FabSwingers.com forum: stalker

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

how do you get rid of one? my first meet was with a man who was a top gent during the meet we met a second time for a chat and a coffee at this second meet he talked at length about fakers on here and warned me about all the tricks they use such as making up male and female profiles and verifying them from each other, since he went back to London he started texting my phone sayi9ng he had feelings for me, all the while talking to me on here on a diff id he mentioned something on the phone text that he slipped up and repeated from that id on here so was caught out I reported both original and fake id, since then ive been plagued by ids using the same way of texting similar ways of talking, I have blocked my profile from newbies and unverified but some of these ids he has date back to 2014 and of course hes self verified them from his countless other ids I changed my name thinking he must be using a username search to find me and message me I was a full 24 hrs without a text off him but tonight he text me as a 28 yr old male from London sent me a gorgeus face pic but because his text was stunted and he was using very few words I was suspicious I traced that face pic back to a news article in the montreal gazette, I know this is the same man as previous when I informed him I knew the pic was fake he told me I talk too much, im waiting on the abusive texts that usually follow when he gets caught out he was originally on my facebook for use of messenger to chat big big mistake as hes threatened to inform my son that his mother is a slut, hes used my kids names a few times in random texts another way ive caught him out ive blocked him on fb on every id ive found him on in here how do I stop it altogether as im on the verge of deleting my account????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely its time you went to the police after all he's put you through???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

and where do I start? I only know him by his profiles ive only his word he lives in London,then ive got police coming out to the house and questioning me while my kids are present?? i don't have anyone i can send them to while i speak to the police and neighbours will wonder what the police want whispers will start then and probably because i have a teenage son they'll think hes in trouble i cant face that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about people gossiping, you could be at danger to somebody like him and so could your kids.

I'd put your feelings for how others may talk and get this sorted with the police.

Can you not go during the day when kids at school?

What an awful situation for you, hope you get it sorted.

An injunction is what you need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

how would i go about it? i cant go in the station and say im being plagued by a fella online called bigcock 69 (not one of his ids btw i wont name any of them on the forum) hes also baggyballs 123, hes from London but i met him in Pembrokeshire?? they would laugh it out of the station and advise me not to use the site,,i don't have enough info on him to go there, also all the ids ive currently reported are no longer on the site they've either been deleted or hes removed them himself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No they won't laugh it out honestly

they'll take very seriously

Just tell them your on this site you have children and want discretion x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call 101 and speak with the police, you won't have to attend a station that way and a report can be filled and they'll advise you of the next steps to take.

They have a duty of care and have to also protect your chikdren.

Do you have messages etc saved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/06/16 02:01:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the advice you have been given, if you are alleging that he is “stalking” causing distress and harassment and if you’re that afraid of the threats or repercussions you say he is alleging then you need to do something about it and protect your family, stop making excuses and make a formal complaint.

Leave the police to do their work, they have enough resources to find out who the person is.

Do not EVER mix the lifestyle and family life with shitbook it will become a conflict of interest.

All you can do on Fab is report any profiles with supporting evidence to admin, block or make a new account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i first joined i had the same problem. But he found out where i lived and used to sit outside my house telling me what i was watching on tv.

I had no choice but to protect my family and i reported it to the police. They caught him outside my house and i have never had any problem since. Your children and your safety are paramount here. Ring the police!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the same problem & he continues to pop up now n again after 6 years but I just consistently ignore him, delete his messages unread. I can tell from the phrasing it's him on a new profile each time. I've heard so many bad stories on here that I'd never give a guy my Facebook, real name or real phone number, even Ch3wy doesn't have my Facebook, that's a family thing & this doesn't mix with real life. My family have met him but I wouldn't want him to know the ins n outs of my life, yet. When you're on Good terms with someone it's almost impossible to predict how things might be if you fall out, best to err on the side of caution I reckon X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please go to the police. They won't judge you for being on here. They have his phone number and can do wonders with computers and IP address that can be traced too. If you met for coffee in a public place then there may be cctv/card details too. Hopefully some details from his Facebook profile too.

You do not deserve this regardless of how you met him. He has way overstepped the line. Sounds like you have done everything you can to stop it yourself but if he still isn't getting the hint then time to escalate it. He's probably aware you don't want to for the reasons you said which is why he will keep doing it.

Hope it all turns out ok xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this a few years ago.

I actually built up the courage to ring the police as he was sending people to my house for sex.

The police where really nice about it and said there was a rise in this sort of thing.

All I had was a rough area of where he lived,a username and a face picture.

You need to stand up to these people.

Good luck with what you decided to do but for your own sanity go to the police.

It also turned out he had a girlfriend and a baby which I knew nothing about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how would i go about it? i cant go in the station and say im being plagued by a fella online called bigcock 69 (not one of his ids btw i wont name any of them on the forum) hes also baggyballs 123, hes from London but i met him in Pembrokeshire?? they would laugh it out of the station and advise me not to use the site,,i don't have enough info on him to go there, also all the ids ive currently reported are no longer on the site they've either been deleted or hes removed them himself"

The laws on stalking have changed recently, from reading what you have stated, if I was in your position, my advice to you, would be to ring 101 and speak to an operator and explain the situation to them....please don't suffer in silence....x

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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

As other forum users have said, contact the police. There are people from all walks of life on here and I wouldn't mind guessing that there may be some police personnel on here too. I'm sure they would also advise you to report it to the authorities....

Hope you get things sorted x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to the Police. They've seen it all, heard it all so don't worry about it, just do it.

And this is why I no longer meet (apart from the recent social). I had this on another site. It turns out said bloke is on here too. I'm wondering if it's the same man who is bothering you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to the Police. They've seen it all, heard it all so don't worry about it, just do it.

And this is why I no longer meet (apart from the recent social). I had this on another site. It turns out said bloke is on here too. I'm wondering if it's the same man who is bothering you

Seriously go to the Police, they can and should help you. Tell them you are on the site and have the need for discretion because of your children.

Dont be fobbed off by them, they may turn around and tell you they cannot help you. Where in fact they have to Under The Harassment Act .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst there is no strict legal definition of 'stalking', section 2A (3) of the PHA 1997 sets out examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking. For example, following a person, watching or spying on them or forcing contact with the victim through any means, including social media.

The effect of such behaviour is to curtail a victim's freedom, leaving them feeling that they constantly have to be careful. In many cases, the conduct might appear innocent ( if it were to be taken in isolation), but when carried out repeatedly so as to amount to a course of conduct, it may then cause significant alarm, harassment or distress to the victim.

Prosecutors should note that the examples given in section 2A (3) is not an exhaustive list but an indication of the types of behaviour that may be displayed in a stalking offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did try to message you but you blocked all females. message the site owners give them details also go to the police. its not against the law to swing we have a few on here lol, they can get details off the site with a warrant xx

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By *itherofusCouple
over a year ago

swansea

We have all heard some horror stories similar to yours... One of my meets contacted my husband after I refused to keep meeting him...luckily my husband already knew about the meet so nothing come of it...however I fully understand....you cannot suffer in silence...101...ring and chat to them...you decide then how you proceed....good luck...post how it turns out...thinking of you......x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Take the advice you have been given, if you are alleging that he is “stalking” causing distress and harassment and if you’re that afraid of the threats or repercussions you say he is alleging then you need to do something about it and protect your family, stop making excuses and make a formal complaint.

Leave the police to do their work, they have enough resources to find out who the person is.

Do not EVER mix the lifestyle and family life with shitbook it will become a conflict of interest.

All you can do on Fab is report any profiles with supporting evidence to admin, block or make a new account.

I honestly don't think he has the balls to carry out his threats its just a nuisance having to block/report on a daily basis, as for the messages all the ones that auto save on here I have if they don't go once the user leaves the site, plus ive screenshots of messages sent elsewhere but not all, I am not making excuses at all just i rang police when it started happening and asked them what if it was happening i never let on it was and was told to avoid using the site as theres plenty of other sites i could use, (i told them it was a social network site not a swinging site)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to the Police. They've seen it all, heard it all so don't worry about it, just do it.

