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"Ohhhhhh yes. My mother. She's grade A* and in deep. I've given up. I ignore her and anything conspiracy theory related and when she tries to drag my brother in, I private message him with all the info to support him in not agreeing with her nonsense. I've learned that trying to tackle it through education, head-on contradicting etc makes not one jot of difference. It's very sad actually." Yep, tried educating but any link I used is "of course you googled it, that link is in on it" etc and said persons sites, which are the bullcrap ones, are the only real ones ![]() | |||
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"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries. "I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up". Then do it. Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it. Action, consequence." I am working through this method currently buts its so hard because they are a big part in my life and i usually share everything with them. Its horrible having to do it this way | |||
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"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries. "I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up". Then do it. Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it. Action, consequence. I am working through this method currently buts its so hard because they are a big part in my life and i usually share everything with them. Its horrible having to do it this way" I hear you. I'm sorry. | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Sorry to hear that. I'm not really sure to advise, it must be a very difficult situation to be in. I havn't been in that situation with covid, but many years ago a friend went down the rabbit warren of conspiracies, and I was one of the few who tried talking sense to her when she complained repeatedly on social media about her old friends disappearing and family distancing themselves from her. But every time I tried to explain why that was (in various ways ranging from softly-softly to blunt 'come on, this is nonsense' and everything in between), her or her friends would just 'call me out' for being part of it or try and justify things with pretty ropey psuedo-science. If you disagree, you're part of the conspiracy. If you say anything that doesn't fit, you're part of the conspiracy. Hopefully someone better qualified will be able to give you some better advice ![]() | |||
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"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible. I have an older relative who's pretty extreme politically. They (I'm being woke I'm not using their proper pronouns oh no! ... Is that misgendering? Is that not woke? ... I digress) rant. It's horrible. I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops." Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me" Or they get louder | |||
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"I had this with brexit and a very close friend, after many a raised voice discussion I was just blunt and said I don’t want to talk about this with you anymore as it’s not a debate and we are never going to agree. So we either continue as we were, enjoy our friendship and the strength we both get from that, and agree not to talk about this one topic or anything connected to it, if you raise it I will walk away. It worked for us as we both realised our friendship is worth more than one topic in life Good luck, it’s a tough position to be in with someone you are normally very close to " I am hoping this will be the outcome, its what I am aiming for and said all along | |||
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"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible. I have an older relative who's pretty extreme politically. They (I'm being woke I'm not using their proper pronouns oh no! ... Is that misgendering? Is that not woke? ... I digress) rant. It's horrible. I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops. Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me" Or they get louder" Oh god. My relative I think just wants to be heard. So I let them talk. I'm sorry. | |||
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"The blog Captain Awkward has good advice. If memory serves it essentially is, set your boundaries. "I won't discuss it, Mary*" (*apologies, common female name for convenience) "If you bring it up again I'm leaving/ hanging up". Then do it. Give them a bit of time to think about it before re-engaging. If they try again, leave/hang up again, and give them more time to think about it. Action, consequence." Read this and though we're you watching me raise my girls. ![]() | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. Asked my Daughter to move out and go back to her mum it's more chilled now You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" | |||
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"I had this with brexit and a very close friend, after many a raised voice discussion I was just blunt and said I don’t want to talk about this with you anymore as it’s not a debate and we are never going to agree. So we either continue as we were, enjoy our friendship and the strength we both get from that, and agree not to talk about this one topic or anything connected to it, if you raise it I will walk away. It worked for us as we both realised our friendship is worth more than one topic in life Good luck, it’s a tough position to be in with someone you are normally very close to I am hoping this will be the outcome, its what I am aiming for and said all along" You might have to be tough and break contact for a while, hope it works out for you | |||
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"i recently started to talk to an old uni mate id not spoken to in 28 years and he is an avid pandemic denier and is in the process of writing a book on his crackpot theories.. i thought we were just going to chat about music d" How do you even write a book about that? ![]() | |||
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"Stay away from them?" Hard when it's your mother who lives with the Grandfather who was basically my surrogate dad. Not as easy as that. | |||
