FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging and relationships.

By *aidinwales OP Woman
over a year ago

Rainbows End

Lots of posts about swinging and relationships going on at the moment so thought Id throw in a curved ball ...

People are saying this isn't the site for finding a relationship.. relationships happen surely not looked for? If they happen they happen. But one thing is for sure once you have been a swinger it puts a totally different outlook and expectation on future relationships.

I was widowed at 44 and having 2 adult kids at home it was very difficult having a male friend .. they had lost their Dad at the end of the day. I still had my own needs so turned to swinging to satisfy them. I then met a totally vanilla guy and remarried.. but as much as I thought I had what I wanted I still missed the excitement of swinging and the buzz from it. There was no way on this earth he was ever going to be interested in the scene even though he was totally aware of my past.

Im single now - not because I was a swinger - he played away from home ..that's cheating not swinging in my book. But the experience has made me very aware that if and when I decide I'm ready to be with someone again full time ideally it would be with someone who has the same mindset as I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with you, once you've walked this path it's difficult to go back & with all the best intentions a vanilla partner is not always going to fully appreciate this lifestyle. They're will be all sorts of relationships developed here, some more formal & exclusive than others, but isn't it that diversity that keeps us here, as well as the fun & friend we make along the way of course x

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By *aidinwales OP Woman
over a year ago

Rainbows End

"Totally agree with you, once you've walked this path it's difficult to go back & with all the best intentions a vanilla partner is not always going to fully appreciate this lifestyle. They're will be all sorts of relationships developed here, some more formal & exclusive than others, but isn't it that diversity that keeps us here, as well as the fun & friend we make along the way of course x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of posts about swinging and relationships going on at the moment so thought Id throw in a curved ball ...

I absolute totally agree with you on this one.

This is why at the moment I don't think im ready to entry the vanilla world as I don't find it exciting enough.

I've had a few buddy's who have said they don't mind seeing other guys with me but when it happens they don't like it

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By *astmeetswest77Couple
over a year ago

monmouth

we both met on a swinging site many moons ago and two kids later. the rest is history as they say.

but after the birth of our second, we virtually had a sexless marriage. it just didn't happen and we didn't mind for a long time.

then one morning, mr found a convo on the pc. mrs was chatting on a sex site to some guy in Manchester and it was steamy to say the least.

mrs thought oh shit I've really fucked this up. it's over. ironically it just turned mr on and reignited our naughty side.

we love each other, so jealousy doesn't come in to the equation.

so in answer to the question. no the swing thing never leaves you. just goes dormant for a while due to things going on in your life.

now we're happier, hornier, more erect and wet than we were a couple of years ago.

thank you fellow swingers you're wonderful peeps. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is people are looking, I say if it happens it happens but our societal pressures say you must be in one, look for one. I've had to stop dating and come here because you have one date, tell them your not actively looking and still they go nuts if there isn't a second date. They thought there was something special(this is what happens when you give them the sly bum finger)

it's mad out there and at least most people here have some understanding of human sexual nature and that relationships should blossom. I've never said it shouldn't happen here, she swings I swing and we can all swing together. Vanilla you probably won't get a relationship like that. And then there are the preconceived expectations and conceptions to what a relationship is in vanilla land. I heard the other day, how can two people who are men to be in love have sex elsewhere? That can't be love... How ignorant a view, love is love and sex is sex. Don't confuse them, enjoy them together and seperately

well that's my twofity worth for ya haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was to meet somebody from here and we clicked that well I wouldn't disregard the idea of something a bit more but I'm a person with needs just as well as a partner would be.

I like the freedom this lifestyle gives and it's all without emotion, being realistic I don't think anybody vanilla would understand that but likely have more chance finding somebody similarly minded on here.

So many aspects of 'swinging' I enjoy, I know I'd miss them going vanilla as much as I tried to convince myself I wouldn't.

I don't think there is any going back once you're part of the scene... Some likely have but I bet it's not been plain sailing and without temptation.

Sharing is caring, lust not love, but happy for somebody to prove me wrong and still be able to enjoy 'swinging'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to fall in and out of the Fab/vanilla worlds, though although this world is completely meaningless to me. I'd give it all up tomorrow if I met the right one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I was to meet somebody from here and we clicked that well I wouldn't disregard the idea of something a bit more but I'm a person with needs just as well as a partner would be.

So many aspects of 'swinging' I enjoy, I know I'd miss them going vanilla as much as I tried to convince myself I wouldn't.

I don't think there is any going back once you're part of the scene... Some likely have but I bet it's not been plain sailing and without temptation.

Sharing is caring, lust not love, but happy for somebody to prove me wrong and still be able to enjoy 'swinging' "

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By *20 And ChillMan
over a year ago

Pontypridd

"I tend to fall in and out of the Fab/vanilla worlds, though although this world is completely meaningless to me. I'd give it all up tomorrow if I met the right one."

