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 . That being said though, it is definitely on new people to make introductions, it gives back what you put in. Yes some people stick in groups, as they are there to meet up with friends from the scene, but there will be opportunities to introduce yourself through the evening.
Confidence is key, even if false confidence. You may not meet playmates from the social, but you my meet friendly people who will verify you as genuine, and possibly introduce you to people at future events that may be more in line with what you are after.
Reading your profile (thread starter) you may be limited in a lot of socials due to seeking only F or FF couples, so you may have to seek to chat with other men and couples to seek verifications. That does not mean you want to play, just showing that you are genuine, verifications will come, and so will trust by people with it.
So, will say, be confident, turn up and look to interact and chat. Most chat is of the normal everyday stuff , so just think of it as a normal party/event, and if you click with someone that's a bonus. But they shouldn't be anything scary, just be normal and it will be okay, as long as you are willing to make an effort to start chatting. | |||
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"Male half here. Not going to lie it can be nerve wracking, even as a couple initially, but also have experience on the single route too. Hosts generally will meet and greet and depending on how busy it is, can give you some introductions. I know Ruby is often used as a friendly face by some organisers, as she is quite chatty . That being said though, it is definitely on new people to make introductions, it gives back what you put in. Yes some people stick in groups, as they are there to meet up with friends from the scene, but there will be opportunities to introduce yourself through the evening.
Confidence is key, even if false confidence. You may not meet playmates from the social, but you my meet friendly people who will verify you as genuine, and possibly introduce you to people at future events that may be more in line with what you are after.
Reading your profile (thread starter) you may be limited in a lot of socials due to seeking only F or FF couples, so you may have to seek to chat with other men and couples to seek verifications. That does not mean you want to play, just showing that you are genuine, verifications will come, and so will trust by people with it.
So, will say, be confident, turn up and look to interact and chat. Most chat is of the normal everyday stuff , so just think of it as a normal party/event, and if you click with someone that's a bonus. But they shouldn't be anything scary, just be normal and it will be okay, as long as you are willing to make an effort to start chatting."This...exactly this. | |||
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"Hi everyone 👋 I was wondering if any regular social attendees could give me a bit more of an insight to how they actually go ! I’ve always wanted to attend 1 but I lose all confidence of the idea because I’m a single (straight) male and the thought of potentially attending 1 and not knowing the ins and outs of the social scene scares me a little 🫣haha " As most people have said, don’t overthink it, just imagine you’re popping to the pub. People will talk to you, hosts will usually introduce you to regular attendees and you’ll feel welcomed. The best advice is to make conversation. However, be mindful that people being friendly and chatting to you is not necessarily a green light to play. Be brave, take the plunge and socials open up your swinging experience exponentially | |||
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"How does it work if someone wants to invite you to engage then ?All new this too me !if you feel the chat is going well do I ask them , Do I wait to be asked 1st ? Feels weird being a virgin (social virgin😂) All over again 🙈🤣🤣" For us we still find socials daunting. We don't get to enough of them often enough to keep up with the community and sometimes we find ourselves not knowing anyone besides the hosts. As a former single make on here I used to go and people knew me from the forums, so they were happy to initiate chat because of my former past behaviours. So just talking about it is a good start As for knowing if there is a green light, I can't offer you advice because I am as subtle as a brick thrown through a plate glass window. If we like someone and I feel like an opportunity could slip away, I will just bluntly ask and risk the potential of offending them. Seeing as we are mostly interested in single men joining us, it's usually a simple yes or no question. I have no idea about the intricacies with couples or single ladies but even so in the past I spotted a woman was very interested in some alone time with Lillia and again I was blunt, told her our room number and what do you know, not more than 10 minutes after we got to the room she was knocking on the door. So I don't know. But in general if you have a positive vibe, are willing to be patient and have manners respect and courtesy, you will be fine  .