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"People who won't listen to different opinions but still insist on enforcing their own are almost impossible to deal with. Look after yourself and ensure your content in your own mind what is right. Then try and ignore the noise." Yer look after you and don't stress it's hard but you come first in your life good luck | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Laugh, put your finger by your temple and move it around in a circular motion while repeatedly saying "cuckoo, cuckoo" Or Just repeatedly say yes I know, oooh I agree, of course it is, that's awful, They're fishing and the simple answer is to not take the bait, it's difficult to argue when someone is agreeing with you. Or pin them up against a wall and say look I'm fecking fed up now, shut the feck up and if you dare mention a conspiracy theory again I'm going to shove a marrow where the sun doesn't shine. | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Just tell them tbe world is flat and walk away... ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?" My mother has a lifetime of making piss poor decisions and then not taking responsibility for them. I think conspiracy theories help her to blame her misfortunes on sinister forces rather than her own stupidity. | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element?" I read an article on it which suggested a sense of powerlessness, needing control, and cognitive dissonance/ Dunning Kruger. They're special and they know the secret, and bad things happen for reasons | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element? I read an article on it which suggested a sense of powerlessness, needing control, and cognitive dissonance/ Dunning Kruger. They're special and they know the secret, and bad things happen for reasons " I read this too | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away" Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away" My sympathies xxx | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away" I hope it pssses in the case of your relative or friend. In my case, it's very long standing and the Covid pandemic is just a new conspiracy theme in a long line. | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing?" Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating" Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues. The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way. | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating" Hopefully there's hope in this case then, and agree with Lorna. | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues. The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way." No, I am pretty sure its not mental health x | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues. The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way." Yes, it can be incredibly hard to know what to believe and the need to know seems greater. Charlatans are taking advantage of this. | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating" Is there any basis to what they're saying? | |||
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"Thanks for the input. I needed to vent, I will just keep shutting down for however long it takes until this passes. I will not lose the person over it, just sadly have to take some time away Has the person always been a bit of a conspiracy theorist or is it quite a new thing? Very new. Normally they are quite switched on and intelligent which just makes it more frustrating Without being insensitive could there be a bit more going on Maybe like some mental health issues. The other thing is people are genuinely quite scared at the moment so I guess people are just trying to make sense of things in their own way. Yes, it can be incredibly hard to know what to believe and the need to know seems greater. Charlatans are taking advantage of this." Yes they are, playing on peoples fears. | |||
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"It's a fascinating subject (not conspiracies btw !, but rather why certain folks get "attracted" to them). There is no single answer why. It's highly individualistic. It ranges from 1. Low self-esteem 2. A sense of "empowerment" 3. Fear 4. Lack of Objectivity 5. Poor Education 6. Gullibility / Over trusting nature 7. A sense of superiority over others 8. Desire to manipulate And that's just a few I can think of. And some folks can be 1 of these or combinations. All I can say is that you cannot out-rationalise a person out of their belief when they did not rationalise themselves in to it. All you can do is try to find out the reason they got themselves in to it, and counter that. Eg, if fear is the motivating force that drove them to their conspiracy, then comforting them and reassuring them is the prime lever to use to get them out of it. You've got to understand the root cause, not the symptoms. Hope it works out well for all parties. " The root cause is my brother, drumming it into them until they caved and looked at his "evidence" ![]() | |||
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"Take YouTube away from them. That’s where my dad finds all of the conspiracy videos " There's plenty more sources of the BS than just YouTube, unfortunately. | |||
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"The root cause is my brother, drumming it into them until they caved and looked at his "evidence" ![]() That must have been especially painful, being a close family member and very difficult to deal with. It's almost like having a loved one "kid napped", except they are being held hostage by others poisonous thoughts and beliefs. It's incredibly toxic. Kudo's to you for persevering with your brother. That demonstrates the depth of love you have for them. He sounds incredibly lucky to have such a good sister ! | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously. The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it. I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health. I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion. All the best OP. | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations? I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously. The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it. I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health. I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion. All the best OP." There are about 4 people on this earth I will never cut off and they are one of them so not an option | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" If someone is forcing you into a discussion then they don't want a debate, they want to "educate" you and "open your eyes". It's hard to belive, but even if they are wrong in this case, conspiracy theorists or just people that question all narratives aren't doing it because they are dumb, in fact the opposite, there is shady shit that happens constantly and if they belive those things then their attempts to communicate that to your actually comes from a fear caused by what they have learned or heard rumour of and is actually them caring for you. It's annoying and hard to see because your personal views don't match theirs but in their eyes they are warning you of a perceived danger. | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations? I would, and have cut them out of my life. Yes, seriously. The issue here is not that you are disagreeing. It's that you have repeatedly stated that you are not consenting to this discussion, and they have ignored it. I get wanting to help people. To help people become better. But I'm passed the point that I can do that over and above by own mental health. I know this sounds harsh. And it is just my humble opinion. All the best OP. There are about 4 people on this earth I will never cut off and they are one of them so not an option" Then you are in an incredibly difficult situation. I'll reiterate- all the best. | |||
