FabSwingers.com forum: breaking up

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up"

I've quite recently came out of a relationship where my fiancé cheated on me. Best advice I can give, is to get over someone, get under someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best advice would be to keep busy,go and see friends,family etc, exercise ,take up a hobby or go on a nice holiday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up

I've quite recently came out of a relationship where my fiancé cheated on me. Best advice I can give, is to get over someone, get under someone else."

That can be a temporary solution, but not really foe the long term

My marriage ended over 2 years ago. I survived. It isn't easy. But I cope. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up

I've quite recently came out of a relationship where my fiancé cheated on me. Best advice I can give, is to get over someone, get under someone else.

That can be a temporary solution, but not really foe the long term

My marriage ended over 2 years ago. I survived. It isn't easy. But I cope. Good luck

You're probably right there, but it has helped me get past the worst bit. I think the key is just to have fun and realise what isn't meant to be, isn't meant to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not easy at all try not to let it become an acrimoious seperation/divorce, especially if there are children involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not easy at all try not to let it become an acrimoious seperation/divorce, especially if there are children involved."

Extremely wise words. The children should always be the priority regardless of the adults' differences

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By *ojomojo79Woman
over a year ago

Swansea ish

It's really hard when the person you really adore says they don't love you anymore. The hardest thing ever. It's rough it hurts but it does get easier x I have been separated nearly 3 years and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My marriage ended just over 2 years ago after countless episodes of him falling in 'love' with other women on here & I was surprised that from day one I've not had a moment of upset or regret, that tells me it was the right thing to do. I often want to thank those women for helping me to make the best change in my life. Keep on living & enjoy life in whatever way makes it easier for you to move on, you'll know what's best for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a good network of friends around you. Mine was 3 years ago after 22 years together. No-one can prepare you for this hun. Loads of good advice here. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been there so no advice but sorry to hear that and hope you're okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vodka, Abba, and lots of crying.

Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and think onwards and upwards x

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By *etlinkMan
over a year ago

cardiff

Got my heart broken into pieces one too many times and it's tough, really tough.

I know that all the advices in the world won't make much difference in this situation. Just know who your friends are and when you feel it is right to get out there and seek company, they will be there for you

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By *astmeetswest77Couple
over a year ago

monmouth

It's a shit situation

Everybody has their own coping mechanism. Mine was to take copious amounts of drugs of all descriptions. Which doesn't work incidentally.

Get out there and enjoy yourself. Your new life is before you. May be hard to realise now but you'll get over it and look back and think "what was I so scared of. Life's great"

I would say join a swinging site but there's not much point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up"

Haven't had a marriage break up as I never got that far.

Take time to discover who you are again as your identity tends to be hidden away when in a relationship for a long time. Don't go rushing into anything I learnt that mistake as well. Oh and endless meets on fab don't work either. Sex makes you feel good at the time but like drugs the come down is shitty.

Good luck xxx

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By *urpinMan
over a year ago

Cwmbran/Swansea

I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around."

Very well said sir

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around."

Too true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up

Haven't had a marriage break up as I never got that far.

Good luck xxx"

I got divorced 12 years ago. And what the gent says here is so true. I lost me and needed to find me again. I had lots of fun along the way. In the form of fb's l had my family and a good network of friends. Head up girly stay strong....and good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All good advice. ....

Its true endless fab meets might only help short term.....I did that in April when I had a break up.....and ended up feeling worse.

Fresh air and friends were the best thing for me to get over him.....and time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around."

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

the break up post was posted by rob. not nikki

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around."

So true X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found it helped when I eventually realised it wasn't my ex I was missing - I just missed having someone around - and there's a lot of nice people out there who are much nicer to have around."

this is true

it's tough but there is a healing process that takes everyone different lengths of time

I've split 7yrs ago and took me 4 yrs to get over it

But I'm finally there

Good luck and stay strong xxxxx

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

Not been married but not long come out of a relationship. Id say focus on the good things in your life and look at the positives, spend time with friends/family and keep occupied, sitting and dwelling on what ifs doesnt make it any better.

Time will help and everyone copes in different ways. So what works for one person wont necessarily work for you. Keep strong and keep smiling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vodka, Abba, and lots of crying.

Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and think onwards and upwards x"

Why have you blocked me??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A marriage break up is never easy on either person

But take some of the advise off here

You have friends and who care about you

Just see this as a new chapter in your life

New season fresh start

I'm not going to lie and say it will be ok tomorrow or next week but if you have been hurt by it it gets easier and you realise your better off without them

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

don't have to be married for it to hurt just as bad.. especially if there are kids who you also love as your own, and family you are attached to. Happened to me and the world was pulled from under me. lost not just her, but kids n family, all gone overnight. Not my kid so no rights of access and I wont see him grow up. I started seeing her when she was vulnerable on the rebound of divorce. That took a long time to recover from, and I agree with what others have said, and also you will still love that person probably for ever, it doesn't really go away, but once ties are cut, try to find yourself again, in time you will feel happier, and only then can you start to attract someone else who will hopefully be better for you. There is a world beyond that person, never forget that. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

"I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

"
wow, you really are lush!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have faith! You may not want to do this, but it is essential to keep going, try out new experiences and just live your life as normal.

Put yourself out there, you will meet a whole new circle of friends. You will probably have a few failed short term relationships as you recover.

All the time you will be recovering and will hopefully meet the lady of your dreams and wonder why on earth you did not break up with your Ex earlier.

You may not believe it right now, but it does happen, I am living proof!

Have faith it will happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

wow, you really are lush!"

