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Sex, oral, condoms and safety

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By *olphinmoon OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff & Edinburgh

I have been writing this post in my mind for well over a month. The one thing about swinging that freaks me out is the chance of contracting an STD (or STI as some places are trying to convert the terminology.) It’s nice in a marriage to know that you and your partner are disease free and will stay that way as long as neither of you have an extra-marital affair. Once you start inviting people into your bed, you are putting yourself at risk. When we started looking into swinging we did a lot of research on STDs and transmission risks.

From talking to other swingers and reading on message boards, it seems the vast majority use no protection for oral sex, though many do seem to use condoms for vaginal or anal sex. There is of course the group that always ride bareback.

I understand that a lot of it comes down to trusting your partner and that they are clean. It is important for people in this lifestyle to get tested for STDs frequently, unfortunately not all do. People also forget that some of these infections have an incubation period of up to 6 months. Which means you can be exposed, test negative, but still pass the infection on unknowingly.

So you have chosen a single or couple to play with and feel they are relatively low risk for carrying an infection based on the talk you have. Now were do you go with the safer sex practices? Of course sex is more fun and feels better without barriers, that’s how we were made to do it! I get it, condoms suck for (most) guys. Some can’t stay hard with one on, others can’t cum, and some rare ones actually like them because they are able to last longer. I can also imagine it’s no picnic to go down on a girl with her pussy covered in saran wrap. And lets face it, most of us enjoy tasting each others sexual fluids. Giving a BJ with a condom on is not quite as fun for either person and the lubes taste nasty. There are flavored condoms that aren’t too bad, but the flavoring comes off quickly and you are left sucking on flavorless latex…kinda like having a balloon in your mouth.

Now where am I going with all of this, well I would much rather give a BJ without a barrier. I also love the feel of bareback sex, sometimes a condom can be too distracting for me. I love cum – let me repeat that- I LOVE cum. I love tasting precum while I’m give a blow-job, it is a signal to me that I’m doing something right. I also love the taste of cum, most of the time at least….remember guys you are what you eat and steak and beer makes your cum taste awful! On a side note, if you want to make sure it tastes really good, eat pineapple. I am also a big fan of cream-pies. I love the feel of a cock throbbing in me and the warm feeling of his cum filling me. I also enjoy feeling it leak out. If this was a perfect world and STDs didn’t exist…Hell Ya Bareback all the way! But that is not the case and we need to figure out where we stand.

By looking at the chart we are exposed to pretty much the same stuff giving oral sex to a man as I am having vaginal intercourse unprotected. I really don’t want to use condoms for oral. In my mind I keep thinking, “well, if you don’t use condoms for oral just take him bare in your pussy too.” I’m just so confused. I’m not sure what our play rules should be.

So what is a girl (or guy) to do? What are your thoughts on this? What are your safer sex rules?

And more importantly how often should we all get tested? We go every 4-6 months is this over the top of too little.

Thoughts please even though I know it's a very personal subject.

Lots of love

Mrs Dolphinmoon

Xxxx

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

It's down to you what choices you make. Nobody can really give a guide. Meet some nice people, make some good friends. it is a risk but then so is smoking, drinking and crossing the road. It's your choice.

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By *uby and RavenCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Love cum play, but not with one off meets. In an established "friendship", then it's something we would consider for sure.

But the general rule of thumb for us is condoms for sex. Oral without. Couldn't think of anything worse than oral with a condom blurgh

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

The performa ones are the worst, makes her mouth numb lol and dribbling like a trip to the dentist

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By *olphinmoon OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff & Edinburgh

Thanks both and apologies for the long post, I tend to write essays must be my studying background

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

At least you're well clued up! But too much info can sometimes stop us from doing what we want. Enjoy yourselves (with care)!

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Safest sex is no sex but where is the fun in that!

You take your life in your hands these days just leaving your front door. So enjoy what you choose to do. It's all down to individual choice.

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By *ancubsaMan
over a year ago

Newport

This is one I toy with a lot in my mind! I look at peoples profiles and they say they practice safe sex and then two pics later is an unprotected one which I can tell is not with a long term partner unless it is an old pic.

If people play bareback then I steer clear. It is just adding to the rick and on the news they have mentioned recently that STI's have increased in the Bristol area. This in all honesty is probably the same in all areas.

