FabSwingers.com forum: Conspiracy in family

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Ohhhhhh yes. My mother. She's grade A* and in deep. I've given up. I ignore her and anything conspiracy theory related and when she tries to drag my brother in, I private message him with all the info to support him in not agreeing with her nonsense. I've learned that trying to tackle it through education, head-on contradicting etc makes not one jot of difference. It's very sad actually.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries.

"I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up".

Then do it.

Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it.

Action, consequence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ohhhhhh yes. My mother. She's grade A* and in deep. I've given up. I ignore her and anything conspiracy theory related and when she tries to drag my brother in, I private message him with all the info to support him in not agreeing with her nonsense. I've learned that trying to tackle it through education, head-on contradicting etc makes not one jot of difference. It's very sad actually."

Yep, tried educating but any link I used is "of course you googled it, that link is in on it" etc and said persons sites, which are the bullcrap ones, are the only real ones

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries.

"I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up".

Then do it.

Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it.

Action, consequence."

I am working through this method currently buts its so hard because they are a big part in my life and i usually share everything with them. Its horrible having to do it this way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries.

"I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up".

Then do it.

Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it.

Action, consequence.

I am working through this method currently buts its so hard because they are a big part in my life and i usually share everything with them. Its horrible having to do it this way"

I hear you. I'm sorry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ntelligent Gent.Man
over a year ago

Solihull

A great question. I guess it depends on the person but I am largely stumped. Only advice I have been given is to say why would they do? what is the likelihood of that?

Problem is the brain often has an opinion first and looks for facts to back it up afterwards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Sorry to hear that. I'm not really sure to advise, it must be a very difficult situation to be in. I havn't been in that situation with covid, but many years ago a friend went down the rabbit warren of conspiracies, and I was one of the few who tried talking sense to her when she complained repeatedly on social media about her old friends disappearing and family distancing themselves from her.

But every time I tried to explain why that was (in various ways ranging from softly-softly to blunt 'come on, this is nonsense' and everything in between), her or her friends would just 'call me out' for being part of it or try and justify things with pretty ropey psuedo-science.

If you disagree, you're part of the conspiracy. If you say anything that doesn't fit, you're part of the conspiracy.

Hopefully someone better qualified will be able to give you some better advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The other alternative is unpleasant but possible.

I have an older relative who's pretty extreme politically. They (I'm being woke I'm not using their proper pronouns oh no! ... Is that misgendering? Is that not woke? ... I digress) rant. It's horrible.

I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I had this with brexit and a very close friend, after many a raised voice discussion I was just blunt and said I don’t want to talk about this with you anymore as it’s not a debate and we are never going to agree.

So we either continue as we were, enjoy our friendship and the strength we both get from that, and agree not to talk about this one topic or anything connected to it, if you raise it I will walk away.

It worked for us as we both realised our friendship is worth more than one topic in life

Good luck, it’s a tough position to be in with someone you are normally very close to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible.

I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops."

Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me"

Or they get louder

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had this with brexit and a very close friend, after many a raised voice discussion I was just blunt and said I don’t want to talk about this with you anymore as it’s not a debate and we are never going to agree.

It worked for us as we both realised our friendship is worth more than one topic in life

Good luck, it’s a tough position to be in with someone you are normally very close to "

I am hoping this will be the outcome, its what I am aiming for and said all along

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible.

I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops.

Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me"

Or they get louder"

Oh god.

My relative I think just wants to be heard. So I let them talk.

I'm sorry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries.

"I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up".

Then do it.

Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it.

Action, consequence."

Read this and though we're you watching me raise my girls.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkynudeMan
over a year ago

London

I’m sorry to hear about that. I hope in the end they value your relationship as much as you do and just let go.

Someone in my family blocker their mom on Facebook for the same reason. Fortunately, their grievance stayed in Facebook tho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

Asked my Daughter to move out and go back to her mum it's more chilled now

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It worked for us as we both realised our friendship is worth more than one topic in life

Good luck, it’s a tough position to be in with someone you are normally very close to

I am hoping this will be the outcome, its what I am aiming for and said all along"

You might have to be tough and break contact for a while, hope it works out for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

Stay away from them?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i recently started to talk to an old uni mate id not spoken to in 28 years and he is an avid pandemic denier and is in the process of writing a book on his crackpot theories.. i thought we were just going to chat about music

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkynudeMan
over a year ago

London

"i recently started to talk to an old uni mate id not spoken to in 28 years and he is an avid pandemic denier and is in the process of writing a book on his crackpot theories.. i thought we were just going to chat about music

How do you even write a book about that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who won't listen to different opinions but still insist on enforcing their own are almost impossible to deal with.

