FabSwingers.com forum: CLUB Ettiquete

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With the weekend finally here and lots of new fresh faces thinking about going to clubs for the first time this weekend, I thought it might be useful to give you some tips on club etiquette. Please feel free to join in with your advice and or experience.

Here goes...

Firstly, congratulations on making the big step to the wonderful world of swinging clubs. They are a lot of fun but don't be fooled, sex is not guaranteed especially for single guys and unless you want to be banned RESPECT IS KEY.

1. NO TOUCHING!!! This may sound stupid but hear me out. Clubs are designed for like minded people in the lifestyle to meet up and socialise in a safe environment. Unless you are given permission, DONT TOUCH anyone. It may seem inviting when a couple are going at it right next to you but always ask permission first. If they say yes, good effort but remember to be respectful. Don't do a Trump and grab her by the pussy unless you want a few missing teeth after. Just like day to day life, CONSENT IS REQUIRED, just because its in a club doesn't mean it isn't the r word. Respect everyone.

2. BOUNDARIES!!! We all get a bit lost in the moment sometimes but defining clear boundaries is the best way to have a good time. Ask what each other like, dislike or want to try. If it ain't on the happy list, don't do it. Once again it is all about consent, ensure that if you are gonna try doing something new, that everyone is happy with it. If not, move on.

3. DOORS!!! Bit of a random one this but alot of guys seem to forget it. If you are doing the rounds and seeing what is about and you see a closed door... leave it. Doors are a way of invitation. If a door is closed it means the people in it want to be left alone. Don't try and break it down. If a door is open, that is usually an indication that they are inviting people to join in. If that's the case, refer to my previous 2 steps. If you do happen to enter a room with people playing, be respectful. Some couples love being watched and will be putting on a show for you but always ask permission first.

4. COHERENCE!!! Need abit of Dutch courage to go into a club? That's fine, but necking a bottle of vodka isn't going to help you. If you are going to drink before hand just remember that although you may seem fine, other people may perceive you differently. Also you want to be able to remember all the lovely people you meet so sometimes less is more. Trust me when I say that no-one is impressed by your 12 pints and still get a hard on routine.

HYGEINE!!! Unless you are attending a specialist night, make sure your hygiene is on top form. Lads, no lady wants a smelly cock waved in their faces let alone in their mouth. Make sure you wash before and after any activities. Their are showers everywhere in clubs for this exact reason.

CONDOMS!!! Most places sell them for dirt cheap, if you are going to play with new people, ask them if they play safe, if it's a yes then chuck a pillow case on regardless of "whether or not you like them." This is about keeping safe and ensuring that the fun can continue. Also if you know you have an STI then make sure you tell the other person. It's also a good idea to get tested every once and a while. Their are websites you can order to your door.

Most importantly remember that Swinging Clubs are not "fuck me now" clubs. They are by design their for people to meet, socialise and be safe. Playing is an added bonus. Be respectful to each other and you are more likely to be invited to a room.

Have I missed anything?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkfluffyunicornWoman
over a year ago

newport

Keys!! This may be just my pet hate but I really hate the jangle of the locker key when playing with someone.

We often invite people to watch and there is nothing more off putting that hearing that key jangle when a guy is having a play with himself while watching! Put it on your ankle please!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keys!! This may be just my pet hate but I really hate the jangle of the locker key when playing with someone.

We often invite people to watch and there is nothing more off putting that hearing that key jangle when a guy is having a play with himself while watching! Put it on your ankle please!

Yes!!! I have a little makeup bag with essentials in that I put my key in. It is really off putting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

What are the specialist events where hygiene is unimportant ?

I'm not sure anyone would want to play with someone who had just told them they had a STI. Should they be playing at all ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are the specialist events where hygiene is unimportant ?

I'm not sure anyone would want to play with someone who had just told them they had a STI. Should they be playing at all ?"

