Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Virus |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." Diagnosed ADHD here. You can message me if you need to talk. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Ive got AuDHD, diagnosed recently. Still not medicated. I struggle with the risk taking and seeking out stuff. Sometimes I worry I'm going too far. I get so angry with myself all the time just wishing I could operate like a "normal" person. Sometimes I just lock myself away to save myself and others from my erratic behaviour. I hate that I can't just be like everyone else and not get exhausted by masking 24/7" Solidarity. Have you had any therapy? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not for my Audhd, I have for my other things (ptsd ect)" Joining a support group for neurodivergent people can be very helful. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not for my Audhd, I have for my other things (ptsd ect) Joining a support group for neurodivergent people can be very helful. " I didnt know there were any tbh | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not for my Audhd, I have for my other things (ptsd ect) Joining a support group for neurodivergent people can be very helful. I didnt know there were any tbh" I've had a brief look where I live and there are peer to peer support groups for ASD and ADHD. If you feel brave enough then have a look. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." This is a very helpful post. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." I have autism and Borderline/Emotionally Unstable personality disorder, diagnosed. I also have complex childhood PTSD, ADHD traits, disordered eating, chronic fatigue, and perimenopause undiagnosed. I've had DBT, STEPPS and MBT psychotherapies to deal with the BPD/EUPD which has curbed the more/most unhealthy, dysfunctional and toxic behaviours. The thoughts feelings and triggers come and go but the main thing is that I control and manage my behaviour so I don't hurt myself or anyone else...physically or psychologically. I'm naturally risk-averse but I do see some behaviours as sensory seeking or sensory soothing or a reaction to being overstimulated or understimulated. I spend 7 hours a week working on my mental health just like people spend 7 hours a week in the gym/exercising working on their physical health. I don't have a family or a full-time job so that means I have more time to look after myself but if you are reaching a crisis point, you might have to change your lifestyle to survive. In my NHS support group we talk about managing the risk and harm reduction. so I can only suggest finding ways to honour your sensory and sexual needs with the lowest risk and least harm. this is different for everyone. I attended BDSM workshops to learn about how to reduce harm and risk, I talk over my bheviours with my safety buddies and psychotherapist and I attend the sexual health clinic regularly and they discuss safe sex, birth control, pregnancy termination, vaccinations with me and Prep and Pep with me. I'm open and as transparent with my playmate as possible. I also try to work with my playmates to be safe, sane, sober, consensual and communicative- BDSM acronyms. I'm newly diagnosed with autism so I'm still reading books and information and implementing unmasking and sensory detox strategies. I also engage in low-risk intimacy, such as a massage from another person, excluding genitals, which meets my sensory needs and connects me to the sexual feelings and sensations in my body. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not for my Audhd, I have for my other things (ptsd ect) Joining a support group for neurodivergent people can be very helful. I didn't know there were any tbh" loads online and loads on meetup for in-person loads of groups...not the other type....lol!   | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the risky sex and paraphilias/hypersexuality is down to sensory stuff. A search for dopamine." luckily I recognise I get dopamine from other stuff so I don't always have to turn to sexual stuff. on the down side of that, I hyperfocus on the other dopamine stuff and then due to my triggers end up dissociating and disconnecting from my body and other people and reality in general. so it's all about balance for me. Exercise alone or with my trainers stops me from disconnecting/dossociating completely and provides a small amount of dopamine/serotonin/adrenaline/oxytocin that keeps me emotionally regulated. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm diagnosed ADHD with STRONG possibility of Autism as well. I simply crave variety. And risk is variety 😅" I do the variety without the risk. I feel sick doing something high risk....it might be too sensory overstimulating for me. I get overstimulated easily.  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm diagnosed ADHD with STRONG possibility of Autism as well. I simply crave variety. And risk is variety 😅 I do the variety without the risk. I feel sick doing something high risk....it might be too sensory overstimulating for me. I get overstimulated easily. "I did have a meet in a swimming pool changing room, that was very risky  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I actually think my presence in this area of society is significantly more sensory-seeking driven than a desire for risk. " Definitely sensory-seeking with me. I’m not diagnosed (wasn’t a thing when I was a kid unless you were disruptive) but my son has been diagnosed with Au/ADHD and ever since everyone’s pointed out how I’m similar!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" my son has been diagnosed with Au/ADHD and ever since everyone’s pointed out how I’m similar! "So many of us in this same situation I think | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I am also from the time when you had to be acutely non verbal or disruptive to be diagnosed. It turns out I'm very high masking and I never even knew until the last few weeks what had been happening in my life and how pushing it down has caused innumerable problems and issues. I'm simultaneously relieved to have an answer but despondent at how my life has been ruined by my non diagnosis. "Why do you say ruined? Sorry just playing devil's advocate as an ADHD person with a high proclivity for risky sexual behaviour. Mindset is key | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I am also from the time when you had to be acutely non verbal or disruptive to be diagnosed. It turns out I'm very high masking and I never even knew until the last few weeks what had been happening in my life and how pushing it down has caused innumerable problems and issues. I'm simultaneously relieved to have an answer but despondent at how my life has been ruined by my non diagnosis.
