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Farting in bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Come on guys let me know is it just me that has a problem with farting in bed? I've tried everything, tablets, powders, the lot, it's getting so bad now that Nessa's sleeping in our spare bed, I'm realy out of ideas, and I'm in desperate need of help. Unless someone comes up with an alternative idea I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put a large cork up Nessa's bum, I have stop her somehow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oi ffs you cheeky fooker im not the 1 with the farting problem carry on and your gonna need a spare house to live in never mind a spare room

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm searching for an answer to your severe wind problem babes, the quilt is on the cieling more than it's on the bed, I'm catching colds every other day now. I can tolerate the smell, the gas mask you bought me helps, and no matter what I still love you xxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your a severe problem full stop and ive got just the cure carry on and you just might find out

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Go on babe tell me?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmmmm same problem experianced here aswell Smiffy mate, Girl has shipped me off to lands afar to attempt to cure the wind problem, I like you have had enough and will personally be glad of the break

I just hope the doctors can find a cure for her whilst I am away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a little confused i wonder if i will be enlightened... now is this ... bum farts .. or Foo Foo farts

Class em both as foreplay anyway.

walks away up wind xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the snoring thas the problem lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its the snoring thas the problem lol"

I find holding the nose untill the cheeks turn blue often resolves the snoring issues, however the last time I inserted a cork to try resolve the farting issue I got shot !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Latest cure for farting !!!!

Last night after the umpteenth "trump" I decided to go for a major cure !!! As we all know "corks" are dangerous, try a chocolate button instead .............

Insert aforementioned chocolate button gently between offenders buttock cheeks, wait for approx 1 hour then wake offender and in a disgusted voice point out that the last "trump" had followed through

Girl didnt see the funny side last night and this post has taken me over an hour to type with my knob as she has broken my fingers, nose,.............

maybe not such an effective cure !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I snore like a diesel compressor so I'm banished to the back bedroom,except for conjugal visits.went screaming into her bedroom yesterday morning shouting "why didn't you wake me for work??it's 6.30

only to be told "get back to bed stupid,it's 5.30"bloody clocks went back.

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