Look after yourself and ensure your content in your own mind what is right. Then try and ignore the noise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Stay away from them?"

Hard when it's your mother who lives with the Grandfather who was basically my surrogate dad. Not as easy as that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"People who won't listen to different opinions but still insist on enforcing their own are almost impossible to deal with.

Look after yourself and ensure your content in your own mind what is right. Then try and ignore the noise."

Yer look after you and don't stress it's hard but you come first in your life good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ljamMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

For me, if someone is determined enough to push that nonsense onto me without so much as a proper conversation, I'd be re-evaluating my relationship with them.

That said I know some relationships seem too important to sacrifice. In that case my best advice would be to tread water... we'll come out the other side of this eventually and the heat will go out of the debate. Raving about plandemics will seem pretty stupid and a waste of time to all but the fringe, who can bang on about it to each other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Laugh, put your finger by your temple and move it around in a circular motion while repeatedly saying "cuckoo, cuckoo"

Just repeatedly say yes I know, oooh I agree, of course it is, that's awful,

They're fishing and the simple answer is to not take the bait, it's difficult to argue when someone is agreeing with you.

Or pin them up against a wall and say look I'm fecking fed up now, shut the feck up and if you dare mention a conspiracy theory again I'm going to shove a marrow where the sun doesn't shine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a friend that has quite extreme views on this virus and we have really struggled.

We have tried to reason with him but he's just not having it so I'm really not sure what else we can do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Just tell them tbe world is flat and walk away...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?"

My mother has a lifetime of making piss poor decisions and then not taking responsibility for them. I think conspiracy theories help her to blame her misfortunes on sinister forces rather than her own stupidity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?"

I read an article on it which suggested a sense of powerlessness, needing control, and cognitive dissonance/ Dunning Kruger.

They're special and they know the secret, and bad things happen for reasons

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?

I read an article on it which suggested a sense of powerlessness, needing control, and cognitive dissonance/ Dunning Kruger.

They're special and they know the secret, and bad things happen for reasons "

I read this too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away"

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away"

My sympathies xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away"

I hope it pssses in the case of your relative or friend. In my case, it's very long standing and the Covid pandemic is just a new conspiracy theme in a long line.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?"

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating"

Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues.

The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating"

Hopefully there's hope in this case then, and agree with Lorna.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating

Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues.

The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way."

No, I am pretty sure its not mental health x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating

Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues.

The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way."

Yes, it can be incredibly hard to know what to believe and the need to know seems greater. Charlatans are taking advantage of this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating"

Is there any basis to what they're saying?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the input.

I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes.

I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away

Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?

Very new.

Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating

Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues.

The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way.

Yes, it can be incredibly hard to know what to believe and the need to know seems greater. Charlatans are taking advantage of this."

Yes they are, playing on peoples fears.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

It's a fascinating subject (not conspiracies btw !, but rather why certain folks get "attracted" to them).

There is no single answer why. It's highly individualistic.

It ranges from

1. Low self-esteem

2. A sense of "empowerment"

3. Fear

4. Lack of Objectivity

5. Poor Education

6. Gullibility / Over trusting nature

7. A sense of superiority over others

8. Desire to manipulate

And that's just a few I can think of. And some folks can be 1 of these or combinations.

All I can say is that you cannot out-rationalise a person out of their belief when they did not rationalise themselves in to it.

All you can do is try to find out the reason they got themselves in to it, and counter that.

Eg, if fear is the motivating force that drove them to their conspiracy, then comforting them and reassuring them is the prime lever to use to get them out of it.

You've got to understand the root cause, not the symptoms. Hope it works out well for all parties.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a fascinating subject (not conspiracies btw !, but rather why certain folks get "attracted" to them).