Why do you say ruined? Sorry just playing devil's advocate as an ADHD person with a high proclivity for risky sexual behaviour. Mindset is key"In the way that I've never had a job until I was in my 40's. I could never revise at school so i always did shit in exams. I told people but I never got the support I needed. I could have done so much more with the right support and understanding. I can see retirement looming and I have nothing really. I'm still coming to terms with things, I'll try harder with mindset but I don't really know what to do ATM. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I am also from the time when you had to be acutely non verbal or disruptive to be diagnosed. It turns out I'm very high masking and I never even knew until the last few weeks what had been happening in my life and how pushing it down has caused innumerable problems and issues. I'm simultaneously relieved to have an answer but despondent at how my life has been ruined by my non diagnosis.
Why do you say ruined? Sorry just playing devil's advocate as an ADHD person with a high proclivity for risky sexual behaviour. Mindset is key
In the way that I've never had a job until I was in my 40's. I could never revise at school so i always did shit in exams. I told people but I never got the support I needed. I could have done so much more with the right support and understanding. I can see retirement looming and I have nothing really. I'm still coming to terms with things, I'll try harder with mindset but I don't really know what to do ATM. "All you can affect is the future, if you do have ADHD you will eat yourself alive worrying about the past. My top tip is use the diagnosis to understand yourself and avoid using it as an excuse to anyone other than yourself. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I am also from the time when you had to be acutely non verbal or disruptive to be diagnosed. It turns out I'm very high masking and I never even knew until the last few weeks what had been happening in my life and how pushing it down has caused innumerable problems and issues. I'm simultaneously relieved to have an answer but despondent at how my life has been ruined by my non diagnosis.
Why do you say ruined? Sorry just playing devil's advocate as an ADHD person with a high proclivity for risky sexual behaviour. Mindset is key
In the way that I've never had a job until I was in my 40's. I could never revise at school so i always did shit in exams. I told people but I never got the support I needed. I could have done so much more with the right support and understanding. I can see retirement looming and I have nothing really. I'm still coming to terms with things, I'll try harder with mindset but I don't really know what to do ATM.
All you can affect is the future, if you do have ADHD you will eat yourself alive worrying about the past.
