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Very curious but slightly nervous

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all, so I've been on here a number of years for genuine reasons.

I'm married with children however the spark that once existed no longer remains and we're just close friends who are a parent unit.

I use this site to retain a side of an adventurous personality I once had and save myself from being that guy who would just sit at the pond to feed ducks or something.

I love that side of my personality and will never give it up.

At the same time, I can't bring myself to separate the family unit.

That's my story and now onto the point. I'm very curious about the clubs and hear how wonderful the people I'm told are and how it's such a welcoming community in addition to the huge amount of real fun people have there.

I'm nervous about people who may not respect the confidentiality of attending (if there is such a thing) regardless of the reasons such as mine and worry that if there's someone there who knows me or my other half and will knowingly make things difficult and destroy my ability to retain the great confidence I have in everything else.

Can any genuine people offer any advice on what it's regarding the confidentiality in the clubs?

I met someone last night and she is someone I could get along with really well and we both have a mutual situation although hers has developed more than I have where she doesn't need to be concerned. I would love us to go as a fwb couple and if it doesn't work out, would love to continue attending to be amongst you people.

Thanks for reading.

Happy fabbing

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By *urious-couple33Couple
over a year ago

Wales/ Tenerife

You should just be honest with your wife.

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By *ory_xWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way Syndey


"You should just be honest with your wife. "

100%

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon

We aren't here to judge, everyone is here for different reasons... but that sounds like a whole lot to worry about and will likely be exhausting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not judging at all... If you've *both* accepted that the relationship has ended, and you're only together as a parental unit, you should have no worries being open and honest about wanting to explore this part of your life. It doesn't mean to say it's easy. Of course it isn't. But the sense of relief/freedom you'll feel once it's out there, will feel much better than worrying and lying surely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We haven't agreed that we're just a parental unit but no matter how much we've tried to sort things through, she doesn't seem to want to fight for it or tell me what she wants.

I must admit that it's getting to that stage but I'm not ready yet nor do I want to put fab off until God knows when. To do so would just ruin all confidence and I would forget that part of my personality which contrary to others opinions, I like it and it gives me confidence.

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By *issesNCwtchesMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

I say be open and honest. This is after all she is the mother of your children.

If she to thinks there is no more to your physical relationship, then it's best for you both to part ways. So you can both get on with your lives.

It's hard to live a lie.

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By *almprintsWoman
over a year ago

deepest, darkest West

I see eveyone has commented on your marriage but not the question you actually want answered.

If you go to a club, and you run into someone in your vanilla life, by chance, two ways you can handle it: say hello amd have a chat Or pretend you never saw them.

Most people are grown ups and don't want to cause an issue. Usually i view it as mutually assured destruction. For them to tell you were about with someone else, they'd have to explain how they knew. Go to the club, enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/10/23 00:26:46]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And you would be the most genuine fabber in my eyes right now. Someone who recognises the roots of this whole site and understand people's circumstances, needs and the rule and consequence of discretion. If we're in a club together, I'm definitely having a bevvy with you! Xx

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By *eepndarkMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

That's my attitude. MAD comes into play as my guess is the majority of people who he knows are married. Some women don't want you but don't want you with anyone else either hence probably why this guy is in limbo.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Hi all, so I've been on here a number of years for genuine reasons.

"

I am trying to think of a fake reason someone would be on here !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see eveyone has commented on your marriage but not the question you actually want answered.

If you go to a club, and you run into someone in your vanilla life, by chance, two ways you can handle it: say hello amd have a chat Or pretend you never saw them.

Most people are grown ups and don't want to cause an issue. Usually i view it as mutually assured destruction. For them to tell you were about with someone else, they'd have to explain how they knew. Go to the club, enjoy yourself. "

Well said, go be you & explore its not for us to moralise, but it is for you to live with your conscience if you do lose this path.

In my experience no one checks the marital status of those they causally bump into at a club, in the jacuzzi or a playroom X

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By *heoriginalCJMan
over a year ago

mystic valley

In my experience it doesn't matter if you run into someone you know, as they are there for the same reasons as you and you shouldn't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/10/23 00:08:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, so I've been on here a number of years for genuine reasons.

I am trying to think of a fake reason someone would be on here ! "

We can think of plenty of fakes. Catfish types, pic collectors, fantasists, time wasters, guys pretending to be couples or females, the list goes on and on.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

One thing I've come to realise over the past few years is that life is too short and fragile to not go after what will make you happy.

As for the original question, it depends. We've been in a club and spotted the company loudmouth across the bar. They were always very open about their sex life and had namedropped people they'd slept with in the past. They would 100% have outed us if they'd spotted us so we made a sharp exit.

Generally, tho, everyone we've met has been doing it in private and wouldn't want to be outed. You never know who you'll run into at a club tho.

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Feel for you mate, awful situation without any "correct" answer.

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