There is no single answer why. It's highly individualistic.

It ranges from

1. Low self-esteem

2. A sense of "empowerment"

3. Fear

4. Lack of Objectivity

5. Poor Education

6. Gullibility / Over trusting nature

7. A sense of superiority over others

8. Desire to manipulate

And that's just a few I can think of. And some folks can be 1 of these or combinations.

All I can say is that you cannot out-rationalise a person out of their belief when they did not rationalise themselves in to it.

All you can do is try to find out the reason they got themselves in to it, and counter that.

Eg, if fear is the motivating force that drove them to their conspiracy, then comforting them and reassuring them is the prime lever to use to get them out of it.

You've got to understand the root cause, not the symptoms. Hope it works out well for all parties.

The root cause is my brother, drumming it into them until they caved and looked at his "evidence"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *loppysuckerMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Take YouTube away from them. That’s where my dad finds all of the conspiracy videos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Take YouTube away from them. That’s where my dad finds all of the conspiracy videos "

There's plenty more sources of the BS than just YouTube, unfortunately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"The root cause is my brother, drumming it into them until they caved and looked at his "evidence"

That must have been especially painful, being a close family member and very difficult to deal with. It's almost like having a loved one "kid napped", except they are being held hostage by others poisonous thoughts and beliefs. It's incredibly toxic.

Kudo's to you for persevering with your brother. That demonstrates the depth of love you have for them. He sounds incredibly lucky to have such a good sister !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

FAB didn't like me using the word which means to take someone hostage without their consent, hence I had put a space in between the words.

Hmmm. I wonder if "dognapped" is ok....clicks "submit"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Clearly it is.

Right, so if anyone is planning on absconding with barrels of puppies, FAB is the place to discuss it. But regular human hostage taking is right out. Gotcha.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I would make my boundaries clear and then insist that they stop, if they disrespected my request. I would remove myself from their presence, if they would not stop and leave.

I will only discuss scientific evidence, which everyone who knows me appreciates. But if someone doesn't want to discuss on their basis, there would be no point.

If it led to ill feelings, I would discuss the problem, as a relationship problem with them, at a separate point, without the emotional stress. I would not discuss the conspiracy or virus again, if ever, until I'd aired my dissatisfaction with the relationship.

Suggesting time out, if someone isn't getting the message to stop, is often helpful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously.

The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it.

I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health.

I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion.

All the best OP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously.

The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it.

I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health.

I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion.

All the best OP."

There are about 4 people on this earth I will never cut off and they are one of them so not an option

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe they just aren't easily persuaded? Possibly they understand that people with power and money can and do very dark things? Not taking powerful people at their word is not a lack of intelligence, it may be a misguided lack of trust depending on the subject, but it is a lack of trust that is rooted in reality in some cases.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

If someone is forcing you into a discussion then they don't want a debate, they want to "educate" you and "open your eyes". It's hard to belive, but even if they are wrong in this case, conspiracy theorists or just people that question all narratives aren't doing it because they are dumb, in fact the opposite, there is shady shit that happens constantly and if they belive those things then their attempts to communicate that to your actually comes from a fear caused by what they have learned or heard rumour of and is actually them caring for you. It's annoying and hard to see because your personal views don't match theirs but in their eyes they are warning you of a perceived danger.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously.

The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it.

I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health.

I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion.

All the best OP.

There are about 4 people on this earth I will never cut off and they are one of them so not an option"

Then you are in an incredibly difficult situation. I'll reiterate- all the best.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

I have a friend like this, I don't agree with her at all but I let her speak, I just don't debate with her. She has no-one else to talk about it to as everyone else has walked away, I decided that I am strong enough to support her without damaging my mental health and beliefs so everyday for 20 minutes, she gets to rant. It varies day to day on intensity and over time it has changed to become less extreme, like you I refuse to walk away from her so I decided to support her in a way that's tolerable for both of us Instead

Good luck Ivy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas.

Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective.

I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down.

When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story.

I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed.

Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away.