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all. Goes without saying in terms of STI's but always better to be honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all."

I'm trying to think what the event would be called

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all.

I'm trying to think what the event would be called"

Oh it is def a thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pples123456Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all.

I'm trying to think what the event would be called

Oh it is def a thing. "

It's called Olfactophilia

(Body odours)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's called Olfactophilia

(Body odours)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumping this, it needs to stay high in the forum list for males to read as it is stirling advice.

Also, about collars. Some ladies will be wearing a collar. This is usually a visual signal of consented ownership. Yes we are in 2021 but for some people, there is still a sexual edge that comes from being owned by someone, or owning someone. The person who put the collar on has final say in almost everything that can or may happen whilst the collar is worn.

Also, if a gangbang/pulling a train scenario is happening and you are invited to participate, don't hog the show. If you are asked to allow the next person to participate, you should stop playing immediately even if you haven't 'finished' as much as you want to. You are their guest, after all. Don't be offended by a refusal to participate either. Even if a lady has had sex with 5 guys in a row in front of you, it is still always her right to say no to someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imandHer9396Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Oh I love this thread!

Yes, yes and yes!

And if you are uncomfortable, harassed, or genuinely lost, ask the staff!! They don't mind questions, and you are not a grass! Keep eachother safe, andif you see something, say something!

The alcohol thing...nothing worse than having your eye on someone and seeing him slumped at the bar. Trust me.

Her x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *3xymamaWoman
over a year ago

Uptown Top Ranking

A lot of people see Chams as somewhere to get absolutely bladdered by taking their own alcohol. There's nothing more off putting than really inebriated people in a club. I'm sure they don't realise how vulnerable they leave themselves too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And…. No means No!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some great advice in this thread.

Can I just add that if you are a single male attending, please try to interact with people.

I see many men week after week just wandering around like zombies not speaking to anyone or attempting to interact. This is so off-putting to many people.

Oh and the key thing is easy to solve, just get yourself a glasses protection bag that will hold your key and your condoms/rings etc and it's small enough to carry in the palm of your hand or tuck in your towel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is amazing especially as it's my first time soon!

Thank you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r sugarandspiceMan
over a year ago

Wales

Excellent tips

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *km1Man
over a year ago

Swansea

I’m still trying to pluck up the courage for my first visit! Great tips on here though guys. Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is spot on and such a shame you can’t pin important forum posts to the top. Everyone thinking of attending or has attended a club should read these.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rrocknroll59Man
over a year ago

Newport

Well said,I've been to Chams a few time,some single guys ruin it for others,I have never gone there and be expected to get laid,or the ruin other peoples fun,and as for knocking on closed/locked doors same goes for the glory holes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatalovelypairCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Great Post.

Sorry to ask if its elsewhere in the forum.

Couples. Are they better to attend a certain night?

And what's the dress code?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great Post.

Sorry to ask if its elsewhere in the forum.

Couples. Are they better to attend a certain night?

And what's the dress code? "

Couples with straight males it’s better on Fridays from our experience, but both are decent nights. Dress code is lingerie or towel for women, shorts/towel for men x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hatalovelypairCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Great Post.

Sorry to ask if its elsewhere in the forum.

Couples. Are they better to attend a certain night?

And what's the dress code?

Couples with straight males it’s better on Fridays from our experience, but both are decent nights. Dress code is lingerie or towel for women, shorts/towel for men x"

Thank you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust him and herCouple
over a year ago

Colwyn Bay

We take a little ‘shag bag’ stocked with plenty of condoms of different sizes, lube, hair bands, small pack of wipes etc. Wouldn’t be without it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all.

I'm trying to think what the event would be called"

Cheese festival

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eachesAndCream99Couple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

What a great post. Wish we had seen something like this before our first time. I suppose we were lucky though to have been shown the ropes but not everyone is as lucky and it’s difficult to know what to and what not to do as a club newbie.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all.

