FabSwingers.com forum: TRANSGENDER

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is a topic that's close to my heart at the moment.so please if I word anything wrong please don't shout at me...

Just wanted people's views on what they would do if...

There daughter/son wanted to change the sex they where born in?

I know of a few guys that have gone from a male to a females body or who likes to dress as a women..

But I don't know anyone who has gone from a female to a man...

I gave birth to a beautiful girl and over the years I have seen that she always wanted to be a boy.I thought it was a part of growing up..

Over the past few years her appearance has totally change to look more like a man.I also buy mens toiletries and clothes...she wears binds so she has no breasts.

As many people know me I for one isn't ashamed of her/he at all..

I totally accept that my daughter is now a boy and will continue loving and caring for her know matter what...I've just started calling her what she wants to be known as..and yeah it difficult after nearly 18 years calling her one name to now change to another...

Anyway I just wanted to know your views on this as it's something we don't really discuss or is it it's just brushed under the carpet?

How would you as a parent deal with this?

What advice would you give anyone out there if you have been through a similar situation??

Cheers all

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

only thing we could ever say on this is its going to be a long and hard path not just for him but for you too and through this. mum will no doubt be more than needed on many occasions so as long as you are there then we are sure every thing in the end will turn out just fine. we wish you both all the luck you will need to get through this xxxxxxxxxx

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By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

I'd like to think that I would love them regardless. As long as my kids are happy and loved that's my main concern. Just give lots of love and support

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think, as long as you can keep the lines of communication open and honest between you then things can be easier for both.

Don't be afraid to ask questions to help you understand, goes both ways. Let your child know you will try and answer any questions. Anything you don't know, search online together to find answers.

The more accepting you are, or perceive to be, to your child. The more relaxed they will be around you and your family.

Won't be easy and there is no quick route. Best of luck with it all. You know where I am giggs if you just need to chat xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all

The hardest part for me at the moment is feeling guilty...

About her/him being in the sex she doesn't want to be in.i don't even know if that would make sense to you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is so much we don't understand about the human mind and body.

You got nothing to feel guilty about you did nothing wrong.

Your doing the best thing anyone could ask. And that's to support love care and seek advice. There's going to be difficult times ahead for him and you and you doing good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi giggles

Remember it takes a brave person to do it and it takes an understanding parent to support them too just remember this is still the same person you have loved for the last 18 years, and you will also get some family members and friends talking and may even get offensive at times but just politely say it's still the same person you've known for the last x years I would still be proud of my children no matter what happens to them in the future as long as they turn out to be a nice person

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By *restatynCplCouple
over a year ago

Rhyl

All you can do is just be there.

Your daughter has had long enough to decide what she wants to do with her life and body, and has clearly made her decision so the only thing left for you to do is be supportive.

At her age, it's not likely to be a 'phase', but a clear minded decision, and fair play to her! You're both going to have to be very brave and grow thick skins though. Not everyone will be fair minded or accepting.

Good luck to both of you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to feel guilty you should be proud of your son. He's fought a long hard battle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think he is lucky to have an open minded parent as you. How many kids have been disowned by their parents. My mother always told me she would disown me if I became a lesbian so I became bi instead PMSL. You have nothin to feel guilty about. All you need to do is keep what your doing an support him in everything that he wants to do xxx

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By *ibeautyWoman
over a year ago

Newport

Anexample of fine parenting right there giggles.......

I cant even tell my mam im bi..... fact your child can go to you and be fully supported speaks volumes...

Wishing you both lots of love and luck on the journey xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all so much.

I have been wanting to write something for so long about transgender but didn't know how the forum would accept it so to speak...

The past 2 years have been the hardest but lucky I have 2 very supportive people in our lives who are there through the hard times.

I didn't do this as a poor me thread as people who know me already know what I've been going through.I am doing this to make people aware that it could be anyone going through this...

I love my kids unconditional and like many parents would support and be there for them like I am.

But we aren't all like that and my heart goes out to the kids that haven't got that communication with there family and have to hide who they are...everyone should be who or what that want to be...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anexample of fine parenting right there giggles.......

I cant even tell my mam im bi..... fact your child can go to you and be fully supported speaks volumes...

Wishing you both lots of love and luck on the journey xx"

If u wanna chat im here

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By *ibeautyWoman
over a year ago

Newport

"Anexample of fine parenting right there giggles.......

I cant even tell my mam im bi..... fact your child can go to you and be fully supported speaks volumes...

Wishing you both lots of love and luck on the journey xx

If u wanna chat im here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anexample of fine parenting right there giggles.......

I cant even tell my mam im bi..... fact your child can go to you and be fully supported speaks volumes...

Wishing you both lots of love and luck on the journey xx

If u wanna chat im here

xx"

Anytime xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are so lucky to have you there for them, some dont your doing an excellent job as a parent dont change anything xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They are so lucky to have you there for them, some dont your doing an excellent job as a parent dont change anything xx"

Thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giggs - knowing how much my daughter is costing me while we do the 'parents of the bride paying for the wedding' thing - there is an upside to now having a son instead lol!

Seriously though - your love for your child is unconditional and I wish you both every happiness for the future.

No-one ever says being a parent is easy.. but Iit is worth it.

Xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Giggs - knowing how much my daughter is costing me while we do the 'parents of the bride paying for the wedding' thing - there is an upside to now having a son instead lol!

Seriously though - your love for your child is unconditional and I wish you both every happiness for the future.

No-one ever says being a parent is easy.. but Iit is worth it.

Xxxxx"

Thanks rosie

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By *he mischiefsCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

Giggs ur doing the right thing already by being there & supporting ur children, good luck & I hope u find all the support u need xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Giggs ur doing the right thing already by being there & supporting ur children, good luck & I hope u find all the support u need xx"

thanks.I've had a message off a lovely lady who even rang me bless her

Shes gona help me get and find all the support I need.just wish I'd posted this along time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

Cheers prof

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By *arteeneWoman
over a year ago

aylesbury

"It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

Cheers prof

I would like to wish you both well it's not easy but just remember this life is to short and we should be who we want to be and with the loving support from you he will be ok xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

Cheers prof

I would like to wish you both well it's not easy but just remember this life is to short and we should be who we want to be and with the loving support from you he will be ok xxxxx"

It's getting easier but I still know there still so much hard work to be done..Thank you

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By *arteeneWoman
over a year ago

aylesbury

"It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

Cheers prof

I would like to wish you both well it's not easy but just remember this life is to short and we should be who we want to be and with the loving support from you he will be ok xxxxx

It's getting easier but I still know there still so much hard work to be done..Thank you

Your welcome I will always be hear if you need to talk xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It doesnt sound as if you need any advice on this you appear to be doing just fine and, I am glad you finaly have someone to talk and help you through this.

Cheers prof

I would like to wish you both well it's not easy but just remember this life is to short and we should be who we want to be and with the loving support from you he will be ok xxxxx

It's getting easier but I still know there still so much hard work to be done..Thank you

Your welcome I will always be hear if you need to talk xx"

cheers hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you can be is supportive .

Your son has had to make huge decisions . Well done for being so caring and understanding.

Good on you both and I hope everything goes ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All you can be is supportive .

Your son has had to make huge decisions . Well done for being so caring and understanding.

Good on you both and I hope everything goes ok.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Fab will allow reference to support groups online...

There is a good section supporting parents on Mermaidsuk - although that is aimed more at younger trans people.

Also good advice on Pflag - parents of lesbians and gays in the uk.

There are a whole host of support groups out there - worth searching for!

I hope that some of this may help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If Fab will allow reference to support groups online...

There is a good section supporting parents on Mermaidsuk - although that is aimed more at younger trans people.

Also good advice on Pflag - parents of lesbians and gays in the uk.

There are a whole host of support groups out there - worth searching for!

I hope that some of this may help.

Thank you..A lady has been very helpful and has given me some Web pages...but it's like a mind field and they all say different..I will have a look at the ones you have mentioned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a wonderful mother you are.

I hope your son's journey, and yours too, goes as best as possible.

Buck Angel is a Female to Male transgender - very inspirational.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giggs all u can say is as long as you accept it fuck anyone else who don't as long as she/he has got you by their side then everything will be ok xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks both...

update is he as now changed his name and i am getting use 2 the change...thinks seem alot better

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By *w72Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Thanks both...

update is he as now changed his name and i am getting use 2 the change...thinks seem alot better

xxx

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By *ig bird brightWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

I had a friend back from Coventry where I was from went from a female to male they call it ftm . If you want to message giggles and ask any question about his journey feel free xc

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By *arren e treggidenMan
over a year ago

pembroke dock wales

"Thank you all so much.

I have been wanting to write something for so long about transgender but didn't know how the forum would accept it so to speak...

The past 2 years have been the hardest but lucky I have 2 very supportive people in our lives who are there through the hard times.

I didn't do this as a poor me thread as people who know me already know what I've been going through.I am doing this to make people aware that it could be anyone going through this...

I love my kids unconditional and like many parents would support and be there for them like I am.

But we aren't all like that and my heart goes out to the kids that haven't got that communication with there family and have to hide who they are...everyone should be who or what that want to be...

"
yes love your kids without judgment i have a daughter who is lesbian male side in her relationship and i totally respect her wishes and support her in all she wants as long as she is happy what else matters shes never talked about trans gender i have a lot of friends who are going through or have changed its hard for them being trapped in the wrong body and think the nhs could do more to help them all best wishes and good luck to you both xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giggs - you must be so proud seeing your child on the ITV Wales news. He did a fabtastic job of making people aware

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a bloody stupid thing to do, outing somebodies kid on an open forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Giggs - you must be so proud seeing your child on the ITV Wales news. He did a fabtastic job of making people aware

I am and thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a bloody stupid thing to do, outing somebodies kid on an open forum.

She didn't out anyone

Everyone is fully aware that my child is trans and i am so proud of what he has achieved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair enough but it should have been your job to direct people to the fact first, discretion and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fair enough but it should have been your job to direct people to the fact first, discretion and all that. "

She actually asked if she could bump it up......

So maybe find out what's what before replying to something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fair enough but it should have been your job to direct people to the fact first, discretion and all that.

She actually asked if she could bump it up......

So maybe find out what's what before replying to something.

I'm sure my comment would have been all well and correct if they hadn't asked first and you didn't want your sons identity known to the site.

So no harm done on my side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well giggs i know you well and take my hat off to you, ignore the negative comments.....how many kids in the world are going through hell at the moment, alone and feelng rejected maybe ashamed, confused etc. I have met your family and dispite what the bitchy forums say i can say your a brill caring mum. Stand tall , the both of you deserve it. Xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant see any negative comments just the fact that someone is pointing out that everyone can find out her sons name by watching it ,I for one wouldn't want everyone on here knowing who my kids are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone can find out anyone on the net if they tried...ain't rocket science......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there you are then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not bitching but ffs, why can't some people praise instead of shooting down all the time.....we all have shit going on in our lives but lets be honest we all like a kind word regardless who it's off......

Just think the both of them are brave and i would hope most on here would do the same if in that position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where have I slated the situation?

I pointed out it was bloody stupid somebody disclosing the identity of somebodies son on here.

I wasn't to know they had permission.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I for one think what the young man did was courageous and took some doing on his part if he only helps one person who's in the same situation then it'll be worth it so good on him

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I for one think what the young man did was courageous and took some doing on his part if he only helps one person who's in the same situation then it'll be worth it so good on him

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I for one think what the young man did was courageous and took some doing on his part if he only helps one person who's in the same situation then it'll be worth it so good on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Point taken - but as a family friend i have had the pleasure of spending time with them all and know what they have all been through.

My comment was not in any way meant to cause Giggs and her family any upset. I'd spoken to Giggs who is rightly very proud.

I was very proud to watch it and know what a big deal it is to be the face of poster campaign and appear on national TV given the journey he has had.

I apologise for any upset my comment has caused. I shall get back in my box now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not bitching but ffs, why can't some people praise instead of shooting down all the time.....we all have shit going on in our lives but lets be honest we all like a kind word regardless who it's off......

Just think the both of them are brave and i would hope most on here would do the same if in that position."

I for one recognise that you were not bitching, and I agree that words of support are indeed encouraging, and in this case definitely deserved, however anyone on this site now knows the full name of a child of a Fab member where as before they didn't know they existed.

I'm not saying that Fab is full of weirdo's but would you really want to furnish all on the site with the full names of your children?

I also agree with your earlier statement that it isn't rocket science to find information about someone using the web, that information becomes far easier to glean when you're provided with a name of someone to look for, don't you agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was done as a awareness for people who are transgender.

My son is one of the lucky ones who does have a very support mum as myself.

Tonight after sitting and watching this his words to me where

"Mum if it helps one person then I am very happy".

I have never hid the fact that my son is trans and when I introduce him to friends it is as my son.

I am very lucky I have him as a few years ago I nearly lost him.

I do have posters and fliers that he has designed and fixer have helped publish so if anyone is able to put one up in work or out and about please feel free to message myself.

I for one am so proud of him and I support everything he does including wanting to speak out and helping others

Please don't turn it in2 another negative argumentative thread

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Brave and amazing, you must be so proud.

As you said, if it helps just one person then it's a good thing.

Kids of school age need educating. If this campaign gets them asking questions, it's a step closer to a better world.

Hugs giggs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most fab members are on face book, real names pics etc.... anyway giggs head high.....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

There is no need to tell someone who asked for discretion that they are being negative, he wasn't to know that discretion wasn't needed.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Having just watched the article, no wonder you are very proud of your child, he is a credit to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both my daughters know I'm on here, but I'd never divulge their names in any way, shape, or form, purely because I'd never want them to be put in any risk.

There are unfortunately some people that will exploit all means necessary to hurt others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must be very proud. A beautiful story and I can't believe how much your boy looks like you!!!! Lovely!!! Made my heart sing xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I havent seen the programme but have read this thread with interest. Loving mother who loves her son. Your child is your child whatever gender they are born and if they are born in the wrong body, help and love them and support them through it all. Lots of good wishes go to you and your lad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing stronger than a mothers love and support and the support to a mother from her children is just as strong, just be there for one another xxxx

#awesomemum

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By *onny-n-clydeCouple
over a year ago

cwmbran,

You are a true inspiration to all parents. My son is gay and thanks to us having a very open and close relationship he was able to "come out" to me at the age of 14, ( no surprise as I'd always known). Anyone growing up confused about their sexuality or gender, who has the love and support of a caring family can overcome any prejudice. I am extremely proud of my son as you obviously are of yours. Shame not everyone is lucky enough to have such a loving mum as you. Massive respect to you and best wishes to your son for a happy future living as the person he wants to be xx

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