And this is why I no longer meet (apart from the recent social). I had this on another site. It turns out said bloke is on here too. I'm wondering if it's the same man who is bothering you

"
the man whose bothering me is in his late 50s though puts any age on his profiles depending on who he wants to be

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"did try to message you but you blocked all females. message the site owners give them details also go to the police. its not against the law to swing we have a few on here lol, they can get details off the site with a warrant xx"

thanks i think i will ring 101 and find out where i stand

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

Don't make him bully you off being on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to the Police. They've seen it all, heard it all so don't worry about it, just do it.

And this is why I no longer meet (apart from the recent social). I had this on another site. It turns out said bloke is on here too. I'm wondering if it's the same man who is bothering you

the man whose bothering me is in his late 50s though puts any age on his profiles depending on who he wants to be"

Ah ok, not the same one. hope you get it sorted x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't make him bully you off being on here"

ill probably reinvent meself as miss titles r something to throw him offscent lol nah wont be leaving buty may have to make a new profile, taken pic dwn and altered my name a bit hopefully that will work or make me harder to find I dunno

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By *ndyandMandyCouple
over a year ago

swansea

As a former police Officer I to would advise you to go to the Police. Ask to speak to a female officer. Do not be fobbed off by a PCSO ask for a Police Officer.

Good Luck

Andy x

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

"Don't make him bully you off being on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a former police Officer I to would advise you to go to the Police. Ask to speak to a female officer. Do not be fobbed off by a PCSO ask for a Police Officer.

Good Luck

Andy x"

Thanx will do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a former police Officer I to would advise you to go to the Police. Ask to speak to a female officer. Do not be fobbed off by a PCSO ask for a Police Officer.

Good Luck

Andy x

Thanx will do"
delete your account & get a new phone

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By *lue BelleWoman
over a year ago

Caernarfon. North Wales

Go to the police. Anything you say will be in confidence and they do take these things seriously. I know from experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to all who participated in this post, I think I knew all along what has to be done just felt embarrassed to go ahead with it, seeing as its basically everyones advice I will be ringing 101 , also I have googled the profile name he was using on here with his actual real photo on and turns out he has many accounts including a flickr account using that same username with photos of him on it im not a member of flickr but im sure if that info was handed over the police would be able to trace him ive also managed through that simple google search to get a real name (or a real name that hes using wether it be his or not I don't know) so im feeling a bit more confident now thanks all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't hesitate in acting on this. If this man had bad intentions from the start he may have said he was London based to make you feel safe. He could be local. Phone the police get a crime number and chase them up regularly to find out what progress they have made. This man needs to be stopped ASAP. Good luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Please don't hesitate in acting on this. If this man had bad intentions from the start he may have said he was London based to make you feel safe. He could be local. Phone the police get a crime number and chase them up regularly to find out what progress they have made. This man needs to be stopped ASAP. Good luck. X"
hes got an accent though not a London one but its definitely not welsh, mind you he could be new to the area or something, wel lthey will sort it out im sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please don't hesitate in acting on this. If this man had bad intentions from the start he may have said he was London based to make you feel safe. He could be local. Phone the police get a crime number and chase them up regularly to find out what progress they have made. This man needs to be stopped ASAP. Good luck. X hes got an accent though not a London one but its definitely not welsh, mind you he could be new to the area or something, wel lthey will sort it out im sure"

If you managed to find out some stuff on him on the Internet then the police should be able to as well. He is probably just a pathetic human being but don't take that risk. You shouldn't have to change. Get him dealt with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't wait contact the police, your phone operator can block any calls or texts from him. Just wring them and tell them you are being harassed by this guy and they will put a block on him.

You could also ask your phone company for another number, pain I know letting everyone know your new number but it does stop him.

Similarly you could create a new profile on here and delete the old one. Once again you could notify those you want to about the new one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent advise off everyone on here, and please act on it, even if he was to leave you alone from not being able to contact you, he may start on another female and if it got a lot worse you would never forgive yourself.

Just a suggestion, you mentioned Facebook and that he has threatened to tell your kids, I'm not sure how old your kids are, but is it possible to access thier accounts and block this individual from messaging them or even seeing thier profiles?

It may be a good idea to also have a check of yours that it is not public, friends can't be seen etc.

Good luck, hope you get it sorted x

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