If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My father, who is now deceased, had extreme opinions on most things, it's attention seeking in the main. Just mmhmm along while you mentally do up shopping lists, don't argue, remove yourself from the situation if they persist in wanting to argue, pointing out why you're leaving.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/21 08:13:34]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insecurity, cognitive thinking, fears, political alignments, pattern finding are traits often found in conspiracists according to a few studies on the subject.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

Hot WIVES 01 March

lol. I knew someone many years ago that had been reading a broadsheet newspaper and had it folded in such a way that he believed the same killer of JFK killed Elvis because of a Walmart Takeover attempt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol. I knew someone many years ago that had been reading a broadsheet newspaper and had it folded in such a way that he believed the same killer of JFK killed Elvis because of a Walmart Takeover attempt."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

This may sound conspiratorial but it's not completely an accident your friends and family have ended up down a rabbit hole. There had been a number of factors in play for a while now. But there does seem to be a point of no return.

I understand your situation OP, I'm in a similar one myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew "

Are you related to sheep by blood or marriage?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas.

Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective.

I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down.

When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story.

I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed.

Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away.

If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?"

Why?

Why do I have to listen to it?

Why do I have to research the bullcrap?

This is completely missing my point and backing down to them.

If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew "

Bit of both unfortunately .... they bloody everywhere

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"
Best to have nothing to do with them I have lost one friend who is an anti vaccine but it is an attitude I cannot and will not tolerate.

Tell them to shut up or get out do not suffer fools.Not easy with families but stand up for what is right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective.

I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down.

When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story.

I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed.

Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away.

If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?"

I think that's worthwhile to a point, but if someone is unwilling to listen to your perspective... Why should you waste your time dealing with things that might harm your mental health? Some of this stuff is terrifying, what they believe. We all only have so much mental energy and their offloading of their fear onto others... It's not my job to lift them up, they have to help themselves. You know?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?

Fair point

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/21 11:25:00]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective.

I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down.

When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story.

I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed.

Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away.

If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?

Why?

Why do I have to listen to it?

Why do I have to research the bullcrap?

This is completely missing my point and backing down to them.

If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it."

I was trying to be diplomatic as you said you didn't want to lose them.

So in that case.

Carry a whistle everyone they start with it all, blow whistle loudly hopefully stopping the conversation then immediately start talking about a different subject.

Or just get up and go make a cup of tea.

Just say fuck off I'm not interested and talk about something else, that should get point across.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Within my inner circle we use the simple 'I respect your decision, even if I don't agree with it' a lot

It just means we agree to disagree and that we leave something if it comes into this category. Luckily all of us work to it, if one didn't I'd simply ask them to respect my decision directly

I hope you are able to resolve it, we need to pull together in tough times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective.

I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down.

When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story.

I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed.

Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away.

If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?

Why?

Why do I have to listen to it?

Why do I have to research the bullcrap?

This is completely missing my point and backing down to them.

If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it."

You don't have to listen to it. In addition to what I covered above, you can create a 'closing' statement that is a huge 'No more. Stop!', that ends their access to you. You can decide the words and behavioural gestures that signify this, that are right for you and fit them. It may mean you walking away from them sometimes, so that you are not acceptable for them to continue. Done right, like training Pavlov's dogs, they will get the message. You can communicate at a different topic point that you will not be party to the discussion, as it will be out of the heat of the moment. Bold, clear unambiguous ending of your involvement repeatedly should instil the message. You have obviously tried a lot but crafting a tone of voice, words and behavioural gestures that are very distinct, if repeated, should reinforce the pattern or the 'discussion' being brought to an end.

If they continue, your chat at another point, could include you gaining their agreement on how you will stop them in future. You remain respectful throughout though making it clear that you have a specific boundary that excludes that topic area.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm so sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ljamMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

What a rotten turnout. Still, you have been open and honest and most importantly true to yourself. People change, sounds like they've changed in a way which makes a close friendship impossible for the time being. Maybe they'll change again in the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

Look after you don’t dwell on it as this is not your fault and you have put out the olive branch so the ball is in their court.

lots of love to you stay safe x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

I'm going to buck the trend a bit here and say that this person might be feeling hurt and as if they need time away from you. Obviously I don't know their story or how they're feeling but time and distance might make all the difference to this situation.

When it comes down to it you won't do what they want ie listen to their daft theories and they won't do what you want ie shut up about their daft theories.