Oral sex has it's misfortunes but not as many as full intercourse. Crabs for one is the least of peoples worries and pretty much none existent with all the shaven stunners nowadays. Herpes is one that can transfer with oral sex but I believe that HIV can't unless for example traces of blood in the foof and the person has a mouth ulcer (sorry for the graphics). You can get Chlamydia and gonorrhea from oral and there are loads of others. Put clingfilm over the foof and it would be pointless having oral sex.

Then there are toys... especially with the girls sharing, so much can be passed but don't get me wrong, guys can share them too but once again, people think that if you wash them they will be clean, don't bet on it! If it comes to dildos still but a jacket on it.

You can only hope that the person/people you are about to play with test themselves regularly and take as much precaution as possible.

Have fun and stay safe, be honest with other people and give them the choice whether to meet with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use condoms for sex only....every one makes their own personal choice on this. We get tested every 3 months.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

When we started swinging, I researched this too.

There were a number of studies done with large groups, (thousands of individuals) usually in America.

One that made me sit up was done with HIV positive gay guys, and focused on their sexual habits, protection etc after they were diagnosed.

Obviously, if they were in a relationship, or got into a long term relationship after being diagnosed, then most (but not all) used condoms for sex.

The part of the study that was most pertinent was the part that focused on oral sex, how many refrained, how many used protection, and how many didn't use protection etc, and, most importantly, the risks of oral.

From the data, basically they publishers of the report said that there was very little to no risk of passing on any infection, as the mouth is a very hostile environment for viruses etc.

However, they did go to great lengths to point out that the person giving oral should refrain if they have any cuts, grazes, gum problems or very recent dental work etc in the mouth.

The study concluded that the risks of catching anything were less than if you were shaking hands, or cheek kissing.

Given that, in the general population, keyboards, door handles, phones etc are all heavily contaminated with god knows what, we felt the relative risks of performing oral are low enough that we take the risk.

*Disclaimer... the only safe sex, is no sex.!

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By *olphinmoon OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff & Edinburgh


"When we started swinging, I researched this too.

There were a number of studies done with large groups, (thousands of individuals) usually in America.

One that made me sit up was done with HIV positive gay guys, and focused on their sexual habits, protection etc after they were diagnosed.

Obviously, if they were in a relationship, or got into a long term relationship after being diagnosed, then most (but not all) used condoms for sex.

The part of the study that was most pertinent was the part that focused on oral sex, how many refrained, how many used protection, and how many didn't use protection etc, and, most importantly, the risks of oral.

From the data, basically they publishers of the report said that there was very little to no risk of passing on any infection, as the mouth is a very hostile environment for viruses etc.

However, they did go to great lengths to point out that the person giving oral should refrain if they have any cuts, grazes, gum problems or very recent dental work etc in the mouth.

The study concluded that the risks of catching anything were less than if you were shaking hands, or cheek kissing.

Given that, in the general population, keyboards, door handles, phones etc are all heavily contaminated with god knows what, we felt the relative risks of performing oral are low enough that we take the risk.

*Disclaimer... the only safe sex, is no sex.!

"

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

I think we as a couple are definitely doing the right thing, safe sex and lots of oral fun.

Testing every 4-6 months is the norm then too.

Thanks again to everyone above as I know the post was awfully long.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made interesting reading so thanks xxx

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"When we started swinging, I researched this too.

There were a number of studies done with large groups, (thousands of individuals) usually in America.

One that made me sit up was done with HIV positive gay guys, and focused on their sexual habits, protection etc after they were diagnosed.

Obviously, if they were in a relationship, or got into a long term relationship after being diagnosed, then most (but not all) used condoms for sex.

The part of the study that was most pertinent was the part that focused on oral sex, how many refrained, how many used protection, and how many didn't use protection etc, and, most importantly, the risks of oral.

From the data, basically they publishers of the report said that there was very little to no risk of passing on any infection, as the mouth is a very hostile environment for viruses etc.

However, they did go to great lengths to point out that the person giving oral should refrain if they have any cuts, grazes, gum problems or very recent dental work etc in the mouth.

The study concluded that the risks of catching anything were less than if you were shaking hands, or cheek kissing.

Given that, in the general population, keyboards, door handles, phones etc are all heavily contaminated with god knows what, we felt the relative risks of performing oral are low enough that we take the risk.

*Disclaimer... the only safe sex, is no sex.!

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

I think we as a couple are definitely doing the right thing, safe sex and lots of oral fun.

Testing every 4-6 months is the norm then too.

Thanks again to everyone above as I know the post was awfully long.

Xxx"

It's great that people fell free to voice their concerns, opinions and ask their questions on here, we've learned a lot, had our minds changed about different subjects, and had a laugh too, never be afraid to post, remember there are no stupid questions... only stupid answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get tested every 8 weeks & have done for over 6 years, I go even even there's nothing to test for because it's a pattern I like to keep to, Ch3wy doesn't go quite so often. We bareback with each other but it's always safe preventative sex with others, although we do both suck cock unprotected. I think I've read the same article as Mart, plus the Dr at the clinic took time to explain the differing risks to me when I asked. As posted by someone else, toys are often forgotten so we like to use condoms now when using them on others, not something we thought about until recently. I guess we all have to make our own assessment of risk & play accordingly X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an antibotic resistant strain of gonorrhea - first reported in Japan and turned up in the Leeds area about six months ago - three to six cases I think.

Condoms are a must for oral sex - the first reported Japanes case was a prostitute with a persistant sore throat - which was caused by the antibiotic resistant strain of gomorrhea.

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By *ovis69 and green eyesMan
over a year ago

valleys

Oral sex without, everything else with. Tested every 3months without fail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@ OP . . a very good posting and sensible reading for ALL . . even those of you that, like us, enjoy spunk and other bodily secretions. We ALL make a personal decision, on many varied levels, but we must ALL be prepared to acknowledge the consequences.

Still find it a little "conservative" that HIV is seen by far too many as being one reason why to avoid erotic contact with gay and bisexual males?

There are TWO other "high risk" groups which seem to fall under the radar. Drug users of BOTH sexes, where the HIV rate is much higher than gay males, and solo guys who frequent areas of the world for their holidays where "Lady-Boys" are easily available . . though many will still claim they are, of course, straight?

Can't remember the last time we saw any huge discussion in the forums about choosing whether to have sex with ANY that might tick a "yes" to either of our above "high risk groups"? Surprising, isn't it, what can get swept under the carpet.

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By *olphinmoon OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff & Edinburgh


"@ OP . . a very good posting and sensible reading for ALL . . even those of you that, like us, enjoy spunk and other bodily secretions. We ALL make a personal decision, on many varied levels, but we must ALL be prepared to acknowledge the consequences.

Still find it a little "conservative" that HIV is seen by far too many as being one reason why to avoid erotic contact with gay and bisexual males?

There are TWO other "high risk" groups which seem to fall under the radar. Drug users of BOTH sexes, where the HIV rate is much higher than gay males, and solo guys who frequent areas of the world for their holidays where "Lady-Boys" are easily available . . though many will still claim they are, of course, straight?

Can't remember the last time we saw any huge discussion in the forums about choosing whether to have sex with ANY that might tick a "yes" to either of our above "high risk groups"? Surprising, isn't it, what can get swept under the carpet. "

Thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hpv is ttansferred via oral sex and is the cause of quite a lot of cancers in the throat and tongue.

I always play all ways with condoms, if a guy thinks that is a problem, the it is just that...his problem xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been saying for ages

About the risks with oral but got told they are minimal

I'm not saying I make the guy wear a condom

But I tell people that can't slate others for stuff when they don't wrap it up to suck it

It's amazing the amount of people who are lacking in knowledge about what you can catch and how

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fully aware as are many others who choose not to wrap to suck, just like you, but it is a matter of medical fact that the risk is lower than preventative vaginal or anal sex. All sex is risky, even protected sex & kissing, as I've said many, many times we all make our own assessment of risk & we live with any consequences. I'm one of those who caught it in my throat in the early days, I dealt with it correctly & now I choose who I suck, fuck, snog with greater care X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love cum play, but not with one off meets. In an established "friendship", then it's something we would consider for sure.

But the general rule of thumb for us is condoms for sex. Oral without. Couldn't think of anything worse than oral with a condom blurgh "

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE


"I'm fully aware as are many others who choose not to wrap to suck, just like you, but it is a matter of medical fact that the risk is lower than preventative vaginal or anal sex. All sex is risky, even protected sex & kissing, as I've said many, many times we all make our own assessment of risk & we live with any consequences. I'm one of those who caught it in my throat in the early days, I dealt with it correctly & now I choose who I suck, fuck, snog with greater care X"
well said..

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