-Lord. | |||
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"How does it work if someone wants to invite you to engage then ?All new this too me !if you feel the chat is going well do I ask them , Do I wait to be asked 1st ? Feels weird being a virgin (social virgin😂) All over again 🙈🤣🤣 For us we still find socials daunting. We don't get to enough of them often enough to keep up with the community and sometimes we find ourselves not knowing anyone besides the hosts. As a former single make on here I used to go and people knew me from the forums, so they were happy to initiate chat because of my former past behaviours. So just talking about it is a good start As for knowing if there is a green light, I can't offer you advice because I am as subtle as a brick thrown through a plate glass window. If we like someone and I feel like an opportunity could slip away, I will just bluntly ask and risk the potential of offending them. Seeing as we are mostly interested in single men joining us, it's usually a simple yes or no question. I have no idea about the intricacies with couples or single ladies but even so in the past I spotted a woman was very interested in some alone time with Lillia and again I was blunt, told her our room number and what do you know, not more than 10 minutes after we got to the room she was knocking on the door. So I don't know. But in general if you have a positive vibe, are willing to be patient and have manners respect and courtesy, you will be fine .
-Lord. "I love this advice thank you 😚 | |||
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"I go to a fair few socials locally to me! I’ve met some of my favourite people at them, it also helps to be less daunting if you join group chats that are there for set socials. You get to know everybody slightly before going too! " doesn’t that make the whole environment a bit clicky tho or are people still open minded when going to that social?? | |||
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"I go to a fair few socials locally to me! I’ve met some of my favourite people at them, it also helps to be less daunting if you join group chats that are there for set socials. You get to know everybody slightly before going too! doesn’t that make the whole environment a bit clicky tho or are people still open minded when going to that social??" Unfortunately you do get the odd one or two like that. However doesn’t always stem from the group chats. Most are very open minded and so lovely | |||
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"I go to a fair few socials locally to me! I’ve met some of my favourite people at them, it also helps to be less daunting if you join group chats that are there for set socials. You get to know everybody slightly before going too! doesn’t that make the whole environment a bit clicky tho or are people still open minded when going to that social??" It's clique. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I wasn't made to feel very welcoming when I went. I only spoke to guys, not with the intention of going any further with them, but because most the women there were surrounded by 2-3 blokes. If you're as confident as you say, you'd probably be ok to jump into people's conversations. It's something you should probably experience first hand. 👍🏻 | |||
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"I go to a fair few socials locally to me! I’ve met some of my favourite people at them, it also helps to be less daunting if you join group chats that are there for set socials. You get to know everybody slightly before going too! doesn’t that make the whole environment a bit clicky tho or are people still open minded when going to that social?? I think it majorly depends on the people running. I’ve heard good and bad, but all the ones I’ve been to have been so lovely so welcoming. Which I’m grateful for, I personally don’t have a bad word to say about any I’ve been to, but I do get it isn’t the same for everybody It's clique. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I wasn't made to feel very welcoming when I went. I only spoke to guys, not with the intention of going any further with them, but because most the women there were surrounded by 2-3 blokes. If you're as confident as you say, you'd probably be ok to jump into people's conversations. It's something you should probably experience first hand. 👍🏻" | |||
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"The way to being a successful single guy is to get to socials and talk to people. Don't sit in the corner like a mummy, get off your ass and chat to people. As for it being clicky, I totally disagree. People at socials are more than likely talking to others they already know, and you have to look at a social the same way as youd look at vanilla life. If you go to.a pub alone, is anyone going to go out of their way to talk to you ? No. Now if you start conversations at the bar etc sometimes you meet lots of new people. So treat any social the same way. The only added bonus of a social is that the organisers 9/10 times will make an effort to introduce you to new people on arrival. Newport do this very well "I'm just talking about my only experience at a social event. The hosts were amazing and introduced me and another guy to a table of women. We said hi, and chatted for a few minutes, before they all turned their backs on us and carried on talking in their little group. I guess the more you go to, the easier it'll become. I'm going to the Newport social next month, so I'll see how it differs from the other one. I don't want to sound negative or put people off them, but I'll always say it how it is. 👍🏻 | |||
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" I'm just talking about my only experience at a social event. The hosts were amazing and introduced me and another guy to a table of women. We said hi, and chatted for a few minutes, before they all turned their backs on us and carried on talking in their little group. I guess the more you go to, the easier it'll become. I'm going to the Newport social next month, so I'll see how it differs from the other one. I don't want to sound negative or put people off them, but I'll always say it how it is. 👍🏻" Personally I hope you do go, we're thinking strongly about going and you are someone that would be on our radar for a conversation. Totally inappropriate for me to say that as it's off-topic, however as a former forumite of questionable repute myself, I have admired the fact that you have put a lot of energy in the Wales forum and I have a curiosity about the person behind the postings. I can easily see a pint or two disappearing in the midst of good conversation. And that's the thing I have always tried to say to single guys, give people a positive reason to talk to you (not you personally but in general terms) and you will have people that 'know you' from the forums and introduce themselves. -Lord. | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. " So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩?? | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩??" Yeah, there's no fun to be had unless you arrange something for afterwards outside of the venue. | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩?? Yeah, there's no fun to be had unless you arrange something for afterwards outside of the venue. " Aww right ok so is there a type of venue that you can have potential fun there at the meet if all goes well? | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩?? Yeah, there's no fun to be had unless you arrange something for afterwards outside of the venue. Aww right ok so is there a type of venue that you can have potential fun there at the meet if all goes well?" There's a club in Newport, it's not somewhere I'd feel comfortable going. I'm sure there are people on this thread who can give you some info on it. | |||
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"So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩??" I am struggling to answer this with anything other than patronising bewilderment. But I will try because we were all new once. Socials are exactly what it says on the tin. Social events. In exactly the same way as any community group gets together anywhere for any reason. The only difference is that these are for people who are on the guest list from the swinging community. They happen in almost exclusively public venues where other people (including families) are and they happen frequently. Some events are fortunate to have a private space set aside by the venue, one or two hire private locations at a cost to the hosts. Fir this reason we can't have people starting to suck each other off in the middle of Wetherspoons (which one I won't share but I have been to socials in a 'Spoons) because Aunty Doris over there having her Friday fish and chips won't like it. If you want to go to events where play can happen spontaneously, you really really should be looking at attending clubs. Because unless you can behave in a public environment and take it back to a hotel room or someone's house, a social is a strictly sociable experience. I rewrote this about 6 times, it took a minute, apologies for the offence I might still have caused and for repeating what anyone else might have posted in the meantime. | |||
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"So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩?? I am struggling to answer this with anything other than patronising bewilderment. But I will try because we were all new once. Socials are exactly what it says on the tin. Social events. In exactly the same way as any community group gets together anywhere for any reason. The only difference is that these are for people who are on the guest list from the swinging community. They happen in almost exclusively public venues where other people (including families) are and they happen frequently. Some events are fortunate to have a private space set aside by the venue, one or two hire private locations at a cost to the hosts. Fir this reason we can't have people starting to suck each other off in the middle of Wetherspoons (which one I won't share but I have been to socials in a 'Spoons) because Aunty Doris over there having her Friday fish and chips won't like it. If you want to go to events where play can happen spontaneously, you really really should be looking at attending clubs. Because unless you can behave in a public environment and take it back to a hotel room or someone's house, a social is a strictly sociable experience. I rewrote this about 6 times, it took a minute, apologies for the offence I might still have caused and for repeating what anyone else might have posted in the meantime. " I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my naivety and incorrectness 😖 I’ll be honest I’m severely dyslexic so some times I will be honest when a comment is super long I will automatically miss certain sections I hate that I do it but unfortunately it’s a part of it 😖So I apologise x | |||
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"I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my naivety and incorrectness 😖 I’ll be honest I’m severely dyslexic so some times I will be honest when a comment is super long I will automatically miss certain sections I hate that I do it but unfortunately it’s a part of it 😖So I apologise x" I am not offended, I am just not sure how I can explain it any better with my own set of skills. I am often accused of using too many words so I will try to say it in as few as possible ; Socials = socialising. Making friends, acquaintances and catching up with people. No play at all apart from a snog perhaps. Clubs = socialising with the opportunity to spontaneously play if it works out. Good luck OP | |||
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"I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my naivety and incorrectness 😖 I’ll be honest I’m severely dyslexic so some times I will be honest when a comment is super long I will automatically miss certain sections I hate that I do it but unfortunately it’s a part of it 😖So I apologise x I am not offended, I am just not sure how I can explain it any better with my own set of skills. I am often accused of using too many words so I will try to say it in as few as possible ; Socials = socialising. Making friends, acquaintances and catching up with people. No play at all apart from a snog perhaps. Clubs = socialising with the opportunity to spontaneously play if it works out. Good luck OP "Thank you for understanding and being ‘patient’ with me 🙈Haha but i now understand the process ‘Fully’ and I am grateful for you taking your time (3 times 😬🙈😂) to help me understand 😌 | |||
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"Can just add that even in a swingers club, play is not guaranteed. The same social etiquette should ideally be adopted. As someone who attends the club in Newport often and hosts an event there it can be a common misconception that you pay your entry fee and automatically get sex. This is definitely not the case, attend with no exceptions to play, that way if you do - bonus! " ❤️ | |||
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"Never fails to amaze me how many people on the site can misintepret a social as anything other than that. If you want to play, look for venues in private clubs and or houses. Many of those will clearly state on the event listing whether there are rooms available for use. Most likely, you will need to be known by the host(s) or verified by someone....and this can be done by attending socials. See how that works? Good luck! " Yes your right and I’m so glad that I’ve done this post now and been educated by everyone before hand as it could have been quite a personal let down possibly entering the event with totally wrong understanding of how these meet and greets truly play out ! But this is a great example of why FAB have these type of forums. So great job FAB with this concept and thank you to everyone that has taken there time to educate this ‘social meet’ virgin haha x | |||
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"Can just add that even in a swingers club, play is not guaranteed. The same social etiquette should ideally be adopted. As someone who attends the club in Newport often and hosts an event there it can be a common misconception that you pay your entry fee and automatically get sex. This is definitely not the case, attend with no exceptions to play, that way if you do - bonus! " Expectations not exceptions… “shakes head for not proof reading “ lol | |||
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" I'm just talking about my only experience at a social event. The hosts were amazing and introduced me and another guy to a table of women. We said hi, and chatted for a few minutes, before they all turned their backs on us and carried on talking in their little group. I guess the more you go to, the easier it'll become. I'm going to the Newport social next month, so I'll see how it differs from the other one. I don't want to sound negative or put people off them, but I'll always say it how it is. 👍🏻 Personally I hope you do go, we're thinking strongly about going and you are someone that would be on our radar for a conversation. Totally inappropriate for me to say that as it's off-topic, however as a former forumite of questionable repute myself, I have admired the fact that you have put a lot of energy in the Wales forum and I have a curiosity about the person behind the postings. I can easily see a pint or two disappearing in the midst of good conversation. And that's the thing I have always tried to say to single guys, give people a positive reason to talk to you (not you personally but in general terms) and you will have people that 'know you' from the forums and introduce themselves. -Lord. " Happy to have a pint with you guys 👍🏻 | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩??" No such thing as a stupid question, we were all new once and you’ve done the right thing seeking clarification rather than potentially upsetting someone at a social. Just treat it as any other night out where you are getting to know new people and you’ll be fine. Yes people tend to stick to people they know as it’s their comfort zone but if you make the effort to chat to people you’ll find the vast majority are friendly and will make you feel welcome. Best piece of advice I can give is just don’t be a dick. Yes we are all swingers but for some this is the only opportunity they get to relax and take time away from personal lives, normal conversations are the way forward. | |||
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"We have been to a few socials and really enjoyed the experience. Honestly I would say just treat it like a pub visit when you get to speak to people who you know are like minded. That’s not a green light to say they all want to play with you or whatever but it’s good to see who you get to know. The hosts of Blackwood have been excellent making sure we got to speak to some different people and introductions. So I am getting the concept of a social wrong then🫣😬👀 I thought a social is where you all meet up in the arranged place , Then if you make that connection then you have a bit of fun with them at that venue there and then !?? Someone messaged me saying g that there social was just a meeting event and no fun happens 🫣😬😩?? No such thing as a stupid question, we were all new once and you’ve done the right thing seeking clarification rather than potentially upsetting someone at a social. Just treat it as any other night out where you are getting to know new people and you’ll be fine. Yes people tend to stick to people they know as it’s their comfort zone but if you make the effort to chat to people you’ll find the vast majority are friendly and will make you feel welcome. Best piece of advice I can give is just don’t be a dick. Yes we are all swingers but for some this is the only opportunity they get to relax and take time away from personal lives, normal conversations are the way forward. " Great advice 👌Cheers pal | |||
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