I'm sure you'll find something to fit in there my dear, only, don't try order the big red one in the picture on page three, it will probably fit, but it's better kept for it's proper use as a fire extinguisher! You are the second lady (I use the term loosely) to mistakenly assume that I have a partner called Ken, the last Ken I had in my bedroom was Barbies boyfriend." Dear Deidre I'm so glad u mentioned the fire extinguisher I just bought one and it fits perfect last me for a while I'm not sure about having that dildo up my ass though I'm thinking its going to hurt especially when I'm allergic to lube has for ken I'm sure that was his name remember we used him has my vibrater think it was head first we used him or was it the other way round anyway got me squirting | |||
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"dear deidre ive just swapped mrs tampon for party popper,can you give me advice of where i could possibly hide? Deidre says.... To quote many a bad guy from the movies "You can run, but you cant hide"... probably cos you are shit at hide'n'seek. I hope she sees the funny side, or else the next time she gives you a blow job.... well, I think you get the idea! "dear deidre thanks for your advice but now find i no longer need to hide,has im inher good books again,i have saved her a small fortune,she no longer needs to buy razors to shave down there,and she says the scarring is healing nicely. | |||
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"This is just so funny.
Deidre says...
Shame on you for taking delight at others misfortunes madam!
It's ladies like you who need a bit of a spanking to show them that not everything in the garden is rosy, and I know just the guy to administer it! "Yes I know I'm a terrible person I'll except my punishment and I also do community service To show how sorry I am | |||
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"Dear Deidre... You're just like the NHS...just got to wait for appointments. I've taken a more manly approach like you said and it's got me in hot water again. Her indoors asked me to get my foreskin cut off! What the fuck for I said? She said "I like to look at a nice big knob" So I put a picture of her dad on the mantlepiece and told she can see a big knob all day now...! And yes I'm back in AE down hospital again What am I to do? Yours Cuck PS do you do private consultations" Deidre says... Sometimes discretion is the better part of valour... its better to keep quiet, and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt lol! Perhaps if you are determined to keep annoying your wife, now is the time to take out private medical insurance? | |||
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"Dedrie bach, for fucks sakes stop giving advice to passmeatissue, as well as you know I work in a & e and i'm fed up with seeing him baterd and bruised every wkend poor twat. Dr cockinpuss " Deidre says... He's his own worst enemy, letting his wife rule the roost for so long, now he reaps what he sows. Bless you for providing him with aid in his hour of need, I feel he will be calling on your services for some time to come! | |||
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"Dedrie bach, for fucks sakes stop giving advice to passmeatissue, as well as you know I work in a & e and i'm fed up with seeing him baterd and bruised every wkend poor twat. Dr cockinpuss Deidre says... He's his own worst enemy, letting his wife rule the roost for so long, now he reaps what he sows. Bless you for providing him with aid in his hour of need, I feel he will be calling on your services for some time to come! "Dear Deidre Don't be misled by this nhs Angel...every time he's given me treatment...he pulls the curtains and touches me inappropriately....I'm beginning to think ....him, you and her indoors are in some sort of clique to abuse me mentally and physically.....where's my medication | |||
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"Dedrie bach, for fucks sakes stop giving advice to passmeatissue, as well as you know I work in a & e and i'm fed up with seeing him baterd and bruised every wkend poor twat. Dr cockinpuss Deidre says... He's his own worst enemy, letting his wife rule the roost for so long, now he reaps what he sows. Bless you for providing him with aid in his hour of need, I feel he will be calling on your services for some time to come!
Dear Deidre
Don't be misled by this nhs Angel...every time he's given me treatment...he pulls the curtains and touches me inappropriately....I'm beginning to think ....him, you and her indoors are in some sort of clique to abuse me mentally and physically.....where's my medication"pmsl you definitely need medication | |||
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"Dear Deirdre, I want to get breast implants. Do you think a GG cup is big enough for me. I already have problems with my back, but want to attract all sorts of strange men." put squeaky toys in them,us men are easily entertained | |||
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"Dear Deirdre, I want to get breast implants. Do you think a GG cup is big enough for me. I already have problems with my back, but want to attract all sorts of strange men. put squeaky toys in them,us men are easily entertained" Us men, Deirdre? Is there something you're not telling us? | |||
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"Dear Deirdre, I want to get breast implants. Do you think a GG cup is big enough for me. I already have problems with my back, but want to attract all sorts of strange men. put squeaky toys in them,us men are easily entertained Us men, Deirdre? Is there something you're not telling us?" was nt deidre who replied,i just couldnt resist sorry | |||
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"Dear Deidre.....it's been a while since we chatted. How are you, (grumpy bitch). Mental note..not to type what I think. Problem is her indoors seems to think she can come off her HRT treatment. You know I'll support her in anything in life she wants to challenge. Problem is she's got a beard like Noel Fucking Edmonds now as her hormones are upside down. Doggy is not a problem, but missionary is pretty frightening. Should I slip the HRT into her cocoa at night or buy her one of those NO NO thingamajig. Please help as I'm now on 4 Viagra to perform missionary and it's telling on my blood pressure Yours in anticipation Man of the house" Deidre says... I think the options depend on your budget, however if you are buying Viagra in bulk then the cheaper (bloody skinflint!) option of two paper bags, one for her, and one for you in case hers falls off, should be discarded. Treat her to a top of the range male grooming kit,, and throw in some veet too, and soon she'll be back to her smooth best. | |||
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"Deidre says... I think standard etiquette applies, for example you would take it as read that male guests would say a polite thank you after enjoying your female partner... and wouldn't wipe their cock in the curtains, that sort of thing. As to giving gifts to attendees..... are you bloody mad man? They are getting their dicks wet, and you want to gild the lily by rewarding them too? Whilst I certainly don't advocate them paying for "services rendered", I do think if anyone should be giving gifts, perhaps a bottle of nice plonk, or a box of chocs, it should be them! However, your point about having a bouncer on the door is perhaps more sensible, if only to satisfy 'elf n safety about controlling the number of people in a room, you know, with one of those clicker counter things like at nightclubs etc... wouldn't want some guy with a clipboard and a hi viz coming along and breaking up the party just because you have too many people per square foot in the room." Thank you, Deidre You seem to speak from experience. I can't wait to read your autobiography when it's published, no doubt turned into a full length film. Any idea who you would like to see play the part of you as an adventurous young lady, getting into and out of all kinds of sexual exploits? Then, projecting the film into the far distant future, will it be Dame Maggie, Dame Helen or Dame Judi who get the opportunity to play you in senior years? I can't wait to find out more about our mysterious siren in our midst. | |||
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"Deidre says... I think standard etiquette applies, for example you would take it as read that male guests would say a polite thank you after enjoying your female partner... and wouldn't wipe their cock in the curtains, that sort of thing. As to giving gifts to attendees..... are you bloody mad man? They are getting their dicks wet, and you want to gild the lily by rewarding them too? Whilst I certainly don't advocate them paying for "services rendered", I do think if anyone should be giving gifts, perhaps a bottle of nice plonk, or a box of chocs, it should be them! However, your point about having a bouncer on the door is perhaps more sensible, if only to satisfy 'elf n safety about controlling the number of people in a room, you know, with one of those clicker counter things like at nightclubs etc... wouldn't want some guy with a clipboard and a hi viz coming along and breaking up the party just because you have too many people per square foot in the room. Thank you, Deidre You seem to speak from experience. I can't wait to read your autobiography when it's published, no doubt turned into a full length film. Any idea who you would like to see play the part of you as an adventurous young lady, getting into and out of all kinds of sexual exploits? Then, projecting the film into the far distant future, will it be Dame Maggie, Dame Helen or Dame Judi who get the opportunity to play you in senior years? I can't wait to find out more about our mysterious siren in our midst. "Deidre says... Well, I have always thought there is a bit of Keira Knightly about me, and for my later years I think Maggie would be the best fit lol | |||
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"Im sexing a new lady but she stops me as she says it makes her want to pee and hurts im average sized what could solve this" Deidre says... Well, she could give her lady parts a diet of yoghurt for a while, and drink cranberry juice... or you could try the local GUM clinic. Just a thought, do you give her enough time to take her tights off? | |||
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"Dear Deidre I would very much like to invest in a proper 'Lady' toy for the Misses...the rambant rabbits have long gone (ish), they went all limp & a funny colour... Been looking at those posh sit on Sybian Fucky Fucky jobbies...Very pricey though and there's no overtime going... Please help as she's doing me head in and sick of buying new electric toothbrushes all the time, & i got the Dentist soon like... Ta x "Deidre says... Your good lady sounds like a bit of a demanding type, I would up your game... get her something more "industrial", I see a few Kango industrial roadbreakers going cheap on Ebay, that will hit the spot! | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I keep getting mistaken for a trampoline... any suggestions on how to prevent future mix ups " Do we have to wear special socks to have a go??  | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I keep getting mistaken for a trampoline... any suggestions on how to prevent future mix ups Do we have to wear special socks to have a go?? "Oh you'd be an exception to any rule lol xx | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I keep getting mistaken for a trampoline... any suggestions on how to prevent future mix ups Do we have to wear special socks to have a go??
Oh you'd be an exception to any rule lol xx"I know how you feel but on a positive note, it has it's ups and downs..... I'll go back to TV | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I keep getting mistaken for a trampoline... any suggestions on how to prevent future mix ups Do we have to wear special socks to have a go??
Oh you'd be an exception to any rule lol xx
I know how you feel but on a positive note, it has it's ups and downs.....
I'll go back to TV"It can put a spring in your step too, not all bad | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I keep getting mistaken for a trampoline... any suggestions on how to prevent future mix ups " Deidre says ... I blame modern fashion my dear... stop wearing that hat that looks like a big net, that should cut down on the confusion! | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I went to see Dr Will Seeyounow last week and he diagnosed a case of Gorseinon. After taking the Caerphilly he gave me I have come out all Aberystwyth and Rhyl. Along with my case of Talgarth and Penarth I'm feeling like I come from Llanelli. My question is should I paint my front door red or green ? " Deidre says... It sounds like you have a bad case of the Beatles (Magical Mystery tour), I hope you are getting Nectar points for all the fuel used. And black, the front door should be black, or, if you are feeling a little frivolous, white. | |||
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"Dear Deidre, I went to see Dr Will Seeyounow last week and he diagnosed a case of Gorseinon. After taking the Caerphilly he gave me I have come out all Aberystwyth and Rhyl. Along with my case of Talgarth and Penarth I'm feeling like I come from Llanelli. My question is should I paint my front door red or green ? Deidre says... It sounds like you have a bad case of the Beatles (Magical Mystery tour), I hope you are getting Nectar points for all the fuel used. And black, the front door should be black, or, if you are feeling a little frivolous, white." Thank you for your excellent advice. I am now going to lie down in a darkened Haverfordwest and clear my mind of all that Abergavenny... | |||
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"Dear Dierdre, It's time of the month when I get sweaty palms, Im irritable, sear at people for no reason and eat chocolate for comfort food. Im so stressed I've started to clam my nerves with skittles (are they addictive) What can I do to overcome my fear of attending a social. Don't get me wrong there are some amazing, sexy people who requent the establishment but I have a fear of getting aroused in an environment with sexually liberated people. Is there something wrong with me and am I a pervert? If so will reducing my skittle content help Please help" Dear "sweaty and multiculoured".. I wouldn't worry sweetie, lots of people get nervous about going to socials, but there is nothing to worry about. As for getting aroused, you can use it to your advantage and hire yourself out as a hatstand. | |||
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"Dear Deirdre... In my latest adventure I got caught off guard and started having sex however I was dying for a piss and ended up pissing inside her just after blowing my load... She wants to meet again... Do I tell her what happened or let her think I'm a heavy cummer?? " Dear "leaky pipe".. I think she probably knows, after all, I bet you made her sleep in the (huge) wet patch, didn't you, you tinker? I think you should just take her in the bath, and give her a shower, I'm sure she'll love it. | |||
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