I'm trying to think what the event would be called

Cheese festival "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a great post. Wish we had seen something like this before our first time. I suppose we were lucky though to have been shown the ropes but not everyone is as lucky and it’s difficult to know what to and what not to do as a club newbie.

It was my pleasure

Excellent thread! Wish everyone would read and take note

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumping for the weekend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/10/21 19:01:39]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Helpful post , we hope to pluck up the courage to go. I think it would be good to know the main rule though. Would the male be overdressed in a t shirt and shorts? The wife would be fine in her underwear, but I'm no six pack, more low end dad bod.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Helpful post , we hope to pluck up the courage to go. I think it would be good to know the main rule though. Would the male be overdressed in a t shirt and shorts? The wife would be fine in her underwear, but I'm no six pack, more low end dad bod."

When you arrive you will need to change. You can wear the shorts if you wish or a towel but nobody wears t shirts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

When you arrive you will need to change. You can wear the shorts if you wish or a towel but nobody wears t shirts "

Do many wear shorts? I always imagined it would be towels or naked. Personally I'd feel much more comfortable in shorts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ord and LilliaCouple
over a year ago

Newport

Your question seems to imply you are enquiring about Chams. It's a 'wet club', so men are expected/required to dress down to their underwear, but using the supplied towel as a sarong is common practice.

Other clubs are 'dry clubs', like Angels, Route69, Xstasia etc and in these types of venue, sexy 'normal' clothing is required in public areas, in private rooms obviously anything suitable goes. So a man can wear a suit if he chooses to, or jeans and shirt for example. A lady can wear a Saturday night out clubbing dress.

Clothing guidance can be found in the Clubs section of the website for each venue, should you wish to do your own research.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and I take flip-flops as its better than bearfoot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ord and LilliaCouple
over a year ago

Newport

https://m.fabswingers.com/clubs

Found on the home page of the website, each venue has it's own listing along with the links to their private websites where applicable. Take a look around and see what clubs sound appealing to you.

In Chams, it has been known for men to wear a t-shirt or vest but they do stick out like a sore thumb, because generally everyone else (male) is topless. Wear as little as what you feel comfortable in, because if you don't feel comfortable it will be obvious and you will not enjoy your visit as much as you potentially could.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oobyliciousnessWoman
over a year ago

outside Llanelli.

Wish I had the courage to attend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sarong, genius . Thank you ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you so much for this feed .

Lots of important questions answered for me , hopefully I'll build up the courage to attend soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are lots of other things but the majority of problems in the clubs are wandering hands and non consent. Lots of advice to give. Maybe I should make a website lol. Also lads, doing the rounds is great (I.e. walking around the club seeing what is going on) but the only way people will play with you generally apart from in the gloryholes or darkroom is if you actually go and talk to people. Spend abit of time to get to know someone and create that connection. It also makes play more fun if you know what the other person likes.

Also guys that attend the gay sauna, don't just assume that you can touch. Men need to give consent aswell!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Shameful bump to help the boys at the weekend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edinthecornerWoman
over a year ago

Abertillery

Bump for the weekend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oody40Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

"Bump for the weekend "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bump for newbies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standing/sitting and staring at someone is probably not a great look either. At least to try to smile when I get caught

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ax-BangingMan
over a year ago

town

"Standing/sitting and staring at someone is probably not a great look either. At least to try to smile when I get caught

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orestguy28Man
over a year ago

Glos

"With the weekend finally here and lots of new fresh faces thinking about going to clubs for the first time this weekend, I thought it might be useful to give you some tips on club etiquette. Please feel free to join in with your advice and or experience.

Here goes...

Have I missed anything?"

Great post.

