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hysterical toy experiences

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Heard a funny story by a vanilla friend recently and was wondering who on here has haD any??

Hers involved chasing her puppy up the road in her pjs with a rather bright pink rubber instrument in its mouth... Followed by the postman and neighbour. Dear god i cried laughing

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By *JLittleminxxxxWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Mine not so funny. But use to have a bullet on a stick my daughter found it she must have been about 5 ish. I told her it was a back massager. Later the night I heard my toy. Went upstairs to see my daughter with toy on her back saying that her back hurt as well. After that I have to hide it a bit better

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a rubber cock ring on with a girlfriend once. Tried taking it off once we had finished but couldnt get it over the end and it was well stuck. Tried everthing and ended up having to cut it with a stanley knife which was a very upsetting thing to do (although to hear her laughing you wouldnt have thought so)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv had loads! Anyone know the dumb and dumber scene where he's shaking the dido saying "look who's coming to the party " my son ran in the living room in front of my family wobbling around a great big dildo shouting "look who's coming to the partayyyyy!" Ha

Also had an experience not so funny.. was playing with a female both on end of a rubber/latex double ender..Both obviously allergic to it ..started to burn... few mins later we were sat in a bath full of cold water trying to cool our tuppies :') agony .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a student my mates found mine and boys being boys they ran down my busy main street waving it like a helicopter and shouting 'woooo!' Dying chasing them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love these...am crying here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my son found my riding crop and came running down the stairs saying with such excitement and riding crop in his hand.......mam mam am i getting a horse for christmas ......i could have died lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a good night in a hotel ( which will remain name less) we packed up our belongings checking the room we are happy we had cleared it, on unpacking I'd discovered I'd left my double ended dildo in hotel so I phoned the hotel to ask they were silent for a bit then in a giggly voice said no we haven't found a double ended dildo in the room

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"my son found my riding crop and came running down the stairs saying with such excitement and riding crop in his hand.......mam mam am i getting a horse for christmas ......i could have died lol"

Oh dear god im pissing laughing here...so sorry pmsl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've anaesthetised several people who had had them stuck in various orifices.....

We offer them back to them, but they rarely take them.

It continually amazes me what people will use to get themselves off too, in substitution for proper sex toys.

The most memorable being the guy who got brought to a&e attached to a toilet roll holder... Plus half of his bathroom wall! The fire brigade had had to chip away at his bathroom tiles!

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By *all Mid WalesMan
over a year ago

Mid Wales


"my son found my riding crop and came running down the stairs saying with such excitement and riding crop in his hand.......mam mam am i getting a horse for christmas ......i could have died lol"

Very similar to an incident that happened to myself and a partner when we forgot to put the toys away after a passoionate session earlier that day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've anaesthetised several people who had had them stuck in various orifices.....

We offer them back to them, but they rarely take them.

It continually amazes me what people will use to get themselves off too, in substitution for proper sex toys.

The most memorable being the guy who got brought to a&e attached to a toilet roll holder... Plus half of his bathroom wall! The fire brigade had had to chip away at his bathroom tiles! "

Omg!!!!

I bet you see all sorts!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work men was working in a flat where the woman had moved out but left a lot of stuff in there I was out side talking to a old woman of 75 when out the window came a pink dildo the old woman picked it up and said what the hell is this well Iwas peeing my self as iI was telling her, are they good she asked and one of the work men said why don't u keep it and have a go well I just couldn't talk with laughing

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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking


"I've anaesthetised several people who had had them stuck in various orifices.....

We offer them back to them, but they rarely take them.

It continually amazes me what people will use to get themselves off too, in substitution for proper sex toys.

The most memorable being the guy who got brought to a&e attached to a toilet roll holder... Plus half of his bathroom wall! The fire brigade had had to chip away at his bathroom tiles! "

You want to come to endoscopy and see what we are faced with sometimes lol.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying reading these

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"After a good night in a hotel ( which will remain name less) we packed up our belongings checking the room we are happy we had cleared it, on unpacking I'd discovered I'd left my double ended dildo in hotel so I phoned the hotel to ask they were silent for a bit then in a giggly voice said no we haven't found a double ended dildo in the room "

She fibs!

She made me ring the hotel, but I couldn't ask if we'd left a dildo, so I asked if there was a "personal item" handed in, they kept asking what I meant, in the end she took the phone off me and came out with the immortal line "he means a double dildo!".. the person on the other end burst out laughing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Made my day some of these stories, good harmless funny fun,, what this site needs to get back too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After a good night in a hotel ( which will remain name less) we packed up our belongings checking the room we are happy we had cleared it, on unpacking I'd discovered I'd left my double ended dildo in hotel so I phoned the hotel to ask they were silent for a bit then in a giggly voice said no we haven't found a double ended dildo in the room

She fibs!

She made me ring the hotel, but I couldn't ask if we'd left a dildo, so I asked if there was a "personal item" handed in, they kept asking what I meant, in the end she took the phone off me and came out with the immortal line "he means a double dildo!".. the person on the other end burst out laughing "

Lmao here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laughing my boobs off at these!

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