Only been on 'FAB' a short time but I totally get this as I'm the same !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just got back from a vanilla date with someone I only started started chatting to yesterday on POF. I don't think the dating thing is for me. I don't really know how to act anymore in vanilla situations

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By *aidinwales OP Woman
over a year ago

Rainbows End

"I tend to fall in and out of the Fab/vanilla worlds, though although this world is completely meaningless to me. I'd give it all up tomorrow if I met the right one."

I gave it all up ... Willingly ... But trust me it never really goes away. I didn't look for anything other than what I had the whole time we were together but the knowledge there was another world out there never completely disappeared.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just got back from a vanilla date with someone I only started started chatting to yesterday on POF. I don't think the dating thing is for me. I don't really know how to act anymore in vanilla situations

This. I'm unsure of where the line is anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same, I can't do the normal conversation thing, it doesn't help that all my friends are now in this scene. I'm not complaining though, a life partner isn't for me & my friends here are awesome x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. I'm unsure of where the line is anymore.

I had a vanilla date yesterday, don't get me wrong it was all good... But we planned to meet back up last night to fuck, and well, I wanted us to fuck on cam

you know, as you do, miffed wasn't the word.

Spoil sport!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. I'm unsure of where the line is anymore.

I had a vanilla date yesterday, don't get me wrong it was all good... But we planned to meet back up last night to fuck, and well, I wanted us to fuck on cam

you know, as you do, miffed wasn't the word.

Spoil sport! "

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. I'm unsure of where the line is anymore.

This too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This. I'm unsure of where the line is anymore.

I had a vanilla date yesterday, don't get me wrong it was all good... But we planned to meet back up last night to fuck, and well, I wanted us to fuck on cam

you know, as you do, miffed wasn't the word.

Spoil sport!

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Otherwise something you'd talk about over breakfast with a fellow 'swinger'

Crazy difference isn't it.

I feel so comfortable within the confines of the swinging world's walls.

Beyond just gets too stressful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started dropping hints just to test the waters, but now I'm pretty much upfront and nonchalant about it. I'd rather a guy know straight up because it won't work out if they're not on board from the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I started dropping hints just to test the waters, but now I'm pretty much upfront and nonchalant about it. I'd rather a guy know straight up because it won't work out if they're not on board from the start."

Tried that with two vanillas and it scared them half to death - pretty sure they changed my name on their phone to pervert

Oh and one, I started with.... Well I lead a different kind of lifestyle, was then asked if I was Muslim... Really? I give up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried that with two vanillas and it scared them half to death - pretty sure they changed my name on their phone to pervert

Oh and one, I started with.... Well I lead a different kind of lifestyle, was then asked if I was Muslim... Really? I give up! "

Oh dear.

Yeah it can scare them off. Which is fine, filters out the ones who I'd eat alive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/08/15 17:14:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried that with two vanillas and it scared them half to death - pretty sure they changed my name on their phone to pervert

Oh and one, I started with.... Well I lead a different kind of lifestyle, was then asked if I was Muslim... Really? I give up!

Oh dear.

Yeah it can scare them off. Which is fine, filters out the ones who I'd eat alive.

Even pure vanilla it's hard to find perfect so I'll just enjoy doing what I'm doing until maybe one day I'll get a surprise.

Failing that I'll be the 90 year old on Viagra with a specially made zimmer for my cock and a huge smile on my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of posts about swinging and relationships going on at the moment so thought Id throw in a curved ball ...

People are saying this isn't the site for finding a relationship.. relationships happen surely not looked for? If they happen they happen. But one thing is for sure

sure once you have been a swinger it puts a totally different outlook and expectation on future relationships.

I absolute totally agree with you on this one.

This is why at the moment I don't think im ready to entry the vanilla world as I don't find it exciting enough.

I've had a few buddy's who have said they don't mind seeing other guys with me but when it happens they don't like it

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By *RH and HRNCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Don't think it ever leaves you . . Once on the scene you'll always dip back from time to time . . Sex with different people as and when makes sense and being completely vanilla is too boring 100% of the time xx

Tried explaining to a swinging friend that he'll always come back and he always does . . X

Happy where I am . . With my hubby enjoying it here when we can xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The difference is conversation I had with a colleague who met someone who is on Fab to when he met someone who was as you put it "vanilla" was interesting.

The vanilla experiences he shared were somewhat standard to be fair. Nothing out of the ordinary and generally quite boring to be fair.

Then Miss Fab turns up which he met on another meeting/dating/whatever it is. Now he doesnt know I lurk on this website so the conversation was genuine from a vanilla perspective because he isn't a swinger himself and had no idea I'd have an insight/interest

Miss Fab lit has this guys life up. Miss Fab is open and honest about her lifestyle and it's only improved things for her it seems. He's not only interested in her much more than previous dates, they are genuinely in to eachother and he's cool with all her interests.