Lol no I'm a mug

I not only take the kids to him but I don't even ask for petrol Money and I stay up there with family to have them in day if he's working nights

Back to the previous comments about kids

Regardless of whether your related by blood or not it's not fair to stop someone seeing the child/children if they have been in their life for a long period

That's just punishing the partner and the kids

It's sad that some people use kids as a weapon to hurt others

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

"I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

wow, you really are lush!

Lol no I'm a mug

I not only take the kids to him but I don't even ask for petrol Money and I stay up there with family to have them in day if he's working nights

Back to the previous comments about kids

Regardless of whether your related by blood or not it's not fair to stop someone seeing the child/children if they have been in their life for a long period

That's just punishing the partner and the kids

It's sad that some people use kids as a weapon to hurt others "
in my case she didn't do it intentionally to get at me. She did kinda offer to stay friends, but it was my choice to have to be harsh and cut the ties for my own sake as it would have destroyed me, and prevented me from moving on in life. it was the toughest time of my life, but had to go through it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww big hugs

That must have been a really hard decision to make

But you did what was right probably for everyone involved in the long run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for ideas of how to cope with a maridge break up"

I found that jumping into my music helped. I joined a gym. Cut out certain foods. lost 3 half stone! and started making new freinds.

Joined a dating site. Pof!! God it was bad!! Lol

But I didn't stress about it. I found I'm enjoying being single. But it can be stressful. Just after a break up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in, what I thought was a happy relationship for 12 and half years until one day, out of the blue, she left for no real reason.

The first few weeks were very hard and you can't really keep your mind off things no matter how hard you try.

Just surround yourself with friends and family, talk about your feelings and don't bottle anything up.

It still hurts but I feel a lot better now and it's made me realise how much I lived for someone else. Now I'm going to live for myself and enjoy life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of posts here

Tells you that you do get over it

Or learn to live with the hurt

And such lovely messages of support from everyone

Good advice all round x

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

"Aww big hugs

That must have been a really hard decision to make

But you did what was right probably for everyone involved in the long run "
yup!

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

It can seem very hard, but it can help to try and focus on the bad things, although at first you might not see them. Try and be positive and start to put yourself first..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

wow, you really are lush!

Lol no I'm a mug

I not only take the kids to him but I don't even ask for petrol Money and I stay up there with family to have them in day if he's working nights

Back to the previous comments about kids

Regardless of whether your related by blood or not it's not fair to stop someone seeing the child/children if they have been in their life for a long period

That's just punishing the partner and the kids

It's sad that some people use kids as a weapon to hurt others in my case she didn't do it intentionally to get at me. She did kinda offer to stay friends, but it was my choice to have to be harsh and cut the ties for my own sake as it would have destroyed me, and prevented me from moving on in life. it was the toughest time of my life, but had to go through it. "

Just a thought, but couldn't you put the children's feelings first, above your own? Too difficult?

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

"I don't love my ex hubby but I stay in touch due to the kids

I live 200 miles away from him but I take the kids to him half terms and summer holidays

And I let him stay at my house so he can see them whenever he wants

I was the one who ended it

But it got to the point that there was nothing left to try and save

Who knows if you only just broke up maybe you can talk and sort it out

wow, you really are lush!

Lol no I'm a mug

I not only take the kids to him but I don't even ask for petrol Money and I stay up there with family to have them in day if he's working nights

Back to the previous comments about kids

Regardless of whether your related by blood or not it's not fair to stop someone seeing the child/children if they have been in their life for a long period

That's just punishing the partner and the kids

Just a thought, but couldn't you put the children's feelings first, above your own? Too difficult? "
he has Aspergers so didn't affect him in the usual way. If you have been in that situation, its very hard to know what to do for the best.. If I had stuck around, I'd have been pushed out had she met another guy. There comes a point sooner or later when you have to draw a line and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a totally valid point

Personally I wouldn't have explained myself to anyone on here

I had a feeling it was going be because of not about not being able to stay in contact once the mum met someone else

Or depending on how things were when you parted if you met someone else she might have stopped you seeing the child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not easy at all try not to let it become an acrimoious seperation/divorce, especially if there are children involved."

Agree with the above. Try not to be bitter. Its tough, but you can walk with your head held high. Things just get better with time, having good friends around you will help immensely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Times like this when you find out who your real mates are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's a totally valid point

Personally I wouldn't have explained myself to anyone on here

I had a feeling it was going be because of not about not being able to stay in contact once the mum met someone else

Or depending on how things were when you parted if you met someone else she might have stopped you seeing the child "

So no adults with a child centered view, how sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah that's true

Sorry I forgot peachy knows best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah that's true

Sorry I forgot peachy knows best

Awh that's so nice of you to say you just know that made my day

but I'd say you're mistaken because I know you know best

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By *unnynbugsCouple
over a year ago

Neath

I was the person to leave my Marriage. Not because of another person but because of the control and manipulation that was shown to me on a regular basis. The breakup has been hard but we are now good friends for the sake of the children. For me the breakup was a breath of fresh air and a sign that I was finally getting control of my life back.

Hope the OP manages to get some support from friends and family over this dificult time

Bunny (M)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres no real answer i found i needed to be kept busy takes your mind off things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was the person to leave my Marriage. Not because of another person but because of the control and manipulation that was shown to me on a regular basis. The breakup has been hard but we are now good friends for the sake of the children. For me the breakup was a breath of fresh air and a sign that I was finally getting control of my life back.

Hope the OP manages to get some support from friends and family over this dificult time

Bunny (M)"

well done for taking back control of your life x

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By *unnynbugsCouple
over a year ago

Neath

Thanks it took alot of thinking and spoke to many of my friends and family before I made the leap. To this day my ex can't see what she did wrong. But control freaks never see what they do as wrong.

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