Just to add to your last point. Expectations, go with none but tons of respect and you may come home smiling!! That doesn’t mean you will have fucked your way through the club but it means you might have made some new friends. What do friends do…verify

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oody40Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

Bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very helpful thread,hope.to visit soon,although don't think.im comfortable in just underwear yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oody40Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

"Very helpful thread,hope.to visit soon,although don't think.im comfortable in just underwear yet"

You can wear whatever you’re comfortable in … no one will mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm trying to think what it's like!Is it awkward to.talk to.people when your half naked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oody40Man
over a year ago

Port Talbot

"I'm trying to think what it's like!Is it awkward to.talk to.people when your half naked"

Everyone’s really friendly … plus everyone’s dressed down too. It’s a really relaxed environment

You’ll love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I'm trying to think what it's like!Is it awkward to.talk to.people when your half naked"

I went for the first time last night, it’s just the same as talking to people in bikinis/shorts around a pool or at the beach only most women are a little more covered than a Bikini wearing basques!

There was no awkwardness at all other then people recognising my profile and myself having no idea who they are even after being told their user name!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ai MyrddinMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"I'm trying to think what it's like!Is it awkward to.talk to.people when your half naked

There was no awkwardness at all other then people recognising my profile and myself having no idea who they are even after being told their user name!"

It was great to see you there last night lovely x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare

"I'm trying to think what it's like!Is it awkward to.talk to.people when your half naked"

It's a great leveller. I find it makes for friendly, open conversation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare

"It was great to see you there last night lovely x"

Seconded.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to bump this thread up again for anyone considering a club visit.

I've had a few asking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumping again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buuuump!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a great thread

can't wait for my first visit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you have sex anywhere or are there certain places?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anywhere you want

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare

Even when singing on the karaoke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK kool, I need the courage to wear just underwear now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evilWoman16Woman
over a year ago

Neath,united kingdom

Genuinely love this advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oOverThereCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Except the hot tubs"

Doesn't seem to stop everyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs"

Why not the hot tubs ?? Iv had some amazing orgys over the years in the tub!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs

Why not the hot tubs ?? Iv had some amazing orgys over the years in the tub! "

In some clubs you can't play in them, that's why

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs

Why not the hot tubs ?? Iv had some amazing orgys over the years in the tub!

In some clubs you can't play in them, that's why

No one told me that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs

Why not the hot tubs ?? Iv had some amazing orgys over the years in the tub!

In some clubs you can't play in them, that's why

No one told me that

You can at The Greenhouse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certain fetishism nights offer smelly cock things. I'm not keen at all.

I'm trying to think what the event would be called"

Smegma

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edinthecornerWoman
over a year ago

Abertillery

Bump for weekend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumping

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *jolnir85Man
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Here goes...

Have I missed anything?"

I haven’t been to a club... yet. But this post has given me some insight and I’m intrigued. So thanks for letting me know the ground rules. Definitely want to attend one some day in the future. It’s good to have a little bit of knowledge about it before going in. Thanks again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been, would love to try it once, ideally find someone who knows what they are doing though as I’d be too nervous to go alone lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I have to say, I was always anxious thinking about my first time. Thanks to attending socials and making loads of friends I knew when I was able to attend the club there would be many familiar faces there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been invited to a party Saturday so looking for a single female to couple up with, I could never do a club flying solo or at least arrange to meet someone there lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris400Man
over a year ago

Newport

Great Post for ant newbies....please take note of all the points

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Also a tip even for the seasoned clubbers… if you’ve played with someone before, that doesn’t then give you consent to touch them every time you see them at the club. Consent is still needed, not just a given as it’s had been in the past!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

"Also a tip even for the seasoned clubbers… if you’ve played with someone before, that doesn’t then give you consent to touch them every time you see them at the club. Consent is still needed, not just a given as it’s had been in the past!"

100% this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Anywhere you want

Except the hot tubs

Why not the hot tubs ?? Iv had some amazing orgys over the years in the tub!

In some clubs you can't play in them, that's why

No one told me that

It's the floaters for the next users that's the problem!!!

Gbat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imandHer9396Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Bumping for the weekend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread