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made me smile anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In the men's room, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands... clear up to his elbows... he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Nebraska and they taught us to be sanitary."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Iowa and they taught us not to pee on our hands."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to fail a girl today for flirting with me for the entire duration of her driving test.

It's harsh but I have to stand by my principles. She should've got straight to sucking me off like the other girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex on the internet is so hardcore these days - there are movies with squirting, fisting fireman, giant dildos, fuck machines, swinging, Dogging, etc.

I'm so upset that gone are the days when I used to wank over the lingerie section in my mum's catalogue ahaa

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A woman of advanced age visited her doctor to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.

“Not a chance” she replied. “He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem" said the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra."

"What is Irish Viagra?" she asked.

"It's Viagra dissolved in a cup of coffee. He won't even taste it. Let me know how it goes" he said.

She called the doctor the next day. "How did it go?" he asked.

" Doctor, it was horrid. just terrible."

"Really? What in the world happened?"

"Well, I did as you advised. The Viagra in his coffee took effect right almost immediately. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle In his eye and his pants a-bulging fiercely. With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and saucers flying across the room, then he ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there on top of the table. It was a nightmare, I tell you, a absolute nightmare!"

“Why so terrible" asked the doctor. "Wasn't the sex good?"

" it was the best sex I've had in 25 years, but sure as I'm sitting here, doctor, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."

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By *all Mid WalesMan
over a year ago

Mid Wales


"A woman of advanced age visited her doctor to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.

“Not a chance” she replied. “He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem" said the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra."

"What is Irish Viagra?" she asked.

"It's Viagra dissolved in a cup of coffee. He won't even taste it. Let me know how it goes" he said.

She called the doctor the next day. "How did it go?" he asked.

" Doctor, it was horrid. just terrible."

"Really? What in the world happened?"

"Well, I did as you advised. The Viagra in his coffee took effect right almost immediately. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle In his eye and his pants a-bulging fiercely. With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and saucers flying across the room, then he ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there on top of the table. It was a nightmare, I tell you, a absolute nightmare!"

“Why so terrible" asked the doctor. "Wasn't the sex good?"

" it was the best sex I've had in 25 years, but sure as I'm sitting here, doctor, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again." "

That is a good joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neighbour said to me today:

"Dave, how come you have so many cars?"

"Well," I said "The wife and I have been doing a bit of swinging recently"

"Oh right" he said sheepishly "Do a lot of them stay over then?"

"No" I said "It's just that every time she pulls a set of keys out the hat, the owner fucks off"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My neighbour said to me today:

"Dave, how come you have so many cars?"

"Well," I said "The wife and I have been doing a bit of swinging recently"

"Oh right" he said sheepishly "Do a lot of them stay over then?"

"No" I said "It's just that every time she pulls a set of keys out the hat, the owner fucks off""

love it lol

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