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Going to my first social......very nervous about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I am booked to attend the Swansea social on the 10th of February and it has me both excited and nervous.

As I have suffered with anxiety in the past. I was wondering if there are others out there that have been in this situation before and how did you manage it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials are not to be feared. Yes it’s meeting strangers but it’s nothing like you expect.

Whole point is to be social. Most land up talking about sex, jokes, etc. just put your 2p worth in however much you might think prior that it’s daunting.

Most experienced social event hosts will also pick up on nerves and include you in talk etc or at least talk to you.

After your first social you’ll wonder why you were ever anxious.

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By *ord MarmiteMan
over a year ago

BRIDGEND

Best advice I can give to someone on their first (major) social event, is let the host(ess) know that you are breaking your virginity about such things and they will do the rest at first. They will point you in the general direction of people who are capable of breaking the ice for you, just because the people they pointed out to you are nice people overall.

After that, it is up to you. Please do not talk about sex or swinging or anything at all to do with Fab apart from maybe hilarious stories and anecdotes you have to share once you have established some kind of rapport.

A social is EXACTLY that, a chance for people to share their open mindedness and to interact with others and it be based purely on conversation alone. Some conversations are on the same wavelengths. Some are not, and the participants will move on to other conversations with other people.

The important thing to remember is that everyone there is a member of this site and so everyone at least has a common background. But just like we are all human beings, it doesn't make us all compatible. So just talk about anything other than sex, anything other than swinging, anything other than fantasies. Until you get invited to continue the chat after a normal 'break point' of conversation, eg 'I'm going to the ladies', or 'We are/I am going for a smoke', or 'We just had our babysitter call'.

Treat it like any other pub, but perhaps with even more respect because sometimes we only get invited once.

And always remember, you practically always will never be the only person that feels that way when you walk through the door the first time. So maybe talk to other people who look just as nervous as you feel, about literally anything other than Fab. Because you will help both of you feel better for 5 minutes which could be the difference between how you feel your evening went.

-Build me a fecking Church. Lord out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer with anxiety and actual hosted a successful daytime social for several years

Socials are cool

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

[Removed by poster at 23/01/22 21:51:38]

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By *ord MarmiteMan
over a year ago

BRIDGEND


"[Removed by poster at 23/01/22 21:51:38]"

Thanks. Remind me to buy you a beer when we are at the same bar next time .

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Edit ***

Short version of Lord's post

Fake it til you make it!!!

Walk through the door with a big smile on your face, make eye contact and say hello

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"[Removed by poster at 23/01/22 21:51:38]

Thanks. Remind me to buy you a beer when we are at the same bar next time . "

MissP got in the way

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By *ord MarmiteMan
over a year ago

BRIDGEND


"Edit ***

Short version of Lord's post

Fake it til you make it!!!

Walk through the door with a big smile on your face, make eye contact and say hello "

I saw the original version and the offer still remains .

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By *ord MarmiteMan
over a year ago

BRIDGEND


"MissP got in the way "

MissP NEVER gets in the way

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"Edit ***

Short version of Lord's post

Fake it til you make it!!!

Walk through the door with a big smile on your face, make eye contact and say hello

I saw the original version and the offer still remains .

"

Why thank you kind sir

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By *ord MarmiteMan
over a year ago

BRIDGEND


"Edit ***

Why thank you kind sir "

Hilariously, too old for you. Apparently I don't need to show my Bus Pass at the bar these days.

------------''

But yeah, please don't be nervous. There will always be people feeling exactly like you. So spot them and talk to them, about anything that would make you feel yourself feel at ease if you could hear yourself speak. The rest is gravy .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Best advice I can give to someone on their first (major) social event, is let the host(ess) know that you are breaking your virginity about such things and they will do the rest at first. They will point you in the general direction of people who are capable of breaking the ice for you, just because the people they pointed out to you are nice people overall.

After that, it is up to you. Please do not talk about sex or swinging or anything at all to do with Fab apart from maybe hilarious stories and anecdotes you have to share once you have established some kind of rapport.

A social is EXACTLY that, a chance for people to share their open mindedness and to interact with others and it be based purely on conversation alone. Some conversations are on the same wavelengths. Some are not, and the participants will move on to other conversations with other people.

The important thing to remember is that everyone there is a member of this site and so everyone at least has a common background. But just like we are all human beings, it doesn't make us all compatible. So just talk about anything other than sex, anything other than swinging, anything other than fantasies. Until you get invited to continue the chat after a normal 'break point' of conversation, eg 'I'm going to the ladies', or 'We are/I am going for a smoke', or 'We just had our babysitter call'.

Treat it like any other pub, but perhaps with even more respect because sometimes we only get invited once.

And always remember, you practically always will never be the only person that feels that way when you walk through the door the first time. So maybe talk to other people who look just as nervous as you feel, about literally anything other than Fab. Because you will help both of you feel better for 5 minutes which could be the difference between how you feel your evening went.

-Build me a fecking Church. Lord out "

Amen your holiness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I suffer with anxiety and actual hosted a successful daytime social for several years

Socials are cool

"

Been off the market for 16years so this is all new and scary to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffer with anxiety and actual hosted a successful daytime social for several years

Socials are cool

Been off the market for 16years so this is all new and scary to me. "

You'll be fine

Everyone's cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffer with anxiety and actual hosted a successful daytime social for several years

Socials are cool

"

Neath social for the return - for one day only!

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales


"Edit ***

Why thank you kind sir

Hilariously, too old for you. Apparently I don't need to show my Bus Pass at the bar these days.

------------''

But yeah, please don't be nervous. There will always be people feeling exactly like you. So spot them and talk to them, about anything that would make you feel yourself feel at ease if you could hear yourself speak. The rest is gravy . "

There will always be exception to the rule, on both ends of the scale

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By *inkypair40-SocialsCouple
over a year ago

newport


"So I am booked to attend the Swansea social on the 10th of February and it has me both excited and nervous.

As I have suffered with anxiety in the past. I was wondering if there are others out there that have been in this situation before and how did you manage it. "
I will be there and talk you to sleep, so don’t be nervous, just be worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I am booked to attend the Swansea social on the 10th of February and it has me both excited and nervous.

As I have suffered with anxiety in the past. I was wondering if there are others out there that have been in this situation before and how did you manage it. I will be there and talk you to sleep, so don’t be nervous, just be worried "

Take that literal

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By *inkypair40-SocialsCouple
over a year ago

newport


"So I am booked to attend the Swansea social on the 10th of February and it has me both excited and nervous.

As I have suffered with anxiety in the past. I was wondering if there are others out there that have been in this situation before and how did you manage it. I will be there and talk you to sleep, so don’t be nervous, just be worried

Take that literal "

Don’t you mean literally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I am booked to attend the Swansea social on the 10th of February and it has me both excited and nervous.

As I have suffered with anxiety in the past. I was wondering if there are others out there that have been in this situation before and how did you manage it. I will be there and talk you to sleep, so don’t be nervous, just be worried

Take that literal

Don’t you mean literally "

Definitely literal - adjective, as it was wrote.

Three brains on this one. Two lower mid body and one above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the invite sent out from the Swansea social i put a telephone number on it so people can call to havr someone (usually me) meet them outside snd introduce them to a few chatty people.

Its a good socialfor newbies x

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By *jolnir85Man
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"Edit ***

Short version of Lord's post

Fake it til you make it!!!

Walk through the door with a big smile on your face, make eye contact and say hello "

Absolutely the best approach. Had my first social the last week and I did just that. Didn’t want to be sat in a corner on my own so I just went round the tables and introduced myself to everyone. They were all a friendly and welcoming bunch of people and it’s made me feel more confident about attending more socials. Already booked in for the next one.

I’ve spent quite a few years trying to get over my anxiety and depression. This year I thought, enough is enough. Gonna grab 2022 by the horns and ride that bitch right through to next year... and beyond I hope.

Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Many thanks for the advice everyone. I am looking forward to it, need to get out and meet more people in life. Don't get to see many people other than the guys I work with.

I see people booking hotels (don't know if this is the protocol) and personally I can't be doing that as I have to go home to look after my son in the evening. As he worries about me being out late.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the invite sent out from the Swansea social i put a telephone number on it so people can call to havr someone (usually me) meet them outside snd introduce them to a few chatty people.

Its a good socialfor newbies x "

I sent you a PM Ceri.

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

One bit of advice I'd give is if you can't attend for whatever reason (you don't have to explain yourself) then make sure you message the organisers so they know. Some of the socials can only take so many and there are waiting lists. You'll be thought better of for letting people know

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