So what have I discovered? Well it would be this. Each to their bloody own and don't worry about what others think because chances are they haven't met anyone as cool as you before.

By the way Miss Fab and Mr Colleague are still dating and having fun.

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By *20 And ChillMan
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

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By *hris n TwinkyCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Once a swinger always a swinger!!

We met here as two singles a number of years ago, now in a relationship it's been a bumpy ride but we're now discovering the vanilla side of each others lives and loving it. Finding the happy mix of vanilla and swing is what makes the perfect relationship.

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

Must be hard to meet someone on here and start a relationship, as you have to have the mindset free from the shackles of insecurity and jealousy. Even if we are starting out as open minded people, it can be a whole different ball game if you have feelings for someone, because lets face it, emotional attachment doesn't normally form part of the swinging life; it is purely about sex and having fun.

It would be interesting to see just exactly how many relationships worked out, and how many failed, but we shall never know. It must be so much easier to get into this lifestyle as an established couple... or is it? Similar issues can rear their head again!

Is there really any straight forward answer when it comes to relationships and this lifestyle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

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By *iForNowXXMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

[Removed by poster at 14/08/15 01:37:15]

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By *iForNowXXMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I didn't persue things with a girl I really liked as I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the swinging bi guy bit. Years later I have seen her on here married to a bi guy. If you get the opportunity to meet someone you like, even if it's on here, presume nothing and grasp the nettle . You may not get another chance.

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By *esi tardkaCouple
over a year ago

acton

Vanilla only have it as ice cream .. Not our scene ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met my ex on here , we were both single swingers although I had swung in a previous relationship for 4 years , everything was amazing with me and my last ex for about 6 months we swung went to clubs etc the sex was amazing and then life just hit him and it went down hill , sex every couple of weeks , he didn't want to go swinging anymore as he loved me and he didn't see me as his naughty swinger partner anymore , I lasted one more year of very little sex , no matter how many times we talked and he said he's change or we'd spice it up was just too much , so I ended it , was gutted was amazing at first thought I'd found the perfect partner in crime as we has so much fun, shows it can go from amazing to sour, I recently started dating vanilla guys and yeh it's so boring , I was seeing one recently I've been up front and honest about me and swinging and me being on this site , we'd been on 3 dates the third we has slept together ( I wasn't impressed but thought I'd give me a few more chances to prove himself ) he only txt me last night with screen shots from his friends asking about my profile , said he couldn't handle me being on here ! Even tho he has mentioned many times he had always wanted to swing , pfft

I've decided single life is the way for me for a good while and yeh if someone comes along here and it moves forward I'd be chuffed but after my past experience I don't know if it really works after a while once they fall in love with u

Vanilla is just too boring for me now I'm addicted to my swinging lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

For most men the thought of giving a girl anal and an ffm is a dream however from conversations with people I have worked with when confronted with either they run..

How far would I take you kgirl... Western super mare?? Oh go on i will push the boat out for you Bognor Regis it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

I use a tried and tested copy and paste message which also includes the line 'fancy a fuck'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

I use a tried and tested copy and paste message which also includes the line 'fancy a fuck'

Seems like its working well for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

I use a tried and tested copy and paste message which also includes the line 'fancy a fuck'

Seems like its working well for you

Not let me down so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try explaining the joy of anal play leading to fisting to straight vanilla men. Wahhhhhh. Never getting satisfied again.

Depends who's doing the fisting ? Haha

Them on me. For most straight men anal penetration is the end goal. I want someone who takes more delight in how far they can take me.

So you couldnt ask a 'vanilla' partner to slide his fingers into your arse then add another and another, then say fuck it whack ur fist up me?

As that's not how anal play works errr No funnily enough.

Aww creased

I would be if the struggle wasn't so real.

I bet that poster sends lovellyyyyy first messages

I use a tried and tested copy and paste message which also includes the line 'fancy a fuck'

Seems like its working well for you

Not let me down so far

Iv asked a "vanilla" to do the same as iv asked someone on fab... I met a guy got back found our he weren't so good with his cock so asked him to fist me both ways he had no problem and he was a vanilla meet... don't ask don't get... and as for your "fancy a fuck" don't you get a slap across the face off me when asked???

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By *he Lady and the TrampCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Both of us ended up on here as singles due to boring marriages neither of us wanted or thought we needed a relationship. But just clicked we are absolutely head over heal in love with each other and got married earlier this year. We have had to take a step back for over a year from the socials etc due to a new business venture. But are both missing it so much will be back very very soon hopefully. So yep you can have both worlds and still be normal xxx

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