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Total Lack of Discretion

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have recently found out that another member from this site, who just happens to be a single guy, thinks it is acceptable to tell others that I swing. I regard him as a dangerous character who is a slob. However, I am very concerned about his total lack of discretion and fear that at some time he might reveal my secret to my family or my non swinging friends. Obviously the site rules prevent me from exposing him on this site and wonder what actions other members might suggest I take.

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

He is on here for the same reason, as you and the rest of us are.

He outs you, he outs himself too. As he will be asked how he knows.

Hope the situation sorts itself out for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had very similar problem recently with a make on here who decided to threaten me...... I blocked him and reported him hopefully he doesn't know too much about you and is full of empty threats xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why I'm very discrete about what my swinging partners know about my personal life

I keep swinging and Facebook, for example, completely separate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are lucky as our friends and most of our family now. And like someone has said he will only disclose himself if he does x

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Someone I knew on here believed only way you know if someone is genuine was to add them in Facebook too. But that family and friends. Yes I do have a few that I've met that have crossed over to the friends catagory but they are people I trust. I wouldn't just add any tom dick or harry on there.

Hope he doesn't cause anymore trouble for you and really like said above he can't out you without outing himself xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets slow down and think, if he were to inform on you. One he would need to know that information, two you do not know his intention.

Discretion is beyond the comprehension of some people on here unfortunately. Disclosing that you are a swinger to your immediate family and friends is unfortunately out of your control all you can do is block, hopefully your secret lifestyle will stay secret.

Fab used to be a place where everyone knew everyone and incidents like this were almost non-existent, this is the third case in a matter of months and it is the very reason women and couples frequently do not meet single guys and the very reason why it has gone downhill.

If you put information out there, then people will use it. If you have a need to keep the swinging lifestyle and private life which I think most people do, then protect yourself by not divulging information including images that may be used to identify you and scrutinise any potential meets. Use a different phone for meets and never link it to the book thingy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if it's the same twat who knocked my door last night, totally uninvited & could not get that it was totally inappropriate & lacking discretion. He's now blocked & I'll be more cautious in my choices in the future x

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"I wonder if it's the same twat who knocked my door last night, totally uninvited & could not get that it was totally inappropriate & lacking discretion. He's now blocked & I'll be more cautious in my choices in the future x"

Bloody hell that's not on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy I had met for few months had come over when I had house to myself

Then one night turned up at my house d*unk at 3am

This was a few years back

I went mental and told him to get the f away from my house and not to ever contact me again grr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder if it's the same twat who knocked my door last night, totally uninvited & could not get that it was totally inappropriate & lacking discretion. He's now blocked & I'll be more cautious in my choices in the future x"

Oh fuck. That's horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to OPs problem

He might not care who knows about him being a swinger

even thou I'm quite open about what I do there is some family members you wouldn't want to know about what I do

One of my family members found out a few years ago and the shit I had was unbelievable.

Even now I get the odd comments

I personally don't think we are doing anything wrong

But not everyone thinks the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have recently found out that another member from this site, who just happens to be a single guy, thinks it is acceptable to tell others that I swing. I regard him as a dangerous character who is a slob. However, I am very concerned about his total lack of discretion and fear that at some time he might reveal my secret to my family or my non swinging friends. Obviously the site rules prevent me from exposing him on this site and wonder what actions other members might suggest I take."

That's a ridiculous thing to have happen.

I have a sensible workable solution to something like this. PM me to discuss it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder if it's the same twat who knocked my door last night, totally uninvited & could not get that it was totally inappropriate & lacking discretion. He's now blocked & I'll be more cautious in my choices in the future x"

Been there recently myself, I was furious! I don't get why some think they have the right to remove the discretion from something you agree before.

My home is private, if I invite you at a time it's that time only. NOT an open invite for the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some right idiots about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He reckons because I gave him the address & he knew I lived alone that it would be ok, never mind that it's scared the shit out of me & made me step back a bit x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He reckons because I gave him the address & he knew I lived alone that it would be ok, never mind that it's scared the shit out of me & made me step back a bit x"

Yes same, I live alone and that was fully knowledgeable. Nobody was at my house apart from me that night but anybody banging on my door at 11pm is unknown to happen so it did kinda shit me up until I opened the door - then out come lots of expletives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I have totally nothing to hide. Friends, family and work all know of my lifestyle choice...but I would never out, risk or compromise fab friends through indiscretion.

A few fab friends have become much more...have met my family and other friends etc. my sister thinks it is highly amusing...but would never participate in anything beyond shopping with a couple of my fab friends.

I know a few others on here who have no secrets...from friends or family....so I can be open with them etc.

But always discretion and trust is to be prized where needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I never meet at mine. Use your heads, people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do use my head & in 5 years this has never happened to me before so I reckon that's good going. I feel safer meeting at mine, I feel comfy & don't have to worry about destroying the soft furnishings & I have access to people around me should I not feel happy. My only really bad meet was in a hotel room, so whatever or choices we make them for a reason, not because we can't use our heads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do use my head & in 5 years this has never happened to me before so I reckon that's good going. I feel safer meeting at mine, I feel comfy & don't have to worry about destroying the soft furnishings & I have access to people around me should I not feel happy. My only really bad meet was in a hotel room, so whatever or choices we make them for a reason, not because we can't use our heads "

That wasn't aimed at anybody, just a reminder for people not to set themselves up for such consequences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I never meet at mine. Use your heads, people "

This. The thought of someone turning up uninvited at a later date when my kids were home is the very reason why I don't accom at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He reckons because I gave him the address & he knew I lived alone that it would be ok, never mind that it's scared the shit out of me & made me step back a bit x"

Some people are so fucking cheeky and have no grasp on respect for other people. What a moron xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I never meet at mine. Use your heads, people

This. The thought of someone turning up uninvited at a later date when my kids were home is the very reason why I don't accom at all"

At all

Not ever ? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened to me once.

The guy sent people to my house for sex when my kids where here he even put me on a dogging site and gave my number out on there.

In the end I had no choice but to inform the police

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It happened to me once.

The guy sent people to my house for sex when my kids where here he even put me on a dogging site and gave my number out on there.

In the end I had no choice but to inform the police "

It's bloody terrible the sick levels people will sink to

I'd just order a takeaway to your house lol

Kebab or curry lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It happened to me once.

The guy sent people to my house for sex when my kids where here he even put me on a dogging site and gave my number out on there.

In the end I had no choice but to inform the police

It's bloody terrible the sick levels people will sink to

I'd just order a takeaway to your house lol

Funny you should say that....

Was it you biatch lol

Kebab or curry lol "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will be once you inbox me your addy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is why i have a metal bar nr the door knock my door @ 3 am ur havin it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is why i have a metal bar nr the door knock my door @ 3 am ur havin it "

In a no sexual manner I'm guessing ? Lol

Only joking it's not right thou

I was in bed sleeping and my kids were in house

Lucky they didn't hear

But I will be honest I was really scared at first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I never meet at mine. Use your heads, people

This. The thought of someone turning up uninvited at a later date when my kids were home is the very reason why I don't accom at all

At all

Not ever ? lol "

Nope never. Have done in the past but wouldn't in a million years now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that was my point

Most of us have but we try and learn from it

None of us are perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might use the title of this post as the name of my autobiography

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But that was my point

Most of us have but we try and learn from it

None of us are perfect "

Better to be safe than sorry these days xx

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By *enuine photographerMan
over a year ago

Swansea

Unfortunately these twats are there whatever you do, swinging or not. I was a copper ad the calls we had regarding arseholes trying to get into women's houses at all times of day was a pain. Invariably they were pissed or drugged up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/09/15 12:56:07]

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By * and CCouple
over a year ago

near Cardiff

Wow, these stories make we wonder if this site is worth it. We were thinking of accommodating in the near future but will probably re-think that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's shocking, there's no wonder that it's so hard for the genuine guys amongst us to have some fun with couples and single females!

Truly disrespectful and downright f'ing nasty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder if it's the same twat who knocked my door last night, totally uninvited & could not get that it was totally inappropriate & lacking discretion. He's now blocked & I'll be more cautious in my choices in the future x"

If that happened to us I'd knock his block off

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