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"lol. I knew someone many years ago that had been reading a broadsheet newspaper and had it folded in such a way that he believed the same killer of JFK killed Elvis because of a Walmart Takeover attempt." ![]() | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations? Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew " Are you related to sheep by blood or marriage? | |||
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"Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas. Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective. I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down. When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story. I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed. Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away. If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?" Why? Why do I have to listen to it? Why do I have to research the bullcrap? This is completely missing my point and backing down to them. If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it. | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations? Yep I’ve ignored the sheep in my family ... phew " Bit of both unfortunately .... they bloody everywhere ![]() | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Best to have nothing to do with them I have lost one friend who is an anti vaccine but it is an attitude I cannot and will not tolerate. Tell them to shut up or get out do not suffer fools.Not easy with families but stand up for what is right | |||
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"Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas. Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective. I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down. When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story. I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed. Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away. If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being?" I think that's worthwhile to a point, but if someone is unwilling to listen to your perspective... Why should you waste your time dealing with things that might harm your mental health? Some of this stuff is terrifying, what they believe. We all only have so much mental energy and their offloading of their fear onto others... It's not my job to lift them up, they have to help themselves. You know? | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations? If someone is forcing you into a discussion then they don't want a debate, they want to "educate" you and "open your eyes". It's hard to belive, but even if they are wrong in this case, conspiracy theorists or just people that question all narratives aren't doing it because they are dumb, in fact the opposite, there is shady shit that happens constantly and if they belive those things then their attempts to communicate that to your actually comes from a fear caused by what they have learned or heard rumour of and is actually them caring for you. It's annoying and hard to see because your personal views don't match theirs but in their eyes they are warning you of a perceived danger. " Fair point | |||
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"Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas. Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective. I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down. When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story. I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed. Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away. If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being? Why? Why do I have to listen to it? Why do I have to research the bullcrap? This is completely missing my point and backing down to them. If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it." I was trying to be diplomatic as you said you didn't want to lose them. So in that case. Carry a whistle everyone they start with it all, blow whistle loudly hopefully stopping the conversation then immediately start talking about a different subject. Or just get up and go make a cup of tea. Or Just say fuck off I'm not interested and talk about something else, that should get point across. | |||
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"Well the way I have been dealing with all the conspiracy theories on here is just going on the principal that they are scared and confused about the situation we are all in, everyone deals with stress differently perhaps the person is just trying to make some logic out of this all however out there the ideas. Maybe sit down and say ok tell me everything you think is a conspiracy, tell them before you are not there to be converted you just want to listen to their perspective. I dunno maybe have a notepad and write everything down. When you have a spare hour or so research every point and give and show different sides of the story. I don't think your going to change their opinion and if you continue to let them go on its just going to make you more and more stressed. Tell them after the sit down that's it were not going to talk about it again and if they try your going to walk away. If they don't listen then you have a tough decision to make, what's more important than your own well being? Why? Why do I have to listen to it? Why do I have to research the bullcrap? This is completely missing my point and backing down to them. If I dont want to hear it, then that should be respected. Nobody has to listen, research or debate anything they dont want and waste their own time on it." You don't have to listen to it. In addition to what I covered above, you can create a 'closing' statement that is a huge 'No more. Stop!', that ends their access to you. You can decide the words and behavioural gestures that signify this, that are right for you and fit them. It may mean you walking away from them sometimes, so that you are not acceptable for them to continue. Done right, like