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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So what do venues have against socials?

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

That depends on whether you mean historically, or now.

Historically, some venues have had complaints about inappropriate behaviour by individuals within the swinging group, and this had led to the venue being withdrawn, most notably recently with the loss of the Great Western.

At other times, venues have been changed due to the number of complaints about just about everything you can think of, and its fair to say some people seemed to complain just because they could... but were never part of the solution, just part of the problem!!!

Sourcing a new venue is these days more a problem of size, location, suitability, and mainly cost, one figure quoted was for £900, plus extras for a DJ etc meaning if you got 200 people in the costs would rise to at least £4.50 per person, not a great deal but again some people complained about having to pay a pound!!!! Plus, the money would have to be paid up front.... so the organisers stood to lose a lot of money if people didnt show up!! Would YOU pay out that sort of cash?

I am glad someone started a thread on this, because it gives me a chance to voice a few things about socials.

Firstly... if someone goes to the time, effort, personal expense and stress of organising a social, for flips sake STOP WHINGEING AT THEM!!!

Pay the money, turn up, enjoy the evening... KEEP YOUR FINGERS OUT OF PEOPLES KNICKERS!! and say a big thank you to whoever organises it.

If you think you can do better for a quid per person.... stop gobbing off and do it!!!

If you put your name on the list, and cant make it, please please let the organisers know, nothing worse than turning people down because the list is full, only for 20 people not to turn up.... myself I would have a two strikes rule... fail to turn up twice without contacting the organisers and you would be banned from attending any others. Harsh? Perhaps.... but not as harsh as the crap they have to take when those on the "reserves list" find out there was space for a few more at the venue because of no-shows!

Sure, real life throws the odd spanner in, sometimes right at the last minute, but surely the least you can do is tell someone you cant make it?

If you attend a social, try to keep your libido, and your mouth, in check. Whilst we are all there to have fun, make friends, and ultimately perhaps even set up a more "naughty" type of meet, lets not try to corrupt the bar, door and waiting staff, or even random passers-by or "'nillas" from adjoining rooms, discretion isn't a dirty word ya know!

And finally... I'd personally like to say a HUGE thank you to all those, both past and present, who have organised socials. While we have, in our own small way, tried to help out a little at some, they are the ones who do by far the hardest, most thankless task.. many thanks, and we'll see you at the next one, first drink is on me!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My biggest fear is no one turning up and being dumped with a huge bill at the end.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

From reading about socials in other parts of the country, the costs and methods of paying vary, but almost all the others require some payment, either as a deposit, or in full, before they will put your name on the list.

Some organise quite basic affairs, and ask a few quid, and some book entire hotels and require a deposit months in advance!!!

Personally, if someone was to organise a large, more lavish affair, we would go, but we, along with most other people, would need time to save for the costs involved.

I guess if you are going to organise something, think ahead, perhaps start a thread asking who would be interested to gauge possible numbers, and then make a plan, get the costs, sort out how much you need to raise, and set up a paypal account or similar method of payment and ask for a deposit of maybe 50% of the cost (depending on how much it costs you, and how much the total cost is), any surplus maybe going to charity.

Bottom line.... make sure the money raised covers the costs, and then you can relax and enjoy the evening/day/weekend with everyone else.... just be prepared for the usual whingers who you couldnt satisfy no matter what you did!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said Mart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been to socials in Scotland where people have had their boobs out within 10 mins of been there. Been so predictable, others have had bets on how long it would be till they came out

Others, the bar staff have been made aware of it early in the evening. Been to one venue and it was shared WC's…. while in there, guys from the public area said 'You heard that the function room is full of swingers?"

Non of this is ideal really eh?

When we are online, most people have faces blanked out etc to protect our identity, so why do people, once they have a few beers in them, choose to brag about what we do as a 'hobby'. Not so bad if the venue is 100 mile away fro your home… but not if its a close to home one.

We organised a Masquerade Ball last year in Glasgow. We were quite clear when mailing people the venue details that there was to be no playing and people were to be discrete. It did seem to work. We will do the same this year with the one that we are holding in Edinburgh.

Regarding costs, we did get the impression that many people are prepared to pay extra money to attend something that is in a good, lush venue. We have attended many a social in 'free' venues and have enjoyed ourselves, hats off to the organisers but if people are prepared to pay £15-20/person then a much nicer venue can be found

Socials are a good way for new people to the scene (especially guys) to get known with the regulars… get some verifications and hopefully let people see they stand out from the crowd. Yet so many people spoil the socials. So much so, some people we know have stopped organising them. What happens if everyone stopped organising them?

Those that step over the mark at a social will only help to kill them off completely… is that what they want?

Steve

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

IF I can't get the numbers I need then I'd really need to consider opening the night to the general public. I'd like to have a jazz band and burlesque dancers. Black tie and gowns. The venue I have in mind is an old theatre art deco inside but now a music venue. If I start this and only get a few ppl interested I'd have to open it to general public to get money back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seems a lot of interest in a masked ball all that needs to be done is to make sure no one mentions that they are swingers or the venue to anyone else. Im sure it will be fine xx

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"IF I can't get the numbers I need then I'd really need to consider opening the night to the general public. I'd like to have a jazz band and burlesque dancers. Black tie and gowns. The venue I have in mind is an old theatre art deco inside but now a music venue. If I start this and only get a few ppl interested I'd have to open it to general public to get money back. "

Simple then...

Start a thread, outlining what you hope to offer.

How many folks will the venue hold?

How much will the function cost?

Add a little for the "fuck around factor" and profit, lets face it theres got to be a little in it lol.

Then tell folks the cost, and ask how many are interested.

If you think its a goer, set up a system where people can pay a deposit by a cut-off date, this will give you a better idea of real numbers.

If you don't hit your target number, can you still run it by bumping the final cost slightly?

if not, or if people aren't happy, cancel, and give people their money back, those that have kept a reciept obviously lol!

Maybe I'm not seeing the problems, but it seems straightforward to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never attended a social yet but some venues would probably object before even knowing anything about the event ! As far as cost if it was £5 a head or per couple wouldd it break the bank ?

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