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Messaging etiquette

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

I totally appreciate that I'm not for most people but I send a polite introduction message and a couple of face pics in my initial messages. I can see that my message is unread and again realise that ladies imparticular got tons of messages so mine is probably lost in the masses. My question is should I message again given the people I've messaged haven't read mine or looked at my profile? Am I missing something where someone can preview my entire message and not respond if they choose? I don't want to waste mine or their time and I'm not gonna be one of those complete nimrods who think it's OK to be abusive, albeit even a 'no thanks' would be nice. Any advice would be great. Thanks 🫡

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By *highstrokerMan
14 weeks ago

West Wales

The sheer volume of single males on here these days means ladies and couples are indeed bombarded with messages, so they simply don’t have time to even acknowledge with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ (admin how about adding a button to do this?).

I understand your ‘should I try again’ thoughts and it is always tempting; I’ve done it myself. I think it’s all about timing, as occasionally a second message has received a reply. I’d certainly stop there though.

Of course, the lack of genuine FABbers out here also doesn’t help.

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire


"The sheer volume of single males on here these days means ladies and couples are indeed bombarded with messages, so they simply don’t have time to even acknowledge with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ (admin how about adding a button to do this?).

I understand your ‘should I try again’ thoughts and it is always tempting; I’ve done it myself. I think it’s all about timing, as occasionally a second message has received a reply. I’d certainly stop there though.

Of course, the lack of genuine FABbers out here also doesn’t help. "

Thanks _highstroker, appreciate your advice. I agree timing is everything. As it happens have seen just now that someone read a message I sent a few days. Now I know that if I get nothing back I'm not for them and will move on, no harm no foul.

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By *argoedBullMan
14 weeks ago

Bargoed/Haverfordwest

I've been guilty of couple messaging before and I've got to say it rarely leads anywhere.

My advice, and I'm not being mean or anything, is to improve your profile. Add a profile photo, remove the first couple of lines from your bio and remove the part about reply expectations, it comes across a bit passive aggressive.

More often than not its a numbers game on here. There must be hundreds of men to each woman and there are hundreds upon hundreds of men pretending to be women. The pool of people suitable for your "looking for", especially in Pembrokeshire, is going to be really really small. Perseverance is important!

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By *laytonAMan
14 weeks ago

Newport

Messages do drop off if the user has alot so some may never see your message. One of my friends on here posted a gorgeous pic of herself and had 1600 messages in 4 hrs.

I'm not aware you can read a message and it not be marked read. I've messaged people more than once but only after a long while on assumption first was lost, with varying degrees of response. Generally I would say don't message more than once is best etiquette.

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By *3xymamaWoman
14 weeks ago

Uptown Top Ranking

I wouldn't reply to you sorry. You don't have any pictures visible and your profile text doesn't read that well. The previous poster is right, that you do come across as passive aggressive and I wouldn't reply for that reason

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By *hatgymthiccgirlWoman
14 weeks ago

x curvykgirl

OP your profile is rude and frankly comes across as gruff and aggressive.

You literally show nothing of yourself publicly, that combined with your awful profile text and using fab to cheat on your wife/girlfriend smacks of misogyny.

There are literally thousands of single males on Fab, most have considered the tone of their profile or at least showing their looks (as after all it’s a swinging website people need to be physically attracted to each other.)

If I post a public photo of my top half undressed I can get 15k views to my profile in a day, maybe 2000 messages, I’m guessing a lot of women who you’ve messaged have a similar experience on Fab and therefore you’re on to a losing game…

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

Thanks all for the advice/feedback so far. I'll definitely review my profile - passive/aggressive is absolutely not me and not what I want to come across as.

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By *ovis and GreeneyesCouple
14 weeks ago

Swansea

It's a numbers game on here for single male, best advice is to read profiles if you think you match then message, if your not even close to what the person / couple is looking for then don't bother with a message.

If its a couple your messaging then aim the message to both partys not just the female (we get this a lot).

Socials and clubs are the best way to meet people that way they know they are genuine & you know they are, as others have said there are so many fake profiles on here now it's just not good for single males.

Oh and if you do repeat message that write a new on not just copy and paste (had 5 from 1 male every week all exctally the same).

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire


"It's a numbers game on here for single male, best advice is to read profiles if you think you match then message, if your not even close to what the person / couple is looking for then don't bother with a message.

If its a couple your messaging then aim the message to both partys not just the female (we get this a lot).

Socials and clubs are the best way to meet people that way they know they are genuine & you know they are, as others have said there are so many fake profiles on here now it's just not good for single males.

Oh and if you do repeat message that write a new on not just copy and paste (had 5 from 1 male every week all exctally the same). "

Thanks Hovis & Greeneyes, appreciate you coming back to me 👍

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By *eroLondonMan
14 weeks ago

Covent Garden

Dear OP, having a blank avatar isn't going to help your cause, let alone the omission of some appealing/enticing photographs.

Lots of women on here have admitted previously on similar threads that they often look at the profile without even opening the message. If nothing piques their interest then they just move on, leave it unread, leave it festering in their inbox like an unwanted orphan until they summarily delete it at a later date.

One final thing: I suggest you get rid of that legal disclaimer at the bottom of your profile. It's pointless, superfluous and smacks of gullibility.

Best of luck dear chap.

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire


"Dear OP, having a blank avatar isn't going to help your cause, let alone the omission of some appealing/enticing photographs.

Lots of women on here have admitted previously on similar threads that they often look at the profile without even opening the message. If nothing piques their interest then they just move on, leave it unread, leave it festering in their inbox like an unwanted orphan until they summarily delete it at a later date.

One final thing: I suggest you get rid of that legal disclaimer at the bottom of your profile. It's pointless, superfluous and smacks of gullibility.

Best of luck dear chap."

Many thanks Nerolondon 👍

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By *enelope_Dick_StopWoman
14 weeks ago

Cowbridge

Have to agree here. Your profile needs improvement. And the amount of messages we get as women is disgusting honestly it's like a part time job!

We don't have a chance to read them all but I know for me personally blank photos get instantly deleted.

Also if your cheating on your wife your going to alienate a large population of women on here.

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

[Removed by poster at 22/08/24 10:50:18]

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire


"Have to agree here. Your profile needs improvement. And the amount of messages we get as women is disgusting honestly it's like a part time job!

We don't have a chance to read them all but I know for me personally blank photos get instantly deleted.

Also if your cheating on your wife your going to alienate a large population of women on here. "

Thanks for your advice Penelope. I take on board the profile photo need and totally appreciate that my domestic situation is going to put a lot off👍

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By *iscean_dreamMan
14 weeks ago

Llanelli


"I totally appreciate that I'm not for most people but I send a polite introduction message and a couple of face pics in my initial messages. I can see that my message is unread and again realise that ladies imparticular got tons of messages so mine is probably lost in the masses. My question is should I message again given the people I've messaged haven't read mine or looked at my profile? Am I missing something where someone can preview my entire message and not respond if they choose? I don't want to waste mine or their time and I'm not gonna be one of those complete nimrods who think it's OK to be abusive, albeit even a 'no thanks' would be nice. Any advice would be great. Thanks 🫡"

I'd not keep messaging, my fwb gets messages all the time from people she's never spoken to and yet they still keep messaging.

If they wanted to talk then I'm sure they would have.

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By *ijoe2216 OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire


"I totally appreciate that I'm not for most people but I send a polite introduction message and a couple of face pics in my initial messages. I can see that my message is unread and again realise that ladies imparticular got tons of messages so mine is probably lost in the masses. My question is should I message again given the people I've messaged haven't read mine or looked at my profile? Am I missing something where someone can preview my entire message and not respond if they choose? I don't want to waste mine or their time and I'm not gonna be one of those complete nimrods who think it's OK to be abusive, albeit even a 'no thanks' would be nice. Any advice would be great. Thanks 🫡

I'd not keep messaging, my fwb gets messages all the time from people she's never spoken to and yet they still keep messaging.

If they wanted to talk then I'm sure they would have. "

Thanks Piscean Dream 👍

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By *ecretgarden69Woman
14 weeks ago

Swansea

The fact you are married and cheating will probably put most people off sorry. Maybe talk to your partner, you might be surprised they might be happy to join you.

The socials are also a good place to get yourself known.

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