training Pavlov's dogs, they will get the message. You can communicate at a different topic point that you will not be party to the discussion, as it will be out of the heat of the moment. Bold, clear unambiguous ending of your involvement repeatedly should instil the message. You have obviously tried a lot but crafting a tone of voice, words and behavioural gestures that are very distinct, if repeated, should reinforce the pattern or the 'discussion' being brought to an end. If they continue, your chat at another point, could include you gaining their agreement on how you will stop them in future. You remain respectful throughout though making it clear that you have a specific boundary that excludes that topic area. | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() Look after you don’t dwell on it as this is not your fault and you have put out the olive branch so the ball is in their court. lots of love to you stay safe x | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() I'm going to buck the trend a bit here and say that this person might be feeling hurt and as if they need time away from you. Obviously I don't know their story or how they're feeling but time and distance might make all the difference to this situation. When it comes down to it you won't do what they want ie listen to their daft theories and they won't do what you want ie shut up about their daft theories. I hope you can resolve this, it's awful when a rift occurs | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() Yes, it's true. I'm sure it's hard for both of them. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option" Ah. That's horrible for you. How old is your mum? | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option" Not easy and feel for you in the current situation, obviously it goes without saying that the issue is resolved through time or mutual love and respect for each other but if it can't then a bit of distance might bring that through as hard as that will be.. Best wishes.. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option" It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option Ah. That's horrible for you. How old is your mum? " 52, why do you ask? | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. " I have said this yes, I believe it shows sign of a cult, including brainwashing and isolating people from family members | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() Is she still in contact with other family members? Perhaps they can get in touch and make sure she is ok and let you know. If it was me I'd send a message now and then to say I hope they are ok. Hope you can both talk again in time. Maybe a break in contact will be good to let things settle. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. I have said this yes, I believe it shows sign of a cult, including brainwashing and isolating people from family members" You're far from the first to be here. I was there myself. It's not going to be easy but some people are worth it. | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() My brother started her on it so they talk alot about it. I called my nanna and nanna said the same as me and wont talk to her about it | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option It's very hard to deal with. I'll be blunt, you have to look at it like a family member has joined a cult. If you look on the qanoncasualties subreddit. Their wiki has lots of resources. Good luck. " Yes, I feel that way with some of my relatives, unfortunately. | |||
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"Sadly, said person has not spoken to me since. 4 days of silence, never in my life have they not spoken to me for that long. I sent a message to say I dont hold resentment to them and still love them but I am not ready to discuss it. This wad read and ignored so now I will just leave this be, come what may ![]() Hope your nanna is still in contact with her. Sounds like you and your nanna have got each other which is good. ![]() | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option Ah. That's horrible for you. How old is your mum? 52, why do you ask? " I do think the later arrivals to the internet can be more susceptible, but not restricted to them. Social media is a cancer, it can be so damn dangerous. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option Ah. That's horrible for you. How old is your mum? 52, why do you ask? " My mum is coming up for 62 and she's in so deep it's unbelievable. Sorry you're dealing with this, Ivy. I have no idea how to advise because with my own mother, I've gone down the "ignore" route and am just trying to minimise the potential harm she could cause other family members by trying to give them sensible advice and sources. | |||
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"Got a really good mate,dead clever good nob etc and is bang into the whole vaccination,empty hospitals stuff. I just try and avoid it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion ." Incorrect. My mother is not entitled to question whether the Holocaust happened, nor accuse Jewish people of all sorts. I am descended from Jewish immigrants on my Dad's side and I find it horrific. She's not entitled to that at all. | |||
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"Got a really good mate,dead clever good nob etc and is bang into the whole vaccination,empty hospitals stuff. I just try and avoid it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion . Incorrect. My mother is not entitled to question whether the Holocaust happened, nor accuse Jewish people of all sorts. I am descended from Jewish immigrants on my Dad's side and I find it horrific. She's not entitled to that at all." Sorry I didnt read that bit. | |||
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"Ok il say, it is my mother, who I have been very close to my entire life. We usually talk daily and spend alot of time together. So that is why I was desperate to find another option Ah. That's horrible for you. How old is your mum? 52, why do you ask? " Because sometimes in older people an obsession can be a sign of a problem but your mum is way too young for that | |||
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"The other alternative is unpleasant but possible. I have an older relative who's pretty extreme politically. They (I'm being woke I'm not using their proper pronouns oh no! ... Is that misgendering? Is that not woke? ... I digress) rant. It's horrible. I let them. I tune them out. Eventually it stops. Cant tune this person out, you get the "are you listening to me" Or they get louder" When they ask are you listening the answer is NOPE | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Life would be boring if we all agreed x | |||
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"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality." I wouldn't say they're becoming reality it's so ordinary now to believe and espouse them. They are regularly posted here. | |||
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"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality." What like? I'm not denying it doesnt happen ,just curious. | |||
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"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality." Any examples? | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" Don't take any notice and don't respond | |||
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"How do you deal with an extreme conspiracy theorist in the family. An extremely close family member with completely out there opinions on the virus that you just do not agree on. You tell them you do not wish to discuss it with them, yet they carry on. You tell them AGAIN, in 10 different ways, you do not wish to discuss it as you will fall out, but they still continue, insisting you should debate things and see both sides. Why? Why do I have to debate? Why do I even have to have an opinion on it to begin with? This has made me fall out with someone I was close to before which is upsetting, is there some way to get round this? How have you dealt with similar situations?" I have the exact same problem. I have 2 that have become complete but jobs and I love them dearly. Nothing works to convince them otherwise. And it is upsetting as it is affecting them negatively. I partially blame having too much time alone on the internet. The ONLY thing that has worked for me is to say "but you don't know for sure that it's true" and they do concede that much... along with humour. | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since" What conspiracies was she talking about? | |||
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"It’s amazing how many conspiracy theories have become or are in the process of becoming reality. Any examples?" Elvis really is alive and all shook up on the moon. | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since What conspiracies was she talking about?" I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since What conspiracies was she talking about? I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further" Her conspriracy about the virus being contagious is correct. | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since What conspiracies was she talking about? I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further Her conspriracy about the virus being contagious is correct." I meant the conpiracy theories being contagious, of course the virus is ![]() | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since" Good news. ![]() | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since What conspiracies was she talking about? I think it is contagious so I won't spread the bullcrap any further" Glad to hear you've managed to build some bridges again. Life is too short to fall out with those we love. It's been an incredibly difficult and worrying time for many people and straining many relationships. I don't think there are any easy answers. Just be kind, be patient, be supportive and count to 10. | |||
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"I now speak to my mother and it hasnt come up again, and she has also left facebook which i see only as a positive. I started talking about day to day stuff and we have not mentioned the argument since" I'm glad this is the case for you, Ivy. | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element? My mother has a lifetime of making piss poor decisions and then not taking responsibility for them. I think conspiracy theories help her to blame her misfortunes on sinister forces rather than her own stupidity." This actually covers most conspiracy theorists. It's very prevalent with left wing types who think 'bankers' or 'billionaires' control everything. But really it is just a way of absolving themselves of responsibility for the rubbish situation their lives are in. | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element? My mother has a lifetime of making piss poor decisions and then not taking responsibility for them. I think conspiracy theories help her to blame her misfortunes on sinister forces rather than her own stupidity. This actually covers most conspiracy theorists. It's very prevalent with left wing types who think 'bankers' or 'billionaires' control everything. But really it is just a way of absolving themselves of responsibility for the rubbish situation their lives are in." My mother is righter right wing than most right wingers you can think of, based on my experience of her views. | |||
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"Really interested in whether these people can explain why they are so drawn to conspiracy theories, is there some common element? My mother has a lifetime of making piss poor decisions and then not taking responsibility for them. I think conspiracy theories help her to blame her misfortunes on sinister forces rather than her own stupidity. This actually covers most conspiracy theorists. It's very prevalent with left wing types who think 'bankers' or 'billionaires' control everything. But really it is just a way of absolving themselves of responsibility for the rubbish situation their lives are in." they simply woken up to the fact that we have been indoctrinated and start looking for info for them selfs instead praying daily to the TV to be spoon fed it's sweet amber nectar, why don't people look up some of these conspiracy theories and use it as a base to destroy one's argument, but no it's always the same, if someone say anything that gose against there indoctrination, the common defence is to scream conspiracy nut and anti-vaccer all because it fashionable, | |||
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"Ohhhhhh yes. My mother. She's grade A* and in deep. I've given up. I ignore her and anything conspiracy theory related and when she tries to drag my brother in, I private message him with all the info to support him in not agreeing with her nonsense. I've learned that trying to tackle it through education, head-on contradicting etc makes not one jot of difference. It's very sad actually." As due to restrictions I've not really seen any family members for some time now I'm lucky not to have this problem. However I think it must be like having a Trump supporter in that no matter how much evidence to the contrary they still think he's wonderful? ![]() ![]() | |||
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