I hope you can resolve this, it's awful when a rift occurs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

When it comes down to it you won't do what they want ie listen to their daft theories and they won't do what you want ie shut up about their daft theories.

I hope you can resolve this, it's awful when a rift occurs "

Yes, it's true.

I'm sure it's hard for both of them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option"

Ah. That's horrible for you.

How old is your mum?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately assertiveness...tell them you respect their position but don’t wish to talk about it and then hold that line and play the broken record and keep repeating... and good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option"

Not easy and feel for you in the current situation, obviously it goes without saying that the issue is resolved through time or mutual love and respect for each other but if it can't then a bit of distance might bring that through as hard as that will be..

Best wishes..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option"

It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

Ah. That's horrible for you.

How old is your mum? "

52, why do you ask?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. "

I have said this yes, I believe it shows sign of a cult, including brainwashing and isolating people from family members

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

Is she still in contact with other family members? Perhaps they can get in touch and make sure she is ok and let you know.

If it was me I'd send a message now and then to say I hope they are ok.

Hope you can both talk again in time. Maybe a break in contact will be good to let things settle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck.

I have said this yes, I believe it shows sign of a cult, including brainwashing and isolating people from family members"

You're far from the first to be here. I was there myself. It's not going to be easy but some people are worth it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

Is she still in contact with other family members? Perhaps they can get in touch and make sure she is ok and let you know.

If it was me I'd send a message now and then to say I hope they are ok.

Hope you can both talk again in time. Maybe a break in contact will be good to let things settle. "

My brother started her on it so they talk alot about it.

I called my nanna and nanna said the same as me and wont talk to her about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. "

Yes, I feel that way with some of my relatives, unfortunately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its awful and you will never be able to placate, but absolute silence as they speak through their thoughts then no response will cause them to pause hopefully stop.

It's like having an excitable child that continues to interrupt or not listen to other's viewpoints. We take a moment of reflection for thinking, identifying wrong action in this circumstance. If the child continues to disrupt the class and other's they are removed for a period of time to work alone. Yes it's different for a child they are being educated in the boundaries of proper behaviour called manners.

As a grown woman if she isn't able to stop after you have said it is not a conversation you are willing to have. It's amazing what happens when someone will not argue the opposing side with them.

I've found its a great opportunity to practice some mindfulness allowing the white noise to drift away. Takes practice but has got me this far with a couple of family members, especially non festive discussions when alcohol is involved. I hope you are able to come to a resolution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long.

I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may

Is she still in contact with other family members? Perhaps they can get in touch and make sure she is ok and let you know.

If it was me I'd send a message now and then to say I hope they are ok.

Hope you can both talk again in time. Maybe a break in contact will be good to let things settle.

My brother started her on it so they talk alot about it.

I called my nanna and nanna said the same as me and wont talk to her about it"

Hope your nanna is still in contact with her. Sounds like you and your nanna have got each other which is good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

If any of my family start with the conspiracy theories I tell them once It’s crap and I’m not interested but if they try to carry on the discussion I just put my fingers in my ears and start the LALALALALALALA!!!!!

They soon give up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

Ah. That's horrible for you.

How old is your mum?

52, why do you ask? "

I do think the later arrivals to the internet can be more susceptible, but not restricted to them. Social media is a cancer, it can be so damn dangerous.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

Ah. That's horrible for you.

How old is your mum?

52, why do you ask? "

My mum is coming up for 62 and she's in so deep it's unbelievable. Sorry you're dealing with this, Ivy. I have no idea how to advise because with my own mother, I've gone down the "ignore" route and am just trying to minimise the potential harm she could cause other family members by trying to give them sensible advice and sources.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Got a really good mate,dead clever good nob etc and is bang into the whole vaccination,empty hospitals stuff.

I just try and avoid it.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Got a really good mate,dead clever good nob etc and is bang into the whole vaccination,empty hospitals stuff.

I just try and avoid it.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion ."

Incorrect. My mother is not entitled to question whether the Holocaust happened, nor accuse Jewish people of all sorts. I am descended from Jewish immigrants on my Dad's side and I find it horrific. She's not entitled to that at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Deleted them from WhatsApp.

They can't be convinced and no point debating. Unless you set up a YouTube channel, from your mom's bedroom, then they'll believe everything you say it seems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Got a really good mate,dead clever good nob etc and is bang into the whole vaccination,empty hospitals stuff.

I just try and avoid it.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion .

Sorry I didnt read that bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option

Ah. That's horrible for you.

How old is your mum?

52, why do you ask? "

Because sometimes in older people an obsession can be a sign of a problem but your mum is way too young for that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible.

I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops.

Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me"

Or they get louder"

When they ask are you listening the answer is NOPE

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eefyBangerMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Life would be boring if we all agreed x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put headphones on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

There is a few things within my family that can trigger some very deep emotions, I try to take a deep breath and and keep the conversations to less emotive topics.

Of course situations can be very difficult, but if possible I try to steer away and keep the peace

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality."

I wouldn't say they're becoming reality it's so ordinary now to believe and espouse them. They are regularly posted here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality."

What like?

I'm not denying it doesnt happen ,just curious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

That is a hard one.

You either set boundaries of what you will talk about, or learn to be able to just go with the flow on some topics knowing that you can't do anything about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality."

Any examples?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

Don't take any notice and don't respond

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago

kinkville

"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family.

An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on.

You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on.

You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides.

Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with?

This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this?

How have you dealt with similar situations?"

I have the exact same problem. I have 2 that have become complete but jobs and I love them dearly. Nothing works to convince them otherwise. And it is upsetting as it is affecting them negatively. I partially blame having too much time alone on the internet.

The ONLY thing that has worked for me is to say "but you don't know for sure that it's true" and they do concede that much... along with humour.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check them into any hospital and if they are unfortunate enough to catch Covid, they will change their tune pretty quick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since"

What conspiracies was she talking about?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality.

Any examples?"

Elvis really is alive and all shook up on the moon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since

What conspiracies was she talking about?"

I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *beeMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I had exactly this issue, asked and asked for the person to stop and to agree that we had differing opinions. But still no end to it, this ended with me coming very close to trading physical blows, no way back now I think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since

What conspiracies was she talking about?

I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further"

Her conspriracy about the virus being contagious is correct.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rman82Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Just accept that people have different opinions. Just because somebody has a different opinion doesn’t make them a conspiracy theorist, this whole thing is new to everyone so if people are questioning things then that’s a good thing. Unfortunately it seems that anybody who questions anything other than the narrative they are given by the main stream media is automatically labelled a conspiracy theorist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since

What conspiracies was she talking about?

I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further

Her conspriracy about the virus being contagious is correct."

I meant the conpiracy theories being contagious, of course the virus is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since"

Good news.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since

What conspiracies was she talking about?

I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further"

Glad to hear you've managed to build some bridges again. Life is too short to fall out with those we love.

It's been an incredibly difficult and worrying time for many people and straining many relationships. I don't think there are any easy answers. Just be kind, be patient, be supportive and count to 10.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive.

I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since"

I'm glad this is the case for you, Ivy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnny2006Man
over a year ago

worcester

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?

This actually covers most conspiracy theorists. It's very prevalent with left wing types who think 'bankers' or 'billionaires' control everything. But really it is just a way of absolving themselves of responsibility for the rubbish situation their lives are in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?

My mother is righter right wing than most right wingers you can think of, based on my experience of her views.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok a post wasn't appropriate so I have removed it, it is probably best the mail is sent to your relative rather than on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you just keep screaming "fake news" "fake news"?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are trying to wake you up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d listen to the evidence they are providing and take all the propaganda on BBC1 with a huge pinch of salt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoco DMan
over a year ago

somewhere on earth

"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?

they simply woken up to the fact that we have been indoctrinated and start looking for info for them selfs instead praying daily to the TV to be spoon fed it's sweet amber nectar, why don't people look up some of these conspiracy theories and use it as a base to destroy one's argument, but no it's always the same, if someone say anything that gose against there indoctrination, the common defence is to scream conspiracy nut and anti-vaccer all because it fashionable,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester

As due to restrictions I've not really seen any family members for some time now I'm lucky not to have this problem. However I think it must be like having a Trump supporter in that no matter how much evidence to the contrary they still think he's wonderful?

There's a no win situation?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread