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Isn't swinging meant to be inclusive

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I only ask because I send a polite non pushy, message to a couple whjo are looking for a male or 2 males to see if they fancied meeting a friend of mine and I.

My message opened with: "Hello both" and closed with "of course couples are welcome in this scenario"

This is the response:

"Do you actually read the profiles?!?!? I'm not a single female! Get a grip you freak."

Along with a block prior to my having the opportunity to ask them to read the message and tell me where it refers to a "single woman"

I don't get it, it seems like people are so quick to be judgemental and leap to unfounded conclusions, given as this is a "swinging" site then I find it absurd to take this attitude.

Don't get me wrong I know a lot of couples and single women get dog's abuse of errant blokes, but I was nothing more than polite and this is the response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree with you it costs nothing to be polite and friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take no notice some people just can't help being ignorant

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By *etlinkMan
over a year ago

cardiff


"Take no notice some people just can't help being ignorant "

Keep being polite mate. Ignore ignorant and rude people. Ive had lots of similar experiences, but i always keep it polite and have met lots of lovely people too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just look at it as a lucky escape from possibly meeting someone who's a bit of a liability!

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By *ayseanMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

People of this nature are not worth your time anyway dude,forget them+carry on being yourself,good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't swinging meant to be inclusive? No people will take what they want out of it, so it doesn’t mean everyone will like everything or have the same preferences as other people.

As for the "Do you actually read the profiles?!?!? I'm not a single female! Get a grip you freak."

Maybe it was a little abrupt and uncalled for but we are only getting your side of the story and you don’t go into the body of the message for all we know you could have requested something that was repulsive to them so the response may have been justified.

Then you say “Along with a block prior to my having the opportunity to ask them to read the message and tell me where it refers to a "single woman"

They most likely the lady blocked you before you could send another message. I don’t get why you would want to send another message pointing where it refers to a "single woman". That in my opinion would only infuriate them more.

“I don't get it, it seems like people are so quick to be judgemental and leap to unfounded conclusions, given as this is a "swinging" site then I find it absurd to take this attitude”

Yes it is a swinging site but the above statement, I think may be your problem, it’s a swingers site not a “You’ll do what I’m into site”. I would say the majority of people on here are fairly open regarding sex but there are limits some will not cross. Some people are very judgmental and if they want to have an attitude or disagree with someone’s viewpoint then let them and move on.

Posting in the forums about being given some attitude and a one sided story does you no favours, accept that they may not be interested and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn't swinging meant to be inclusive? No people will take what they want out of it, so it doesn’t mean everyone will like everything or have the same preferences as other people.

As for the "Do you actually read the profiles?!?!? I'm not a single female! Get a grip you freak."

Maybe it was a little abrupt and uncalled for but we are only getting your side of the story and you don’t go into the body of the message for all we know you could have requested something that was repulsive to them so the response may have been justified.

Then you say “Along with a block prior to my having the opportunity to ask them to read the message and tell me where it refers to a "single woman"

They most likely the lady blocked you before you could send another message. I don’t get why you would want to send another message pointing where it refers to a "single woman". That in my opinion would only infuriate them more.

“I don't get it, it seems like people are so quick to be judgemental and leap to unfounded conclusions, given as this is a "swinging" site then I find it absurd to take this attitude”

Yes it is a swinging site but the above statement, I think may be your problem, it’s a swingers site not a “You’ll do what I’m into site”. I would say the majority of people on here are fairly open regarding sex but there are limits some will not cross. Some people are very judgmental and if they want to have an attitude or disagree with someone’s viewpoint then let them and move on.

Posting in the forums about being given some attitude and a one sided story does you no favours, accept that they may not be interested and move on

"

Well said that man, respect as always shame there are not a few more like minded adults using this site. (Steel)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

with total respect to saphire and steel, and to trumpton, there really was nothing untoward there, even if there was well hey I get some pretty eyebrow raising messages but it doesn't seem worth responding either negatively or positively a simple "no thanks" is always well received right?

At no point was there the premise of "you must be into what I'm into" etc, more a "if this scenario is of interest to you feel free to get in touch". And seriously, rebuttals and refusals are part of life, I am certainly not being precious, I just come from the school of thought that if what you are messaging someone is not something you would say to a stranger without risking a reaction you would not like, then simply don't write it, manners after all are free.

In terms of responding with the very fair request to ask where I had referred to a couple as a single surely cannot be interpreted as an intent to wind them up, merely to ask them a polite question and to p[otentially reajust their potentially misguided opinion of me.

In short good manners are free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you are all right about manners but at this present time we do seem to have an influx of single males who belive that couples and single fems are to be picked at like bits of meat on a rack !

I cannot understand why posting in the forum to moan about being turned down, blocked, and repeat messaging, is a good thing

In real vanilla life im sure that if you were rejected by a subtle "fu*k off" you would shrug it off and move on ?

Come on fellas its the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes you are all right about manners but at this present time we do seem to have an influx of single males who belive that couples and single fems are to be picked at like bits of meat on a rack !

I cannot understand why posting in the forum to moan about being turned down, blocked, and repeat messaging, is a good thing

In real vanilla life im sure that if you were rejected by a subtle "fu*k off" you would shrug it off and move on ?

Come on fellas its the same thing "


" In terms of responding with the very fair request to ask where I had referred to a couple as a single surely cannot be interpreted as an intent to wind them up, merely to ask them a polite question and to p[otentially reajust their potentially misguided opinion of me.

In short good manners are free"

It may be a fair request but where is the politeness and respect and manners that you say others should reflect.

Why can you not show that politeness and accept that they have already made their minds up that they do not want to meet, no matter how many messages you would have sent to "readjust" their thinking it would have ended in a block regardless.

On a side note posting in the forums and complaining (which you have every right to do) shows absolutely no respect to their decision, granted you have not named them but I can bet they have read the post

In short good manners are free so is respect

Trumpton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers prof...thats what i meant to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

unbelivable how some people just play with words, is this to try make themselves more appealing ? why not just keep it simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I'll be good

why am i even bothering to explain zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had same reaction to my politness the other day!! was even called a xxxx. i dont get some couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe it or not but single fem's also get abused and blocked if politely refusing a meet.......... i call it a lucky escape

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

To the OP, a long time ago I emailed a couple basically introducing myself and stating intent, to which I got the reply "Sorry, we don't meet asians".

I never realised my parents were asian.

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