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Anyone read any crackers lately, we could all do with a chuckle. | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep?" I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs. | |||
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"Looked at a profile this morning, the header says 'FFS read the profile'. Scrolling down, the profile says 'Fill in later.'
Anyone read any crackers lately, we could all do with a chuckle."I wouldn’t say I’ve seen any particularly funny ones recently, but I’ve seen some extremely cringe ones where most of the profile is a badly written 50 Shades-style fantasy where you kind of have to laugh at how bad it is. | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs."I stand corrected  | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected "Warlocks been sin binned. Go stand in the corner for 10 minutes | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected
Warlocks been sin binned. Go stand in the corner for 10 minutes "10 minutes??, I've been standing there for the 20 | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected "Sorry, I know I shouldn’t get on the forums until I’ve had a coffee, but I keep doing it anyway. You know the Snickers ad, “you’re not you when you’re hungry”? Well for me it’s more like “you’re not you when you’re insufficiently caffeinated” It just happened to be one of those things smartarses like to message me to complain about. | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t get on the forums until I’ve had a coffee, but I keep doing it anyway. You know the Snickers ad, “you’re not you when you’re hungry”? Well for me it’s more like “you’re not you when you’re insufficiently caffeinated” It just happened to be one of those things smartarses like to message me to complain about."No human being should start their day without sufficient caffeine intake, that's how wars are started  | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t get on the forums until I’ve had a coffee, but I keep doing it anyway. You know the Snickers ad, “you’re not you when you’re hungry”? Well for me it’s more like “you’re not you when you’re insufficiently caffeinated” It just happened to be one of those things smartarses like to message me to complain about."This is a lie, she's this grumpy all the time. Totally worth it though  | |||
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"The ones that get me, are the Cannot Accom and Cannot Travel profiles. Where do you want to play? On your doorstep? I’m one of those, apologies for the offence
Cannot accommodate = should be obvious, no-one is coming to my house. Hotels are a thing.
Cannot travel = no I will not drive for two hours for a no-better-than-average shag. I used to have “can travel”, but every basic dude in my messages thought that meant I’d drive across the country for their benefit. So now I have “cannot travel” and explain in my profile text that that means no more than a 30-minute drive.
Lots of people also use it to mean they only meet in clubs.
I stand corrected
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t get on the forums until I’ve had a coffee, but I keep doing it anyway. You know the Snickers ad, “you’re not you when you’re hungry”? Well for me it’s more like “you’re not you when you’re insufficiently caffeinated” It just happened to be one of those things smartarses like to message me to complain about.
This is a lie, she's this grumpy all the time. Totally worth it though" I’m only grumpy when I can’t see you - so yes ok that’s all the time now - but when I can have my regular dose of Tedonism again I’ll be delightful, honest  | |||
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"Best I've seen " I may not be the guy of your dreams but I'm happy to fuck you until you find him " " That made me chuckle  | |||
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