My top tip is use the diagnosis to understand yourself and avoid using it as an excuse to anyone other than yourself."Wise words, thanks for those. I'm just self diagnosed though no official diagnosis. Waiting list here is humongous | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." This resonates so much. Thank you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." There are a lot of scientific papers on this subject online, so it’s a fairly common thing. Unfortunately, having ADHD and reading scientific papers does not go hand in hand. Please see my previous post about my experience with medication and its affect on impulsiveness. I know the route to medication is long and torturous but it really does help. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not diagnosed but many in the family are, my counsellor mentioned that many use sex as a means of control/selfharm in their life when they don't feel in control. Not sure if that would be the case for alot but it certainly was for me. " Interesting. Self harm (or more accurately self sabotage) has been a big factor throughout my life. The risky sex would definitely be a part of that. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not diagnosed but many in the family are, my counsellor mentioned that many use sex as a means of control/selfharm in their life when they don't feel in control. Not sure if that would be the case for alot but it certainly was for me. Interesting. Self harm (or more accurately self sabotage) has been a big factor throughout my life. The risky sex would definitely be a part of that." Exactly that, it was interesting to hear about when I discussed my previous sexcapades as a young adult. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not diagnosed but many in the family are, my counsellor mentioned that many use sex as a means of control/selfharm in their life when they don't feel in control. Not sure if that would be the case for alot but it certainly was for me. Interesting. Self harm (or more accurately self sabotage) has been a big factor throughout my life. The risky sex would definitely be a part of that. Exactly that, it was interesting to hear about when I discussed my previous sexcapades as a young adult. " Has this insight been useful to you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not diagnosed but many in the family are, my counsellor mentioned that many use sex as a means of control/selfharm in their life when they don't feel in control. Not sure if that would be the case for alot but it certainly was for me. Interesting. Self harm (or more accurately self sabotage) has been a big factor throughout my life. The risky sex would definitely be a part of that. Exactly that, it was interesting to hear about when I discussed my previous sexcapades as a young adult. Has this insight been useful to you " It was very because I was able to realise when I was 'not in control' and find other means of fixing it. I still enjoy sex now but not to the extent I was back in my early adulthood | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
. Firstly I thought I was all in my head coming from a conservative family where they didn't care about mental health while my friends teachers and peers always told me I had it since school and i didnt read up about it . Funnily enough when I moved abroad I talked to a counselor which said the same thing and my reaction was OK I have heard this before is this a bird or something ... She got me an appointment and told me to get tested and I got like a very high reading for it .. Please get yourself tested and follow the GP advice it will do you so much good | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find I'm getting worse as I get older. I wouldn't have tried it on with a married co-worker before, yet now we fuck regularly where we could easily get caught in work. I have even started being ridiculously flirty in work emails etc I think it's a real thing and not sure how to manage it 🙈" I think, but I'm not certain, that the trick is to find your dopamine hit somewhere else, somewhere safer. I thinks it's the dopamine deficit we struggle with. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find I'm getting worse as I get older. I wouldn't have tried it on with a married co-worker before, yet now we fuck regularly where we could easily get caught in work. I have even started being ridiculously flirty in work emails etc I think it's a real thing and not sure how to manage it 🙈 I think, but I'm not certain, that the trick is to find your dopamine hit somewhere else, somewhere safer. I thinks it's the dopamine deficit we struggle with." Could he right as after I've cum it's more than post nut clarity, I keep saying I'll stop but I can't | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find I'm getting worse as I get older. I wouldn't have tried it on with a married co-worker before, yet now we fuck regularly where we could easily get caught in work. I have even started being ridiculously flirty in work emails etc I think it's a real thing and not sure how to manage it 🙈" They say when you hit 40 things get worse. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find I'm getting worse as I get older. I wouldn't have tried it on with a married co-worker before, yet now we fuck regularly where we could easily get caught in work. I have even started being ridiculously flirty in work emails etc I think it's a real thing and not sure how to manage it 🙈 They say when you hit 40 things get worse. " This true? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think one if my problems has been that I thought everyone feels this way but it turns out they don't. And yet I always felt different from everyone else as well." That’s one of the problems. Spend your life not feeling you fit in, yet still thinking others are wired the same. Then once you realise why you are how you are, for example adhd you are then left wondering what “normal” feels like! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" They say when you hit 40 things get worse. This true?" Yes! ADHD is obviously always present, but it’s pretty challenging in childhood up until early twenties, then as your life settles down so does your adhd. But from around 40, it’s back to kick your ass 🤣 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" They say when you hit 40 things get worse. This true? Yes! ADHD is obviously always present, but it’s pretty challenging in childhood up until early twenties, then as your life settles down so does your adhd. But from around 40, it’s back to kick your ass 🤣" Just turned 40 thank fuck for that huh | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"One thing I’m very aware of is that a LOT of what I do/regular habits in my life is chasing a dopamine hit! Whether that’s knocking one out, sexual encounters, risk taking, retail therapy or drinking plenty of caffeine it’s all for the dopamine! " Yup that's me 100% | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Just turned 40 thank fuck for that huh" Most probably it then bud! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I just have to process things a lot more doing them which I never used too " In what way hun? Process as in Thinking about things? Over thinking things is a huge part of adhd and can be a nightmare! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"One thing I’m very aware of is that a LOT of what I do/regular habits in my life is chasing a dopamine hit! Whether that’s knocking one out, sexual encounters, risk taking, retail therapy or drinking plenty of caffeine it’s all for the dopamine! " Dammit, I never considered caffeine. I am an overeater as my brain has learned that's an easy hit. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Dammit, I never considered caffeine. I am an overeater as my brain has learned that's an easy hit." Yep it’s definitely a nice easy one to have a tea or coffee! If you have adhd you will also find the caffeine is NOT effecting you as it would a neurotypical person, it wont stop you sleeping for example! (same with energy drinks, cocaine, amphetamines etc). For them it speeds things up, but as neurodiverse are already 100 miles an hour and our brains are wired differently it slows us down and allows us to focus.
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Dammit, I never considered caffeine. I am an overeater as my brain has learned that's an easy hit. Yep it’s definitely a nice easy one to have a tea or coffee! If you have adhd you will also find the caffeine is NOT effecting you as it would a neurotypical person, it wont stop you sleeping for example! (same with energy drinks, cocaine, amphetamines etc). For them it speeds things up, but as neurodiverse are already 100 miles an hour and our brains are wired differently it slows us down and allows us to focus.
"I took E once and needed to go to bed. I never understood at the time but it makes sense now. I usually start yawning after a coffee. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Dammit, I never considered caffeine. I am an overeater as my brain has learned that's an easy hit. Yep it’s definitely a nice easy one to have a tea or coffee! If you have adhd you will also find the caffeine is NOT effecting you as it would a neurotypical person, it wont stop you sleeping for example! (same with energy drinks, cocaine, amphetamines etc). For them it speeds things up, but as neurodiverse are already 100 miles an hour and our brains are wired differently it slows us down and allows us to focus.
I took E once and needed to go to bed. I never understood at the time but it makes sense now. I usually start yawning after a coffee."I once took a massive dose of LSD .everyone told me I'd be awake for 24 hours. I fell asleep whilst watching movie a few hours in  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Will going private give a globally recognised diagnosis? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'not diagnosed but something's not right' That's me: with an official assessment not diagnosis. That session proved that I do have TRAITS of ADHD and Dyscalculia (that's numbers, planning and memory issues). None of these conditions exist in isolation, so along with IBS and oat intolerance (Gluten is healthy for me) and diverticular disease. My whole gut brain link is giving me problems and it's going to take a lot of joined up thinking and cross specialist head scratching in order to get to the bottom of this. A lot of this dates back to 1981, so I am NOT jumping on the trendy-to-be-ill-bandwagon. Waiting times are in years
Will going private give a globally recognised diagnosis?"I recognise the ISB thing as well. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'not diagnosed but something's not right' That's me: with an official assessment not diagnosis. That session proved that I do have TRAITS of ADHD and Dyscalculia (that's numbers, planning and memory issues). None of these conditions exist in isolation, so along with IBS and oat intolerance (Gluten is healthy for me) and diverticular disease. My whole gut brain link is giving me problems and it's going to take a lot of joined up thinking and cross specialist head scratching in order to get to the bottom of this. A lot of this dates back to 1981, so I am NOT jumping on the trendy-to-be-ill-bandwagon. Waiting times are in years
Will going private give a globally recognised diagnosis?
I recognise the ISB thing as well. "How are you managing? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'not diagnosed but something's not right' That's me: with an official assessment not diagnosis. That session proved that I do have TRAITS of ADHD and Dyscalculia (that's numbers, planning and memory issues). None of these conditions exist in isolation, so along with IBS and oat intolerance (Gluten is healthy for me) and diverticular disease. My whole gut brain link is giving me problems and it's going to take a lot of joined up thinking and cross specialist head scratching in order to get to the bottom of this. A lot of this dates back to 1981, so I am NOT jumping on the trendy-to-be-ill-bandwagon. Waiting times are in years
Will going private give a globally recognised diagnosis?
I recognise the ISB thing as well.
How are you managing?"Well I've been masking for nearly 50 years. Bottling it up and pushing it down without realising what it was until a few months ago so...it's very much a work in progress ATM. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What happened a few months ago" I self diagnosed myself as autistic/adhd. Then everything made sense. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What happened a few months ago I self diagnosed myself as autistic/adhd. Then everything made sense. " What happens next? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What happened a few months ago I self diagnosed myself as autistic/adhd. Then everything made sense. What happens next?" Frankly I don't know. There's something like a ten year waiting list for adult diagnosis here in Sheffield. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you think an official diagnosis would bring " The rubber stamp that can carry a lot of weight and hopefully a prescription, that should help with the symptoms. ie, being able to sleep, improved memory and the ability to think clearer...I imagine | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you think an official diagnosis would bring " This is the question! Is it really worth pursuing for what might be a decade? I'll be nearly 60 by that point and, frankly, the damage has already been done. So, I'm asking myself the very same question. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you think an official diagnosis would bring The rubber stamp that can carry a lot of weight and hopefully a prescription, that should help with the symptoms. ie, being able to sleep, improved memory and the ability to think clearer...I imagine" ^^^ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the risky sex and paraphilias/hypersexuality is down to sensory stuff. A search for dopamine." I'm entirely convinced most 'sex pest' behavior is sensory seeking. I haven't had sex in seven years ATM but if I developed a safe aquantance and we started having sex... He'd quickly tire of me wanting to keep going and go again, touch.. I've had an ex partner during a hook up say 'ergh id forgotten you were like this' and that was the first I even considered it might be a problem haha Like another comment above I've always had 'rules' or standard of communication required before I'd be willing to engage with someone sexually. It's never been an excitement for risk for me it's always been either riding the high of feeling connected to someone, sharing an experience or wanting to experience something and this being my best option to try and enjoy. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you think an official diagnosis would bring This is the question! Is it really worth pursuing for what might be a decade? I'll be nearly 60 by that point and, frankly, the damage has already been done. So, I'm asking myself the very same question." Same here. My fear is trying different meds that ultimately wont make any difference. At this moment,I am ok and managing so why rock that boat | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does anyone find they use sex to regulate at all? Have found myself using it to get that connection with another person for dopamine, but it’s usually the fastest way to regulate and get back to myself when I’m in a spiral. When you add the impulsivity stuff in it can sometimes lead you to risky places I guess. " Yes I have done. Didn't realise it at the time because I wasn't diagnosed then. But I recognise it now looking back | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes I have done. Didn't realise it at the time because I wasn't diagnosed then. But I recognise it now looking back" Yea that’s fair. There’s so much there when you look back on it. Is it something that happens as much now you know? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does anyone find they use sex to regulate at all? Have found myself using it to get that connection with another person for dopamine, but it’s usually the fastest way to regulate and get back to myself when I’m in a spiral. When you add the impulsivity stuff in it can sometimes lead you to risky places I guess. " Absolutely 100% | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What do you think an official diagnosis would bring This is the question! Is it really worth pursuing for what might be a decade? I'll be nearly 60 by that point and, frankly, the damage has already been done. So, I'm asking myself the very same question. Same here. My fear is trying different meds that ultimately wont make any difference. At this moment,I am ok and managing so why rock that boat " I'm diagnosed but unmedicated...you dont have to go down the meds route. Just having the diagnosis and being able to seek out specific therapy designed to work through and around the things I find challenging as well as doing a lot if my own learning and being able to enable my partner to understand some of the things I struggle with have been complete game changers for me. Working on emotional regulation was relationship saving... P  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm diagnosed but unmedicated...you dont have to go down the meds route. Just having the diagnosis and being able to seek out specific therapy designed to work through and around the things I find challenging as well as doing a lot if my own learning and being able to enable my partner to understand some of the things I struggle with have been complete game changers for me. Working on emotional regulation was relationship saving... P "I guess this is the thing. You don’t need to be diagnosed to learn about it and yourself, but having a diagnosis can help in terms of accepting yourself. Validation can be so vital. Then it would depend on what help you need so meds or coaching or financial help. All depends on how hard the struggle is and how quickly you need it fixed. Have definitely got a mantra of not always doing things in hard mode now. For me, learning, diagnosis and meds have helped with this. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes I have done. Didn't realise it at the time because I wasn't diagnosed then. But I recognise it now looking back Yea that’s fair. There’s so much there when you look back on it. Is it something that happens as much now you know?" To be fair I was only diagnosed 4 months ago. But so far - no. Not too much of an exaggeration to say the diagnosis has been life changing. I now have reasons for so many aspects of my life. Just not solutions to many of my issues - yet | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
". At least I now know why I do the things I do even if I can't really control them." 1000% this! This is where I'm at right now. And it makes a HUGE difference | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment." This can only be determined by proffessionals why ask on here seek a doctor | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment. This can only be determined by proffessionals why ask on here seek a doctor" Nah, such an ignorant take. Autistic people with actual lived experience determine how their neurodivergence affects them. A lot of the professionals have no idea and base their "knowledge" on outdated research | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty certain I'm autistic and ADHD and I think it manifests in paraphilias and risky sexual behaviour. Does anyone have any experience or advice with this? I'm feeling pretty confused at the moment. This can only be determined by proffessionals why ask on here seek a doctor Nah, such an ignorant take. Autistic people with actual lived experience determine how their neurodivergence affects them. A lot of the professionals have no idea and base their "knowledge" on outdated research " Autism is rife in my family, I’m defensive too. But it’s a super power when nurtured. My family is very artistic, musical, scientific, entrepreneurial, linguistically flavoured and also struggles socially sometimes, even though they are doing very well in what could be deemed, in their normal life. Behind the scenes we need to chill, blow off steam with wine or . Not me any more ten last one but I did self medicate for years. I think autism has been a gift for me. Another way of looking at autism is they are people who are people who are brilliantly sensitive, who feel differently to people not on the spectrum. They feel more, notice more and often achieve the SAME, as all the other lovely people in the world x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The aspergers diagnosis must be quite old now? " It's still used in the NHS - the databases in Europe are still catching up with the latest ICD-11 criteria. It's not been used in the US for a few years. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have a brother and son diagnosed with ASD, son with ADD too. I definitely have ADD though undiagnosed. I love risky sex, fucking married men, getting caught, bareback. It's definitely a dopamine hit." That makes absolute sense. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not diagnosed but many in the family are, my counsellor mentioned that many use sex as a means of control/selfharm in their life when they don't feel in control. Not sure if that would be the case for alot but it certainly was for me. " What she says 👍🏻 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’m 42 just been diagnosed with combined ADHD, Autism, OCD and ODD. Happy to talk to anyone regarding this " How long was the GP, assessment and diagnosis timescale? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have Aspergers & I was diagnosed in my late teens . Ive always struggled with the dating the side of things & alot of people Ive grown up with have all had relationships, married , kids & I’m still on my own but really miss the psychical side & lots of fun. " Amen to that. Been the same although I was diagnosed when I was 3 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have Aspergers & I was diagnosed in my late teens . Ive always struggled with the dating the side of things & alot of people Ive grown up with have all had relationships, married , kids & I’m still on my own but really miss the psychical side & lots of fun. Amen to that. Been the same although I was diagnosed when I was 3 "How do you cope with yours ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have a brother and son diagnosed with ASD, son with ADD too. I definitely have ADD though undiagnosed." do you mind pm-ing me? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
