FabSwingers.com forum: Best and worst opening lines

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ok slightly bored

So just wondering what sort of stuff people get

I just had a message saying cupcakes eaten too many have you ?

Then he said he was joking and didn't mean it in that way

Ha ha ha yeah it was funny mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so many to choose from but the one that sticks in my mind is .....'Did I ever play rugby with you?'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one guy tell me that this is a swinging site not Sky Sports News in relation to some status I'd put up about the rugby.

Righto pal, like I give a fuck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

It's the fancy a fuck ones that get on my nerves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *INKYCAT123Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

Ive had guys begging to buy my knickers,

I had one calling me kirsty, when asked why the fuck kirsty he said he got a fixation on his next door neighbour and I look like her so he wants me to pretend im her!!!

Had many weird freaky messeges off single guys, hence the reason ive blocked single guys unless ive meet them at socials (kat) x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Feck off I've been messaging you all day lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Oi I txt you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive had guys begging to buy my knickers,

I had one calling me kirsty, when asked why the fuck kirsty he said he got a fixation on his next door neighbour and I look like her so he wants me to pretend im her!!!

Had many weird freaky messeges off single guys, hence the reason ive blocked single guys unless ive meet them at socials (kat) x"

I had something similar. was called Kathy in an opening msg and when I questioned it he just said he thought that i Looked like a Kathy. I had no pics at this time lol. Copy and Paste maybe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

thanks,your so understanding

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

thanks,your so understanding

Lol I was waiting for if I can't get a meet Friday are you free ha ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Feck off I've been messaging you all day lol

Ok select few

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Oi I txt you

Only cos u had flashback

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck or Hi messages really gripe my shit....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Feck off I've been messaging you all day lol

Ok select few"

Lol see I'm nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

thanks,your so understanding

It's no probs

If I can't find anyone else fancy a fuck fri lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

thanks,your so understanding

It's no probs

If I can't find anyone else fancy a fuck fri lol

Ha ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a msg- all I get is an empty postbag

Feck off I've been messaging you all day lol

Ok select few

Lol see I'm nice "

Yes u are very nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?"

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hardest is always first msg easy then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow "

think its working

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow

think its working

lol

See it's easy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow

think its working

lol

See it's easy "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow

think its working

lol

See it's easy

Well it helps when you have a friendly person to message I guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent you an intro email Lush Lips, le me know your thoughts?

Ok to be fair that is a very good first message

I got fk all to follow it up with though!!!

lol once you get a reply you can just let the conversation flow

think its working

lol

See it's easy

Well it helps when you have a friendly person to message I guess "

Thats always a bonus, sometime people can be right bitches!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And some men can be proper nasty cunts lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And some men can be proper nasty cunts lol "

This is also true, good job neither of us are!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And some men can be proper nasty cunts lol

This is also true, good job neither of us are!!

Ha ha oh no I'm a

If only I think we can all be mean at times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And some men can be proper nasty cunts lol

This is also true, good job neither of us are!!

Ha ha oh no I'm a

If only I think we can all be mean at times "

Again very true x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones I get are - I m in your area ? - really good for you Swansea bay is nice this time of year !

Meet me now - er no ! not messaged you seen you or want to .

xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"Mine has to be

If I can't find anyone else you will do

I still chuckle

Sorry about that

It's ok your forgiven

thanks,your so understanding

It's no probs

If I can't find anyone else fancy a fuck fri lol

Does this involve cake? If so I'm ya man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And some men can be proper nasty cunts lol

This is also true, good job neither of us are!!

Ha ha oh no I'm a

If only I think we can all be mean at times "

What a shame I was hoping you might be a bit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy a fuck or Hi messages really gripe my shit....

Hi tash ....fancy a fuck

Lol xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah but the fancy a fuck we all get

And we probably all feel like punching the person in the face lol

Ok other week I was in wind street with mate for night and we put up meets for social

We ended up in Ice bar where a guy had messaged saying he was

I messaged saying you coming to say hi

And got a reply of fancy giving me a blowjob in the toilet

Oh yeah nothing I love more on my night out lol ffs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah but the fancy a fuck we all get

And we probably all feel like punching the person in the face lol

Ok other week I was in wind street with mate for night and we put up meets for social

We ended up in Ice bar where a guy had messaged saying he was

I messaged saying you coming to say hi

And got a reply of fancy giving me a blowjob in the toilet

Oh yeah nothing I love more on my night out lol ffs

What no offer to buy drink first- tight git

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Didn't even come and say hi as he was with his mates

lol

Cunts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourites have to be...

Please say you smoke! I want you to suck me off while smoking. ( literally that was it. No hello )

Someone wanting to buy my knickers....

And, my ultimate favourite...

Will you be my first?

" what first meet? "

No, first... As in Virgin. At 45.

I mean, I know it happens but....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have offered drink at least- def have made effort to talk to u face2face anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lol

Well that's sort of shit women get on here then some men wonder why they can't get a meet lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a social meet- it gets awkward chat out of way and also c if theres connection. Social meets are very underrated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like a social meet- it gets awkward chat out of way and also c if theres connection. Social meets are very underrated"

I always do socials first when I meet people

I love a good social

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like a social meet- it gets awkward chat out of way and also c if theres connection. Social meets are very underrated

I always do socials first when I meet people

I love a good social "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the first message.. I make myself chuckle from some of the things i'll start with..

A couple in tank would be..

"You look like a serial killer.."

"You'd go straight in my basket.."

"Did I just see you on crime stoppers?"

"I remember I dry jumped a leg like that once.." (Some profile pictures make me lol)

"I'm messaging you from prison I hope that's okay?"

It's all about the banter for me. The funnier the response the more inclined I am to get on with that person. That goes a long way for me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one the other day that said 'hi I'll be on holiday in your area next week and wondered if there was anything worth DOING?? Hehe'

To which I replied 'wtf do you think I am the Welsh tourist board!'

Block!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the first message.. I make myself chuckle from some of the things i'll start with..

A couple in tank would be..

"You look like a serial killer.."

"You'd go straight in my basket.."

"Did I just see you on crime stoppers?"

"I remember I dry jumped a leg like that once.." (Some profile pictures make me lol)

"I'm messaging you from prison I hope that's okay?"

It's all about the banter for me. The funnier the response the more inclined I am to get on with that person. That goes a long way for me..."

You won't get very far with those gems

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lol to be honest if someone makes me laugh or think what the feck lol I'm gonna reply some crap and have a laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the first message.. I make myself chuckle from some of the things i'll start with..

A couple in tank would be..

"You look like a serial killer.."

"You'd go straight in my basket.."

"Did I just see you on crime stoppers?"

"I remember I dry jumped a leg like that once.." (Some profile pictures make me lol)

"I'm messaging you from prison I hope that's okay?"

It's all about the banter for me. The funnier the response the more inclined I am to get on with that person. That goes a long way for me...

You won't get very far with those gems

I think you mean I wouldn't get very far with you maybe?

They tend to whittle out those who don't see the funny side of it for me which is great because I'm not wasting their time or mine. It's genius actually lol..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol to be honest if someone makes me laugh or think what the feck lol I'm gonna reply some crap and have a laugh "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol to be honest if someone makes me laugh or think what the feck lol I'm gonna reply some crap and have a laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the first message.. I make myself chuckle from some of the things i'll start with..

A couple in tank would be..

"You look like a serial killer.."

"You'd go straight in my basket.."

"Did I just see you on crime stoppers?"

"I remember I dry jumped a leg like that once.." (Some profile pictures make me lol)

"I'm messaging you from prison I hope that's okay?"

It's all about the banter for me. The funnier the response the more inclined I am to get on with that person. That goes a long way for me..."

If you sent me that I'd reply as I would think it was funny as fuck lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think it breaks up the million other brain dead messages you must get that's all..

Imagine you see a lit like this.

Hello

Wanna fuck?

Hia

HELLO

You look like a serial killer

Hello

What's up

Which one are you going to open lol..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

"I love the first message.. I make myself chuckle from some of the things i'll start with..

A couple in tank would be..

"You look like a serial killer.."

"You'd go straight in my basket.."

"Did I just see you on crime stoppers?"

"I remember I dry jumped a leg like that once.." (Some profile pictures make me lol)

"I'm messaging you from prison I hope that's okay?"

It's all about the banter for me. The funnier the response the more inclined I am to get on with that person. That goes a long way for me..."

Well I have to say you are definitely going straight in my basket. I'm sure you'll be delicious!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just think it breaks up the million other brain dead messages you must get that's all..

Imagine you see a lit like this.

Hello

Wanna fuck?

Hia

HELLO

You look like a serial killer

Hello

What's up

Which one are you going to open lol.."

You can get in my basket Anyday gorgeous and you know it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just think it breaks up the million other brain dead messages you must get that's all..

Imagine you see a lit like this.

Hello

Wanna fuck?

Hia

HELLO

You look like a serial killer

Hello

What's up

Which one are you going to open lol.."

You look like a serial killer lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was single, mine was "incurable romantic seeks filthy whore" worked sometimes too

Clyde...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I love the

Wanna come to my house no talking just suck me off then leave

Yeah no worries mate

Tell you what pop it through letterbox we don't even have to look at each other then lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Letter box that's a new type of glory hole

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the

Wanna come to my house no talking just suck me off then leave

Yeah no worries mate

Tell you what pop it through letterbox we don't even have to look at each other then lol "

That tickled me lol!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ha ha I have my moments

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye ya don't sweat much for a fat lass do ya!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some weirdo once suggested I made a kite and burnt my nads on a beach fire whilst pretending to wait for a dog !

Should have married her ! Pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a msg a while ago asking if I'd heard of a bra boy and if not would I be interested in having one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teve_lfcMan
over a year ago

chepstow

Massage available inbox if interested

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

"I had a msg a while ago asking if I'd heard of a bra boy and if not would I be interested in having one "

I've had that message too lol... it would have cost him a fortune buying bras for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had a message saying I look an attractive lady, would i like to chat and maybe consider a bareback, pregnancy risk meet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Piss in my mouth!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Piss in my mouth! "

You win the Internet today LOOOL!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Piss in my mouth!

You win the Internet today LOOOL! "

True story, not once, not twice but three times! Why do I attract them? Haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive just been told " you can Polish a turd but it's still a turd " after someone reading my status about shopping for some nice lingerie. Apparently im a turd then....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just been told " you can Polish a turd but it's still a turd " after someone reading my status about shopping for some nice lingerie. Apparently im a turd then...."

How rude!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading all these replies I'm now fucked on what I should write, I've used all of these in the past......I need 1st message help ??????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha hey looking good that's all I got

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just been told " you can Polish a turd but it's still a turd " after someone reading my status about shopping for some nice lingerie. Apparently im a turd then....

How rude!!!"

Well I thought so, but I can't be everyone's cup of tea can I? X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just had a message saying I look an attractive lady, would i like to chat and maybe consider a bareback, pregnancy risk meet?"

I had this the other day aswell. Some rare ones about xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just had a message saying I look an attractive lady, would i like to chat and maybe consider a bareback, pregnancy risk meet?

I had this the other day aswell. Some rare ones about xx"

I think he was doing the rounds.x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just had a message saying I look an attractive lady, would i like to chat and maybe consider a bareback, pregnancy risk meet?

I had this the other day aswell. Some rare ones about xx"

Nobody has offered to get me pregnant yet. I feel left out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just had a message saying I look an attractive lady, would i like to chat and maybe consider a bareback, pregnancy risk meet?

I had this the other day aswell. Some rare ones about xx

Nobody has offered to get me pregnant yet. I feel left out. "

One of you is enough.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ax-BangingMan
over a year ago

town

"Ive just been told " you can Polish a turd but it's still a turd " after someone reading my status about shopping for some nice lingerie. Apparently im a turd then....

How rude!!!

Well I thought so, but I can't be everyone's cup of tea can I? X"

More fool them your simply stunning sweetie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi hun

if you've still got energy come to mine I'll lick

Your pussy all day long

Wtf

Just received this earlier

Do he really think I would

Like fuck mate jog on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some weirdo once suggested I made a kite and burnt my nads on a beach fire whilst pretending to wait for a dog !

Should have married her ! Pmsl"

I didn't say burn

Just warm them up

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a message off a guy yesterday who had messaged me in the past but I had never really bothered replying to. He said "You're a cutie....a bit chunky but cute"

So I humoured him for a while saying he could take me out for dinner as long as it was an all you can eat buffet. I got bored after a while told him I wasn't really interested. So he replied "Trot on porky" and blocked me. Best line I've ever had tbh I thought it was hilarious and so did everyone at Porthcawl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a message off a guy yesterday who had messaged me in the past but I had never really bothered replying to. He said "You're a cutie....a bit chunky but cute"

Funny as fuck lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the

Wanna come to my house no talking just suck me off then leave

Yeah no worries mate

Tell you what pop it through letterbox we don't even have to look at each other then lol "

omg I'm creased here reading this funny as fuck omsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/08/15 11:09:25]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/08/15 11:09:31]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love the

Wanna come to my house no talking just suck me off then leave

Yeah no worries mate

Tell you what pop it through letterbox we don't even have to look at each other then lol

omg I'm creased here reading this funny as fuck omsl

Wonder what the neighbours would say lmao

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nothing, no one talks just knock then pop in letter box lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing, no one talks just knock then pop in letter box lol "

Is the whole street at it??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whole area lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dirty bastards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some weirdo once suggested I made a kite and burnt my nads on a beach fire whilst pretending to wait for a dog !

Should have married her ! Pmsl

I didn't say burn

Just warm them up

Lol "

Too late now... They are toasty thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some weirdo once suggested I made a kite and burnt my nads on a beach fire whilst pretending to wait for a dog !

Should have married her ! Pmsl

I didn't say burn

Just warm them up

Lol

Too late now... They are toasty thanks

You want me to kiss them better lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onkers 76Man
over a year ago

pontypool

Well do tell ladies what should an opening message be like ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Then all the guys would send us the same message

I reply to messages that catch my attention and maybe makes me laugh

But remember some times we get a lot so can't reply to it all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yesterday I was asked if I'd do bb and risk getting pregnant

I said no thanks I don't like kids lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's when you get I will pay you for your travel expenses

I just think to myself are they for real

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *INKYCAT123Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Won't catch me leaving dust

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

How about this one which I received yesterday

"I want to tie your tits tightly with rope, spunk on them and whip them"

I kindly said "no thank you"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about this one which I received yesterday

"I want to tie your tits tightly with rope, spunk on them and whip them"

I kindly said "no thank you"

Wasn't me !! Just saying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about this one which I received yesterday

"I want to tie your tits tightly with rope, spunk on them and whip them"

I kindly said "no thank you"

Aww fuck I had that aswell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Won't catch me leaving dust

Cilit bang.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Won't catch me leaving dust

Cilit bang.

Was his name B**** Sc*** and did he have to shout it loudly?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok just had an essay

It had nothing about my profile or saying we had similar interests I reply asking what shows its not a copy and paste and get a shirty reply that it states in the message I read your profile

I'm obviously not the person he thought I was ha ha ok mate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some crackers.

Would you like to use me as a toilet in the proper way ?

Can I wear your bra and panties and do housework for you

And my all time favourite. You look like you have a wide cunt.

I was only being friendly FFS

At least it was all in one message

Now I'm imagining you in pink furry marigolds with a feather duster.

Shall be my new profile photo after camp - just for you.

Can't wait. Swoon.

You missed a bit.

Oh don't worry if I don't hit the spot first off, im very thorough, not one to rush - just relax and await, I'll tease as I edge closer and closer and then BAMB.

Won't catch me leaving dust

Cilit bang.

Was his name B**** Sc*** and did he have to shout it loudly?"

I think his name is Dave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok just had an essay

It had nothing about my profile or saying we had similar interests I reply asking what shows its not a copy and paste and get a shirty reply that it states in the message I read your profile

I'm obviously not the person he thought I was ha ha ok mate "
next lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok just had an essay

It had nothing about my profile or saying we had similar interests I reply asking what shows its not a copy and paste and get a shirty reply that it states in the message I read your profile

I'm obviously not the person he thought I was ha ha ok mate next lol

Lol I find it amuses me when I'm bored

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs"

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you "

Oh go on then

you've twisted my arm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you "

Oh miss Lips what ever do you mean

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you

Oh miss Lips what ever do you mean

Well I was thinking

We could get naked

Simulate each other's senses

I must warn you thou I get ever so slightly damp at times

If you really get me aroused I may moan a little and be forced to tell you that I'm arriving

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you

Oh go on then

you've twisted my arm"

Not to hard I hope

I wouldn't want to hurt you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you

Oh go on then

you've twisted my arm

Not to hard I hope

I wouldn't want to hurt you "

Never fear like old boots I am.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've upgraded the 'fancy a fuck' message to

' one would like to give one one, wouldn't one'

I wonder if it will improve my chances

How posh

dropped my briefs

Don't let it be said that I ain't no gentleman

See manners gets you everywhere

Maybe even I don't suppose by any chance you might fancy an afternoon of sexual pleasure do you

Oh go on then

you've twisted my arm

Not to hard I hope

I wouldn't want to hurt you

Never fear like old boots I am.

I hope you some smell like them though ha ha

I look forward to seeing how tough you really are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok had a message asking if I fancied this guy getting a hotel

Then we could get high on and drink

Oh go on then you little bugger we can go bare back as well if you like ffs are these people serious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/15 17:14:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok had a message asking if I fancied this guy getting a hotel

Then we could get high on and drink

Oh go on then you little bugger we can go bare back as well if you like ffs are these people serious "

Reply with only if I can top and you dress as a pirate! Haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/15 01:03:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The "hi, how are you" one always gets me..

Most likely horny, my dear hence why we are on this site, right!?..

Another one "how big is your dick??".. Chances are, if I've stated on my profile it's rather large, I'm guessing... It's rather large.. Not unless I'm actually a 68 year old with a gut bigger than tinky winkies whilst also being completely in denial (and quite possibly on acid)... Oh, and deluded.. Which just for the record, I'm not...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So let me get this right

Your 68 beer belly and little willy

Hoo woo wanna meet lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So let me get this right

Your 68 beer belly and little willy

Hoo woo wanna meet lol

Pulled your dream man lush

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just 'cunt' No explanation whatsoever....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread